57 answers

Will Hiring a Cleaning Service/Maid Send My Kiddos a Bad Message?

Ok Ladies, here's the deal -

I'm a single mom of 4 kiddos (1,2,4,8) and I just recently had to transfer from a flexible schedule at work to a normal 9-6, M-F and my house is a disaster! I was thinking about hiring a weekly cleaning service.

My ex-MIL said that hiring a maid or cleaning service would spoil my children and teach them that laziness is acceptable and it "isn't important to have personal accountability as long as you can pay someone else to do it for you".....

Her suggestion was for me to just "sleep less" which I think is ridiculous but I wanted to take a poll, JIC.

Note: I also hired a lawn service 6 months ago so I wouldn't have to mow it myself. My X MIL gave no objections then because mowing the lawn is a man's job.... How do I ask her to keep her opinions to herself?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thank you to everyone. I did not volunteer the info to my XMIL, but she found out through the kiddos and then communicated her feelings, back through the children. When I approached her about not using my kiddos as a messenger service, she gave me her opinion.

Featured Answers

don't discuss anything with the EX mil. don't ask her for opinions.
i would get a cleaning lady, a cooking lady, a folding-laundry lady, an anything lady if i could afford it if that meant more time for me with my kids.
you being a single mother of 4 is sending one message to kids: that moms is doing great and her best to keep the family happy, healthy, well-fed, well-taken care of, on top of doing it all by herself.
if you can afford it, go for it.

5 moms found this helpful

I know everyone has already said to do it but, how much help are a 1,2,4, and 8 year old when it comes to cleaning in the first place! I say that being all of my 4 are between 2 and 8. Yes the 4 and 8 year olds could do chores but isn't like that is going to keep the house clean. If you can afford the maid, get the maid!

3 moms found this helpful

I work all the time and by the time I get home from work and taking kids to baseball and what not it is 10pm. I hired a house cleaner a year ago she comes every two weeks and it was the best thing I ever did. My stress level is down I'm happy and the kids are Happy. They still have to clean up there room and what not but I don't have to worry about the deep cleaning. I say go for it.

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I live in the Philippines. Most of the people I know here have maids. I don't believe it will send a message to your kids as long as you still let them participate in household chores. You must let them be responsible for their own mess (toys, etc.), despite having a maid.

Also, if your maid does something wrong, don't talk to her about it in front of your kids. You should let your kids see that the maid is not somebody who's "beneath" you, but someone who is helping their mommy out with her household chores.

It is not laziness when you hire someone to do your job for you, I can do it all by myself but I just don't have the time. I'm a working mom and I have a little toddler to take care of. So it leaves little or no time for cleaning/chores.

The idea of maids to me is not ridiculous. We've had a maid when I was a kid and I'm not a lazy person. Also having a maid will leave you more time with your kid, which is what is MOST important.

5 moms found this helpful

don't discuss anything with the EX mil. don't ask her for opinions.
i would get a cleaning lady, a cooking lady, a folding-laundry lady, an anything lady if i could afford it if that meant more time for me with my kids.
you being a single mother of 4 is sending one message to kids: that moms is doing great and her best to keep the family happy, healthy, well-fed, well-taken care of, on top of doing it all by herself.
if you can afford it, go for it.

5 moms found this helpful

MIL, you've got to love them, even ex-MIL...they are so OFF!!!! There are other things sending a bad message, believe me, and hiring help to keep the house clean in definitely NOT one of them!!!
Hey, if she is not happy with your choice maybe SHE can come and help you out...:-0 lol!!!

4 moms found this helpful

Dear A.,
I find it intriguing that your ex-MIL is weighing into your household decisions. You have a huge burden on your plate with 4 young children and a full-time job. No person can do it all. I think it might be prudent to hire a cleaning service once a week. You will still have a lot to do to keep up the rest of the week. A cleaning service will help you keep your head above water. And, what a joy and relief to come home on that day to a nice, tidy house! You are working hard, I know you must be! If it were me, I would probably smile and thank her for her input, and then go do what I was planning on doing anyway. :) Hang in there. If you find that you don't like/need the cleaning service, you can always cancel the service. And, in the meantime, train your children to pitch in (I'm sure they already are), and eventually, you won't need to pay anyone else to do it. You will be able to do it together with your children. Blessings!

4 moms found this helpful

Well, thanks to your ex MIL, I just snorted hot coffee out of my nose after reading "sleep less".

Hire a cleaning service!!! And tell that lady to butt out!

4 moms found this helpful

Unless you and your kids do nothing to keep clean during the week, how can it be a bad message? I have been a single mom for 17 years...I wish I could have afforded help.....as to women's lib on the backs of poor women? ridiculous....single women must work and I, university degreed, used to clean houses for extra money and it paid great! There have always been levels of employment - work is work...and I am a former office holder in NOW....I would rather look at it that you are giving another person work....you go girl!!

4 moms found this helpful

No... It will not send a bad message. We have a cleaning service that comes but they do the CLEANING. My kids (my husband, and myself) still need do the picking up!!! The girls have to put away laundry, pick up their rooms, and help with dishes.
I look at is as a way for me to me a better mother to them. When I am home on the weekends I am not mopping and cleaning toilets. I am at the zoo, dance class, etc. with the girls.
Good luck and YOU need to do what is best for your family. Don't worry about what your X MIL thinks. I am sure she will ALWAYS give her opinion weather you want it or not. You can either not tell her things or just ignore her. Asking her to keep her opinions to herself might just open a can of worms.
MB

4 moms found this helpful

Here's house I see it: even though you may have a cleaning service come in to clean the house once a week, you still have to work to maintain the house between visits and daily chores that still have to be done everyday like washing the dishes, making the bed, picking up after yourself, feeding the dog if you have one. Having a weekly cleaning service is not living in the lap of luxuary; it's a necessity when you are a single working mom with 4 kids and can afford it.

As for your ex-MIL, you can either not be so forthcoming regarding the hows and whys of how your run your house or, if she does offer an opinion, just say, "Oh really. That's something to think about," and just move on to another topic of conversation and just let what she said go. I am learning to just let other people have their opinions because, Lord knows, you can't stop them from having them, and that it's best sometimes just to let somethings roll off your back. Peace is nice.

Now, go call that cleaning service and enjoy some peace and relaxation!

4 moms found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.