I'm a dad, looking for a mom's perspective. I have joint custody of three kids, 8,9, &12, and I also have the right to determine primary residence. I also have a geographical to the county and the surrounding counties. Long story short, can she prevent me from moving to the next county if my divorce decree says I'm allowed to? When I brought up the possibility of moving, she said it was unreasonable for her to drive 30 minutes to drop off the kids for school every time she has the kids. We share custody...one week on, one week off. I am NOT trying to take her away from the kids. I'm currently driving 2 hours to work in the Metroplex (which is where all of our families from and currently residing), we have zero family in my current city, so I'd like to be able to shave 30 minutes off my drive each way in order to have more time with the kids. Another tidbit, my current wife live in the Metrolpex, as well, and I'd like to be closer so the kids and I can see her once or twice a week for dinner on the weeks I have the kids. (I have a house in the Metroplex because my wife has a geographical restriction as well) Part of me wants to tell her, she shouldn't have moved out of the house three years ago and left me with the kids to move in with her girlfriend....but I really want what is best for the kids. She is active in the kids lives, but she is about to move into her 4th house in three years due to her financial limitations. So...until I can get to a point to where I can get a modification of the restriction and move to the Metrolplex....can she prevent me from moving to the next county since it is in the divorce decree that I CAN move there? And is thirty minutes too far? I already pay her $500 on a volunteer basis to help her with the kids and I have no issue driving 30 minutes to pick them up. Thanks in advance for your feedback. God Bless
You sound like a great dad and she blew it by leaving the family home. For me 15 years ago I could have legally moved anywhere, morally and in the best interest of my daughter I never would...we remain one mile apart. Works for us.
**added - I wouldn't want my kids schlepped around half of their lives, since it is "one week on, one week off" that's what it would be. 50/50 sounds pretty active in my opinion.
If the decree says that you can do it, then it seems that you can. And 30 minutes is not ridiculous at all. Good luck to you.
I know a father who has to drive 30-45 minutes several times a week to pick up his daughter, so it is all relative.
I say this in regard to your ex. If it's allowed in your decree, you can do this.
Especially if it will make things better for your present marriage. Your ex made her choice--you get to choose too!
Good luck!
Sounds like you're clear about what's in your divorce decree, so you don't really need our perspective about what you CAN do, as much as confirmation about what you SHOULD do.
Really, no custody agreement can EVER restrict ANYONE from moving ANYWHERE... what it can restrict is taking your children with you. If she wanted to fight you on the move (which it sounds like she can't because your decree allows it) her argument couldn't be that you can't move. He only option would be the argue that given your move, it's in the children's best interest to modify the custody arrangement and change the time the spend with each of you.
That being said, it's probably also time for both you and your new wife to petition for modifications to your custody arrangements to reflect your new family situations.
Good luck,
T.
She can take you to court for whatever she wants, it is up to the judge what can actually be done.
I have never seen a decree that doesn't roughly spell out how far you can move without petitioning the court. On mine it is over 100 miles.
If the decree says you can move to that area, then you can move to that area. If she wants to throw a fit, point to the decree.
Also, 30 minutes to drive is not that big of a deal. God forbid my DH and I were to divorce, I know he'd move closer to work. It would take 30-45 minutes (on a good day) to get to that area to either drop off, or pick up the kids. That isn't unreasonable to me. (And that 30-45 minutes is still within the same city!)
I would simply refer to your divorce and custody decree. That is what's binding. If it limits how far you can actually go, then stay within that radius. You're not moving out of the country, just out of the county. And yes, this will be a slight hassle for her but it will be better for the children since you have primary custody and primary residence. She doesn't even have a stable residence or stable finances, so she likely won't take you to court over this. She could try, but I doubt she'll win. She would have had to have agreed to the terms of the decree before so I can't imagine that a judge will side with her now.
30 minutes is not too far for her to drive. If she wants to see and spend time with her children, she'll do whatever it takes. Especially since you're basically giving her gas money and then some ($500 that she should really be paying you in child support? You're very generous).
(I am not a lawyer)
If the divorce decree says it is allowed, it is allowed. 30 minutes is not too far to drive. I have a friend that drives 1 1/2 hours each way through 4 counties to see his kids.
If the decree allows it, then you can do it. 30 minutes really isn't all that long of a drive. Good luck getting your decree sorted out so that everyone can be a bit closer!
To me, this all sounds fairly reasonable. It seems like you've thought about it, weighed the pros and cons and think this is the best move. I say go for it.
God bless you too...I believe she can if she doesn't want the children moved out of the county. You sound like a very good father and nice man...please check with your local custody laws and/or get written permission from your former wife and get it done with an attorney or notary.
I echo everyone else. Btw, my ex and I have 50/50 physical custody and it takes him 25ish minutes to drive him to school on his days. 30 minutes is nothing.
No, I don't think she can stop you if you are allowed to in the Parenting Plan/Divorce Decree.
I say do what you gotta do and if she wants to make a fuss, let her. She wont have a leg to stand on ...and honestly, it might not hurt to inform her that she might well end up paying your attorney's fees too if she takes you to court. Especially is you are the main financial provider, you have to go where the work is and to be honest the time you are talking about isn't that bad! The real question should be, will this move impact the kids' schooling? As in, are they going to have to change schools? That would be your one major road block, IMO.
FWIW: I don't think 30 mins is that far. My husband's ex moved one county over (even though she was supposed to clear it first but didn't, we don't like to make waves) and it was a 50 min drive for us and it sucked! We eventually moved ourselves closer to her (but still in our county) and it shaved a good 30 mins off our commute. We can totally deal with 20mins each way, granted in the winter it's closer to 40mins but we are OK with that too!
Your decree is what you referr to, but by all means she can of course make it difficult.
This seems very reasonable to me.I have been divorced for 23 years and the most important thing is for the parents cooperate with each other. Keep the lines of communication open and try to be cordial with each other. Your kids will thank you for it.
She can easily take you to court.
That's a toss up on what a judge will decide.
Since it creates an hour long commute for her, a judge may decide that's undully difficult ... And you're welcome to move, but she gets primary on the kids and they stay in school where they're at.
Or a judge may say sick it up and drive.
I'm ALLOWED to move anywhere with 30 days notice. I'm not allowd to take my son with me, nor change his schooling without agreement.
She will probably want to take this to court and the judge will decide if what you want to do is reasonable.
Make sure you have your argument as to why it's the best thing for the kids in writing and ready for the judge to easily see.
She may not take you to court, it depends your finance dynamics.
In writing, if it seems reasonable and the best thing for the kiddos, there will be no argument but possibly a delay, so count for that.
Both of my sisters and my mom got divorced here in Texas and they were both allowed to move anywhere within the state of Texas, they just couldn't move out of state without consent. That was about 10 years ago... so maybe things have changed? One of my sisters moved to New Mexico but obviously it was with consent and actually the father's family lived in NM. Ive never heard of not being able to move counties.
Good luck and welcome to Mamapedia
I live in another state, however when I first read this I went ohmygoodness he wants to move to another country???aND THEN I saw it again. Another county? Why not? why couldn't you? Same state, so you aren't crossing state lines, not much changing other than hopefully your work commute and well yes you better check legally but those are my thoughts, it is probably not a problem legally. But check okay!!! Just call legalaid or your courthouse in the area, or some divorced dads hotline. Seriously, moving to one different county should not be a problem. State, yes, country, yes, but here for us, A COUNTY well, the county line here is just a couple of blocks away. And actually my ex moved to a different county when the kids were in school and it never even occurred to me to make that an issue.
