Grandmother Seeking Advice

Updated on March 01, 2008
S.D. asks from Kingston, GA
24 answers

My 12 year old granddaughter pulls out her eyelashes. We have done everything we could to stop her. What would make her do this. If she keeps it up will they stop coming back? She has long lashes and says they get in her way, they are not that long.

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J.G.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi,

I use to do the same thing when I was younger and it drove my mom crazy. I'm now 45 and I still pull them sometime, but YES they do grow back.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Atlanta on

My oldest daughter started little habits like that about the same age (pulling at eyelashes, tearing off split ends of her hair) and I did not know what to do. I finally took her to a salon where a friend works and they referred her to a sweet stylist who was young enough for the tweens and teens to look up to (and listen to.) I spoke with the stylist before hand about the issues but not in front of my daughter. She talked with her as she styled her hair and also gave her great advice about washing her face and other upkeep ideas....all the while making my daughter feel like a sophisticated grown-up. It did the trick!

p.s. At the time, my daughter was experiencing some peer anxiety on her cheerleading squad. She would not go to a school counselor or any other counselor. I was very thankful she was able to express herself with a grown up I trusted.

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Y.W.

answers from Charleston on

S., sorry to say, I am 37 and have been pulling out my lashes as well!! I wear contacts and used to have problems with lashes getting into my eyes and having to remove the contacts because of it. Anyone that wears contacts knows what a pain that is. I have been doing it for at least 2 years now. My fiance always points out that I don't have many, and he has really long lashes. I want him to pull his as well. They do grow back. Bad habit I guess. Wish you well

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L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

There is an article about this on Wikipedia.org. It is called Trichotillomania. I suggest you research this as well as call her pediatrician, and give her lots of love and support and work to minimize stress in her life. She is not doing it on purpose. Good luck.

2 moms found this helpful

K.O.

answers from Charleston on

Hi. Your granddaughter may have trichotillomania. It is an impulse disorder causing people to pull out eyelashes, hair from the scalp, or eyebrows. They have a website with more information on the topic- www.trich.org. (http://www.trich.org.) Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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A.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

It might be some sort of insecurity at school. I had problem like that when I was in school and it was because I was insecure and felt alone. It was a way to get out my fustration. Just love her and let her know how special she is and try to see if she is hurting inside or not, I will pray for her, and I turned out ok, and yes they do grow back:)

1 mom found this helpful
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F.C.

answers from Charleston on

Hi S.,

I saw a talk show that can relate to this issue. It was about kids with disorders called o.d.d (I think), one of the stories was of a girl who pulled her hair until bold, every time she was nervous or anxious she react like this. I know it may sound silly but u should take her to a doctor and maybe they could be more helpful.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.L.

answers from Atlanta on

Oh my dear... have you quietly spoken to the child about any fears or worries she might have? I'd get the little girl alone and talk to her with all the love in your voice that you can muster. BE there for her -- maybe she wants someone to talk to.

Otherwise, I would recommend that your granddaughter's family go to counseling, or at least the child should have counseling alone -- with a child psychologist (there are good ones in the Atlanta area, Roswell, etc.) A friend's daughter in Florida had a similar problem. She pulled her hair out to the point that she was bald in huge patches around her head. It was a way to cope with stress and the family was successful in helping the child to stop the behavior once they all went to counseling sessions. It's a more common problem than you'd realize.

LATER... I consulted with Angie Claussen, PhD in child development. Here is her response:
Without knowing more, I would suggest that the child be evaluated. It could be a sign of a deeper problem, anxiety or obsession. Of course it could also be just one of those weird things kids do, and then do a lot because they get attention and/or want to exercise control over their own body and fate. Teens get really weird ideas in their head sometimes that seem perfectly normal to them.
But unless it's very clear that the child is very healthy and well adjusted in all other aspects, it'd be safer to have her checked out.
Angie

-----Original Message-----
From: Latham, B. (CDC/CCHP/NCCDPHP)
Sent: Tuesday, February 26, 2008 11:27 AM
To: Claussen, Angelika (CDC/CCHP/NCBDDD)
Subject: I wanted you to see this: Grandmother seeking advice

B. L <____@____.com> sent you the following information from Mamasource.

Angela... what would you tell this grandmother?

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R.S.

answers from Athens on

Hi S.. There is a condition called TRICHOTILLOMANIA and it sounds like this may be what your granddaughter is experiencing. An excerpt from wikopedia:

"Trichotillomania (TTM), or "trich" as it is commonly known, is an impulse control disorder characterized by the repeated urge to pull out scalp hair, eyelashes, facial hair, nose hair, pubic hair, eyebrows or other body hair, sometimes resulting in noticeable bald patches. Trichotillomania is classified in the DSM-IV as an impulse control disorder..."

also from the same page:

"TTM seems to strike most frequently in the pre- or early adolescent years. The typical first-time hair puller is 12 years old."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania

I would suggest getting her in to see a pyschologist for this and exploring behavorial modification and possibly medication, if the problem persists.

Good luck with everything.

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

I see that alot of agreed on the same dignoses. But I say do not take these as dignoses.I don't confirm or deny that her signs may be that of what pposets said but I think you should take her to her doctor and go from there.I would not stress yourself over it just yet or go in your grand daughters doctors office saying you think it's what others think it might be.Get this checked out and please let us all know what happens.I wish you luck.

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A.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I have to admit I did the same thing when I was younger. I did it mainly when I was nervous and it was a habit. I even find myself doing it today when I'm in stressful situations.

Don't worry, her eyelashes will grow back. In fact, my eyelashes grew back longer and thicker.

My mom would give me a barbie doll to tug at instead of my eyelashes. I would just talk to your granddaughter to find out if she's upset or nervous about anything. Sometimes talking can help.

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C.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Have you tried an eyelash curler? Maybe this will keep the eyelashes out of her eyes.

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi S.,

There is no known cure for Trichotillomania from the medical community. The natural community would say that there probably is, but there are also things that exacerbate it.

First, she needs good nutrition. Remove the processed foods from her diet and get her on a good absorbable multi-vitamin. You also need to get the chemicals out of the house and off her body. Diseases like this come from the way the brain processes information. The outside stimuli of chemicals that are neuro-toxins make these issues worse. (Pledge, Windex, laundry detergents, shampoos, soaps, etc, anything at Walmart...)There may even be a metallic toxicity in her body.

I would suggest getting her to a Naturopath immediately for specific help and also to an upper cervical chiropractor. Not just any chiropractor can help with a situation this serious. You need a specialist.

I've dealt with Autism, Asperger's, ADHD, OCD, SPD, and the like before and there are ways to alleviate symptoms. If you would like more information please ask, I'll be glad to help.

regards,

M.

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A.B.

answers from Spartanburg on

S.,

Is there any kind of emotional stress going on in her life? A family member of mine was doing this as well around the same age and no her eye lashes did not grow back after months and months of doing this. She had to have professional help to get to the bottom of the problem. Lena was having some emotional problems related to her parents being gone alot. don't know much about your grand daughter's siuation but this definitely needs to be checked into more by her pediatrician.

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D.D.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm thinking you should take her to a psychiatrist. It could be signs of obsessive compulsive disorder or a condition where people pull out their hair. It may not be either of these, but it's worth at least calling someone. Brian Thomas and Lisa Huber are located on Piedmont Road in Buckhead - they are both very good child psychiatrists. You could always just discuss it with them over the phone and see if they feel she should be brought in for an evaluation. Good luck! D. D

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L.O.

answers from Charleston on

I had a friend in high school who suffered from a disorder that caused her to do this. It eventually lead to her pulling out hair as well. It is a true disorder and she needs to see her pediatrician about it.

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I'd have said exactly what Christ S. said. Check out the websites. Good luck.

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S.M.

answers from Spartanburg on

I have read the other posts and think this is a nervous reaction also. Take her to a doctor so that she can be properly dianosed and treated. Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Savannah on

My mother has done this for most of her life. She would give us the excuse that they "itched" or bothered her, but her doctor said that it had to do with her way of dealing with nerves and anxiety. When they treated her with anti-anxiety medication, she stopped pulling them out and some did grow back. But, since she has stopped the medication, she started pulling out her eyebrow hairs as well. Maybe you can take her to the doctor to see if she is dealing with some anxieties, etc. before it gets to that point.

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T.W.

answers from Florence on

Trim them with a pair of grooming scissors. Because they won't grow back after so long of pulling them out.I know a lady who had that problem as a child and she has on eye lashes now. Good Luck.

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C.S.

answers from Atlanta on

It is called trichotillomania. There are some websites about it that will give you more information. There is no "cure". Other than behavior modification techniques and sometimes antidepressants, she may struggle with this for quite some time. It has nothing to do with them getting in her way. Pulling out her lashes is a way to deal with tension just like people bite their nails. Do not shame her or nag her about it. It won't help. Refer her to one of the websites (such as www.trich.org) so she can learn about it, that she isn't alone, and there are support group blogs there too.

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L.Y.

answers from Atlanta on

I knew someone with this problem a few years back. It is a condition that needs medical and psychological help. It can be an obsessive compulsive disorder. I would suggest that you get her into see a doc soon. The girl that I know who had the problem never got most of her eye lashes back so you want to try and get her help before the problems gets too serious. Try not to react to her behavior until you can talk to a dr. Putting pressure on her may cause the behavior to increase. Good luck!!!

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L.J.

answers from Atlanta on

I knew a young woman in her 20's who did not have eyelashes. She told me that as a child she had a nervous habit of pulling them out and eventually they didn't grow back. She said that she wished that she had gotten counseling as a child so that she would have eyelashes! So my advice is take her or encourage her parents to get her counseling.

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D.P.

answers from Atlanta on

Absolutely -- talk to her pediatrician! Sounds like OCD.

I knew a mom who's son was doing the same thing. (When asked why, he said because he liked the "pop" when he bit on the follicle.) Once on meds, he stopped and seemed a generally more happy child.

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