A Comment/question About Teachers Gifts

I'm a teacher...we don't expect gifts. They're nice but not mandatory. Send in a handwritten thank you note and that's fine. Throw in the baked cookies if you'd like. We understand that not everyone can do this. What we don't like is when people say ridiculous things like "teachers already make enough money and don't need anything from us"...

I never suggest or advocate for the "group" teacher's gift route.
Why? Because you never know what situation others are in.
And some people (every year) become "those parents) and go WAAAAY overboard. Which is ridiculous and transparent.

If I were you, I'd either, give a lesser amount ($5/teacher) if you can or opt out entirely and do a nice thank you card. THAT is what teachers want--to know they've made a difference in the life of a student--so be specific (enjoyed the math activities, fostered an interest in reading, gave extra help on xyz when needed).

As for birthday gifts--again--what you can afford. If that's a $10 gift card to TRU, then that's fine. Really.

I'm a teacher. Skip the teacher gift (or do cookies like you suggested). While I appreciate anything and everything, I do not expect it, especially if money's tight. You need to do what's best for your family. That's what I would expect. :)

I used to be a teacher too - and I didn't expect gifts. They were nice, but definitely not necessary. And honestly, the gift that meant the most was an old, dirty Christmas ornament that a child brought me one year. It was a teddy bear who's fuzz was falling off and was missing an eye. I taught in a low income area school and I knew this little girl's family had been homeless in the past. This little kindergartener thought enough about me to bring a treasured ornament from home - when they probably didn't have many - because she saw other kids bringing gifts and she didn't want to feel left out.

At $10 a student - and say, I had 15 students (again, low income school - smaller class sizes) - that is a $150 dollar gift!!! That seems CRAZY to me!!! And to think that your children's classes probably have more?? If the teachers are good teachers, they don't teach for the gifts. One students mom made me a scrapbook of the school year...I still have that. And I still have any note/letter that parents wrote at the end of the year thanking me. It is the thought that counts - and sometimes a simple hand written note is more meaningful than a fancy expensive gift... at least to me, because those are the things I still have :-)

NO teacher would ever want you to hurt yourself financially. Ever. Give what you can. Give what you want. Don't let the group mentality or "room mom" emails guilt you into spending more than you can afford. Giving a gift is optional, it s not a mandated commitment.

For the kid gifts, simply spend less. Last year we gave everyone we knew lite brites. $12 at Toys R Us. They were novel and worked for a boy or a girl. Almost everyone was excited about the idea. Earlier this year I found spy gear clearanced out..I bought 10 voice changers for $7 each, that what we give the boys we know. Classic board games are usually inexpensive. And character tshirts are often on sale. We bought some Angry Bird shirts at Kohls for $8 last week. I don't usually give clothes, but the girl we gave the shirt to was ecstatic.

Don't ever feel bad about the price tag on a gift.

Please don't feel pressured to contribute if you can't afford it.
And of course the teachers would love homemade cookies!
I used to work as an aide and while, yes, of course the gift cards are nice, I always really appreciated the homemade goodies and cards from the kids and their families :)

The teachers will appreciate any acknowledgement from you or your child. $$ doesn't matter, but knowing you appreciate their work really is heart warming.

For the gifts (I'm so glad we are past this stage!) I always hit the Walmart clearance aisle and checked for major mark downs on craft supplies, anything popular at the moment (when my kids were that age it was Hannah Montana or High School Musical stuff). They usually restock the aisle early in the week and if I found a particularly good treasure, I would buy multiples. The big benefit isn't the savings, it's having the gifts on hand when you find that forgotten invitation and little Suzy has to be at a party in 20 minutes with a gift. It saved me MANY times!

For me, I'd spend less on the birthdays and more on the teachers. I aim for $10 a birthday anyway they don't need big presents from friends. But the teachers work incredibly hard for very little money, job stability, or support, and it's important to me that they finish feeling appreciated. You can absolutely accomplish that by doing something personal, make cookies, give a bouquet of flowers from your garden (or a cheap bunch from Trader Joes), write a genuine heartfelt thank you note, have your kids write letters or draw pictures for them. yes, the stuff and money is really nice for them so if you can afford it it goes a long way, but it's still impersonal and doesn't truly convey the attention and thanks they deserve.

Do what you can affoard, the end.

So, here is an added suggestion regarding the gifts - have a gift closet, when you find something on sale that would make a decent gift purchase it - keep it in a closet somewhere so when the times are lean (like now) you can just pull something. A great time to get this going strong is the after Christmas sales. I set aside an extra 150 to do this each year and end up with gifts for boys and girls of all ages - it is GREAT!!

Most of my schools asked for donations from the room mom at the beginning of the year. (Including me when I was a room mom.) I always contributed. As a room mom, in Feb I sent out another plea to the parents who did not send in any money. In mid-April I sent another. (Yeah, pushy, I know.) The thing is, some paren't simply forget about it and have good intentions but never get around to it. By mid-April, they know if they intend to contribute or not. I got about 80% participation this way.

I privately always gave Christmas gifts. I did not give year-end personal gifts unless it was a very well-loved teacher. (I think I only did that for two teachers.) Christmas was my thing (and contributing to the pot to help the room moms.)

If you want to do $5 per teacher, that's fine. What I would NOT do is give a teacher a $5 gift card or $5 cash by itself. If you are putting $5 in the pot, that's fine.

Dawn

I agree, all these extras really add up. But after all the ups and downs we went through at school this year, I would cut money from the birthday budget before I cut from the thank you gifts.

For birthdays - $30 per kid can be cut way down. Great gifts under $10 are in the crayola aisle at Walmart. They have giant color books, color wonder sets, Cool gel pen sets that come with books full of black shiny paper that makes the colors pop. They have Cars, Toy Story, Trabsformers, all the Princesses, Spoge Bob. Theres something for any kid. Buy one roll of cool paper and you've cut yourbirthday budget down to $55. If you have a Sams membership, you can usually find them in a multi-pack even cheaper.

totally opt out of the teacher's gifts and make cookies with a thank you card. Just tell the organizer you typically like to give your own gift. Asking for certain amount of money is not a good idea-I hate when room moms do this.

I would just tell the collectors of the money, "sorry, that is just not in our budget right now".
5 birthdays in one month is a LOT. Plus this month is also Father's Day. You may also be saving for a summer vacation like many of us.
Make the cookies or have your kids make a nice card or write a letter about what they liked about their class this year. Or, just opt out. I try to be thoughtful about gifts, but this year I skipped it. We already had so much going on at the end of the school year that it wasn't worth it to me to stress about teacher gifts on top of it all.

As a former teacher, I would hate to feel like a parent contributed more to my gift than they wanted to or could afford. Have your kids make the teacher a nice card telling memories or what they liked about the teacher.

I also agree with Tracy - cut down on the birthday gifts. I normally spend $10-15 on birthdays. Granted, I go to toddler parties....

You can make some sort of craft kit gift with paper, glue, glitter, paint, markers or a jewelry kit with beads, silver elastic, pipe cleaners, etc for under $15 and it looks like a substantial gift. Just head to Hobby Lobby or Michaels. Another kind of gift is a summer fun gift - a sand bucket with bubbles, sidewalk chalk, and a water gun - you can do that for under $10.

Kids normally get so many gifts at their parties that they are not so sure who gave what and dont really have the time to start thinking how much different people spent.

As a parent, I would be be very upset if someone spent more money than they felt they could afford on my child's gift. I always say on invitations - gift optional and also, if people ask, encourage them to spend only a small amount.

At the start of every school year, I start putting aside $5-10 dollars every week or so for teacher gifts, more some months, less on others. This year I had almost $150 saved over 8 months. That helped pay for everything and my son was able to give a generous gift card to his teacher, bus driver and roommom, as well as $5 gift cards to the cafereria ladies, car rider ladies (who open the doors for everyone at drop off/pick up), librarian, nurse and all his extra classes like PE, art, music, and so on. For his principal and vice principal, he wrote a letter thanking them and listing all the things he learned and enjoyed this past year.

I'm sure the teachers would love homemade cookies. Maybe have your kids write a nice note to go with them.

I'm not really into group gifts in general, so I'd have declined regardless of the financial aspect.

I totally know what you mean! This past year we had 3 kids in school, my daughter is in Chinese immersion, so she has 'double' the norm...it was getting pretty insane! This last year, I think they were kind of sensitive to it because they did not request as much $...which was nice! When I'm in those situations and I know it would be tight...I bake something and the kids make a card. I try to volunteer as much as I can throughout the year...this last year I made the teachers dinner when they had to stay late for parent/teacher conference...etc. The beginning of the school year is the hardest for us...school supplies...plus each child is supposed to contribute 20$ for weekly readers and other expenses...then they have a fundraiser during the first month of school where they ask parents to donate an item or service for an auction, and each class room is supposed to put together a basket, also to be auctioned off (parents providing the items to go in said basket...). If you can afford it...great...if not...you do what you can do...and that's fine. I mean, seriously...if there's 25 kids...each parent contributes 10 bucks...that's $250!

I am a room mom, have been for quite a few years. When I ask if parents want to go in for a collective gift, it is just that.....an ask. An invite to let everyone know they are welcome to participate, that all are included and no one excluded. I always state in the e-mail that "...this is completely voluntary, and each family can do whatever they choose. We are just sending this so that everyone who wants to participate can."

Even if some parents don't pitch in (which is rare but does happen), we never exclude the children and always include all of the kids' names on the card. (We are talking pre-K, K, and first-graders here). No parent who has contributed toward the gift has ever complained about that. We realize this is about giving from the heart and not giving the parents credit for having the money to do this to the detriment of those children whose families cannot.

This year, I asked the parents in our class if they'd rather do a collective end of year gift or just do things on our own. We just finished teacher appreciation week 3 weeks ago and did a collective gift then as well as lots of other special little things for the teacher throughout the week. The parents were incredibly generous with their funds, time, and talents during that week. I must say I was relieved to not have to ask for more money when the consensus was for each family to show end of year thanks in their own way.

And the most important part.....we should remember that it's not all about money or material gifts but about genuine thankfulness to the teacher.
This is a very important lesson for our children, to realize that not everything in life calls for gifts and rewards, and that often, the most precious things can come in the form of genuinely heartfelt words from one person to another--- especially when it comes to gratitude.

That doesn't make gift-giving wrong in any way, but candles, vases, mugs, body lotions and bath gels....most of my teacher friends tell me they have drawers full of these things that they won't be able to use in a lifetime. And sure, who doesn't like a gift card?

But again, I look to my long-time teacher friends on this subject, and they all tell me that things they love most are the cards and letters that the parents and children write to them. One of these teachers was just telling me last night about this special place in her home where she displays some of her absolute favorites from the children.

Sorry for so much detail and for the length, but I want to reassure you that you don't have to spend lots of money, or any money, or present material things in order to let the teachers know how much their hard work and dedication meant to you and your children.

And, if you do decide you'd like to participate in the group gift, you put whatever amount you are comfortable with in an envelope and hand it to the room mom. No explanations, no apologies....just "here's my contribution. Thanks for handling this!" In these types of situations, no one should tell you that you have to give X or make you feel badly for the amount you give. It's a show of appreciation, not a contest.

Wishing you and your family the best.

J. F.

Hi L.,

If it's end of school year or winter holiday I just bought $5.00 gift cards. Duncan Donuts, Subway, or gas car.
I alway received a great responce. Cookies are fine, but with me timing is everything, and you have to buy the ingredients too. Which probably balances out. Besides I'm on a killer diet, so me + cookie = problem! LOL
Hope this helps!!!

I think $5 is a good amount to give for the teachers if there is a collection being done. This is a way of saying thank you to a teacher that you believe has done a good job teaching your child for the year. It could also go towards classroom supplies, since most teachers buy some of their own supplies & "prizes" for their students. Teachers aids are optional. You can give if you feel they have gone above & beyond helping in the classroom.

As for birthday gifts, try to spend a little less. Birthday parties for classmates & friends should be limited to $10. Family members can be more if you feel they deserve it.

If you decide not to give money for the teachers, at least give a card with a personal note showing your appreciation for their great teaching.

DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't feel obligated. Don't feel guilty. I hate when people do this. Giving a gift is a personal choice.

I've had some horrible teachers and no way did I want to contribute to a gift or give a gift on my own. I've had some fabulous teachers and I've given gifts with a hand written card expressing my gratitude.

Some teachers like baked goods. Others are on special diets so they don't really want them. It's the thought that counts.