Child Bathroom Question

My 19 year old daughter and my 42 year old sister uses a LOT of toilet paper all of their life. My dad used to tell us when we were little we could only use 3 squares, well that didn't work with 5 girls in the house. But sometimes my daughter can go through a whole roll of toilet paper in one day.

I agree with everyone else that you should have medical information but don't think there is anything to worry about. Some people, especially woman, use a LOT of toilet paper.

Your husband absolutely must go to court and force his ex-wife to share ALL medical information with him. Think about what would happen if the girl were with you and him, and were injured or became very ill -- you will be asked by the ER, "Who is her primary doctor?" and will not be able to answer. You will be asked, "Is she allergic to any medications? Does she have any health history of X, Y or Z?" and you will not be able to answer. If for some reason you must sign her up for a camp or class in summer, you will have to fill out health forms including her doctor's names and numbers, as well as allergies and meds she may be taking; you cannot do that if you do not have that information. Camps and classes and school ALL want immunization dates etc. -- you cannot provide those if you don't have access to all her medical records.

For all your husband and you know, the girl could be under treatment for many things or nothing, or could have developed a life-threatening allergy to a medication or a food etc. and you would have no idea, if the record of all that is with a doctor whom you cannot contact.

I would be very suspicious that the mother has the girl in treatment for something that is being hidden from dad. Possibly the girl is in counseling that was recommended by the doctor and the mom doesn't want the dad knowing or seeing any records. Or the girl could be perfectly fine. But you have zero way to know.

This is very important. It IS worth your time fighting in court over doctor visits. She needs to see the same doctor(s) so she gets consistent care and there are good records of her shots. Dad needs to wake up to this -- he and you could end up accidentally endangering this girl because mom refused to let you have her medical records and access to her real doctors.

If dad pays for any of the daughter's medical insurance -- he needs to know who all the providers are. He should get insurance statements that name her doctors when the insurance pays out or sends him a check -- the medical provider information is always on those statements. Even if he has no insurance responsibility, he simply must know her medical history and providers and be able to take her to HER regular doctor if she is sick when with your family! The mother is negligent to hide the doctor from him -- and she is creating a lot of justifiable suspicion about her motives.

Also, the mom likely has filled out a HIPAA form (which says who can and cannot have access to a patient's health information) and intentionally left dad off that form. He must ensure that he is officially listed as both legally required under HIPAA (it's a health info law) to have full access to information, AND that he is listed as an emergency contact for his daughter. Even if mom doesn't like it.

Involve your lawyer, right now.

The issue with the wiping? Could be as simple as the fact your toilet paper isn't what she's used to. When I inadvertently bought very thin toilet paper recently, I found that everyone was using a lot more of it - a friend of my daughter's sheepishly came and told me she'd clogged our toilet (bless her for telling me right away!) and I saw it was because she'd used a ton of this thin toilet paper. Or your stepdaughter just might be used to the feel of a thicker paper that is at her mom's house. If there is no burning or pain etc. I'd just change papers and let it go. If you favor a particular paper, just keep a thicker one around for when she's with you.

Is she noticing any vaginal discharge/moisture?
She might be starting her period soon.
Get her some books about it and introduce her to panty shields/tampons..
And I would think her father should be able to take her to a doctor if the need arises.
If there were an emergency he certainly shouldn't wait till her Mom gets around to taking her.

I would demand dr information if it was my child. Your husband needs to demand it. I dont know what would cause that unless she is just sensitive to being somewhat damp or maybe its a minor OCD thing. How recently did this start

I agree with demanding medical info... Through court if neccesary. He has a right to know about any health issues his child has. Make sure there isn't a medical cause for this.

Beyond that, I would wonder if she hasn't already started her period, maybe she is getting close? Puberty brings on all sorts of changes, and maybe she just has more secretions or is more aware of them than normal.

My cousin had a similar issue where said she felt constantly damp, so she used to put baby powder in her underwear to H. keep her feeling dry. Another option could be to use pantiliners to absorb any dampness.

I don't think this needs a visit to the doctor, however you do have EVERY right to know if there are any medical issues going on.

As far as her feeling "wet", That's not that unusual. I wonder if it is that "cool" feeling that you have when your skin was just a bit damp? I would also wonder if she was getting close to starting her period, and may be having some discharge that she isn't used to feeling.

Have an attorney write her a letter, along with the court decree, that shows in highlights exactly what you are asking for. That hubby is given absolute access to any and all information regarding daughter, medical records, financial records regarding her child support spending, and any other costs you can think of.

The end game is that you get the stuff you want. The other stuff may not be needed or wanted but it will piss her off and she may give you what you want to keep you from having the other stuff.

It sounds like she could be having vaginal discharge - perfectly normal as her body starts to gear up to go through puberty and start menstruating (I started my period at age 10). I know when I have discharge, it takes a couple of extra wipes to get the dry feeling. Has anyone discussed puberty with her and talked about the changes she will be facing?

I agree with Leigh R. You must have access to health information! As a retired police detective I see her actions as suspicious. They don't necessarily mean anything is wrong. However, it's important to correct this right away for all the reasons Leigh gave.

About the toilet paper, my grandson uses a lot. He has sensory issues. Is our stepdaughter sensitive in other ways? Do some clothes or textures also bother her? Perhaps she doesn't like a food because it's too chewy or too mushy. Perhaps she avoids getting her clothes or hands wet. That sort of thing.

This is too much info I know. But when the weather is warm and I'm physically active I often feel wet after wiping. I blot after a wipe and it helps.

You must be able to take her to the doctor.

I found this link which says: "joint legal custody, which means that the parents must share in decision-making regarding the children and that the parents have equal rights to the child’s medical and educational records."

http://cordellcordell.com/resources/georgia/georgia-child...

Sue for custody if you need to. If she's not taking care of her child, someone has to. Just because she gave birth to her, doesn't make her a mom (believe me, I know).

It's perfectly normal. What she is having is vagonal discharge. My daughter had it when she was 10