Dad Wants to Take Daughter into the Bathroom with Him When He Pees

Updated on January 16, 2018
S.A. asks from Pittsburgh, PA
15 answers

I know this might be strange but I am interested in others opinions on this subject. The father of my daughter is alittle on the strange side and over protective with her and he feels that when he comes over to visit he must control every situtation that happens. She is almost 2 and 1/2 and can walk and has her own room with toys to play with at anytime. I found him in the dark going to the bathroom and making my daughter stand next to him as he goes and I freaked out. I am not comfortable with that situation and I explained to him no more bathroom time. If he has to go explain to our daughter that "Daddy had to go to the bathroom and will be right back".He uses the bathroom more in one hour than I do in a day. Now I find out that when he took her to his Moms she wouldnt stay with his Mom while he went to the bathroom so he took her with him. That I kind of understand, but while I am in the house while he visits,he must use me as a resource and ask me to watch her while he goes. Is that reasonable? Any other suggestions you could provide would be greatly appreciated.

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A.M.

answers from Erie on

S.,
That isnt right. Keep an eye on her,. and HIM. Because for a man to take a 2 yr old in to the bath room with him, And he wants too. Something isnt right.! I mean keep an eye on her, for her safety, changes in her mood,crying things that she doesnt normal do...
Hope I helped.
A.,
http://workathomeunited.com/bell04

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L.S.

answers from Lancaster on

I agree with everyone here that this is unacceptable behavior by an adult. There is absolutely no reason for her to go into the bathroom with him, especially while at your home and while you are there no less. In the dark? I hope this is because he has a conscious and doesn't want her to see "it". I would ask him about it and see what he reasoning is although I can't think of anything that would make it right. If he doesn't want to stop taking her in the bathroom with him then I suggest you contact an attorney and try to keep him away from her because that is not a good situation.

Best of luck to you and your little one.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.J.

answers from Sharon on

That's strange...have you asked him why he's doing it???
My husband never took any of our children to the bathroom even when potty training them.If he had to go and they had to go,he'd take them in let them us their potty chair than he'd make them leave........
I said ask him why and see what he says.This is odd.
Good luck to you

1 mom found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

I agree with you. That is a little strange, my hubby and I have 3 girls and he never allowed them in the bathroom with him. The only reason I allowed them with me is I used it as a teaching time for potty trianing. My gilrs are now 7, 5 and 4 and I tell them I need privacy, they may wait outside the door but I don't allow them inside anymore.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

S.,
I don't want to pull out the "jump to conclusions"mat just yet--but this sounds very strange to me. Personally, I hope that ALL of his visitation is at your house with you present. I would NEVER allow her to go with him to the bathroom! And why in the dark? This is odd behavior for any man. I understand that if he has her alone he may not want her out of his sight (premature issue probably makes him overprotective) but gee--how long does it take to pee?!
So--yes--I agree with you--your house--your rules. No exceptions.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

i find the whole thing completely unacceptable. there is absolutely no reason that he has to have the little one with him while he uses the bathroom! we have 5 kids and my husband never once took any of them in there with him.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I, like the others, find this totally unacceptable! There is no need to for a grown man to take his daughter to the bathroom with him while he tinkles. He could have her stand outside the closed door (after explaining to her that daddy has to pee) and have her count or keep talking to him. That way he knows she is okay if this is a overprotection issue.

I find it strange that he has to do this in the dark. Please, don't let him do this anymore! I have two daughter's and I have never had my husband do this.

I find the whole situation crazy and dangerous!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

Yes, very strange. I wouldn't let him take her into the bathroom with him anymore. I take my daughter with me, but we're potty training her. I do it as a teaching experience, however my husband doesn't take her with him. As a matter of fact when the kids are in the tub if he has to go he goes to the bathroom upstairs because he doesn't feel comfortable going in front of our daughter. My daughetr is two and I have a ten month old son. I am home with my children all day and I don't take them with me when I use the bathroom. I just make sure there isn't anything they can get into in the 2 minutes it takes me to pee. I take my daughter with me only when my husband is home, or if the baby is napping. If your daughter is 2.5 then she is fully capable of staying by herself nearby for a few minutes. This is very strange to me and I would definately sound the mommy alarm and put a stop to it right away, no if's and or but's about it.

1 mom found this helpful
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N.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi Sherrie
Ok I can understand the "stranger" via his mom (grandmother) issue while visiting with her. There is NO reason why a little girl needs to go into the bathroom with her father...sorry but I find it sick. IF she was freaked out by him excusing himself, have her wait outside the door for him, NOT go into the bathroom and stand right next to him. What really threw me was he did it while YOU were home and he was at your house.....that makes NO sense to me.
He uses the bathroom frequently...hmmm, that too is strange. THIS IS YOUR CHILD....YOUR HOUSE, YOUR RULES.
Over protective teetering on abusive. Sorry this sounds harsh but this is weird.
Sorry.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.R.

answers from Allentown on

This is not acceptable. EVen if it is her dad. My daughter's father never took her in the bathroom nor did any other male figure in her life. If he is worried about her getting hurt while he is in the bathroom, he should ask her to wait outside of the door and hum until he is done. That way he knows she is safe and she is NOT in the bathroom with him. I woudl definitley not let this continue. It just does not seem right. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.J.

answers from Harrisburg on

OMG...you are right on.....this is not acceptable! I have never heard of this happening......He should not be taking her to the bathroon with him....I agree with the closing the door and having him and her count with the door shut and such.....wow

1 mom found this helpful

L.S.

answers from Pensacola on

You have ever reason to be concerned with this situation! We as mother's have to trust our "gut feeling" when something doesn't appear right. We have every right to protect our children from every uncomfortable situation that arises in their dear little years! Never feel bad for speaking your mind when a situation like those arises. A mother's gotta do what a mother's gotta do even if we need to set other family members (her Dad) straight! Take Care! L.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Rapid City on

Nothing wrong with that. Families should do everything together, and be nude together.

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D.W.

answers from San Francisco on

ewwwwww stop this now. Girl is not going to no how to set internal personal boundaries. He is teaching her this at a young age. This is freaking me out. This is totally inappropriate.

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H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My husband and I are pretty open with our kids and they often wander into the bathroom when one of us is going (son and daughter in any combination of visiting myself or husband). But we've never required that they come with us - except when in a public restroom when you do need to be concerned about safety and can't just leave them. It's definitely weird that he feels the need to make a 2 year old go with him and in the dark. Most 2 year olds should be just fine in a child proofed room for 2 minutes while an adult pees. Tell him to go alone and leave the door open so he can hear/talk to her while he's gone and that should be assurrance enough that she's ok.

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