Conflicted on My Recent Daycare Decision

Updated on August 20, 2013
M.P. asks from Oklee, MN
15 answers

hi there!
my 4 yr old son's been at his "school" (daycare) for about a year now since we moved. prior to that he was in the same one from 9 wks old to 3 yrs old. due to my husband's unemployment, i made the exec decision to take him out of this school he's been at for a year to move him to a part time daycare for $75/wk opposed to $140/wk, and have husband watch him 2 days/wk. all this time i've been trying to keep him at the expensive daycare but everything's starting to catch up & this was the most efficient way to cut expenses. so....the week i'm putting him in a new daycare, my husband gets a job! yay! thank you Lord! BUT....b/c i've talked up the new daycare so much & i just wasn't QUITE sure how this job would work out, i went ahead & started my son at the new school at $90/wk. well, job looks to be going good so far (been 3 wks) and ever since i switched schools, it's been nagging at me that i may not have made the right decision. last week the teacher at new school reported he's coming out of his shell, participating more, etc. Made me so happy! :) There's nothing wrong w/this daycare, I sort of question how the "teaching" part of it will be when regular school starts. They assure me they have a curriculum so to speak & treat it as preschool, etc.
He'll start kinder next year & will HAVE to switch daycares b/c I need transportation for him to & from school. This current daycare is too far to drive him to school or pick up.
So.....my conundrum....should i put him back in the other school at the $140/wk, leave him in the current daycare at $90/wk? Knowing he'll have to switch again next year b/c of the ISD. The other school has Christmas programs, preschool graduations, field trips, etc. Because the current daycare is a little more poor (for lack of a better description), they don't participate in these things. But son appears to be fine there now. All the daycares in our town that transport to his elementary school are $140/wk.

I just don't want to yank my boy around, I need to make a solid decision but for some reason I'm having a hard time making it & sticking to it.

He's my world & I just don't want to screw this up. What do you think? How would you sort this out?

thanks so much for your thoughts :)

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So What Happened?

omg, just on the first three responses i'm already feeling SO MUCH BETTER!
thanks so much! i tend to over analyze the crap out of things, lol, and needed some perspective & some experienced mama opinions! whew....thanks again mamas! :)

Featured Answers

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

It sounds like he's happy and doing well. Don't move him again. I'd leave him and make the next move kindergarten. Good decision Mom!

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Preschool graduations? That made the list? :(

Don't bounce the poor thing around because of stupid things like preschool graduation! Why don't you get a list of other parents contact information and organize a Christmas program?

Save the extra money, trust me, it doesn't get better as they get older, quite the opposite.

Sure next year he will switch again but it will be an exciting change going to a real school.

8 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I'd say, stay with where you are.

As a preschool operator, we rarely did field trips but did plenty of exploring the neighborhood. I always felt that the kids were really there to learn how to interact with other kids (which is actually very necessary for kindergarten prep, more than academics, in fact). I figured that if families wanted to go to the local museum/puppet theater/etc. that they would make it happen on family time. As for the Christmas programs-- that's great if it's a Christian daycare, but if you are offering a service to all comers, the standard is to let families celebrate religious holidays at home and to focus on seasonal themes (light, families, winter) at those times.

Ask yourself about the quality of the care and if your son seems like he's thriving-- talking about fun things he did (you can ask-- so, what did you play today? Who was with you?- better than 'so what did you do?'); if you are getting positive feedback from the teachers and he seems happy, keep him there. Personally, I would not pay $50 a week more for the extras you are describing. Think about it-- that's a whopping $2,600 a year more for a few Christmas carols and a couple of outings. I'll bet you could do something a LOT more pleasant with that money for your family!

8 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Keep him where he is if it looks like he's having fun and you trust the staff. Paying more doesn't ensure you get more. Heck, my girls went to a preschool that cost $250 a week per child and they didn't have graduations, field trips, or anything particularly out of the ordinary. I did love the school and think they were incredibly nurturing and lovely... but you can get that from a $90/week place too. We're all programmed to think if we spend more it must be better. But that's not always the case.

7 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

If your son is happy at his current, cheaper daycare, keep him there.

At his age, they only need to have fun and play. He's got plenty of learning ahead of him, and you can teach him and take him on field trips and do Christmas things with him at home. And he certainly doesn't need a graduation.

He will be fine changing schools later on, you won't be "yanking him around." He's young and flexible.

Save the money.

6 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

As long as the care is good, I would leave him at the daycare you just put him in. It's a lot of adjustment to move him back and forth, even if he is going back to some place he's been before. I wouldn't worry about preschool graduation or xmas programs. That's not what you have him there for and he certainly won't miss them. You will see MORE than your share of xmas programs as he progresses through school!

5 moms found this helpful
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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I would leave him.

I had this issue like you. I was hesantant to move my son from a center to a home daycare- because they did not have the Gymnastics there? Looking back that was stupid. Now my kids go to a home daycare for the summer, and my daugther (2) goes all year. I do not feel that she is missing out on the field trips etc.. My hubby and I take them to the Zoo, to the pool, Hiking, pumpkin patch, apple orchard.. that is where they would take them so they are not really missing out on anything.

I have also discoverd, back to basics is awesome.The teacher/care giver is the most important peice of good care. If you have a good person, you are far better off than the other daycares with more stuff..

Change is a good thing, remind him of that. Every school year there is a new teacher. It is a normal natral thing. By Changing him this year, it is giving him some experience of what is going to come.

Agian, I would stay and not second guess it. Aside this, put the money away or save for something nice for the whole family.

4 moms found this helpful
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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

Leave him where he is! He's adjusting well, and pulling him out and switching back just for a year would be even more confusing. You're doing fine, don't worry about it!

4 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

The basic program, is it preschool or daycare? If it's preschool and he'll learn to share, his colors and numbers, and how to sit during circle time and that sort of thing, he'll be fine. My DD's preschool was a half day program that was described as "no frills" but they were awesome.

I was amazed at what DD learned in a play based program. She also learned to manage HERSELF. Get her own lunch, pack her own bag, not cry so much at little things, etc. If they don't have a Christmas pagent, what do they do for the holiday? And if they don't do a "graduation" do they have any special events? My DD's little programs were not something where we bought the gown or invested in costumes. They used their "angel" costumes from Christmas for their "graduation" gowns and made their own caps. Made all the decorations themselves out of paper and crafty bits. Etc.

And also, will that $50 a week make a big difference at home? That's also a big consideration.

And sometimes transitions are h*** o* parents, too. It was hard to put DD in preschool and hard to leave. She'll be starting K in the fall and coulda woulda shoulda...it is what it is.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Washington DC on

Husband unemployed = SAHD

I'd have husband watch them 4 days a week and pay for one day of child care.

3 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Oh my goodness! My kids never did preschool! How on earth did they get in college! Lol!

Leave him. You are doing great an I appreciate your efforts in our bad economy! Yea to a new job!

2 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

He's already settling in to the new one. Let it go. If you really want to put him back at the old one then do it. BUT make sure he's okay with it. Tell him he won't see these new friends anymore but will see all his old friends every day.

Let him decide.

At this age seriously, even if he plays dress up all day it's not going to hurt him one bit. There are kids entering kindergarten who have never had a curriculum at child care nor had parents who taught them their colors.

It won't matter at all if he gets a pre-school program at 4 or not. He's more than ready for kindergarten next year just because he's been in child care for all these years. He probably already knows more than the average kiddo out there.

Don't worry. He'll be fine!

Have you considered starting him in Pre-K this year? He could start at the child care center he's going to be at next year and be done with the switching around forever.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

If he is happy and doing well, then that's the answer.
I think daycare or preschool is a wonderful opportunity for kids!

Those special programs, by the way, often upset the child with the upset in routine. So don't worry that he doesn't get a Christmas pageant or whatever.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.K.

answers from New York on

Leave him where he is. He seems fine. Really does it matte. Braduation is from high school, not preschool. So that should be irrelevant. Christmas shows? I would be more concerned about what happens on a daily basis. He will do fine where he is. Also, God forbid, something happens with husbands job. You are still at the cheaper one.

2 moms found this helpful
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A.M.

answers from Hartford on

Based on my experience the most expensive daycare is not always the best daycare. If your son is adjusting well and thriving then I would let him stay where he is.

1 mom found this helpful
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