Child Fussy After Daddy Was Deployed

I know this post is old BUT I just wanted to suggest you get a daddy doll from hugahero.com It was the best thing that we did for my son (15-23mo) when my husband was deployed. Even now that daddy is home, his daddy doll is still a necessity when we are getting ready for bed. Hope all is going well. Good luck
L

I don't know for sure but I would assume it has a lot to do with Daddy leaving. When my youngest was that age, my husband, who stayed at home with him all day while I worked, was out of town for 3 weeks, and let me tell you my son became so attached to me and also did all the things you are talking about. I think he's scared you are going to leave next. I have no idea how long your husband will be gone, but maybe give your son a picture of him to hold. Just let him cling to you for now, it takes a lot of time to get that peace back. I think you are right once you get him back on a schedule that will help some. My son was mad at his dad when he came back home, and it took time for them to get close again. I think they are just scared of losing again. Hang in there, my heart goes out to you and your son.
(On a separate note, you have a wonderful husband who is serving this country and allowing me to have the freedom I have, Thank you!)
God Bless

S.
Two things that REALLY helped my young children when their Navy father was deployed were"

A pillowcase that I made with iron on photo paper bought at a craft store. I put photos of us as a family and them with their dad. They slept with it every night. The Armed Services YMCA will make you a FREE quilt with pictures of their dad. You can submit the pics on-line.

He enrolled in a program on the ship called United Through Reading. He made a video, talked to the girls and read them a couple of books. They record it and send it to you on a dvd. My girls were very comforted by this and watched them till they wore out.

There is also a separation video with the charachters of Sesame Street talking about deployment that my children watched MANY times. You can get this through family services.

Good Luck!!! This is a very hard time but you will get through it and both of you will become stronger and more independent.

Take Care and post if you need further support. We are here for you!

E.

I'm sure it is all due to everything that has gone on. Children have no way to express what they are feeling. They have no words for it. Sounds like you are doing all you can to get things back to "normal". He will be okay. We are also a military family although active duty (I don't know much about how the reserve differs) I know the family readiness office has resources for helping children deal with deployments I assume it would be the se for you. When my daughter was that age I printed out two 8x10 pictures of her and daddy and laminated them together so she could have them. She carried them around a lot. Also be sure to monitor your own stress level he may be feeling some of your anxiety too. Best of luck. Do you have a support system near by like family or close friends? Be sure to call on them. Deployments aren't to be done alone. :0)

Sounds like your child may be afraid that you are going to leave him like dad did. He may also feel the anxiety or nervousness that you and your hubby are going through and reacting to that. I wonder if he is also starting to experience separation anxiety. Some of the things that I learned was to talk about Dad, show pictures of him and even though your son is young reassure him that Daddy is going to be back. I hope your husband is able to call or do video conferences...if so include your son in that as well. I know this is difficult on top of you dealing with your husband's absence. It may help to be active in your Family Support Group (not sure what the navy calls it) and be in contact with other moms going through the same thing and they can share what they are doing that is working. Good luck!
C.

Oh I am so sorry, Mama! No matter the reason it is still so hard to deal with unhappy little ones. I would say that it sounds like a lot of things. He is adjusting to life without daddy around, trying to get back in a routine after weeks of change, and possibly even teething. Thing is one small change like that or in their routine can cause some major upset in little ones, and he has had a lot of change, ya know? I think you are on the right track with getting a schedule and routine back in order, that makes them feel safe and secure. Also, continue to be understanding when he gets scared help him to realize that you are there and you are not going anywhere (for good) even if you are going out to take the trash out. Good luck, and I think you will see a huge change once he is back in a good routine!!

My husband is also a military dad. Our son was 18 months the first time he was gone and 3 the second time(this time was a lot easier!!) I think that one of the hard things with this age is that they have a hard time expressing what they are feeling. Have you been to the Family Support Center on NAS/JRB? It is right behind the Commissary. They don't really have any programs for Children that young, but they have meeting for you and keeping your stress down helps a lot! Also you are now eligiable to take you son to the Child Care center on base. I am pretty sure they even offer so many days free to families of deployed sailors. This will give him something to keep him busy, give you a break and lets him be around people who completly understand what he is going through! I know its hard, but it is totally normal and it WILL get better.

Hello S.,
First of all thank you for your husbands service and for your support of him. I know this separation is hard for you as well! Your baby boy is at the appropriate age to experience "separation anxiety" even under the most "normal" circumstances. My guess would be that your husbands sudden departure has dramatically added to that. You could do a bit of googling to find some tips. I found one: http://www.babycenter.com/0_separation-anxiety_145.bc
All My Best to You and Your Family,
P.