Do You Let Your Teenager Stay up Later During the Summer School Break?

We have a midnight curfew for being home in the summer and on weekends during the school year. We let our 16 year old stay up as late as he wants to and sleep in until noon in the summer. After 10 p.m. he has to be quiet because our 11 year old and 3 year old are asleep. The 16 year old has to be up by noon to feed his younger siblings lunch. Our 18 year old has a summer job and works 1 a.m. to 1 p.m. loading semi trucks. Teenagers need more sleep because their bodies are still growing. Summer time is a good time for them to get extra sleep. My kids grow a lot during the summer. During the school year our teenagers have too much homework. They are in honors and AP classes. They get home from ball practice about 6:30 p.m. and are up until midnight some nights getting their homework done.

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I am one of five children and my parents never set a bedtime for us growing up (during the summer). We had a curfew when we all got our licenses (10 p.m. or else!). Now that mine are teenagers (14 & 17) they have no set time during the summer either.....it's one of the pleasures of summertime (for them and me).

Enjoy your summer !

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Yes, I let my almost 14 year old stay up as long as he wants. Of course, I have a few rules to go with this PRIVILEGE. When I get up in the morning, all lights, radio/TV must be turned off. Anything left on means he will not get to stay up the next night (he hates that rule). Also, there is NO raiding the kitchen at night(he hates that one, too, and probably sneaks). We hide all the sugary snacks because he gets to stay up!! I look at it this way, since you work, he'll sleep most of the morning and maybe into noon and stay out of trouble. Now, if my son has something to do the next morning, then he doesn't get to stay up and goes to bed when we go to bed. That goes for the 2 weeks you have plans for your son!! Anyway, that's my story. Good luck and remember that your kids are different personalities and will go through life differently. You're just liking you daughters choices of going to bed at a decent hour!!

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I let my teenager go to bed when he wants- starting when he was about 16. I figured he needed to learn responsibility for himself.

Well I can tell you from experience: When my husband and i were dating through high school he stayed up every nite and played video games online especially during the summer. That was what he was about. He never went and drank, hes never smoked, hes never been into any trouble. He went to school and is now a game programmer. They just had a press release on the newest game. (http://www.360sync.com/2008/06/11/the-maw-announced-for-xbla) When i married him, i joined the gamming. I had a baby and i was breast feeding and playing games at the same time. My husband and I still play games.. its just what we do for fun. We would rather spend $15/month on a game subscription then spend $15+/person for one date nite. Anyways i'm just saying that your son will turn out just fine playing some games. who knows we might be playing the same game! (by the way.. most of the good games you get in groups with other players and play together.. well these groups dont really form until nite time. Its a lot of fun.) You could still say he has to be up by 10 or something and even if he didnt get off the games til 12 or 1 hes still would get over 8hrs of sleep. Sorry i have to side with your son on this one!

K.,

Yes, I do let my teenage daughter stay up late. In fact, I let her stay up as long as she wants. This only happens if she doesn't have to get up early the next day and do anything. I figure it is the summer time and she should enjoy her days out of school while she can. But, I do not let her talk on the phone pass 10:00 pm.

What I normally do is around two weeks before school starts, I make her go to bed early ever night and get up early so she can get back into the routine of her school schedule.

I would let him stay up one hour later. Why not, I am sure you would have wanted to as a kid. I would not go more than one hour though, the later he stays up, the later he sleeps and the more his schedule gets off. I would not want my kid up late playing video games anyway, but that is just my opinion. If you stay up and read or do anything after his normal bedtime, you could still be up to tell him it is time for bed. If he normally went at 9pm, you could read, get ready for bed, etc and then at 10pm, go tell him it is time for bed. I would not go to bed first or he may stay up way too late. Also, you could tell him that rules will go with this being able to stay up late...for example, you can stay up an hour later but if I see you sleeping all day, not getting your chores done, etc....you will go right back to your normal bedtime.

I have a high school daughter and during the summer I usually let her stay up till between 11-midnight. I see no point in later than that. Next year will be different as she is required to take summer school due to school course changes in the program she's involved in at school. There are programs you can get (not sure where) where the internet goes off at certain times. I don't see ANY reason for them to be online past midnight.

It also depends on what is getting done during the day. Time off from school is not time off from life/responsibilities. If they can't help around the house/yard, then that time is pulled back in 1/2 hour intervals till they get a clue.

Best of luck to you. Try & encourage more interaction with real people rather than online ones, IMHO, it's much healthier for them.

I also have a 14 year old boy who stays up very late. This child is sometimes going to bed when I get up in the morning. I think it is just as age thing. I remember I use to be a night owl to at their age. My feeling is as long as it doesn't interfere with your work schedule, and you know what kind of online games he is playing, what can it hurt. Now the week that he takes drivers ed, he should probably be in bed at a deceint time. We ran into this last year; about the last week of summer break I started making mine be in bed no later than midnight that was just so I could get him on a schedule. Good luck with whatever you choose to do. God Bless

K.,

If you read the research on teens and brain chemistry you will see that the same schedules that worked when they were younger do not make sense now. Teens tend to do better when they stay up later and sleep later. However, that isn't always the real world and it is our job to help them learn to function in the real world.

I have 5 children (18, 17, 16, 14, and 12) - two are steps and three are mine. We have never had a set bed time. Instead, I have taught them to listen to their bodies. If they stay up too late one night, they pay for it the next day and they then adjust by going to bed earlier that night. I believe that I am raising them to be adults, not children, and I think if we control every thing they do, then they won't learn to self-regulate, and there will be a big rebellion (without the necessary coping skills) when they are eventually on their own. In our house, afternoon naps are not allowed. Several of my kids are athletes, so they are basically exhausted by the time they get home and actually go to bed earlier than I would expect. A couple also have jobs in breakfast restaurants, and they get up early in the mornings without prompting from me. I think they realize that sleep is a necessary thing and something they need to plan for but not something we will battle over. Again, I am looking towards the way they will need to behave as adults...get enough sleep to meet your responsibilities the next day.

One of my children (a stepson, now 16) came to live with us last year. He had been living with his mom who was very controlling about bedtime. She claimed he was really hard to get up in the morning and that's why she insisted on a 9pm bedtime. He used to be in bed but would lay there for hours because he wasn't tired. I talked to him about it and I told him my philosophy. He liked it (sounded like fun!) but I also told him that I wouldn't be yelling at him to wake up...that it was up to him and he'd suffer the consequences if he overslept. It took a few months (and some missed busses), but he now uses an alarm clock on his own and gets up with no problem. He and his brothers (my sons) came up with a shower schedule and they help each other wake up so no one is late. I stay out of it and it is working for us! I think his mother is surprised because she was sure that the morning wakeup would be the issue that got him sent back to her...but I have not had a problem with him at all!

Now, regarding the gaming...that is an entirely different issue. We actually do limit the amount of time that can be spent on the Xbox Live and the computer. We do that by only "checking out" the plugs at certain times. My kids would be on those machines all day and night if they weren't regulated, and I do think that the Internet can be a dangerous place. All of our computers are out in the open where we can always see them (none in bedrooms) and everyone knows that we are watching. When the kids say, "Don't you trust us?" we reply, "We trust you, but we just don't trust everyone else out there". Also, "Trust, but verify!"

I know every family and child is different, but this is what has worked for us. Hope it helps. And, good luck...raising teens can make you crazy!!! However, we will blink and they will be gone, so I am really trying to remind myself to appreciate every minute...challenging as that is at times!

ghr

I have never known a teenager in highschool to even have a bedtime...but you might want to limit the video game use..the teenagers i know that live their life on a computer have major social issues...

Yes i let my oldest daughter stay up to 11:00. and my youngest (10)daughter to stat up to 10:00. unless they have friends over i let them stay up as long as they want. its a good idea for them to get their sleep.

I don't have teenagers, but I thought I'd weigh in anyway. I think I had an 11 PM bedtime during the summer when I was an early teen, but by the time I was 15 or 16 my parents weren't strict about bedtimes during the summer. I think I'd stay up to around midnight or so most nights and felt just fine the next day.

However, I used to teach middle school before I became a stay at home mom, and now many of my former students are high school students. Some of them have found me on MySpace, and I can see their online status on there. Many of those kids are 15 or 16 years old and up at 3 AM or later. Now that is ridiculous; they probably sleep all day. It'd be nice to give your kids a little freedom with bedtime, but let them know that they can't stay up all night.

No, not as a rule. Our teenagers (17 and 14) go to bed between 9:00 and 9:30 p.m., unless there's a family reason for them to be up later. Actually, the 17-year-old has her own room, so she's not necessarily "in bed," but she's in her room, and I go in and shut the light off and issue some threats by 10:00.

Why? First, because my husband and I want some time together alone. That means we have to get all eight offspring in bed (or the equivalent). Second, because we want them to get up at a reasonable hour (before 7:00) so we can have family prayers before their Dad leaves for work.

We do not let our children be online after we're in bed. Maybe they're playing games, maybe not, you know? You can shut off his Internet access so he can't play games after you go to bed. Maybe he can read. It's also possible to allow only sites that you approve. My 17-year-old is on a couple of literature/role-playing sites, and we can allow access to those sites specifically, but not others, on the computer she uses unsupervised.

My 13 year old son is allowed the same bedtime as Friday and Saturday nights during the school year...1am. He does not complain about this because hes tired by this time and is ready for bed. It also keeps him in a better mood the next day. Hope this helps :-)

I allow my 16 year old daughter to stay up late during summer break until band practice starts in July-which gets her back on schedule for school in August. My feelings about this are
she'll be facing the "real world" soon enough so let her enjoy
late hours while she can. She gets her sleep during the day.

Hope this helps!

i dont have kids that age but when i was younger my mom always let me stay up way later in the summer i didnt really have a bed time. its vacation hints have fun!!! let the kid stay up hes worked all year in school. now if he didnt have good grades that could be something to say hey buddy you wanna stay up late next summer get better grades. but if he did well in school then let him hang out. sounds like hes not out running with gangs anyway just playing games on the computer :)

K. how old is your son? i am a grandmother now of 5 and have 3 grown children 2 girls and 1 boy who is the youngest but 26 now i actually had the same problem when they were growing up being i worked a full week but i actually gave them till 11pm every night to do what ever if your son wants ot stay up longer like 12-1am and on then that is jst too late !!! i also gave my kids on the weekends 12 midnight that was it and it actually worked out good.. good luck.. i know theses time for teenagers are rough but hold your ground...!!! remember its your house they live in not theres i told my kids when they get older and move out they can stay up all night long.. ;-)

Unless we have something specifically to do early in the morning, I let my almost 14-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son stay up later. But I agree that they have to be up by 10 am at the latest. My son nevers sleeps past 7 amm, so that is no problem. But my daughter would sleep until noon if I let her.

About two weeks before school starts you'll have to adjust the schedule back to "school hours." Otherwise they won't be able to get up for school when it starts, and it really takes about two weeks to get them back on a regular sleep schedule. But other than that, I wouldn't worry much about it.

I don't have kids that age, but I was always allowed to stay up as late as I wanted and I don't see any reason why he wouldn't be able to. It's vacation, that's a part of the fun! I mean... he's old enough. If he did well in school, why not trust him? Especially if all he is doing is sitting on the computer. It's one of the best things about having no responsibilities yet. I think they deserve to have it, really. I mean, I miss it! Heh. We only get one chance to be young, and staying up late is not harmful at all. Give him that, at least.

Yes, but if there is any attitude the next day he goes to bed at the same time as his younger siblings. We do not try to keep anything quiet for him to sleep in and if he needs to do some chores we make him do them as well. Also if he wakes us up he knows that he is in trouble. Summer time is the one time of the year kids are able to be kids still. From the sounds of it, this may be the last summer that he has to relax before getting into the grind of the work force even if it is just part time.

I have a 16 year old (on the 1st) step son and he lives with us half the week. We let him stay up, and sometimes he will be crashing around 5 am. He sleeps till early afternoon and I really could care less. His dad is a night owl and so is he, so I figure let him do while he's young and still can. As long as he is quiet and doesnt wake any one up its fine by me.

Pretty much all the kids (two teenage sisters and a now 20 year old nephew) have been allowed to stay up late during their summer breaks here. When they were younger we would set a limit-like 2 am, and I would just get up to go to the bathroom and make sure everyone was either in bed or getting ready for bed. Now that they're older its just "be quiet, dont leave the house." type of thing. But I do still get up at least once to make sure everything is hunky dory. ;)

I do let my children stay up a little late during the summer break if they have nothing planned the next day. However, I have to work so I make them go to bed by 11 during the week and by 12 or so on the weekend. I realize this is their summer break, but I also do not let them sleep past 10 in the morning during the week. I have in previous years let them stay up later and sleep later but in the end it just makes it harder for them to get back "in the habit" when school starts back.

My teenager does "not think it is fair...all her other friends can stay up as late as they want" (you know the story I am sure), but she has less trouble readjusting her "clock" when school starts. If I doubted that she went to bed when I told her, I would just set my alarm to get me up to make sure she had complied. I have also gotten her up before I went to work and given her a list of things to do that day on nights that I caught her staying up too late.

Hi! I don't have any teen age children, but when I was in high school, my mom would let us stay up as late as we wanted, but we had to be up at 8:00 am, so we usually didn't stay up too late. When we had events or anything like that, we had a regular bed time those nights. She was at home with us, so she could make sure we were up and stayed awake....I don't know if this would work with your kids or not....Good luck!

I AM a proponent of the later bedtime in the summer, but I would NOT recommend that he spend the late-night hours online, especially if he's under 18 (which I assume he is)! Our kids were to only be online while WE were awake until they were adults. Too addictive, I'm afraid. Might also be prudent to keep his 'up-and-at-'em' time as consistent as possible throughout the summer, too. That keeps them from staying up too late, generally! LOL

Hi K.,

Other moms have given advice regarding bedtime hours and such, but I just wanted to mention that you might want to think in terms of having a set amount of time your teen can play his on-line games. Perhaps it doesn't matter when he's playing it, (probably dictated some by his other on-line friends), but the point is not to let him play for too long a time every day. He should have plenty of other interests in addition to it. The summer is long without projects or places to go, and just playing computer games. I have a 15 year old son who would love nothing more than to have carte blanche to play all he wants, but I know it's not good for him. So this might be something you want to consider.

Have a great summer!
D.

K., I have 4 kids ranging from 21 to 13. When the kids turned about 10, I let stay up as late as they want in the summer unless we had something to do early the next morning. But, if they are crabby the next day, then I make them go to bed earlier the next night. If they aren't getting into trouble and they are safe in your home what does it matter. I do not let my kids sleep past 9:30 or 10:00 the next day. If you have good kids, they will make good decisions on their own. Somebody once gave me the best advice "pick your battles", and it's always worked for me.

I have three teen girls 17,14,13 I allow them to stay up, I do not give them a specific time. However I do NOT allow them to sleep all day they must be up by 10 at the latest because they still have responsibilities around the house. My children are all night owls. If you are comfortable with the online games I would say your ok. I have access to all their passwords online and do monitor their use closely.
I think that if I want them to responsible I need to help teach them self control and boundaries so I dont think it will hurt to let him stay up.

Yes I have let me teens stay up later during weekends and holidays.When it comes to summer they have no set bedtime.I do tell them no later then midnite at the latest but sometimes they go over that..other nites the lights are out earlier.If I have something planned that I have to leave early for and they are coming with I tell them what time they are to be awake and if they go to bed late..less sleep to bad deal with it.If I dont have anything planned then I dont worry about it.I feel they are old enough to know what they need to do,how they will feel with less sleep and can deal with being tired.If they have plans or a job then I do tell them to get enough sleep.I feel they have to take responsiblity for something and something they can..good luck..
S. B

YES.... an occassionally I will make an exception for the curfew depending on what is going on and who he is with. But as far as staying up late and in the house, during the summer, I don't police that, however, after a few nights of staying up late, they usually like to catch up on their sleep several nights just as adults would do. So it all equals out.

The time..... I go to bed so I couldn't tell you how late he or his friends stay up. But when I have things for him to do the next day, I tell him and if he stays up too late, then that is his problem (that is when he is sleepy, that is when he will catch up on the sleep the next night).

I figure it is his summer.... have fun. As long as he is not out and into trouble I know he is at home and he likes Xbox so he usually plays that.
I have always been one that is not super strict, but not too lenient either. As long as they are not out... I can't go to sleep till he is in and he doesn't need to stay out past 11. Depending on what he is doing and who he is with, I will allow 12. They love to go to the late movies sometimes... that is FUN to them to stay out late so every once in a while I will let that happen.

I have a 17 year old son, and an 11 year old, who practically thinks he is a teenager. I do let them stay up and I let them sleep in, but I do limit it.

You can lock your computer so that it goes off at a certain time. This way, if whatever your "curfew" is for him, he will have no choice but respect it. Once he's done, he will likely get bored and go to bed. Put locks on the TV too, especially if you have cable or satellite. I can't lock the times on it, but I do lock all programing over PG-13. At night, even the free movie channels have very questionable programming and lots of nudity.

If he is an otherwise responsible teen, give him some freedom. My son has a job and knows his responsibilities. My younger is learning and knows that as long as he does his chores during the day and I can reach him at any time (I work too) than staying up is a bit of a reward.