C.M. asks from Bartlett, IL on September 19, 2012
Daughter Won't Eat Generic Food
I've never been one to fight a food battle. If you don't like something, I don't force you to eat it. We just find something else. My 11-year old daughter is NOT usually what we'd call a picky eater. She likes quite a big variety of foods.
Because money is super tight right now, I've had to change the way I grocery shop in order to make ends meet. I shop using coupons (and those websites that help you figure out how to use them) and also by buying cheaper, store brand foods. We have $100 a week to spend, no more. I've also stopped buying such a big variety. Instead of buying two different cereals a week, I buy one, and then I buy a different one the next week.
My daughter doesn't like any of the "new" foods that I'm buying. For example, I bought Aldi brand Frosted Flakes instead of the Kellog's Frosted Flakes. She says she doesn't like them! My husband and I ate them and we could NOT tell a difference. I know sometimes there is a difference between store brand and name brand but in this instance I couldn't tell. Same with oatmeal. The oatmeal tastes THE SAME!
I keep hearing complaints about "there's nothing to eat." Also she's complaining about the variety. Right now we have two differenct cereals in our pantry that she won't eat--store-brand Frosted Flakes and store brand Rice Krispies. Plus oatmeal. For snacks I have one variety of plain potato chips (inexpensive) versus Doritoes (expensive). I bought a different pasta sauce because I had a coupon for it. She wouldn't eat it. I thought it tasted different, but not bad.
I don't know what to do. I'm already at my wits end, trying to find cheap meals that we can eat and making our grocery list fit the budget. My husband and daughter eat like horses so I feel that there's never enough food! I'm buying what I can with coupons--which means I'm stuck buying the brand that's on sale. The price of meat and fruits/veggies has skyrocketed so that's hard too. I shop at the cheapest stores around, I even have all the prices listed so I know what's a good price and what isn't.
I'm tired of her opening the fridge and hanging around the pantry complaining that there isn't anything to eat. I've just started ignoring her, I figure if she's hungry enough she'll eat the damn fake Frosted Flakes! I know this is new territory for her because we've never made her eat something she didn't care for. We made her TRY new foods, but if she didn't like it then we didn't force her to eat it. She also did eat a big variety of foods so it wasn't really an issue. Until I realized she likes our regular brands!
P.S. I've tried involving her in grocery shopping and even budgeting the grocery list. It doesn't work. She wants the REAL Frosted Flakes or the Doritoes and if I show her that we can't afford them she just gets all stubborn and storms away saying "I don't want to DO this anymore."
I just don't know what to do. Grocery shopping is so hard now I just want to cry.
So What Happened?™
Thanks, I never connected how it might be about more than food. It's probably NOT about the taste, but just the fact that our pantry is full of different things than she's used to.
I'm normally not for deceiving, but in this case if it comforts her to think she has her old Frosted Flakes back then I'm willing to do it. I think there were a lot of changes lately and maybe that's just how she's dealing with it. We had to stop going out to eat at restaurants and stop going out for ice cream and movies. We rent movies and I try to do fun popcorn nights and trips to the park. But I agree, it's just not the same. She keeps asking to go to movies, or to go to restaurants and the answer is no, no, no. However, when I was young I NEVER asked to go to the movies or out to restaurants and then got upset when the answer was "no" so maybe she's a bit spoiled as well?
I think volunteering is a GREAT idea! Times are tough for us right now, but we have a nice place to live, we have food and she's still doing her cheerleading and gymnastics (because they are free). Perhaps she could also be thankful for what we have and others don't.
Featured Answers
N.P. answers from San Francisco on September 19, 2012
Buy some name brand cereals of her favorite kind, when the box gets low REFILL it with the generic version of the coveted name brand. She won't be able to tell the flipping difference and you'll save money.
The package is a mental mind game. I did the same thing with a big yellow Cheerios box. I'd buy the grocery store generic brand and just swap out the bag inside the box. SWHITCHO CHANGO MAGIC!
No one is the wiser.
Also when it comes down to it, I don't make special meals for my kid. I make dinner. If she doesn't eat it, she can try her luck at the next meal. Subterfuge and hunger will make her come around to the new selections eventually.
7 moms found this helpful
M.P. answers from Portland on September 19, 2012
I suggest that you stop trying to change her mind. Provide the food. If she eats it, fine. If not, fine. She'll eventually eat when she's hungry enough.
Don't discuss the reasons you're doing this. Don't talk about food at all. By focusing on getting her to accept different foods you're adding to the stress for all of you. Go back to making mealtime about something other than food.
5 moms found this helpful
M.R. answers from Detroit on September 19, 2012
Generic cereal is the BEST!
Dont take her with you anymore. She doesnt understand budgeting and will just stress you out more.
She will get over it eventually.
3 moms found this helpful
More Answers
A.J. answers from Williamsport on September 19, 2012
Dang! Woah. She really wont' eat it? Usually in my house for things the kids don't like, I just say, "fine, don't eat it" and they can wait until the next meal or snack I serve. I would just do that. It really doesn't taste much different, and she needs to learn to be a bit thicker skinned in a time of need for you.
I grew up on generics, coupons and budgeting, recycling for spare cash and getting everything second hand, etc. My parents would have had no tolerance at all for any spoiled belly aching about it. Not only did we sacrifice, but we donated, volunteered etc, and felt we had "a lot". She's acting very spoiled even though it's understandable if she's not used to the new regime, but she needs to get used to it and it will make her a more gracious and appreciative person in the long run when you get through this rough patch. I'd set her straight a bit and not let her bully you or whine so much about brand names. Don't sympathize when she storms off after not getting some REAL Frosted Flakes. You might want to cue up some starving children videos at that point (my mom would have). That behavior would upset me if it was my kids and I would not take it from them. I might be tempted to remove some other luxuries as well if they were feeling like victims.
Don't let her make you feel bad, mom. Make her grow. And good luck getting through this, I've been there many times and probably will be again...
7 moms found this helpful
N.P. answers from San Francisco on September 19, 2012
Buy some name brand cereals of her favorite kind, when the box gets low REFILL it with the generic version of the coveted name brand. She won't be able to tell the flipping difference and you'll save money.
The package is a mental mind game. I did the same thing with a big yellow Cheerios box. I'd buy the grocery store generic brand and just swap out the bag inside the box. SWHITCHO CHANGO MAGIC!
No one is the wiser.
Also when it comes down to it, I don't make special meals for my kid. I make dinner. If she doesn't eat it, she can try her luck at the next meal. Subterfuge and hunger will make her come around to the new selections eventually.
7 moms found this helpful
K.S. answers from Minneapolis on September 19, 2012
Very frustrating but I can relate to her point of view. For foods that I eat frequently I notice a big difference between brands (whether that is between a store brand and a name brand or between 2 name brands). It is usually a texture difference for me more than a taste difference. I especially notice with cereal, crackers, and chips.
The best way to save money (though it takes more time) is to stop buying all processed foods. Buy things like oatmeal from the bulk bins.
Start making more things from scratch.Get her involved in finding recipes for yummy quick breads, cookies, or healthy bars. Then she can help you bake and keep the pantry stocked.
Breakfast ideas: Bake healthy breakfast muffins in big batches, freeze them, and thaw/reheat each morning instead of expensive cereals. Or make a 9x11 egg bake on Sunday (1 dozen eggs $1.79, 1/2 pack of the $1 heat/serve sausages, grated potatoes, and spinach). Then reheat a chunk each morning.
Start shopping the local farmer's market on Saturday mornings and planning menus around fresh, in season (which means less expensive) ingredients. We eat vegetarian meals every other day now to save money. Asian food stores are also a great place to buy inexpensive fresh ingredients.
At 11, she can start thinking of ways to earn a few bucks around the neighborhood like weed gardens or walk someone's dog or pet sit. Tell her she can pay the difference for a few of her favorite snacks each week.
Good luck! Change is hard for everyone but especially kids.
5 moms found this helpful
M.P. answers from Portland on September 19, 2012
I suggest that you stop trying to change her mind. Provide the food. If she eats it, fine. If not, fine. She'll eventually eat when she's hungry enough.
Don't discuss the reasons you're doing this. Don't talk about food at all. By focusing on getting her to accept different foods you're adding to the stress for all of you. Go back to making mealtime about something other than food.
5 moms found this helpful
K.I. answers from Los Angeles on September 19, 2012
I do understand the other Mom's idea of faking her out...and that might be a way to go...?
And I totally get how some people can totally tell different brands, I myself am a TOTAL water snob...and my oldest child will only eat generic mac n' cheese, he actually thinks 'The Blue Box' is gross!!------>This was and still is a complete shocker for me, as a kid I HATED generic mac n' cheese (still do) and coveted 'The Blue Box'!
So I can sympathize with your daughter....however....
~If she were mine though we would be having a talk about how sometimes in life we have to improvise, adapt and overcome. And how money is tight for lots of people right now and how you have to do what you have to do to keep food on the table....and last but definitely NOT LEAST how some kids/people are WAY worse off and have REAL problems....I think at 11y/o she should be old enough to process this enough to stop giving you grief about it.
5 moms found this helpful
R.H. answers from Houston on September 20, 2012
Age 11? She would eat or not eat. No fight. Plain and simple.
5 moms found this helpful
D.. answers from Charlotte on September 20, 2012
I think I would tell her that it's Aldi brand cereal or oatmeal - take her pick.
She will start eating what you buy when she finally "gets" that you aren't going back to the more expensive brands.
I think that at some point, mom, that you're going to have to lay it on the line with her that this is hard on you and your husband too, and you are tired of her complaints. I know you're trying to be understanding, but there comes a point that you have to put your foot down.
Honestly, I think you'll be shooting yourself in the foot if you pretend to be buying the store brand cereals. If she finds out (sees a box or reads a receipt or someone tells her), she will just be livid with you.
Perhaps she needs to help with the cooking, since she doesn't want to look at the shopping list or budget for it. It's time for her to start learning her way around the kitchen anyway, isn't it?
Good luck, Mom. Try not to let it get you down...
D.
5 moms found this helpful
L.U. answers from Seattle on September 19, 2012
You could do what my mom did....and I NEVER KNEW!! Neither did any of my brothers.
I have 4 younger brothers. YOu can imagine how tight grocery shopping was for my mom every week! My brothers and I would complain that she was getting nasty milk (we liked 2% and she was buying 1%), that the crackers were gross, that the cereal was bad...blah blah blah. So, she faked us out! SHe would buy the stuff she normally buys and put it in the box of the good stuff!! She would pour the milk into the "good" container.
So, maybe one week you could buy the "good" stuff and then the weeks after put the store bought stuff in the containers. She will probably never know.
Laura
Funny! Everyone else said to do it too! BUT DON"T TELL HER!!!
4 moms found this helpful
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