68 answers

Deciding Whether or Not to Have Daughter Visit New Sibling at hospital...HELP!

We are being induced with our second child on Friday. We have a 21 mo. old daughter who is quite attached to mommy these days, and we are trying to decide if it is best that she come to see me and new baby brother at the hospital, or if it would be too traumatic to have to see me there and be going home without me. I'd like to hear any pros/cons from mommas who've been through this with a child around the age of 2. Thanks!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Wow, it sounds like you've all been here! =) What we've decided to do is bring my daughter to the hospital the day I get to come home, therefore bypassing any "leaving mommy behind" issues that might come up. I'm hoping to stay only one night, and I'm comfortable with this solution...I think it will be the best for us all. Thanks for all the advice! We are leaving for the hospital in a few minutes...yipee!!

Featured Answers

I had the same thing with my daughter, She 21 months older than her sister and I thought that she would not want to leave or would be jealous of her. I think the thing that helped me was my mom was in town for the birth so my mom spoiled her and she did not seem to care that we were not with her at all. It was nice to have that help. I don't know if that is something you have access too but I think if they are being doted over they don't seem to noticed. Also when we brought the baby home we let her help with most everything. getting diapers, baths, what ever she could do that way she felt like she was part of it too and not just in the way. For us we it worked I hope it works for you too.

1 mom found this helpful

We did it and I think it was harder for me than her! She stays home with daddy once a week when I'm at work so I think she was pretty comfortable being with him and grandma. They came to see me three times a day and called me before bedtime. We gave her a big sister necklace and a baby doll "from the baby" and she was so proud! I had taken her with me to OB appointments so that the medical stuff didn't seem unfamiliar either. We also read a book to her called "when you get a baby" and "the new baby" by Mercer Mayer. Both were good at explaining what will happen soon and what you can/can't do with a baby. Two is crazy but fun, good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

my kids are 17mo apart little princess first then my boy just like you. through my whole pregnance i took my daughter to every ok almost every appt. the best thing i ever did was have her come to the hostpial after i had him we even had a sleep over there with mommy,daddy baby,and big sister. 2years later my kids have a great bond like the did from day one.
S.........

More Answers

M.,

I just went through that same dilemma at the end of December. I was so worried about my first child, who was 23 months when little brother was born and his reaction. But it turns out I worried for nothing. My parents and in-laws watched over our first son while we were in the hospital and I found that when he came to visit it was a little overwhelming and confusing for him. I was in the hospital for three days due to a c-section. So I was very eager to see him, however if I was only in the hospital for one night I think I would have forgone him coming because he would rather have ran around in the hall and got into things, than see mom. While he was glad to see mom and dad, he was in a new place, so he wanted to explore, so he didn't really even pay much attention to me. While it put my mind at ease to see him, I think as a toddler it was just a new place to run around and mom and dad just happened to be there. Every child reacts different and remember a few days later they won't remember if they went to the hospital to visit you, their attentions spand last only minutes and once you get home, they'll just be glad your home.

1 mom found this helpful

My oldest two are 21 months apart and my oldest came to visit mom and the baby at the hospital. The second 2 are only 15 months apart and the older 2 were at the hospital with us when the baby was born. (of course with family around, plus it was a very short labor, 4 hours) They also visited the next day too. I didn't have too many problems with overly-attached, but with enough preparation from Dad and/or other family she is old enough to anticipate the visit and be prepared to leave without Mommy and the baby!
Also, it's kind of cool to have a big sister present FROM the baby when she visits at the hospital, it kind of takes away from the prospective apprehension of a permanent visitor/invader! It could be something small, big or even something simple like a blanket like one of the baby's. (matching, so no rivalries.)
Good LUCK!

1 mom found this helpful

I am sure that any decision you make will be the right one. Just remember that there will be some sibling riverly, and so it might be good to have your daughter see the new baby at the hospital and make her a part of it, so that she isn't as jealous. Otherwise, she will just know that you left him for a while and then came home with a new baby, which could create new problems.

1 mom found this helpful

My son was 3 1/2 when his little brother was born. My one tip would be that when your daughter comes in that no one is holding your son and he is in the bassinet. We had heard that from other parents. That way you are still "her" mommy when she comes in. My son was more upset over the iv still in my arm (he didn't come until the next day). Just know she will have a hard time leaving you at this confusing time!

Best wishes!!!

1 mom found this helpful

I think it's a good idea to make her a part of the process as early as possible. We had wanted to have our daughter be one of the first visitors, but we had some last minute complications and decided it would be better for her to come in the morning. Once she came it was great to have our whole family together. We had a gift for her "from the baby" like someone else suggested. It was hard for me to separate, but I think it was really worthwhile. That said, you know your daughter better than anybody. So, do what your heart is telling you to do. I would also say, once you have a plan, be flexible because birth can be unpredictable. Like I said, we had thought our daughter would be first, but since we had some changes we changed our plan. Overall, our birth was amazing and I wouldn't have changed a thing. Good luck on Friday. I wish you all the best and have fun welcoming #2. It can be busy sometimes, but welcoming the 2nd was wonderful. I was much more relaxed with the newborn and watching our kids get to know one another is so sweet. Enjoy!

1 mom found this helpful

My son was 18 months when we went to be induced with our second. We decided to have him be the first visitor so our little family could bond together. At first he was a bit upset that I was sitting in this tall bed with IV's on my arm, but he really enjoyed seeing his little brother. It also made the evening go a little better for him with my parents while we spent the one night in the hospital. If I had to do it again I would of had him come visit after I had the IV out, not that he remembered anything the next day other than he got a new playmate.
good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I had the same thing with my daughter, She 21 months older than her sister and I thought that she would not want to leave or would be jealous of her. I think the thing that helped me was my mom was in town for the birth so my mom spoiled her and she did not seem to care that we were not with her at all. It was nice to have that help. I don't know if that is something you have access too but I think if they are being doted over they don't seem to noticed. Also when we brought the baby home we let her help with most everything. getting diapers, baths, what ever she could do that way she felt like she was part of it too and not just in the way. For us we it worked I hope it works for you too.

1 mom found this helpful

We did it and I think it was harder for me than her! She stays home with daddy once a week when I'm at work so I think she was pretty comfortable being with him and grandma. They came to see me three times a day and called me before bedtime. We gave her a big sister necklace and a baby doll "from the baby" and she was so proud! I had taken her with me to OB appointments so that the medical stuff didn't seem unfamiliar either. We also read a book to her called "when you get a baby" and "the new baby" by Mercer Mayer. Both were good at explaining what will happen soon and what you can/can't do with a baby. Two is crazy but fun, good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

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