Child Reacting Strangly to School

My oldest one did not eat well at school because he was so excited and having fun being around new friends. He did that all year! So he got a snack when he got home or ate the rest of his lunch. I also tried to pack easy finger food hoping that would get him to eat more.

My second child did not like the noise and chaos of the first week of school. She cried about the whole lunchroom thing on the third day of school! And whined about it all week. It took her 2 weeks to settle into the routine and get used to all those people and all that noise. But she ate her food after just a few days.

My third child is more independent in that way so he just did his thing and ignored the chaos. But he also is sensitive to sound so he did complain about the noise.

If it were me I would go have lunch with her 'to meet her new friends and for fun'. But I would be scoping out how the kids are entering/exiting the room, bathroom breaks, etc. It is probably just that she is anxious and not sure what to do or how to do it. Some kids need a little more instruction than being herded into a room and told to eat. But I would keep it light and let her know that you care and want to know about her world while she is at school. That will go a long way in making her feel better, even if she still does not eat much.

OH, and some people don't like to eat in front of others. I never understood, but I have a friend like that. She will only eat a little bit and only certain things.

Good luck,

sometimes all it is, is nerves....like my daughter, she didn't talk to her teacher for 4 months, but just her teacher, then she got to know her better and she went back to the same talkative, hyper little girl...on the other hand your daughter might have a "bully" and she is afraid of him or her...you might want to check up on the school....just walk right in at random times and check things out....

My new Kindergartner has reacted exactly the same to school this week. He goes to school without a tear but comes home with a full lunch box. He also says that he gets homesick at lunchtime. With my child I think that while he's in class he is kept busy and everything is structured. Once he gets to the lunchroom he's on his own and not being told what to do. This also gives him time to think about home. I have decided to give him two weeks to adjust before I start to worry. After next week if he still isn't eating lunch, I'll be concerned. First week of school jitters is perfectly normal. Some people eat to calm their nerves, some people can't eat when their nervous. Hope this helps a little! Good luck, S.

Most schools allows parents to come and have lunch with thier child. Check with the front office and see if this is posible, if so make it a point to get up there this week or next and have lunch with her. At which point you can help her "disect" her surroundings. Bring McD's if that's her favorite place to have a treat. You can bring your younger one with you, its totally kool, and if will give you a chance to check out who else is in her class and what their personalities are like.

Have her help you pack her lunch. Or if she is going through the lunch line, then maybe you should pack her lunch until she's comfortable. Going through that lunch line can be pretty intimidating. Think about when you are in line to order a meal and there's a bunch of people behind you, do you feel a bit rushed.

Also, try putting a "surprise" in her lunch box. A small sticker. A copy of a picture of you & your family inside her lunch box. Buy a special type of juice pouch/box that's only for her, its special only for her lunch time at school.

Good luck. Kindergarten is so much fun. Get involve as much as you can. Be a class reader, work the labs, and be there for the parties. Your dt will be so proud that her mother is up there.

It could be several things, but one thing comes to mind is being made fun of for what she takes for lunch...? When my oldest went to public school in 1st grade he suddenly wouldn't take the foods he normally eats at home to school. Like say, a yogurt or drinkable...you know? Kids are so "oooh"y anyway about different foods. Then kids could have laughed...
If you find this to be true, try giving her words to defend herself so she feels powerful and ok with herself (and lunch). After I talked to my son about it and what he could say as a "come back" he felt better. He is a well-mannered kid in school but he does like to be clowny at recess, so we used a joke=type come back and that worked for him. With my daughter, we had to use something like, you aren't eating it, why do you care what I eat, kind of thing. Mind your own food! (now that they are in private school, with smaller classes, these types of issues aren't issues)
I would quiz her teacher and other moms. Other kids may have said something to their parents about your daughter..seen/heard something.

Hi B.,

You should try going to have lunch with her at school. Bring her a happy meal of some sort or her favorite home cooked meal. My kids always look forward to a visit from mom, dad, grandma, papa, or aunt. The transition is big! She went from at home all the time to at school all the time! The rules are way different and everyone is a stranger. If you can't attend lunch, you might ask her teacher if she can bring her favorite stuffed animal or toy or trophy she earned over summer for show and tell on Monday. She might just need to connect the two places to feel more comfortable. You could also find out what music the teacher might play in the class and pick up a copy and play it at home. This too would create a comfort of home at school and school at home. Hope this helps!! God Bless!

Hello B., it sounds to me that there is a bully type problem with your daughter in the lunch room. You say lunch and snack, snack may be because it reminds her of what happens during lunch. I have 6 kids and you would not believe what mean spirited children can get away with in plain view. It has happened to at least half my kids while an adult is in the room.

Also, as sad as it sounds, it may be an adult. It happened with my son when he was in 1st grade. A lunch lady made him go back and eat all his food. She scolded him into doing it; my son because he is obedient did, he did not tell me until months later.

This happens quite often in school when another child decides to target another child for some reason. I would go eat lunch with her and perhaps if she does not tell you when you ask, you can tell by the way she reacts around certain people.

Sincerely, R.

I would go to the school & have lunch with her one day & check out what is going on! Maybe somebody is not being nice or making fun of her food or somethin ! Children are very cruel this day & time !
Good luck !

Maybe at that time of the day is when her BM (bowel movement) are worjing and she needs to go but is Embarrassed to go or the teacher told her she has to wait until lunch time is over. Is this her regular time that she goes? If she is going to Public school maybe the Cafeteria is over whelming her. All the other children that are bigger than her, all the noise and just the atmophere.
My advice is fisrt call the teacher and ask if she knows why your daughter is having a hard time. If the teacher doesn't know go have lunch with your DD to figure it out on your own. But don't tell your DD and also if you go don't show up until she is sitting down at the lunch table. Observe what is happening before you assume.
Hope this helps.
Also my son was very overwhelmed at lunch and for a while he ate lunch in the classroom b/c it was too much for him. Yet he started school at 4 and is/was speech delayed in the PPCD program.
Good Luck