Breastfeeding Toddler

I breastfed my daughter until she was 18 months and then only weaned her because she lost interest. I also breastfed in public wherever I was. I was extremely lucky to be part of a breastfeeding support group and to have wonderful friends in the same position. It's really no one else's concern-I heard lots of "you're still breastfeeding???" and I would just answer "yes I am". I mean honestly, I could criticize how other parents feed their children, but I would never dare to do that-it's really none of my business. It's amazing how people feel that it is any of their business to question how long you are going to breastfeed. You just do what you feel is right-the World Health Organization is now recommending that children be breastfed into the second year of life and beyond. The data demonstrates that breastfed children have higher IQ's and are healthier so you can always pass that on to inquiring people. Good luck and hang in there!

Congratulations! My daughter is 2 1/2 and still going quite strong. Ideally I would love for her to self wean...

One of the mothering boards that I attend had this posted about how to respond to criticism so I thought I would pass it along. And if you feel that talking to other moms who have continued their bfing relationships with their little ones past 1 year of age would be beneficial to you then maybe you will stick around. :)

http://www.justmommies.com/boards/index.php?showtopic=127...

I'm still going with my 22-month old. "When we're ready" is my standard answer.

The World Health Organization recommends nursing for 2 years, so you have that to stand behind for a little while, yet. If you need more ammo/responses, a La Leche League meeting is a good place to go, especially if you can find a group that has meetings that focus on nursing toddlers.

Good for you, K.! Stick to your guns and BF as long as you want. It doesn't matter what others think or say, it's what's right for you and your family that counts.

I'm still BFing my 4 1/2 year old. Yup, you read that right. All 3 of my kids have been avid nursers and weaned when they wanted. For my first it was when he was 5. For the second it was at 3 1/2. I've been nursing continuously for the past 10 years. (Ladies, it can be done! My boobs are as flat as pancakes now, but hey, that's what bras are for!! ;) )

At this point people have stopped bothering me about BFing for so long, but I would give them the "When we're ready" line when questioned. Sometimes they needed the longer winded explanation and I'd tell them that it's good for their immune system. IBS and Crohn's disease run in my family so I want to do everything possible to help their bodies not get either disease/disorder.

My youngest, and last:( is close to being done. She nurses now when she's tired or sad. She gets some milk still but once in a while she'll tell me "this one's empty" and will move on to the other one. When she's done she'll let me know. And I know that day will be bittersweet when it comes.

Enjoy every moment and know that you are doing a good thing for both you and your son.

I went until V turned almost 2...and it was pretty much a mutual decison, she only did it when she was bored..and you should just tell people you will wean when the time is right. Honestly, most people supported me as I am sure they do you :)

You can breastfeed for as long as both you and your son want to. My son is 11 months old, and I have no plans at all about weaning. If he wants to self wean at 18 months, thats fine, and if he wants to nurse until hes 4, thats fine too.
As far as people commenting on the fact that you are still nursing, explain to them that the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding until at least age 2, preferably age 3. There are many benefits to breastfeeding, such as health benefits for your son as well as yourself. There are also emotional and psychological benefits, as breastfed toddlers have been found to be more independent, outgoing, and happy. Objections to extended breastfeeding usually stem from ignorance. It used to be thought that breastfeeding too long would, at best, create a needy child, and at worst, a pervert who will be obsessed with breasts. This is, of course, complete nonsense. Dont let other peoples ignorance influence your decisions about breastfeeding.

The World Health Organization recommends nursing till at least age two. I would just tell people that studies show he can still gain immunities from your breastmilk until the age of two and act like they're crazy for questioning you. =)

I love seeing so many positive responses to breastfeeding toddlers. I've bf all my babies; my 1st till 14 m, my 2nd till 20 m, my 3rd till 33 m and my 4th who is 35 m and still nursing. He nurses just a few times a day and I don't give it to him right away. My family are the ones who give me the most neg comments. Breastfeeding is the best thing I can do for him and that is what I tell them.

Hi K.,
First - good for you! You are doing what you feel is best for you and your child and that is outstanding.
I thought that I would nurse my 1st until she was 2ish, but at 20 months we were both ready to be done and weaning was effortless. We just knew. I had more outside activities going on, milk supply began to diminish, and my daughter was happy with other options, so I literally just suggested it to her a couple of times. I think that is how it should be. People who ask "when are you weaning?" - Floor me! Even family and close friends. It's personal and for mom's following their children's lead and their instincts - the answer is unknown, so it's frustrating. So, short and sweet - my answer has always been when my child id ready.

Keep doing what you're doing. You're doing a great job.

My DD weaned herself at a year and I wanted to keep going til she was 18 mos. So consider yourself lucky! Enjoy it while it lasts.

One or both of you will be ready at some point, and you'll know what that is. He definitely won't stop to nurse on his way down the aisle to get his diploma, so what's the big deal?

You can answer questions simply "when he's ready" or not at all - "Why does it bother you?" or "Is it important to you that it be at a certain time? or "Why do you ask?" are fine. You can and should shrug off any criticism by chuckling softly or saying "Believe me, I know exactly what I'm doing" or "I'm sure if you had more information about nursing, you wouldn't even question it" - if you feel that's necessary or appropriate. It kind of depends on who's asking - a dear friend who is curious and with whom you want to share, or a casual passer-by whose business it isn't. Sort of like strangers patting a pregnant belly or asking if you know what gender the child is or if you had been trying for a long time. I mean, why don't they just ask you what your salary is, how often you have sex, or how long your periods are?

You could also say, "Oh I wouldn't dream of burdening you with such private information." You could also just sort of look at them blankly and say, "I beg your pardon?" If they repeat the question, you could say, "Hmmm, yes, that's what I thought you said, but I couldn't believe it." Whatever you feel like!

But you DO NOT have to be defensive or justify anything. Just enjoy it.

I breastfed my daughter until she was 2 and a half. I found that most people who ask you are either:

1. moms who wish they had breastfed longer
2. the type of person who comments on your weight, your appearance or your child's behavior in a critical manner.

I tried not to let the #2's in the world impact me in any way.

I found the answer, "We're taking it one day at a time. Right now this is working well for our family." seemed to be a kind and accurate response.

Don't let other people's opinions (especially those #2's) change how you would like to raise your child.

T.
SAHM of three

Thanks for the post, I love the replies- I am still bf my nearly 18-m/o and am wondering the same thing. I certainly enjoy the relationship and don't want it to end.
Sometimes I go through bouts of being sore (esp now while he's teething) so it tests my patience, certainly.
The relationship goes both ways. My guy is naturally not a fan of milk but recently a long-time bf friend said to try warming it and flavoring it with strawberry (rather than chocolate)... it became their daughter's bed routine to have this strawberry milk. I read here once to try adding some drinkable yogurt to the milk.

Anyhow, though it's personal, I don't think you should feel bashful about nursing in public.
Many times in potentially inappropriate places, I've had a quick "pick me up" session in the back seat of the car, which is always good. Ha, that just happened yesterday when, while shopping, I was being pawed at constantly and he was exclaiming "booob" over and over again!

My worst critics are my own mother (and mother-in-law) who never breastfed (six babies altogether not breastfed, bummer!)...
I feel bad for any baby who doesn't get to experience such a natural process.

If someone asks when you are going to wean; just say you are already doing it. As soon as a child is eating/drinking something other than breastmilk, they are considered to be weaning. So you wouldn't be lying. That rude person who asked will be happy that you are doing the "right" thing, and you can make their questions stop without compromising what's right for your son.
Good luck! And be strong.
-S.

This is right up there with people who ask you private questions about family planning. (Are you done? When do you think you'll ahve another baby? etc.) They don't realize they are asking such a personal question, but they are. I usually smile and answer "when we are ready". Some people are bothered by the thought of nursing toddlers, even if they never see you nursing. I don't get it. I too do not nurse in public after about 12-14 months. Right now my 19 month old twins still like to nurse. They ask for "more". My now 4 year old nursed until she was 2 and 1/2 but then it was really cut down to a few minutes before bedtime. My oldest stopped just shy of 2 years old. I asked her if she wanted to nurse before bed one night, she said no and that was the end of it. My experience has been that you can just gradually cut down on acceptable times and the child will slowly adjust. If you are happy and he is happy there is no reason to change it. And to those who ask, simply politely say that you will cross that bridge when you come to it. Best of luck to you. Enjoy these times, they go by so quickly.

Hi K., I work full time and am just about done bf my 16 month old. Not my idea, either, she is ready. I think it's wonderful and no one's business but yours if you want to continue. People always seem shocked when I tell them I'm still nursing but to me, because she's done it every single day since she was born, when does it cross the line? Does it happen overnight? She's still the same little girl I was nursing yesterday or last month, is it suddenly too long? I took cues from my daughter that she was ready (she's too busy to sit still that long, really!), not cues from anyone else.

I'm jealous, actually!! :-)

Best of luck and Happy New Year!

We nursed until our daughter was 16 months. She weaned her self. We told friends when she is ready she will do it. If you are unconfrotable with me nursing then excuse me while i leave the room then. or something like that. She is 2 1/2 so it has been a while for us. Hope this works for you. You aer doing the best for the little man. I wish mine daughter had nursed longer. Good luck and Happy New Year to you and your family.

K.,

In this day and age there is such a funny view on bf. I nursed all three of my boys until they were 10, 11 and 12 months respectively. Society wants us to bf, as long as they don't "see" it, at least that is my view of it. Personally I was done when they seemed uninterested in it, which varied by child. The last being a year old. From all the stuff I read about it they really don't need the nutrients anymore from us after a year. So I think for you you really need to ask yourself what works best for you and your family. He should be fine with regular milk and yogurts and such for his vitamins, accompanied by nutritious meals.

Good luck! H. Z. (SAHM 5, 4 and 18 month old boys)

I nursed my daughter till she was 3 1/2 years old and she was fine in public about it. Whenever people asked I said she'll wean when she's ready to wean and she did. It's none of anyone's business anyway and sometimes I'd tell them that. It's a special relationship between you and your child and it doesn't last long so don't let anyone dictate how long it should be. Enjoy it for the special unique bond that it is.

Right now I'm nursing my 17 mo son and will continue to do so till he's decided he's done.

Enjoy!

E. P.

Hi K.! Congrats on bfing this long!! My 2 boys bf till they were 2, and I'm hoping our 8m. girl will do the same. I never thought I'd bf that long, but I wanted to until they were ready. So, that's what I told people, when we're ready! Remember you r doing what is best for u & your little one. I know you know you are, but is is always good to hear it :)
Enjoy this time! once it's gone, you will miss it!
Wishing you a Happy New Year,
M.

I nursed til 22 months. We weaned over a long period of time by slowing to just AM and PM, then just PM, then just PM before bed only on the nights I put her down to sleep (every other night switch with husband). Don't wean if you don't want to! Nursing is an unmatched experience for both you and your child. I just didn't mention it to anyone, except those I knew would be nonjudgemental, during the last months.

hi K.,

I bf my 5 yo daughter until her 3rd birthday! By the age of 2, it was limited to morning and before bed and sometimes for comfort in a stressful situation. And by her 3rd birthday she could actually understand the concept of no more "milkies" and it was very easy to wean.

I expressed my views clearly to friends and family that nursing was very healthy for us in many ways and that the world average age for weaning a child is close to 4 yo so nursing at 2 and 3 is not absurd. Just stick to your beliefs and defend it to anyone who asks. Some people gawk if you nurse a child who walks! But don't let others' opinions bother you. Keep at it and good for you!!

My daughter is 20 months and still nurses. Its mostly when she feels like it, not for physical nourishment. I also don't nurse her in public. Those who've asked I have told that she doesn't feel like stopping and she will at some point, but why stop now? She didn't take to any other comfort object (my older daughter weaned at 15 months because she had a pacifier), so what can I do? I'd prefer she stop by the time she's 2, but selfishly, I'm too lazy and can't think of a good enough reason to have her wean now. And really, I don't care what the others think. Mostly, its the other moms who judge who ended up weaning at about 3 weeks old! Can you imagine???

K.,

At 16 months old your son is perfectly normal to continue to nurse. If you take to La Leche League - www.lli.org - they will tell you the natural age for children to wean is between 3 and 5 years. That may be a little longer then you want to nurse but 16 months - well, I would continue happily nursng in your case.

L. M

If others ask, tell them that the recommended age to nurse to is two. I breastfed my second daughter until she was 20 1/2 months, and loved it. I weaned her, but you should feed him as long as you want to.

Good for you--you sound like you're a great Mom and are giving him so much immune support and emotional health. If folks ask, try saying "Well, I follow the recommendations of La Leche League, the worldwide organization, and they say to go on as long as possible until child or mother feel they are ready to stop." Or you can say "I am following my doctor's advice, who is encouraging me to feed as long as possible for the immune system benefits."

I breast fed until my son was about 2 and a half, at which point it just faded naturally when I went on a 3 day trip. (By the end it was just at nighttime, while cuddling before bed.) And by then, if it's just morning and night, nobody really needs to know anyway, and honestly, it is nobody's business but you and your partners'.

Enjoy and know that you are doing the best thing for your child! Every society in history breast fed, many for years and years into the life of the child. Here we have freedom and choice. Do what your instinct tells you!

Hi there,
Congratulations to you. My daughter is turning a year this week and I am just starting to get that. I once read that you should jokingly say "give me your phone number and I will let you know". Of course I would never do that. LOL.
I think one of the other posters on here had it right - surround yourself with supportive people. Just like with anything else some people look approvingly and others not so.....do what is right for you and your little munchkin. Looks like right here and now you have support! Go Mamma!

Congrats to you! I'm also still nursing my 16 month old. I tell people that the WHO suggests to breastfeed till 2. I had a few people make comments about it at a party we were at the other night, it is really none of their business. Definitely surround yourself with supportive people and know that you are doing what is right for your son.

I'm still nursing a 26 mo old. I plan to continue until she is ready to wean. I think we can be too quick to make them grow up on our schedule and she really won't be nursing forever. I do tend to surround myself by people who are not judgmental of bfing (that's helpful). But for the others if they ask out of curiosity I answer about the health benefits. There are plenty of health benefits for both you and DS beyond the first year. It is great insurance against the picky toddler eating (I never worry about her nutrition). I also jokingly tell people I am never going to stop bfing because the immunity benefits are great. I have had a number of bad colds/flu, etc, and DD just gets a sniffle. I also mention that nursing is the best in toddlerhood and I cannot imagine quitting prematurely. There is no better comfort for all the bumps, bruises and frustrations of toddlers. And don't forget that longer nursing is more protection for YOU against breast cancer (and I believe they are finding it protective for other diseases for both you and DS).

But if I am talking to a judgmental person who still thinks there is no merit, I would take the "Why do you ask?" approach and put it in their court.

If they still won't go away I would probably bore them to tears with a discussion on length of breastfeeding among other mammals and other cultures when babies are left to wean on their own schedule. :)

You are doing what is best for your child. Stick with it as long as it works for you and him!!

My son is 16 months and just recently he started to self wean. Kinda out of the blue. However, my sister nursed at home till her son was 3. I think your son will wean when he's ready and the health benefits far outweigh any guff you may get from others. If my son was into it, I would let him go to 3 at home..... well maybe at least 2. Just tell people what you you said in your post, "I'm happy with him bf and don't want to wean at this point." I'm trying to get mine through the winter cold season. We'll see...

Congratulations on nursing so long! I nursed both my children until age 3, have never regretted it, and plan to nurse my son (edd 2/5) well into toddlerhood as well.

My response always depended on the spirit in which the question was asked -- people who I thought were well meaning and seriously curious about why I do it and the benefits etc. would get a real answer (and I can be a bit longwinded about this sometimes -- I'm a doula and childbirth educator). Others would get flippant answers like:

Question: When are you going to stop nursing that child?
Answer: glancing down: "Oh, probably in about 10 minutes or so... she's not very hungry right now."

"Oh, I figure I'll wean him sometime before he leaves for college."

"I suppose he'll wean when he finds a pair he likes more than mine." (Okay, I'll admit I never actually used this one, but it amused me when I read it anyway."

I never avoided nursing in public, and by the second time around, people just didn't ask as much -- they kind of expected it from me. I suspect that with baby 3, I'll get even fewer questions.

Hi K.
the world wide health organization suggests breast feeding until age 2 or longer
For some reason people think that at a year we should stop breast feeding-why i don't know
since your breastfeeding at home I'm guessing it's only friends and family who see you breastfeeding and would be the ones asking. I'm a sarcastic person so I would say when did you stop drinking milk? But on a serious side the longer you breastfeed the more benefits your child have because breastmilk is good for him and it also reduces your breast cancer risk.