Child Acting Out at Day Care

I would follow up with the teach everyday-let your son know that being good at school is a house rule too. If that rule is broken the punishment it what ever you do at home for breaking rule IE time out. Make sure to do it as soon as you get home, and tell him he broke you rule.
You also need to reward for being good, as soon as you get to the car, give him a sticker, a few m&m's, some small reward,and of course a hug and kiss IN FRONT of the teacher lots of priase.

He is probably acting out at the daycare because he isn't getting enough attention?
If you feel you should switch schools you should do it. They always say for a mother to go with her gut instinct.
I run an in home daycare/preschool for several years and I have never had any problems like that. If I did, I would be willing to work with the parents...not tell them to "do something about it".

Oh and I wouldn't punish him at home because it is too long after the incident and he won't relate it anyways.

Good luck!

I agree with Courtney's post. I have a few questions though...how long has your son been at that school? Is there another child (perhaps with an older sibling) that has also started this behaivor?

My son was distrubtive (not hitting) at school for the first time in 4 years about one month ago. We sat down with the teacher and I told him it was unacceptable and that I was going to follow up with the teacher everyday for the next week-- which we did together. He was punished at home (no treats at the grocery store and no movie that night) and told that if it happened again he would not get to spend the day with his friend that next weekend. He has not even come close to acting out again.

Obviously he cannot be hiting other children or teachers at school. If you think there is a problem with the daycare I would think about changing. But generally Ive found that the teachers at our school are pretty perceptive about the reasons for the acting out.

If you ask him why he is hitting he may be able to tell you and the answer may surprise you...

Good luck!

Whenever my son gets into trouble at daycare, I make sure that I talk to him about what happened and why. I always talk about it with the provider in front of my son so that he knows that we communicate. We talk about how he felt at the time, why he responded the way he did and how he could've handled things differently. We explain what we didn't like about his reaction, how it makes the other person feel (words-sad hearts, hitting - soreness) and what he could do the next time. If is was instigated by someone else, we give suggestions as to what to say or to go get the help of an adult. Your son probably just doesn't know what to say so he gets physical.

We do punish for behavior at daycare, to some extent, since we discuss alternatives, etc. The first incident is usually a "freebie," but then we say "now you know how we feel and how to handle it so if it happens again, then you will get in trouble." Nothing severe because they are learning, but a removal of a privilege or time out, etc.

I don't think this is over your son's head. 3 1/2 year olds are a lot more sophisticated than they get credit for. :) Obviously your son knows what your expectations are because he doesn't do this with you. Maybe the daycare doesn't have clear enough boundaries for him or maybe she isn't consistent. If you work together, his behavior may change. If you don't think he is getting the attention or supervision he needs, then I would look elsewhere.

C.

I think he's acting out for attention. How many kids go to this preschool? My son did this at a daycare and when she closed and we had to choose another one, it was much smaller and he received more attention, we never had another problem!

Something seems wrong with this situation. If your son doesn't behave this way at home what is causing him to resort to this type of behavior? I'd want to be a fly on the wall. Do you think the teacher could be mistreating him? If your gut tells you to put him in a different school than listen!
~K.

I would find out how they react to the hitting at school and really talk to the teachers and try to come up with a way to handle it there before changing schools.
I would also talk to him about it at home and try to find out why he is acting this way and give him the words to use when he gets frustrated so he does not need to hit.
A 3 1/2 year old is lot smarter and able to handle problem solving better than we think...they just need a bit of coaching.
blessings, K.