Crying at Daycare Drop-off

Hi A.,

My oldest had to be in daycare from 6 weeks old until he started kindergarten. And between the ages of 1 1/2 and 3 yrs old he had periods where he would cry at drop off. It broke my heart; he had always been in daycare and still had the same issue from time to time. If he was truly unhappy there or was being mistreated he would have other behavior issues and wouldn't talk happily about his day. It may seem like it takes forever, but this phase will pass. As they all seem to at some point. :) Good luck!

I read Liv's response before I wrote mine as not to give you all the same advice. I have been in childcare my whole life and we have had lots of kids that cry at drop off. It is a way to make the parents feel guilty for leaving them. We were very honest with the parents. There were times that we had to tell parents that their children cried most of the day. Also we would have parents call 10 mins after drop off to make sure their little one wasn't crying. As a childcare provider you get tired of listening to a child cry all day and so I would bet she is telling you the truth, but as a parent you also have to believe what is in your heart. I am also a mother and you have to do what you feel is right in your heart. Good luck.

Hi A.,

I bet it's so hard dropping your child off, let alone when he is crying! I bet it does only last a few minutes. I am doing childcare also and when the little boy I'm watching started, he'd be very quiet for the 1st hour or so. He never cried though..... they met me twice before they actually dropped off. Can she send you a text picture or text...even a call when he calms down~ this will ease your mind a little.

One of my friends left her little boy here a few times....I was his 1st care provider & she was so anxious about it. I sent her a text with a picture every 30 mins or so. She loved it.

This will pass I'm sure :) Pretty soon he'll be running in!

~V.

We kept our 2-year old at home until about three months ago, when we were left in a situation needing day care. Our son cried for about 2 weeks because he had never been anywhere but home. Plus, he's an only child right now, so the whole situation was very foreign to him. And you're right, it is heartbreaking to leave them crying. But our sitter assured me that he'd only cry for a few minutes and then he'd start playing. I wondered the same thing...is she telling me the truth? I had to accept that she was telling me the truth because we trusted her enough to leave our son in her care, so I decided to try not to think negative thoughts.

Can you call often to check up on him? For the first month or so, I used to call every hour and his sitter was very patient with me calling so often. Now, he walks right in. He even gets excited when we're walking to the door on some days. Your son will adjust. But, he'll probably still have his moments. Today was the first time that my son cried after me. He kept wanting to hug and kiss me and I had to put him down. It was hard to walk away, but I called her as soon as I got to work and she told me he was just fine. ...It's probably actually more difficult for us than it is for them. =)

Good Luck with everything. Hope it works out!

Hi A.!

I am a daycare provider and I have had many children that do this and some that still "put on a show" every now and then. It truly is harder on the parent than the child. Most of the time it is a guilt thing and by the time the parents reach there car the child has stopped and moved on. Being a child care provider...I would be honest with you if your child was truly unhappy. After awhile I wouldn't want a child in my care if they were crying all day because it is h*** o* us as well as the other children in our care. In the beginning it is understandable though...they are going through tough changes. Especially part time...I am not sure what days your child attends but if there is a huge gap between the next time they come that can make a big difference too for instance Mon-Wed and then they are home for 4 days before they go back. Some children also have a harder time with change and take a little longer to adjust. I truly would trust your provider if she is telling you he is fine as long as you trust her. That is so awesome that when you pick him up he is happy...that should tell you something. Another thing I would suggest: when you drop off...please do so with a happy face and excitement...they feed off of there parents and if you seem reluctant to leave him or sad he is going to play on that. Also, a quick drop off...don't stand around and try to get him to stop before you leave...that just makes it harder on him. Walk in, hug and kiss and say I love you and I will be back soon and walk out the door. I have been in your situation in the past as my first 2 children were in daycare as well so I do know both sides and I know it is heart breaking but I am sure he is in great hands. It will get easier. Smile!

M.