Correcting My 19 Month Old Son

as a mother of 6 kids - you had better step up and get control now! They get much more defiant at 12 - 13 years old, so if you don't have control now, you will not have control then.
What you do NOT want is for them to turn their anger at being corrected to you, but to be sorry for what they did. Each child is different so you have to taylor the punishment to fit the infraction and the child.
Have consequences; if you do this, then this will happen (if you throw that ball at the TV again, I will take the ball away from you)
Mean what you say also. (if you don't stop screeming in the car, I will stop and put you outside)
Give them choices; you may have this or this (for a snack, you may have apple slices or a banana) let them begin learning to make wise decisions.
Sometime, you have to increase the consequences; 2 of my kids still were extremely stubborn and we had battles - spanking became necessary - but after the first time, rarely had to go there again. And I always spanked the butt with deliberate swats (listen for a change in their crying - and they will cry - there is a difference between "I'm mad at you for correcting me" to "I am sorry I did not listen") also not when I was so mad - you NEVER want to lose control of your own actions either (and some kids can push those buttons easier than others!)Keep your sense of humor! it is ok to put yourself in a "time out" if you are getting too frustrated.
I had a BIG flat wooden paddle that I usually just had to pop the counter with to get their attention; if the child thinks you mean business, they will respond. Kids live up to their expectations - but need firm boundaries that they will CONSTANTLY test. Stay strong!

Morning L.;
O.K. I'm an old man that believes in a little swat to the butt can do wonders for "behavior"!
Just enough to get his attention>>it has to sting!!
It worked on my two boys, they both grew up to be great boys,
one a diamond importer and one an owner of his own insurance agency!
B. C.

Another great book that worked wonders for us is Parenting the Strong Willed Child. You can find it reasonably cheap on Amazon.com. I agree that it is important to be consistent. I disagree that time out don't work, I think it really depends on the individual child. I worked as a preschool teacher in the 0-18 month room and we did use time out and they did work for some kids.

Hang in there and stand your ground, eventually you will get the point across that no means no!

Good luck!

Hello,

I don't know if it'll work with your son, but here what we do :

I had this problem with my 22 month old. We have a rule at home : we say "no" twice (we explain why we said "no") and if after that she still doesn't listen to us, she goes to "time out". Of course, at 19 months, she didn't stay at one particular place. So I would put her in her bedroom telling her why. Now, when she tests me or something, I tell her "go to your room" and she goes (not silently though) and is mad at me but then she gets distracted by her toys and comes back to us 5 minutes later, like nothing happened.

It's not easy = it's a lot of "back and forth", it's tiring because we have to repeat several times, explain, get frustrated etc... but it's working pretty good.

Good luck.

Cheers

He doesn't listen because there are no immediate consequences that hurt him. I recommend To Train Up A Child by Michael Pearl (nogreaterjoy.ORG). He will teach you how to train your children especially through spanking. Even if you don't agree with everything he teaches, he's practical and will show you where you are failing. It's an eye opener.

At 19 months, your son is still too young to be able to stop himself from doing whatever it is he wants to do. He probably hears that you don't want him to do it, but he does not yet have the self-control to stop himself from doing it. Instead of scolding him, try redirecting him to something else that's acceptable. Scolding and punishing at his age will only confuse him. He will understand that you're angry but wonder why you're angry at him for just doing what he is supposed to do (explore and test limits). It is important to set boundaries and be consistent but try not to set too many boundaries. Ask yourself "Is he (potentially or actually) hurting himself or someone else?" If not, it's probably not worth "punishing" him for. I've seen some responses here that advocate spanking. Spanking may immediately stop him from doing the behavior but not without a price. Again, he will wonder why he is being punished for doing something he is supposed to do. Plus, he will learn that it's okay to hit people to try to get them to do what you want them to do. Probably not the lesson you want. Good luck!

All I can say is. FOLLOW THROUGH. FOLLOW THROUGH, FOLLOW THROUGH. I learned the hard way that if you follow through one time and not the next, it takes ten more times of following through before they get it again. At 19 months, he is just realizing he is is own person, and will test your every boundary. Be strong and stay the course. Before you take something away or restrict him, make sure it is something you can stick to, if you take away TV, for a week, don't give it back before the week is up...not that a 19 month old is going to know restriction at this point...but you know what i mean

I also recommend the book Lifeline by James B. Stenson and Discipline that Lasts a Lifetime by Dr. Ray Guarendi. One of my favorite quotes is "Talking is the illusion of discipline." There has to be consistant and painful (not necessarily spanking) consequences for disobedience.

Time out works wonders.

Redirect, redirect and redirect some more. Yes, you need to tell him no, we do not throw in the house (or whatever the infraction is) but exchange it with something he can do (we can throw a ball outside). If your son is like mine, he will learn to love being outside because outside is where he can run, jump, tumble, throw, kick to his little hearts delight.

Be consistent with any rules you make, eventually he will get it. Try not to say no to everything because then you are in a constant power struggle, give him other options and you and him will be so much happier.

Best of Luck