Help! My Son Has Developed a Sudden Fear of the Bathtub!

Updated on February 23, 2009
A.H. asks from Omaha, NE
19 answers

Hi Moms,
My son is 14 1/2 months old and has always loved bath time. I usually put him in his crib while I get everything ready, but the other day let him be in the bathroom with me while I filled up his tub. Even though the water was loud and rushing out of the faucet, my son did not seem fazed by it and I thought nothing of it. However, when I undressed him and started to sit him down in the water, he screamed and cried and clutched onto me like crazy! The water was not too hot and he didn't have any open scrapes or sores that might have stung when it touched the water, so I am guessing it was fear of the loud faucet turning on again that was causing this issue.
I basically just dried him off and dressed him and have tried each day since to coax him back into the water. I don't want to force him because I don't want him to be fearful of water, but the boy needs a good scrubbing! He did let me sponge bathe him standing up yesterday before he peed in the water effectively ending bath time so I could sanitize everything.
If anyone has been through something similar, I am open to any and all suggestions. We can't keep doing this for much longer. His dirty hair is driving me crazy!

Thanks!
A.

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all of the great responses! My husband helped me give Hayden a bath this morning. He still cried a bit, but we just did a "turbo wash" and got him in and out of there quickly! I know he felt better afterwards because he had to feel cleaner than he has been all week! I will go out and get him some new tub toys, look into a bath mat-he might like it better if he was in the actual tub now instead of his big tub I set down inside- and possibly have his Dad get in the tub with him. My son might really like that too!
Thanks again! I am going to try ALL of the wonderful tips given.
A.

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E.S.

answers from Madison on

I'm glad you got so many responses, I just wanted to drop a note to say you don't have to disinfect everything because he peed in the bathtub. Poop, yes, Pee, not a big deal.

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L.S.

answers from Appleton on

My 3 1/2 year old daughter went through that last summer. There were a few baths where she just screamed, but I ended up finding a Dora mermaid video (she watched Dora occasionally and really seemed to like it). It still took a bath or two after that, but she started to pretend she was a mermaid and now likes baths again. I know he may be a bit young for something like that, but something similar might help! Good luck!

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T.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

That is a common fear at that age and I don't think it has anything to do with the water going into the tub I think it is more just of the tub and water in general. Our son always enjoyed his bath and about that age he started spazing out during the bath and the baths became a 2 person job and were done within 5 minutes, basically in wash rinse and out. If he doesn't have toys in the tub that may help or else maybe get him a new special toy for in the tub. Right after the fear of the tub came the fear of the shower and he is just now getting to the point where he is getting more comfortable with it. I think it is from watching my husband and I taking our showers. Good luck

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T.C.

answers from Omaha on

I know you're received a lot of wonderful advice. I just wanted to let you know that the same thing happened with my son when he was about the same age. It was a phase that lasted for a couple of months, and then just kind of went away. I'm sure this will soon be a distant memory for you as well! :)

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E.B.

answers from Duluth on

I think there's something about the age developmentally--I'm trying to remember what it is--but something about noises, the drain, depth perception--something like that--that can really disconcert children of that age. I've even noticed some of it in my son, who about 2 weeks ago LOVED the bath and now freaks out a bit. He doesn't like the noise of the drain (I had him in with me, and the high water drain makes a slurping noise) and he gets very upset if there are pieces of dirt in teh water with him--if he poops in the tub, he freaks out as soon as he sees it (guess I would too...) but even the cake crumbs--the reason for the bath--made it so he wouldn't sit down. Anyway--things to try--I think the experts say not to force it; try a bath in the sink (I know, he's probably big, but it's worth a shot...), you can wash his hair with a little water and then take your time getting soap out with a moderately wet rag...try showering with him, or bathing with him...try a very small amount of water in the tub...good luck!

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J.L.

answers from Davenport on

My son too, for whatever reason, started freaking out at tub time at around 13 months. Since he was clinging to me, I climbed in with him, sat down, let him stand and cling, and sang to him while I rubbed my fingers across his temple (something that he's always respinded to). I had a couple of toys he liked in there and after he stopped screaming I turned him around and sat him down on my lap, keeping an arm around his belly for security. As bath time went on he seemed to forget his fear and have a little fun. That first bath I used the rag to at least get the top-back portion of his head wet and shampoo and rinse, I didn't want to get it in his eyes and have to start all over. I think I did this 2 more times, each time he was more comforable. and then he was ready to go again on his own, with me kneeling a the edge playing with him. A little Mom security goes a long way. Good Luck!

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A.M.

answers from Appleton on

I didn't read all of the posts, but my daughter did the same thing around the same time. Someone suggested to me to buy a rubber mat for the bottom of the tub. We didn't have one at the time, and she was trying to stand and was scared to fall. I got her a cute Elmo one from Babies R Us, and ever since she has loved the bath again. Worth a shot...Good Luck!

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A.N.

answers from Madison on

Maybe you just need to try to bathe him in the kitchen sink for awhile - it may just be the bathtub is really big to him.

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J.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

It must just be a developmental phase. Our daughter did the same thing for no reason. It eventually passed. I think they just become more aware of their surroundings and what they can or cannot control. Don't force him just try to make it fun. Try seeing if he would like to bath in the sink or in the wash tub if yours is not in the basement of course. Or our daughter like sitting in her brothers baby tub in the big tub. But it will pass.

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J.C.

answers from Madison on

Thank you for asking this question! My almost 14-month old son just started doing the same thing and I was upset! He was always my water baby (even born in water!) so I was shocked that he didn't like his bath all of a sudden! Reading other people's responses reminded me of what helped with my older son. He was always terrified of water but it reach panic-attack level around 1-2. I got him a stuffed Elmo that is made to go in water, and some bath crayons. That helped. Coloring the water with little color tablets also helped. He still freaked out if I washed his hair, so I kept that to a minimum (maybe once a week unless needed sooner). Oh! They other thing that helped was buying this little inflatable bathtub that sits in the big bathtub. He felt safer and more secure. It was really cute. He always got better around the summer when he would play in the pool a lot, then within a month or so he would start getting scared of the bathtub again. At 4 he now loves taking a bath but still freaks out at the thought of washing his hair. He's got to outgrow that eventually. I try to let him have as much control as possible. We dry his hands, and he covers his eyes with his hands. I have him look up at the ceiling (pretend he's watching the stars) and I try to get as little shampoo in front as possible so i don't need to use as much water there. It helps and we can usually wash him hair without tears now. Seeing how much his younger brother loved the bath (until now) also made the 4 year old realize it might not be so bad!

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J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I am no expert on this matter but did go through an almost similar issue with our child. I would make a game of it with him if you can so as to distract his "irrational" fear associated with the bathtub and whatever it was. I would at another time discuss with him and let him verbalize his fears and then maybe do some type of ceremony to put it to "rest". Like this cup of water was from the faucet and we will fill up with your fear and then either flow it down the drain or let it evaporate like magic.
And my child thinks the noise of the water rushing relates to a monster sound so that maybe what he scared of.

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J.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

My daughter did the same thing. If you don't have a bathmat try buying one. We did that and it calmed her fears and she was fine again.

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B.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would try letting him "help you" fill up the tub and get everything ready. He can turn on the water, etc. Then get his favorite bathtoy, or any toy that could get wet and ask if he wants to take his friend "Ducky" in to take a bath with him. He could give Ducky a bath. Anything to get him in that tub. My little boy went through a phase where he didn't want to take a bath either. Maybe he just needs some new bath toys or some incentive to make him think it's "fun" to take a bath. Good luck!

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S.N.

answers from Minneapolis on

Our son started doing this and after 2 tries, we figured out he had an ear infection...no other symptoms, just the screaming and fit at bathtime. He LOVED bathtime after we started meds! Not sure if it is the same, but might be!

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J.F.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hello, My son was the same way about water. have you tried an adjustable shower head? the noise isn't as loud as the tub and you can usually adjust the setting so the spray is softer on the skin. My son likes to feel the stream in his hand. then he's fine for washing. Also being that he's getting a little older now, I'm not sure what age kids start to dream at. but my son had quite a few dreams of drowning in water. Kids so young can't tell whats real from fake. How You can figure out something that works for him.

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D.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Our son went through this too at about the same age, actually... My husband and I just tag-teamed and had him stand in the tub, washed him down quickly, washed and rinsed his hair and done. He cried the whole time, but we just did it as fast as we could. After a few weeks, he seemed to get past it and has been fine ever since with no onset of bathtime fears. So just know that in time this too shall pass!

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

My son went through a phase like that. Unfortunately it took him months to get over it. In the meantime we did what we could to get through it. We used food coloring once to change the color of the water, we periodically tried to add new bath toys to lure him in, we tried showering/bathing with him, and we bathed him a little less frequently (every other day or every 2 days). After time, he grew out of it, and it seemed like over night he fell in love with bath time again. I don't think any of our methods necessarily changed his mind on bathtime, but it made us feel like we were doing something about the situation. I think it just took him to grow out of it...it could have been a bit of a power struggle situation as well. Good luck, and hopefully he'll grow out of it before summer and you're around water a lot. (My son was still in his phase when we were in Hawaii, it made for very long beach days. He was petrified of the waves, and even the pool.)

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J.L.

answers from Milwaukee on

My daughter did the same thing. My husband got in (with his boxers on) with her just that one time and then she seemed to get over it quick.

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E.O.

answers from Sheboygan on

Our daughter went through this and it was difficult....I know what you mean about the dirty hair. I do not know what your situation is, but my husband & I would work together to get the bath taken as quickly as possible. It was hard because she cried and screamed, but we knew she was ok....Then one day when I was at the store with her, we went through the infant/children's section together and I let her pick out some bathtoys....the ones that really helped were some foam letters & numbers that would stick to the tub walls when they got wet.

I would say just keep working with your son....I know it is hard, but sometimes as parents that is our job. God's blessings to you and your family!

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