Cleaning Lady Am I Out of Line

Updated on March 20, 2010
S.S. asks from Golconda, IL
12 answers

Ok Mama's I need to vent here for a minute and ask if I am out of line. I have had a girl who comes in once a week to clean for us. She has been with us off and on for about 10 years. She has from time to time decided to not work. So we will go for months and then she would call and say can I come back I really need the money. So ok. I usually say no problem. The last time she was off it was due to my husband being laid off. So we had her every other week for a few months. Now for the "I am so pissed I could scream part" So she usually comes to clean on saturday morning. It is convenient for her. Not so much for me but I deal as she does a great job in the bathrooms and I like that. She calls me always on Thursdays to confirm she will be here. I had plans for a lot of company last weekend and again this weekend. So Thursday of last week comes and goes no call. On Friday I try all day to get in touch to make sure she is coming. Finally about 8:30 pm she answers the phone and nope she is not coming. she has decided she is doing ok money wise and doesn't need it anymore. I am like okayyyy. were you going to call and let me know so I can get someone else? she says well its only 8:30 i figured I could call till ten or so and you would be up. HELLOOOO if she is not coming I need to hire someone else. I say that and she is like "oh your going to find someone else? " ok well thats fine then. but she has no idea that she is out of line to not call and give me any warning. So after some long drawn out convoluted explanations she decides that if I want her to she will come on Saturday of this week to do a super good job and then it will be her last day and she is done. Ok so fine I don't really plan for her as she has obviously flaked but I wait for her to call and confirm. no call. I just called her and she says well I got more extra work and don't really need your job I can make the same money doing less at shannon's house. ok I get it my bathrooms are messy we have boys. But I pay her $25 an hour for cleaning 2 bathrooms and a kitchen and sweeping a floor. and its cash so no claiming it. so now the money is not the issue the question is am I out of line for being angry and telling her don't bother calling me back again we won't hire her back and nope don't bother putting me on her cleaning resume cause after all she has worked for us for 10 years and I have always been happy. (she asked this on friday when she was telling me she didn't need my job anymore) We kept her on over the past few years even when we really couldn't afford it as we were trying to help her out also. She is the mom of one of my sons friends from baseball. We are not talking a flippy kid here she is almost 50 so a grown up. How can she think that its ok to just not call or show up but call again later and say hey I am broke can you give me work again? We have been "friends" for years. we go shopping together, visit each other in hospital, help each other out. But this happening like this has just really thrown me and she has no explanation other than she is jsut happier with less work. ok I get that but if we are "friends" why not just call and tell me so I can hire someone else? I mean really I have called around and apparently I am paying premium wages lol.

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So What Happened?

Adding this as a side note. It has never been a casual thing. It has been an every week thing for most of ten years. With exception of times "she" chose to be off for a few months at a time. She knows I always expect her. Confirmation was always about the time she would be here. The last 3 months it has been and every other weekend instead of every weekend. She knows I count on her. And leave the bathrooms because it is what I pay her for. I am not offended but Am still very angry. sigh.......
lol ok I call her a girl because we are pretty much the same age. I don't consider her to be "older"

Featured Answers

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I agree with Hao. Unprofessional, but don't beat a dead horse. Don't bring it up with her anymore.

Keep the friendship, but don't hire her again. Find a replacement.

Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from San Antonio on

OK, deep breath. She was wrong not to call you, it was inconsiderate and unprofessional of her.

But you need to let go of all that anger. She was wrong. You were right, but the extent of your anger makes me a little uncomfortable. You go shopping with her, but refer to her as "the girl" which doesn't seem friendly or even respectful of a 50 yr. old woman.

Ever hear the saying "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on mee?" You knew she was not responsible for showing up. I understand that it is hard to find someone you trust to do a great job, but you knew she wasn't 100% dependable, so you have to take weigh your disapointment with that.

5 moms found this helpful

T.C.

answers from Albuquerque on

Hi Sheri,
This sounds like a misunderstanding gone *way* wrong. From what you wrote, it sounds as though this has been a very casual thing anyway. The one weekend you really needed her, she clearly had the impression it was just her choice. Did you make it clear you really-really *did* need her?

If you *do* ever want her to work for you more, just sit down and write up a calendar with her, and make it more cut-and-dry so you are both always on the same page.

Second, please and no offense, stop referring to her as a "girl" who cleans for you. That seems inappropriate to the relationship the two of you share. (I think that's how my Mom talked about her housekeeper in the 70's and it totally ground on my nerves - sorry, nothing personal to you).

Good luck.
t

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H.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Totally unprofessional. If it were me, I would not hire her back. I would not even be comfortable being a reference for her.

Hope you can keep the personal relationship, even if you let go of the professional one (that is, assuming you still want a personal relationship with her).

Good luck.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

'

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

How frustrating. That would be the last of it for me. Who says "I don't need your job" ? Especially during these times. Did she suddenly become a millionaire? I'll come clean your bathrooms and kitchen for $25 an hour. lol

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J.C.

answers from Rockford on

If it were me, I would have no problem telling her I will not hire her again, and would not put my name behind any reference for her on a resume.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

When a friend also works for you, you have to be able to switch roles and not hold each other accountable for your work behavior or let it negatively impact your friendship. We had a friend do daycare for our youngest and we had to worry about juggling these two roles.

On to the core issue...If I purchase a service and I do not like it...I stop buying it. She is not-so-decisively telling you to "take this job and shove it" and you are clearly POed about her lackadaisical work ethic. So just call it quits now and find someone else. And BTW -- I am gonna move to Illinois. =) If I could find a cleaning service for $25/hour and would sign up in flash.

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S.E.

answers from Cleveland on

I cleaned homes independently for years, and would have NEVER EVER been so irresponsible. Wether I knew the person or not. When they are working for you, they aren't your friend they are your employee. Find someone else. There are plenty of hardworking people who would jump at a chance to make $25 an hour, and do a darn good job too. End it now! She has completely taken advantage of your "relationship" and thats not right. SInce you still see this woman I would just say that you've found someone who can be more consistent and you need to be able to count on someone coming. If she gets angry, too bad. She's the one that blew it!

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M..

answers from Orlando on

Try to relax. Remember that what goes around comes around, she will get it when it comes around.

I would love to work for $25 dallors an hour. That's great pay.

I wish you good luck with your next cleaning lady.

= )

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B.O.

answers from Portland on

Sounds like a control issue on both your parts. Hire someone from a service already.

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D.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have been cleaning houses for 15 years. Therefore this is my income,how I pay my bills. How can anyone say they are making enough money???? sounds to me she is a little flakey. No you have every right to be PISSED!!!! Not very professional to not call and let someone know they are not showing up. We all have days that we don't feel like working. But...at least be respectful and give a call and let them know. Im with you. Let her go and find someone who appreciates you as much as you appreciate them. Good luck

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