Choices Backfiring

I agree with the other two advices so far. I think it is cool that you give your son choices. But you need to make him accountable for his choices. If he throws a fit treat it like you would any tantrum. If you don't discipline for tantrums I suggest you start now. Don't go back and forth at all. That makes the child think he can have control over you. Kids do this. They test your limits to see what they can get away with. I was given some good advice at one time.. "Don't let your toddler do anything you wouldn't want a teenager to do." This advice works well in many ways. Whether it's climbing on furniture or throwing temper tantrums. Also works for any age kid. Hope this helps some.

i think you are doing great but maybe if you want the whole thing to be over make him stick with the first choice. i this can be a game with kids(let's see what we can make mom do hee hee)so may be next time when he chooses milk say"ok you are choosing milk so that is what you will get, no changing" and then stick with that choice. if he protests say"you chose milk so that is what you will have" then let him have his fit . if he gets too out of hand send him to his room for a break until he is all done having a fit and ready to act like a big boy. this is what i do with my little guy and he has gotten to where he thinks hard about his choices and vocalizes then much better to me now GL, N.

Ahhh the tyrannical 3's I really don't know who said that the 2 were terrible since 3 seems to be much worse. I agree, once he has made his choice you make him stick to it. If he throws a fit you do a quick surveillance of the situation and if he is safe from harm you tell him he made his choice and that is what he gets and walk away. At this age it is more a cry for attention and testing limits then it has anything to so with milk or water.

He's testing you. Many people say that giving kids choices is the way to eliminate problems, and sometimes it is....but your situation just goes to show you that a kid is going to be a kid and test you no matter how you handle a situation. You give him a choice about water or milk for example. He chooses water. You give it to him and he throws a fit. Your response should be....no....you chose water. This is what you may have, next time, make sure you choose what you want before I get it for you, and that's it. That's the end of it. Do not let him throw a fit. Punish the behavior if you must....but he is trying to see what he can get away with. Can I get Mom to jump through hoops and get me something else.....if not....can I throw a fit, which could give me power in certain places...e.g. the grocery store. What will Mom put up with? Can I be disrespectful and make her jump through hoops or disobey her?

At other times, don't give him a choice at all. Do not ask....do you want to go to the store? Just say....get your shoes on, we're going to the store.....no bribes....no choices. You're preparing him for the real world, and yes it's nice to have choices, but that won't always be the case. Sometimes you have to just do things, even if you don't want to, and a bad attitude is unacceptable.

That's the way I've handled it with my kids, and other than the initial testing, I've never had another problem with that kind of behavior.

Ignore the fit, make him accountable for his choices. I get this sometimes with my three year old son. I just tell him "well you made this choice you can take this or nothing"...and walk off. He is exerting his independence and wanting to see if he can manipulate you. Just walk away.
My six year old did this not so long ago about wanting to sit the cart at the store, I asked her "are you sure you don't want to walk", she didn't and begged to sit in the cart. Five minutes later she started whining she wanted down and I looked at her and told her she made the choice to sit in the cart and needs to do what she made the choice to do. It would be easy for me to just let her out but I was driving a point home, think about your choices.
Don't give into him, he made a choice and that is so great to give them choices, but have him be accountable for those choices!

My DD is going on 2 in June and I am SAHM as well. She does the same thing your child does, we try to let her have choices too. So heres what I do. In the morning I will set out a water bottle with water, which will be used all day long for her if needed. I will also fix her a milk or juice bottle (Nalgene sports bottles). If she wants more after she finishes she has too ask for it. If she throws a tantrum I just walk away and ignore her until she finds something else to do. If your child is stubborn as mine this could last for awhile. I hope this helps. M.