Daughter Is Pulling Out Her Eyelashes

Updated on December 11, 2008
M.P. asks from San Antonio, TX
23 answers

My daughter just turned 7 years old. She was diagnosed with epilepsy in February and her seizures have pretty much come to a stop with her medication. She hasn't had any seizure activity for almost 4 months! I have been told by my mother and a few others that I should maybe think about getting her into see a psychiatrist. I have resisted because I don't want her to have to go to something that makes her unconfortable. I was made to go to one when my parents got divorced around her age and I hated every second of it! I also am afraid that they will diagnose her with something mental when I am not really sure I will believe them. Here's my question: last weekend, she was angry about something and later I noticed that she had pulled out her eyelashes...I KNOW! Gruesome right? I kept telling her that hurting herself like that is not how to handle her anger. My husband caught her pulling at her eyelashes last night when she was having trouble with her homework. Half of her eyelashes are gone on her right eye! I fear for her sanity at this point. I don't know what I should do. I tried looking for a counselor in our health insurance directory, but there are thousands and I don't know where to even begin looking for a good one! I DO NOT want to take her to the school counselor. If anyone has a good counselor or psychOLOGIST (no psychiatrists please) in the San Antonio area, please please let me know. I am looking for one that has dealt with or has knowledge of children with traumatic situations or illnesses; as she was hospitalized for her epilepsy and I believe has issues with the traumatic experiences related to her illness. She went through a lot of anger issues when she first started having seizures. She has since gotten better with her anger, but now she is doing this eyelash thing!
Thanks in advance for your help. Please refrain from responding if you have anything negative to say. I need help, not drama. Thank you! God bless all you amazing mothers out there. Happy Halloween!

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L.H.

answers from Killeen on

Hi M.,,,,
good news this may be caused by her epilepsy meds talk to that docter first and see what they say ,,,i take the same kinds of meds you never know about

the side effects that they will bring on good luck L.

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T.S.

answers from Houston on

Actually, it is Trichotillomania. It is actually more common than you may think, especially in children. You can start with a psychologist who will try to train her brain to focus on other things. This route, however, is a long shot and you are very lucky if it does work. The only treatments that actually work are treatment centers; you can go to www.trich.org to find out more, and chinese medicine, otherwise known as acupuncture. The acupuncture is the only thing that helped me with trich and got me to stop pulling completely and I am now 20 years older and still don't pull any longer. Good luck! I know it is frustrating; just remember that your daughter is frustrated too and doesn't know what or why this is happening to her.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.D.

answers from San Antonio on

My daughter is now 16. During 6th grade, she starting pulling her eyelashes and brows. It was mainly when reading. I went and read several posts about trichillitomania and they scared me to death becasue they said this could lead to cutting, etc. We never took her to a counselor but talked with her, used some of the tips suggested-she made her one squeeze toys with heavy duty balloons and flour-even wound up selling them to her friends! It took over a year but she has not done anything like that since that time and was even in a local pagaent this year! Just work with her. We also took her to the mall and had them show her how to draw in eyebrows to look natural.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.

answers from San Antonio on

I would actually suggest you talk to her neurologist. A psycologist is likely to tell you this is a behavioral issue, not medical. It may be due to a chemical imbalance and a medical doctor is the person to discuss this issue with.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Hey M. -
It's M. from church - small world isn't it. Actually I do have something that might help you out here. Jessica is seeing a counselor right now for some anxiety issues she has. I have been taking her to the Child Guidance Center of San Antonio off of Babcock. They seem really good there and she is happy to be going and it is helping. Their phone # is ###-###-####. They start you off with a counselor and only move on up from there if they feel it is absolutely necessary. In the meantime, please know that we will be praying for Leahness, you and Chris. We miss seeing you guys. If you don't already have plans, maybe you guys can come by for the Trunk or Treat on Friday. Take care and God bless -
M.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.W.

answers from San Antonio on

My daughter has been pulling her eyelashes and eyebrows since she was 7. She is now 17. Do what you can through whoever you can to help her. Psychologist, psychiatrist, dermatologist...do whatever you have to because her self image will suffer due to this problem. Also look into Trichotillimania (I may not have spelled that right). I took my daughter just yesterday to a psychiatrist for depression and if I would have been more open 10 years ago to all the many things our kids can go through I might have been able to help her sooner. She is an amazing and beautiful young woman and she plans to be a doctor and I know she will succeed but I could have helped her avoid some of the hurt she has gone through up til now if I would have been open to treatments out there for kids who may have trouble coping with issues in their lives. Please feel free to call me I would love to talk to you. My name is D. and my number is ###-###-####. I'm 40 y/o and I've been married for 13 years to a great man. I have 4 children.

1 mom found this helpful
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H.F.

answers from San Angelo on

Well I am glad you found out that it is not her fault and that she has Trichotillomania. It is imperative that you find someone who has dealt with this disorder before...now you can go through that list of doctors asking that particular question. It is important to get her treatment right away because since the disorder has physical signs, it can impact her social relationships in the future (bald patches on her head or arms and no eyelashes or eyebrows. Anyway, give her lots of love and try to help her find other ways of dealing with stress like deep breathing or clenching her fists...remind her every time you see her pulling...gently and kindly of course...you will both be in my prayers.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from Austin on

Hi M.,

Congrats on your daughter being sz free for 4 months. I have a daughter with ep. She is 17 and uncontrolled sz. Have you spoke to her neuro or epileptologist about her pulling out her lashes? Is she aware that she is doing it? What I'm trying to say is that with partials she could be doing some automations.
I had my daughter in counceling for her ep cuz she was having problems with s/e of meds, loads of sz, hospital stays, er visits, and just trying to adjust to having ep. I found that if you find a coucelor that has some experience with ep or with children with illnesses, then that is your best bet. My daughters councelor was wonderful, she's here in Austin. I felt the same as you, don't want them doing something that will make them more uncomfortable than they are already. What I did was let my daughter know that she could try a few sessions and see how she felt about it, well, she was with that councelor for over a year and it did her wonders.
If you have any other questions, you can email me ____@____.com

T.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Houston on

I took Topamax, a anti seizure drug that can also be used to prevent migraines. It made my hair fall out. Are you sure she pulled them out or did they come out more easily because of the meds? The meds also made me crazy!! They did a great job preventing headaches but I couldn't handle all the side effects. I'd rather have head aches. Look into side effects of the meds. I would talk to your daughter, maybe she would like someone to talk to about her medical condition so that she can express and learn about herself better.

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L.W.

answers from Houston on

Have you talked with your family doctor? Imagine he could refer you to specialist.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

Perhaps you can do a search on people pulling there hair out and eyelashes. I think its stress related. I have heard of this before, not with all the other situations though. Maybe talk to your daughter about a doctor she can go talk to that will help. Let her go and ask her how it was. I am with you dont force her to continue to go if she hates it. It might be a matter of just finding the right one. Also it might be a matter of finding a better or different med for her. So sorry your daughter is having a tough time. Thats great she hasnt had an episode with the meds. Best of luck.

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L.G.

answers from Houston on

I did this FOR YEARS. Always at night, taking tests, studying. Hated it. I started in college, of course my eyelashes were super long and thick so it was very obvious.
I was and am completely normal, never had a traumatic experience or anything to trigger this behavior. So you shouldn't worry that your daughter won't lead a normal life or anything like that. I mean, I was a college grad making 6 figures and I was still doing the eyelash pulling! It was how I dealt with anxiety, just like nail biting.

I went to a psychologist years ago, she put me on Anfranil (sp.?). I am sure there are better meds now, I hated the side effects. She also tried to get me to meditate a few times a day. I can't say I was committed so I quit. Not smart but I was not seeing a change.

In Houston, we have Texas Children's Hospital which is the best of the best. Do you have anything similar in San Antonio? Talk to your pediatrician for a referral and see if she knows anyone first hand. That's your step one.

I did it for nearly 20 years (sorry to say that but remember, I really never sought out help). I finally stopped when I stopped working to be a SAHM so it probably was the stress and anxiety. Just telling you my story so you don't fear that your girl will not live a normal life. Like others said, this is very common and I believe doctor's have come a long way in regards to treatment for this behavior.

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P.C.

answers from College Station on

Hi M....my heart goes out to you. It is so difficult when our children or loved ones are ill. A good friend of mine had epilepsy though high school.

It does sound like the meds could be part of the issue as well as they areas of the brain that are stimulating the anger response.

I raised five daughters utilizing a lot of natural remedies and primiarly alternative medicine. Not sure what your background or experience may be but we know how that everything is comprised of energy. The body is electromagnetic in nature. Our thoughts, feelings and emotions have a cumulative affect on the body, and vice versa. Stress is one of the hardest things affecting all of those areas.

Utilizing energetic therapies you can accomplish in a few sessions what can take months or more to accomplish with talking therapy alone.

When the body's energy system is balanced, many functions return to normal rather quickly. The body is designed to heal itself given the proper and necessary elements.

It is totally private and non-invasive. You could try a treatment for your daughter and evaluate the effect you observe in her demeanor and over-all well being.

If you would like to read more about the options and the process, please visit www.focusedenergyhealing.com There's a video on there from a local news broadcast about energetic healing and therapies. YOu can also read people's personal experiences. This particular person is someone I have known for many years and he has helped our family tremendously.

It works on the energy system in a way that is similar to accupunture but it does not use needles.

If you have any questions or would like further insight please let me know.

Many blessings to you and yours M.!

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W.L.

answers from Houston on

Hi M.,
I can imagine how concerned you are for your daughter. Seven is quite young to have any "disorders" -- I have a seven-year-old too. I also have personal experience. When I was in 6th grade I remember first being fascinated with my eyelashes, tugging on them, and pulling them out. My family life may or may not have been a cause of the "new hobby", but I definitely could recognize the strong urge, or compulsion. My eyelashes were were messed up through 8th grade.

At that age I became aware of make-up and mascara, girly stuff, and that my eyes were weird looking with no lashes. The new awareness really helped me overcome my compulsion. It was not easy when my lashes were growing -- very itchy!

I wish you the best and success in finding the solution for your family. Merry Christmas!!

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K.T.

answers from Houston on

I would try to find a child therapist in your area. My children both go to a therapist, and they fight over who gets to go first!! They go for ADHD and Tourette's, so a therapist helps them to work through play to help them with feelings of shortcomings, what bothers them, etc. You just need to find someone they like. After starting with her, we found out other kids use her. If you don't know anyone who uses a child therapist, (most don't talk about our kids going), you could start by calling child psychiatrists in your town to see if they refer to someone in particular.
Good luck

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M.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi M., I am so sorry that you & your daughter are going through this. I do not have any experience with this illness but have a couple of recommendations to find a doctor. First, ask her pediatrician who they would recommend, including they type of doctor. I understand your fear of being pushed into behavior controlling medicine but if your pediatrician thinks there is more benefit to seeing a psychologist you should consider it. You are not obligated to follow any course of treatment they recommend and if you don't agree with their diagnosis you should get a second or even third opinion since you know your child better than anyone. Another option is to look at your insurance website for docs in your plan. Since there are so many, start with the docs closest to you and google them by name online (i.e. Dr. John Doe San Antonio Texas). In addition to finding their personal websites you should find any articles that have been published by them or about them. It will take some time and you might have to muddle through a bunch of sites to find real info but it will be worth it. Goodluck and God Bless you and your family.

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B.P.

answers from Houston on

Oh my goodness! I have no idea what to tell you do, but I just said a prayer for your daughter. I hope you find someone, please let us know what you find out.

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

It sounds to me like your daughter is stressed and because she doesn't yet have the ability to deal with life she is showing it by pulling her eyelashes out. There is usually something that makes her feel secure. When my six year old son starts to show signs of stress I usually just need to stop and spend quality time with him. He just needs to know that he is okay. You might try spending time with her. You don't have to talk about anything as much as let her know she is okay. As she feels safe she will open up and talk to you about what is going on.

I am just starting a book called "Raising Resilient Children". I hope it is about helping my son be secure in himself so that he can handle life better. They are so young and don't yet have the coping mechanisms to handle everything. I will let you know what I find out from the book.

Give her a little extra TLC and good luck!

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C.N.

answers from Houston on

Some children (and adults) do this as a way to relieve stress. It is not that uncommon, but it is something your child's doctor should know about. If you want to learn more about how to deal with this, Google trichotillomania. Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

I don't think what she has a mental disorder. It does sound like triocellonemia (sp?) it is a disorder when you pull your hair out. It happens when under stress or you are concentrating on something. I would ask the Dr. about that and I would definitialy look into it. I don't think there is meds. for it but I am not sure. I would take her to a counsler type perosn that is a good one...my son loved his lady that we went too. Some are so much fun.,..just have to find the right one for your daughter. Hope that helps.

A.W.

answers from Houston on

1st, bless you & your daughter. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to see your child go through this. I'm glad that she's been without seizures for a while. Great progress! Now on to the eyelash thing. You need to get her to a psychiatrist. And the reason is that she may have what Sara (previous poster) mentioned. I've seen a 20/20 episode about Trich & it is a very real disorder & something where you would want to get treatment as soon as possible before it gets worse. A girl that works with my sister has it & she has to wear hair pieces because part of her head is bald from pulling. I know it sounds strange but it is a serious issue for the people who have it. If you get treatment for her now, hopefully you can prevent it from getting worse (moving to her eyebrows or the hair on her head) or even stop it all together. Go to the Trich website or ask her pediatrician's office for a reference to a child psychiatrist. Best wishes to you both!

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M.K.

answers from Houston on

I saw a show on one of those Dateline shows, etc. They had a story about girls who had this disorder where they pulled their hair out, I remember one of them started with pulling her eyelashes out. Maybe you could research it on the internet. Or, maybe your peditrician can help you. Good Luck

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E.S.

answers from Houston on

First, I'd like to tell you that there is an actual name for what your daughter is doing with her eyelashes. If it is the same thing my huband has, it is called Trichotillomania. This is compulsive pulling or twisting of hair until it falls out or breaks off. My huband's usual spot of choice is his eyebrows, and he doesn't even know he is doing it. When he is stressed about something, he starts pulling. If I am not there to notice what he is doing, he will notice when he looks in the mirror and sees a bald spot. Let me also say that my husband is no "freak." He is a successful person with a degree and lives a very normal life. I think your fears about having your daughter "diagnosed with something mental" are normal, but maybe you can think of it from another perspective. I don't consider my husband's compulsion to pull out his eyebrows a real problem. It is just a symptom that actually helps to thell him there is something else going on that he needs to deal with. Also, just because you have had a bad experience with therapy, that doesn't automatically mean your daughter will. I have seen seveal therapists myself over 30 years at various times. They have not always been a great help, but one thing you might tell your daughter is that it is ok to find someone new if she doesn't feel comfortable with the person you end up choosing. You will know if they are really helping her, and if the aren't, don't give up. Keep looking until you find someone she "clicks" with. I can tell you love your daughter, and you just want to help her. Start slowly and you'll get there. I don't live in San Antonio, so I can't help with a name, but I can tell you that there are epilepsy support groups in that area as well as psychologists. My cousin's son has epilepsy, and she was able to find other moms online to chat with and meet in person. Maybe there is also a Trich support group. Good luck to you and God bless.

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