Hello mamas!
My darling, fiercely energetic and independent about to be 20 month old son REFUSES to brush his teeth right now. He was good for a tiny while, I'd sit him on the bathroom sink counter and sing a song and he would brush away (asking "more! more! for the Thomas the Tank Engine toddler toothpaste), but lately he gets upset when we even bring it up. Starts saying, nooo, whining and crying. Trying to get him up on the counter is impossible, trying in the bathtub (which was also ok for a while) is impossible. I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it...but my husband and I have tried a bunch of the no-fails and have failed (matching color toothbrushes, cookie monster and thomas the train character toothbrushes, offering to let him brush our teeth, making it fun, singing songs, reading books about beloved character brushing their teeth...the list goes on). We don't want to make it a fight, but still try daily. He has almost all of his teeth and eats everything, so I know that brushing is necessary...but, obviously am not going to pin him down and ply his mouth open...so i need suggestions.
I know there's a big bunch of mom's out there who have huge applause for the electronic toothbrushes - and I'm willing to go there - but we can't even mention brushing teeth without him getting upset, so I'm not sure how much he'd entertain any brush - regardless of electronic or not.
At this age, I don't think he'd be very responsive to bribes and/or sticker charts (he's too busy playing/exploring to care).
So, help, please.
In addition - need more suggestions on how to wean an extreme pacifier user off. I've read the "relegate it to nap/bedtime only" - but it's definitely one of his "things". Almost 45 times a day, we hear "Baba (bunny), Nuh-Nuh (his beloved pacifier, Mama (me)"...his 3 comfort items. Now, I should say, he's a very outgoing, intelligent (knows how to push my buttons), well-spoken, well-cared for and LOVED lovely little boy...and I know that in daycare they don't do pacifiers in his class (not even for naptime)...so, on the one hand, I know he can adapt and be fine without it (daycare says he's absolutely fine without it) and on the other - I feel, since he loves it and only gets it at home with us at night/morning and on weekends - guilty not giving him that comfort item when he wants it so badly. It hasn't interrupted his speech (he has TONS of words, 2 word sentences).
I'm - obviously - a push-over when it comes to my little boy...and he gets very upset when we don't let him have it (although we try very hard to distract him and forget about it - which is successful about 25% of the time)...
so - help on that too, please.
Thanks, as always!!
xoxo
Pacifier----
When my 1.5 yr old new a new baby was on the way, I told her she has to say bye-bye to the "binky" because it is for babies and the new baby will need it. The next morning I saw her put the "binky" in the toy box. I asked why she put it in their and she said, "Baby toy mommy." The next baby, sucked her thumb---whole new problem LOL!!!
I don't have any suggestions about the pacifier, sorry. BUT I do have a just turned two yr son who HATES to get his teeth brushed. In my opinion, and just to save myself the headache of dealing with it (I have an older child as well to brush and get ready every morning), we just do it the "hard way". That means we hold him down and brush like we need to. It is over and done with and we move on with our day. He will grow out of it but it is not an option to not brush! He is up to sitting nicely and opening his mouth about 50% of the time now, but it has been months of fighting! Maybe once you stop making it a big deal for him TO cooperate, he will stop making a big deal of NOT cooperating? I feel I went above and beyond in trying to accomodate my son with brushing teeth and when all of my "nice guy" stuff failed I sucked it up and just did the job however I could get it done. This has worked out the best for us. Good Luck!
On those times when you don't want to struggle and the teeth need to be cleaned, just grab a wash cloth, put some cleaning paste on it, wrap it around your index finger, and use your finger to clean the teeth. It's easier than trying to stick a toothbrush in his mouth and gets the job done. I do this with my 2 1/2 yr old and it works.
Can't help with the paci issue - my son never took one which was my issue back when, lol.
But the teeth.
We went through a period where we DID have to hold him down (on the bed, my leg thrown over him). He had to learn that brushing was not an option, he HAD to brush.
Also, don't underestimate the power of a bribe. My son got to watch a Sesame Street podcast on the computer if he brushed his teeth. Probably starting at about that age.
My son is a champ brusher now (although he still makes me hold his head). And maybe this is bad, but I let him brush in the morning and after lunch, (really any time of day that he follows me into the bathroom) but then I do the night time brushing.
Good luck!
you said it yourself--your a pushover and he knows it...even at 20 months. Trust me you want to get a handle on that now and not struggle with it when he's 13. Throw the paci in the garbage and don't look back, I don't think there is one reported case of a child dying from having the pacifier taken away. I know I sound sarcastic, but honestly you have two choices here: 1) you can let your 20 month old run your life and make the rules, but then don't complain when you have no control or 2) you can be the parent and decide what your child is allowed to do and then enforce your rules. No one ever said being the parent is easy, but its your job. Stop feeling guilty for being the mom. Teeth brushing is important (have you seen kids that have black teeth from poor dental hygiene) and can be frustrating with an uncooperative child. Stop bribing him and allowing it to be a choice. Have him sit on dad's lap and hold him in a big bear hug while you brush. Talk to him calmly and don't play into the drama---he will get it eventually.
I have just weaned my 3 year old off the dummy.
He was the same as your son.He didnt use it in the creche,just at home.
My advise would be not to be too stressed about him giving it up at the moment.He is still only 20mths,a baby.
As for brushing teeth use a stool and let him do it himself when you and your husband are brushing yours .It works for us.We dont make a fuss or pay much attention.Just say time to brush teeth.Hand him the toothbrush and have the stool ready.Be already doing yours and dont feed into it if he objects.Try to normalise it ,to make it no big deal that we brush our teeth every day.
Good luck
Positive energy
B.
I can't help with tooth brushing,but can tell you what we did for the plug, as we called it. Our daughter was about 3 when we started trying to get her to stop using it. We took it away and for 3 nights her Dad and I would go "look" for it. Of course we could never find it. We were lucky it only took 3 nights,but it worked for us.
Hi there,
I have had to hold my son down some nights to brush his teeth. That is just how it has to be. He will brush his teeth!! He also had his pacy until 21/2 I finally just stopped giving it to him one night and he did not ask for it. He did ask for it the next night but I changed the subject. You can also cut the nipple off and tell him it is broken or mail it to the babies that need the pacy. Those are some of the ways my friends used to get there kids off the pacy.
My 2.5 yr old son is ok with toothbrush time and other days..NOT at all. So I let him watch a video while I get in there, get them clean and then I hand it to him when I am done so he can try and let him feel some sense of control and ownership there:) That way I know the teeth get clean, he gets to try and while he seems to brush one tooth over and over it gets him in the habit/routine. Win win. I have had to jokingly pry his mouth open while saying 'I'm coming in and getting those teeth clean' and making it light and fun and that works after a few yells, lol. Overall the distraction while brushing works for the more stubborn days. It does get better slowly but surely. I am trying the electronic brush soon my friends all say it worked wonders with their kids.
The pacifier we quit on his second birthday...we used the boot camp approach i.e. cold turkey. After maybe 2 nights of crying for it before bed and here and there during the day it was over. I felt AWFUL since we never even considered the cry it out method for putting him to sleep, so hearing him cry for a pacifier was hard. But it really worked. I was scared he would try and use his newborn sister's paci when she arrived but he has shown zero interest in them. Phew. Good luck and in the end- the best thing is to do what you feel comfortable with so he doesn't pick up on your stress but you already know that:)
Thomas is his "thing"?
Try this "Someone told me that some people have railroad stations/tracks/sheds in their mouths...lemme see......Hey! There's Percy! Wait a minute....is that Gordon coming around this curve? Look whose in THIS shed--James, Thomas and Toby! (All the while you are brushing furiously.)
Might be worth a try. I'd get the battery toothbrush and go at it while "looking" for engines........
As for the pacifier, have you considered snipping the end? He'll get bored with it soon after.
