Can't Get 4 Month Old to Sleep by Herself

That's really tough, especially because she hasn't ever been in her bed. From that point, I don't have experience, but I did have a terrible time around four months getting my baby to sleep by herself. She had been accustomed to falling asleep at the breast, and then she kinda changed her schedule on me, so I knew something had to be done - when the sun went down, I couldn't put her down. We actually tried the Ferber method, which was heart-breaking, but it worked. In your case, I would go really slowly, maybe moving one more step away every couple of nights. Make sure you set her down before she's fully asleep, then just stay with her, rubbing her back. After that is working, try just sitting in the room, singing, to let her know you're there. Then, start leaving the room, only going in at intervals to let her know you're there for her. Of coursem all this rests on whether she cooperates. Read about "Ferberizing". It really works, but it is hard at first - works fast, though. It really is a personal choice. And on the other hand, unless you are just READY to get her down alone (like I was), she's so little, she will sleep alone eventually, and if you want to rock her to sleep every night, do it. Very personal. My daughter is now three, and she sleeps with me often, just for the sake of cuddling. I know I'm all over the place, but I hope it helps. Also, pediatricians have great advice. And, if you haven't already, sign up at BabyCenter.com - they have advice about everything.

well, I have heard of putting the baby bed by your bed, right by it, and slowly moving it to the door. and then sleeping in the room a night or so with the baby. And they get use to being in their room.

you are right on to get this solved now. I have heard of some pretty difficult transitions when the babies are toddlers and havent been moved.

hope this works

theres nothing wrong with letting her sleep with you unless she is keeping you awake. If you HAVE to switch her make sure she is not over tired before you put her down and put her down with swaddled in a blanket that smells like you, wear one in your shirt for the day and it should pick up your smell so she has it still there with her.

my daughter tryed that and all i could do was let her cry and eventually she got to where she would go on to sleep no problem i dont know if that will work but you may have to try it

first of all... don't beat yourself up for doing what you have to do to get some sleep. With both of my kids I kind of got serious about sleeping in their cribs at around 6 months. I used the cry it out (Ferber) method, which wasn't as mean as it sounds because it really didn't take long to work. However, even Ferber doesn't recommend this method until 6 mos. Good luck.

Hi. I started to make the transition with my son around the same time, 4-5mos. I would lay him in his crib when he slept during the day and eventually started laying him in his crib when it was bedtime, although there were several nights where he woke up and ended up back in our room. They will cry at first but it really is temporary. I couldn't stand to hear the crying either so my husband turned the monitors off and we went outside and played w/our dog for a few minutes. By the time we came back in he was asleep and I wasn't a nervous wreck. To be honest, there are times where I miss that bonding with my son sleeping in our room! Enjoy it!

Hi, T.. I read somewhere that if you take a shirt or some item of clothing of yours and wear it for a day to get your scent on it, then place it in the crib with your baby, it gives them the false sense of you being there. I did that with my son when he was about the same age, and it worked. I had been letting him sleep with me b/c of nursing, it was easier. I slept in a t-shirt for a night or two and then placed it in his crib. He has been sleeping in his room ever since. He is now 2 yrs. old. Good luck, I hope this helps.

Hey T., I am thinking from my own experience with my daughter that if you and her and daddy are happy in the bed, go with it. Every child is different just like every parent. I wish my one yr old baby would still sleep with me, I miss her so much at night. I kept her in our bed and in a bassinet right beside me until she didn't fit anymore, about 5 months old. Then I tried to keep her by me and dad exclusively in bed but she flips and flops so much she woke up a million times. So I gradualy moved her into her bed but kept it in our room until she was really comfortable and knew mom would be there if she needed me. Then I moved her bed to her room and she felt more comfortable b/c of the familar surroundings of her crib and I strongly recommend a consistant bedtime routine( like dinner, bath, lotioning/dressing and quiet play to the same soothing cd). Plus if she woke I would calm her without getting her out of the bed, hugging, soft padding- umming- singing etc.(this I recommend to start while she is in her crib even in your room) It takes alittle longer but I feel like, do what is less stressful on you and your family first, if your happy everybodies happy. Try not to compare yourself to other moms you know or listen to "advice" that you don't in your heart feel right about. I am also a new mom,stay at home, 23 and have gone through some of the things I think you may be feeling. Lack of confidece in your own decisions can drive you CRAZY especially when your a full time mom and that is where you find like 95% of your validation and self worth. I read that you miss your "you time". Even though this message is really long now I feel that it is important for you to pick one thing big or small and fo it everyday. Add more when you can. I just started doing that after Marlie, my daughter, turn one. I really wish I would have started sooner. We are all much happy and healthier. Sincerely, N.

Try putting a shirt that you have worn over her like a blanket when you put her in her crib or bassinett, the smell of you may give her comfort when you are not laying beside her.

Start out by doing little baby steps. Move her to a playpen next to your bed. That way she still has the comfort knowing you are right here. When she gets comfortable with that, then move her to her room. It might take a little for her to get use to it, but she will. She might cry for a while (15-30 min), but she will eventually go to sleep. Persistence is the key. Good luck.

Hi! I am also having that same problem getting my 5 month old son to sleep on his on. I sometimes let him get real tired and fussy, rock him a bit, then lay him in his bed. It has worked a couple of times. That is worth a try.

Hi T.,
Try this if you have room:
Put up a portable playpen/crib right next to your bed on your side, as close as you can to you. Some of the portable playpens have removable bassinets/cradles so your baby will be up high. She should still be little enough to use this feature. If you don't have a playpen like this, try to get one. It's a great purchase. You should be able to find one for under $60. They fold up & some have carrying cases, so you can take them on trips & to other people's houses when you visit. You could also buy a "co-sleeper" but they are much more expensive & this works just as well. I used it for both my babies.
Try to get her to sleep in this instead of in your bed. When she wakes up, she'll see you. And while she's sleeping, she'll still be able to hear you & smell you. You should also be able to reach out & touch her without getting out of bed.
If your goal is to get her into another room, give it a little time. Let her get used to this sleeping arrangement. Then you can gradually move the playpen further & further away from you, but do this very slowly - just a few inches each night.
If your goal is just to get her into her own bed, then you're already there! I have a 3-1/2 year old and a 15-month-old, and they both still sleep in my room with me. They are each in their own bed, not in mine. I like it this way. I am right there for them if they need me in the middle of the night, & I know they are safe. They are growing up so quickly, I treasure this time with them, & I know it will be over all too soon.
I hope this idea helps. Good luck & enjoy your time with your little one.

Hello. My baby girl slept with me until she was 18 mos and she sleeps alone beautifully in her crib all night now. She had no probalms transitioning to her own bed. Don't feel pressured to move her unless it's something you really want. I just read your comment about you know you shouldn't let her sleep with you. Just remember she is your baby and the decision is yours. But if you really want her in her crib, try bringing it in your room. Another thing I did was put my baby in her crib to fall asleep and if she woke up during the night I would go get her and bring her in with me. But we only had to do this a few nights. Hope this helps and good luck!

Please get yourself a copy of The Baby Book by Dr Sears. I have co-slept with both of my children and I find it to be really wonderful. Dr Sears says that there is no "bad" sleeping arrangement so long as everyone is getting sleep and I agree. My oldest slept with me until she was 16 mo and even then I was sad that she wasn't in bed with me anymore. Of course it was necessary because she was taking up the entire bed and needed her own space to sleep in LOL. Enjoy the time that your baby is in your bed and she will let you know when she is ready to wean from your bed. The Baby Book also offers advice as to what to tell people when they ask "Does she sleep thru the night?" or "Isn't she in her own bed yet?" or my favorite "You'll never get her out of your bed now!" and "You are spoiling that baby!" First of all the questions are none of anyone else's business and the critisism is both unwarranted and unwelcome. You will not spoil her by cuddling her at night (especially if you are both getting the sleep you need) and you will get her out of your bed when both of you are ready. Good luck with whatever you decide!

I also have a 4 month old girl. Sometimes it helps her to settle in when I put her on her side with blankets tucked against her on both sides and her pacifier with her "lovey"(small blanket) run through the ring. The lovey gives her something to hold the pacifier in, and the blankets against her make her feel secure. She's usually off to dreamland within 20 minutes. Hope this helps.
-K.

Hi T.,

Your four month old is looking to you to provide comfort and safety. She needs a consistent routine so that she can anticipate what's the plan is for her day. Make sure anything you do whether you're changing her diaper, feeding her, bathing her, getting her ready for bed, that you make eye contact with her, and you are talking to her. Babies are amazing this way, as they absorb their environment.

You should have a set routine with her, bath time, diaper, pajamas, feeding (make sure you nurse/bottle feed her about 30 minutes prior to going to bed, this way when she wakes up she's not lookng for milk immediately), let her know that you're getting ready for nightie-night. Her room should be ready for her with a night light and the same lullaby music each night. lay her down sleepy, but awake. Tell her you love her and say goodnight. She will cry initially, and you should give her 2-3 minutes to work through this new experience. If she's still crying, go in and quietly rub her back tell her she's okay, it's time to go to sleep. Leave the room and wait another 3-4 minutes. She should learn this routine and be to sleep on her own within two to three nights.

T., the key to your success is do not give in to your own fatigue and put her in your bed! I know you're tired, and it's easier, not to mention it feels good to sleep with your baby, but you will feel a great sense of accomplishment to give your daughter this structure. You can also implement this same model for other routines.

Enjoy your baby girl, I hope this helps. Keep in touch!

J.

T.,
Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is stick her in her crib & let her cry it out. It is hard & nerve racking but it is something you have to do.

With both my sons, I made it a point to just lay them in their crib to get them to sleep vs rocking them. Now, I would rock them if they were upset but I made it a point not to rock them...I tried to let them fall asleep on their own. My oldest son slept with us off & on but I loved it b/c I knew at some point he would not ever want to sleep with us so savor those moments also. My second son (13 months old) has never slept with us even when I have tried to get him to. He is so attached to his crib which is a good & bad thing. Give her a couple of nights & try to get her to sleep in there during the daytime & she will get the hang of it.
Good luck!

Crying it out didn't work for my daughter. The best advice I could give is to get The No Cry Sleep Solution. I started reading it when she was around 4 -5 months old. She had been in a cradle in our room. I moved the cradle to her room and had her sleep there for a while and then moved her to her crib. She is now four and has been sleeping alnight by herself since she was a year old. This book was wonderful.

with all 3 of my kids ive rocked them to sleep and all of them have slept with me until between 12M-2yrs then gone to their own bed w/o a problem they are 4,3,and 8wks

I have a daughter the same age who just starting sleeping in her room last week. I thought it would be difficult too. During the day let her start playing in her crib, try to get her to take naps there too, this way she get familiar and comfortable there. Then at night rock her to sleep or whatever it is you do to get her to settle down at night. The first night I fed her until she fell asleep and then I rocked with her to make sure she was good and out and then I put her in bed. I lay her on her side, she sleep best this way and if your is rolling over yet then you really can't control the position she sleeps in. I know SIDS is a big issue but at this point I feel pretty confident that she will be okay considering she's done so well this far. They I just pray and ask God to watch over her for me. I hope this helps and good luck.

Truthfully, put her in her bed and let her cry, it is hard but it is alot better than what I dealt with when my son was a baby. He wouldn't leave my bed until he was almost five years old. Not a good thing, you get no personal life that way.

dont worry hunn my daughters almost 2 and i could never get her too sleep by herself either and i still have trouble pepole tell me that she will grow out of that stage thanks@