A good friend of my daughters' has major bathroom issues. She has apparently been "constipated" since she was 1 year old. She's been in and out of doctors and it appears there is nothing physically wrong. Her poop isn't even hard. But she holds it and ends up in major pain. Her mom told me that it started during a rough period in their marriage - the dad stopped talking to the mom. Then it got better for awhile, and comes and goes now. Her parents have split up and they're going through a very contentious divorce. The mom seems unaware what she should do to help. But it's affecting their lives in so many ways. The girl has to leave playdates because she's in major pain from holding her poop in. And this past Sunday they spent three hours with the girl crying and the mom telling her silly stories to get her to relax.
Has anyone gone through something similar and do you have any advice I can pass on?
Added: I just talked to the mom and she mentioned that the dad yells at the girl when she holds her poop in and refuses to help her wipe. I can only imagine how much worse that is making the problem.
I agree with Tiffany. I was told from a dr that adding Miralax to their water, juice or kool aid works.
So sorry to hear how this little girl is being suffering. Sounds like she needs a little extra tender loving care and a way to get a way for a little while to be able to relax. Hope this helps.
I agree Miralax. Then instead of just talking her down, try putting her in a warm bath. Let her lay down in the tub and relax. Lots of fluids, grapes and pears.
Then there is the obvious, let her see a children's counselor. She is having physical symptoms of stress that don't have a physical cause therefore can't be "cured" by physical means. IBS, irritable bowel syndrome has a physical and mental components and can't be diagnosed by tests. It can be managed. She needs help. Get it for her. Get a recommendation by her ped.
only read a few responses.....Miralax works like a charm and its not habit forming
We have had major constipation issues with our youngest. We gave her Miralax 3 times a day whenever she got really backed up. The doctor had us give her 1/2 capful each time mixed in her juice or water. (NEVER MILK) The GI specialist we saw said that when you mix milk & Miralax, it defeats the purpose because milk is major cause for constipation. Also, stay away from anything in the B.R.A.T. Diet (Banana's, Rice, Apple Sauce, and Toast). Another little tip we have learned along our journey of having a constipated child. Another thing that helped our little one was we quit making a big deal out of it. We finally just gave her the Miralax and did not ask if she had gone poopy today. We started to notice that someone was all of sudden going poopy but not flushing the potty. We would ask if it was her and she would say no, but we knew it was her because she was the last one in the bathroom. We did not make a big deal about it and just flushed it away. I feel this was her way to let us know she was going even if she would not admit to it.
Good Luck to your friend. I know how tiring and how frustrating it can be. She will come around. I promise!!
No wonder they're getting a divorce. He's a pretty awful guy.
If she doesn't have a child psychologist, she needs one. Working on the emotional will help the physical.
My 6y has the same problem, and we aren't going through a divorce ...
I am considering taking her to an internist to see if other tests need to be done, because it just keeps happening.
One key thing is to keep her hydrated with water or juice, not milk.
Other helpful things:
Eating yogurt with live cultures (greek yogurt, Activia)
Graham crackers
Warm baths
Using 1 tsp of Miralax a day in milk or orange juice
Cutting back on cheese and milk.
Try having her cut out all dairy, especially cheese. Switch to all whole grains (whole wheat bread, pitas, bagels, crackers, pasta, etc.). And lots of fruits and veg.
Have her drink 1/2 cup of prune juice or eat 3 to 4 prunes per day. Every single day. If that doesn't help, have her check with her pediatrician or the enterologist about using Miralax daily for a while.
And get the child into counseling - the bad psychological stuff she is dealing with is having a direct physical result on her body. If at all possible, get the dad into the counselor's office too. But at bare minimum, get this girl in to a counselor so that she can get some help with dealing with the trauma and the dad's awful behavior.
I had a little girl in my daycare that would hold it until she would honestly stop up a toilet her BM was so large!!!
This is what we did: (BTW Mom was a Nurse Practitioner) Mom gave her a small dose of Miralax in her milk every morning. We pushed fluids as much as possible. We really kept track of how long she was "holding it" and if it was too long Mom would give her a little more Miralax. There are other things you can add to food, molasses and dark Karo syrup. Of course, plenty of fruits and whole grains for fiber help also.
At first when she was refusing to go at my house I would go into the bathroom with her and rub her back and talk to her quietly about things like going swimming and jumping in the pool, anything to distract and relax her.
M
I wish I had one answer that worked because we have been dealing with constipation with my son for several years. What I can tell you is that the little girl may need to see a counselor. Sometimes it can be related to emotional issues, which it sounds like the case with her DD.
But there are other things she can do. Ironically, just b/c the poop is soft doesn't mean she is not constipated. The soft poop can flow around a large mass, making it seem like diarrhea when it is not. Is she bloated? Does she have a lot of gas? The doctor may be able to give a regimen for a colon cleanse to clear everything out and start fresh. I give my son Miralax daily on the doc' recommendation. I also have several Fiber One products that he eats each day. He drinks a lot of water and I try really hard to get him moving. The doctor can also send her for Biofeedback. They will teach her how to relax the muscles in the hopes that she will relax them when pooping enough to get it all out. We did that this summer. It is not 100% better but it does help. The other thing is that she should spend about five to ten minutes on the toilet after eating breakfast and dinner each day. She doesn't need to "push" but just sit and relax and then it may come out. And get her a stool to rest her feet. It has something to do with relaxing the rectal muscles more. I got my other son to start pooping before school by doing this! Bonus! Also, I would have her talk to the teachers. My son started b/c he felt pressured at school....didn't want to ask to go and when he did, he was rushed and wouldn't go all the way. I send him to school with a large bottle of water (important to stay hydrated) and had a note from doctor saying that he must go if he feels the urge. If you wait more than 20 mins to go, the urge goes away and then the poop hardens.
I have learned far more about pooping and constipation this year than I'd like! But hopefully it will help your friend. :)
