We hosted a sleepover for my daughter's 13th birthday with ten of her closest friends. There were terrible problems with three of the girls and several days later the nightmare continues. This morning my daughter informed me that one of the girls was posting pictures on myspace and going to put video on youtube. I found pictures on myspace and contacted the parent...she reluctantly had her daughter remove them. This is from a completely uninvolved parent that does not regulate her daughter's internet use at all!! My problem is that several of my daughters friends have myspace pages portraying themselves as 18 and older. These are 12 and 13 year old girls and boys. MySpace states in their "terms and agreements" that no child under 18 is allowed to state they are 18 or older. I feel that this is a complete injustice to these children for their parents to allow them to lie and it opens them up to an extraordinary amount of risk. Should I report all of these kids to myspace in hopes that the accounts will be deleted?? I do not know many of the parents and in my opinion if they were good parents they would not allow this. I do not feel that contacting them would even help. I am looking for advice because my first instinct is always to protect the children but I do not want to step out of my boundaries.
I reported the one that posted pics of my daughters party and myspace did nothing about it. Just so everyone knows my daughter is absolutely not allowed on any social network like myspace and facebook. She is also monitored in a public part of the house when she plays on club penguin and webkinz etc... I appreciate all responses as some were a great help.
I think you absolutely should report them to Myspace!
Apparently the parents arent to concerned about their childrens internet usage unfortunately and since you now know about it you should do something about it!
We have all heard of the dangers of the internet and girls at that age have no idea what they may be getting into it meeting people on there!
Good luck!
Myspace and facebook are two edged swords...My 17 year old daughter just informed, what I thought was, a loosey goosey mom that her 13 year old was being lewd on facebook. The women completely surprised me. She saw that there were boys that were friends that she didn't know and she called a friend that was a police officer. She started making phone calls to all the contacts on facebook and interviewed them all. She posted a note in the status that should run off the bravest warrior, lol. Then she deleted the account. I was so impressed that she dived right in and took care of it. No only that but she thanked my daughter profusely and even cried during the conversation. She was my next door neighbor for 3 years and I DID NOT expect that reaction.
One of my younger daughter's friends says she is 18 on facebook. Her mother suggested it so the "child" predators would not target her but see her as an older person that would not fall for that garbage. I do know her mom monitors her facebook just like I monitor my girls. People think of things differently. My youngest simply does not show an age or a graduation date and I approve every friend she has and I have both my girls passwords.
Honestly, I would tell the parents. Then go for whatever you think is appropriate after your conversations. Myspace is a community and they have given you the right with the terms and agreement to do what you can to abide by the rules. No one should get upset with anyone following the rules. This does not fall in a tattletale category. There are too many predators out there that can see right through these little girls pretending to be older.
God bless you and I wish you well with this!
M.
I would report them. This is a good lesson in not breaking the law. Personally I think a 13 year old is too young to have free reign on the internet anyway. You cannot control what other people do with their children (unfortunately) but you can certainly control your own child. BTW, "stepping out of your boundaries" to protect a child is always the right thing to do. If I were in your shoes I would report them.
I would inform their parents and report them to MySpace if that is possible. No one has the NEED or the RIGHT to these Internet sites, especially children, and 12/13 year-olds are children even if they don't think so. I agree with the previous responder who says that protecting children may mean we need to "step out of [our] boundaries".
i think you should tell the parents. this is their responsibility. my fear would be possible retaliation against your daughter by these girls.
Wow, this is what I have to look forward too, huh? My kids are both very young now.
I totally agree with you! I would contact myspace anonymously, if that is even possible. Don't tell your daughter, just say myspace has ways of monitoring this & deletes accounts of minors. I do think I would contact the parents & let them know b/c if it was my child, I would want the parents to contact me regardless of their perceptions of me as a parent. Good luck.
.
Hello,
I guess I'm the only, who would say not to reprt the children.
I have two teenagers myself and a 5 year old.
I know there is this instict of looking out for the other children.....but these are not you children.
It is not your job to report them, unless they are harming your child in any way.
My kids are on facebook, and so am I, I can keep an eye on them and they know, you do something dumm, you are out of facebook.
Children need to learn about the safety of the internet, and they learn by doing it.
I didn't allow my son at first to do these things and than he went to the library or a friends house.
But no I wouldn't report them, that is their parents problem, if they care about their children and if they are involved, they should know what they are up to.
You will acomplish nothing by reportem them, they just find another way to do it again or somewhere else.Concentrate on your own child,how to use the internet .
Some of my childrens friends are doing some dumm things, my kids know they are dumm and I'm always wondering, where are the parents???
But not my problem,I know the " it takes a Village...." quote sounds good,but I would use it in a different way, than monitoring my children's friend's Internet behavior.
God luck
My grandkids all have facebook accounts and I purposefully lied about their ages and made them over 18 so that they would not be scrutinized by pedophiles. But then our computer is in the living room where everyone can see the screen and they are never on unless I, or my husband, is in the room with them.
I have a feeling that the only reason they are saying their 18 is so they can access the site. I would email MySpace and give them the names of the girls and they should be able to remove them. It's sad that parents don't care enough to pay attention to what their kids are doing. Then when something goes wrong, they don't want to take the blame.
Here's the thing, you can report them-- but that's not going to stop them from signing up again and lying again. They don't have to pay to use it, the measures to check age are non-existent. I think what's most important is making sure your daughter and her friends are savvy about internet use.
If you watch the PBS Frontline show "Growing up Online" (you can watch it online, and i HIGHLY recommend it), there are many experts out there who agree that our kids-- these "digital natives," are actually very good at weeding out creepy people. They also discovered in their research that many of the "sexual" solicitations that kids received were not from pedophiles, but from people they knew who happened to be a certain age range older (2-3 years, so think of it as a 16 year old girl hearing something suggestive from an 18 year old boy). Of course there still are sexual predators out there, just like there are when your children are walking through the mall!
The other reason kids lie about their age on myspace is because it gives them more access to the site.
We are in the midst of a digital/cultral generation gap. Our kids are growing up with virtual 24/7 access to the internet/social networking-- it's our job to make sure they act responsibly when they are online, as well as offline. If you are concerned about the parents of these kids, and the kids--it may be best to forbid your daughter to hang out with them period.
Both of my children have facebook accounts as do myself and my husband. Social networks will not allow anyone under 18 to sign up for an account. So I sat down with both of my under age children and I set up their accounts. I changed their birth year so both could sign up. I gave them their user names and pass words. I also made my husband and myself their first friends. I have access to both accounts and review them daily. Their friends are also my friends so I see all of the postings. They have been strongly warned that they do not friend anyone that they do not know, period. Both of their accounts have been privacy protected in that no one can view anything on their site without being a friend. No pictures, no postings and not even who they are friends with can be viewed without them accepting you as a friend. And they don't befriend anyone they don't know.
It was my feeling that if you have a child you trust, then you give them a small bit of freedom with boundaries. They don't post anything that I don't see!
