Can't Travel for Holidays Because of Pregnancy.

Updated on October 21, 2010
J.B. asks from Huntley, IL
17 answers

I'm due Christmas day with baby #2, which means we can't travel for Thanksgiving(which is also my birthday this year) or Christmas. My husband and my family live far away, so just looking for ways to make the holidays feel like the holidays without traveling to see family. Should we try to have something here with both sides of the family or is that too much right before baby gets here?

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M.L.

answers from Houston on

I would say lucky you! Lol! I've always wanted to just STAY HOME and make it special for my kids. Enjoy, you will make great memories, especially if baby is due ate Christmas time!

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Congratulations !

Our daughter was due around Christmas and we did not travel. We never have been on the road at Christmas because that is "our family time".

However, we are not close with our families and we love our own traditions we have created for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Take it easy and get ready for that special baby!! Create some new traditions of your own for your family and children.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Why can't you travel for Thanksgiving?
I would invite family. Is your mom coming to help with the baby?

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Stay home, relax and just call people.

T.M.

answers from Bakersfield on

I think I would take this Holiday season off, and just spend it with Hubby and child. Business as usual NEXT year ;) I'm sure everyone will understand.... if you are up to hosting at your home go for it, I sure wouldnt be tho. Since you are so close to your due date, it might be best to stay away from the kissy/huggy crowds this year just to be healthy for delivery time.
I would send family a nice Christmas card just letting them know how much you will miss them this year and that you are already anxious for next years holiday season.

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S.T.

answers from New York on

Wow - such a happy and yet a little sad time! I don't know about you - but if my sister or mother could come they would insist on doing alot of the cooking. Nor sure about your inlaws. So if you could have a family member for each holiday it would be so nice.

But as the years go by and your babies grow up you're going to want to establish your own family traditions anyway - this could be the forced beginning of that. Think of the traditions that are special from your childhool and ask your husband for the ones from his childhood. Find ways to incorporate them so you both feel like it's the holidays. Ask both sets of parents for a special Christmas tree ornament from your childhood that would mean alot to see on your tree.

If neithef family is able to come then invite friends who are also alone in your town - maybe neighbors, friends from church or work. There are always a few lonely souls who look for a family to share the holidays with. If you do so - suggest that each guest to bring a dish that MUST be on their holidday table in order for it to feel like the holidays - you'll get to try all these different dishes.
You're a new little family now - and you're establishing those times that your children will look back to as their family traditions - how special is that?

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J.C.

answers from Lincoln on

Go ahead and invite them to come visit you. If you are a social person (which it sounds like you are) then you will probably really enjoy it. Plus, all that extra activity may help you go into labor on time. :-)
Who knows all your visitors might get a Christmas "Gift" which would make the day even more special.

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T.H.

answers from Kansas City on

I agree with asking them to come to you and have them do all the cooking and cleaning up or have it catered! Seriously, it's a time when you should be around family, not to mention that you're so emotional right now that you may have a breakdown if you guys are by yourselves when you're used to traveling. I would talk to the family and see who can make it. Ask them to do the brunt of the work, which trust me, they will anyway...especially if it's your birthday too!

Is your mom planning on coming to be with you after the baby is born? If so, maybe she can come early and help you with Christmas dinner, etc. You probably don't want to do anything with a lot of people for Christmas b/c so close to your due date you do not want to have people lingering around your house. BUT, and I'm serious, you could totally go out to eat on Christmas if you're still pregnant. Make it easy on yourself, but I'm a big supporter of family and wanting them close, so see if you can make it work!

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

For my 2nd child and now pregnant with my 4th, I have/had the same issue(s). For the last 15 years, my husband and I have hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve for our friends and few family members that live here. Being due the beginning of January for #2 and #4 I had every intention of hosting these holidays as usual. Ultimately, when it came down to it, I was plum out of energy to do any of it so we canceled. No one else hosted it in my stead so we just had our little family celebrate together. It was absolutely wonderful, peaceful, and memorable. We all loved it.

I fully intend on doing the same thing this year because of my pregnancy and cannot wait. I say you just enjoy it together and worry about getting together with family next year. I think if people want to travel to see you, then great but you need to make sure they intend on doing everything. You should be kicking back and awaiting your new arrival.

Good luck and congrats!

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know how comfortable everyone is with technology, but my husband just got a web-cam and we're setting it up so we can talk to family and see them online :) Our family is in FL and PA.

Maybe if you can all get the video's set up, you can have dinner "together" by video!

Take this time to relax and celebrate with your hubby. It'll be the last relaxing holiday season you'll have! LOL

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

eh...I'd still travel for thanksgiving:) Otherwise, I'd invite any friends and family who want to come. I don't think it would be too much for me, but I'm pretty laid back. Only you know if you can handle it! Get others to help prepare parts of the meal so you aren't doing it all. And see if some of your family can stay with friends so you don't have to house all of them.

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C.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Keep it simple. I love getting together with my family it still one of my favorite things to do...but if there close to delivering it might be something your just not able to do.
Maybe discuss visting in the spring. After flu season and it will be easier to travel.

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L.W.

answers from Cincinnati on

OMG I could have posted this in 2008. I was due on 12/18. and NONE of my family lives here. They all live anywhere from 350-550 miles away. What we did is we had Thanksgiving at my house with one family. I hired a maid service to come AFTER they left so my house was clean (worth the price) and when they were here, THEY brought food to cook for the weekend. They were really good about not letting me do much work (even though I tried) hubby did the turkey, mom in law did stuffing and dessert, sister in law made 3 sides. Everything that was left over we made a big thing of soup and froze the rest into baggies for individual meals. It was GREAT because I didnt have to cook for WEEKS. Then for my mom and dad, I skipped Christmas (I actually came home from the hospital on Christmas eve with the baby) my mom and dad came on 01/01/2009 and stayed for a couple weeks to help me with the baby...It was nice them coming AFTER wards because you are all wrapped up with having the baby and then its nice to be alone with your little one...but then after a couple weeks you will be wanting some help with the house chores, meals etc....because those tiny babies sure are alot of work (well for me it was)
CONGRATS, Happy Birthday, and Good luck!!

EDIT...also wanted to add that seeing family while you are prego is a nice thing. They can see you prego and it helps them bond with your little baby..

Also wanted to add that AFTER I had my baby, we traveled to my inlaw house (same ones who were at my house for turkey day) after the baby was 2 months old so they could see the baby before I went back to work in March.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

I think it sounds like too much - and if you have to prepare for all those people and then you deliver early, then what? I'd have one set of family for T-giving and the other set for Christmas, with the understanding that you may have to cancel. If there are a ton of people, then don't. You could ask your church or local senior center if there are people who need a place to go - bringing one or two others into your home can be a nice way to share the true spirit of the holidays..

Call them on the phone on the holidays, or Skype if you can - they will understand that the baby and you come first! Think of the gift you will be giving them! And you need your rest.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

My family and I we do "thanksmas" and we do it WHENEVER I can get out to California. We have had Thanksmas in July, this year we actually get to have it right between both holidays so I am having 3 back to back!! So really you do not have to do anything big this year just have you own Thanksmas (get the turkey now if you have room in a freezer though) later when everyone can get together then.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

My parents were actually in this situation just before my middle sister was born (early January). We couldn't fly to be with the extended families for Christmas and my parents were feeling very disconnected. So they started their own tradition of throwing a potluck party between Thanksgiving and Christmas and 28 years later, the party has morphed into a New Year's Eve party with 100+ guests and family members.

It never was and never will be a fancy party- everyone brings a dish to share and there is always tons of good food, good drinks and friends who have become family. Paper goods, beer, wine, soda and a festively decorated house... you don't need much else!

Sometimes you have to create a new tradition when the old ones just don't work anymore. Happy early holidays and enjoy your soon-to-be addition!

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

If you want to host them then sure invite them over. If you can't see them call and talk tot hem. I'm sorry I don't have better advice.

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