Breastfeeding and Weaning a Two Year Old

OMG! I am a 2nd year art therapy graduate student! Go art therapy!!! It is amazing.
Anyway- I am always glad to hear about someone who breastfeeds into the 2nd year. It's so good for children. I weaned my son a few months after he turned 2. We also do the family bed thing still (he'll be 3 in july), so I understand the nursing to bed thing. My milk production began to slow down just because he was getting older and nursing less throughout the day, which made it a bit easier. But what I began telling him (and still sometimes need tell him when he sees me without a shirt) is "Alex got to have all of Mommy's milk! You drank it all up! Good job!" I just say it really cheerfully like he should be proud of it. That way it isn't really mom taking milk away or withholding, it shows them that they are growing and maturing and got what they needed and should feel good about themselves for "finishing the job". My son always looks so content with himself after we talk about it that way. Just make sure you do this gradually continue to give lots of physical contact and kisses and hugs and stories before bed to make the transition easier.

Also, from one psychotherapy mom to another, I highly recommend the book "Our Babies, Ourselves". It puts an evolutionary psychology spin on being a mother and being a child. Not only has it helped me be a better and more understanding mother, it has been very instrumental in me understanding my clients (and humans in general!)A quick read that you won't be able to put down. Believe me- you'll start handing this book out to every mom you know!

Good luck, be gentle and patient with her, and then enjoy having your boobs back! ;-)

Been there done that as well, I nursed my first until age 2 and then I went on a cruise and stopped that way (I know I was lucky) I just stopped nursing my 3 yr old as well as stopped her binky. I too always gave in and then her being my "baby" and knowing I won't have any more children, was not 100% wanting to stop. But.... when she was almost 3 yrs old, she was better to understand that she had TEETH and I just kept complaining that mommy hurt from nursing and then I had a back pain issue, so that played into it that I couldn't hold her in the nursing position. She stopped just fine!!!!! I explained nursing was for babies w/no teeth and it worked! As far as the binky, she lost it and then started to forget about it. I was afraid to be topless in front of her after that, but she saw me one day and said oh hi nursey! I'm 3, nursey's for babies and that was it!! Good luck to you!!!!

I didn't have this problem but my sister is currently dealing with it with her 2 year old. It's been hard but I think she has her down to one feeding in the middle of the night. She's had to create major distractions and also has her husband putting her to bed. I know you're single, but maybe there is someone else she's really close to who can put her to bed for a few nights? I have another friend who just weaned her 19 month old and she was really upset for one day and then that was it, she didn't hear anymore about it. I wish you luck! Hopefully you'll get some other good suggestions.

I. - My friend had children who did not want to wean and once she was ready to wean them, she let one side dry up. She let them nurse just on the other side and explained why they couldn't nurse on the 'dry' side. After a couple of weeks, she told them that the 'milk' side had also dried up so there was no more milk.

As far as the bed issue maybe you could try nursing for a few minutes, but make sure she is awake when you finish so she can learn to drift off by herself? Or maybe move the nursing out of the bedroom where it is lighter and a bit noisier?

The thing that really caused me to respond to your question was the line that you "always give in because I don't like to see her upset". Unfortunately, this is only the first of many, many 'differences of opinion' you and your daughter will have - some of them will be private, some of them will be VERY public!

I am not an advocate of the suck-it-up mentality in any way, but it would be good if you realize now that you can't give in just because she is upset or she is going to run roughshod over you. You are the mom and right now you know what is best for her. You are going to have to remain firm even in the face of "I hate you, MOM" or "I wish I lived somewhere else".

Good luck to you and Mackenzie! Single parenting is a tough road to travel :-)

Hi I., Congratultations on nursing your baby until she turned two! That is wonderful! She is such a lucky girl! The best way to wean a toddler is gently and slowly - so the process may take a few months to complete. You should gradually replace nursing sessions with something else or shorten the length of time during which is allowed to nurse. Many mom's have luck telling their children that the "milkies" are empty or sleeping. You can also try having your significant other put her to bed while you go out and run errands. I would start by decreasing the sessions are the LEAST important to her. For instance, if the nighttime session is her favorite, then that will likely be the last to go. Avoid "triggers" that may make her ask to nurse during the day and gradually, slowly start to eliminate the daytime sessions. Then work on lessening the time of the nighttime session once you have finished eliminating some of the daytime ones. Many moms set a timer - so at first set it for 5 mins - then gradually reduce it until she only gets 30 seconds or 1 min to nurse - and eventually she won't want to anymore b/c the time is so short. You can read my breastfeeding journey and weaning story here: http://mommynewsblog.com/gentle-weaning-one-moms-journey-...

Good luck!
J.
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I had the exact same problem with both of my girls. That's why my 1st daughter didn't wean until 30 months. We got wise with the 2nd and my husband took over bedtime duties around age 2. He would lay with her and try to distract her by having her watch the ceiling fan or focusing on the blue light in the humidifier, etc.

I know what a tough position you are in and you really might need someone to run a little interfernce for a few days. I'm sorry but I can't remember what happened if she woke up in the middle of the night to nurse. That part is a blur.

We still lay with her at bedtime until she falls asleep and that is enough for her.

While weaning broke her of waking all through the night to nurse, it was an end to her naps as well because she nursed to sleep for those. Although I admit she never was worse for wear.

Hi I.,

Contact your local La Leche League Representative at

www.llli.org

Hope this helps. D.

I.,
I wish you could have attended the Mechanicsburg La Leche League meeting this past Wed. because the subject of weaning a toddler was explored and we spent a good time discussing tips and so many helpful ideas were shared. Since you live in Cumberland County maybe you could make it to a meeting, seems like weaning comes up almost every month. Your daughter would enjoy being with all the babies and toddlers. There is a day meeting and an evening meeting. For location and times go to http://www.lllusa.org/web/MechanicsburgPA.html

Weaning my 2 1/2 year old was a challenge. I found the techniques I learned from watching the DVD Happiest Toddler on the Block so helpful. For more info on getting the DVD or book go to www.HarrisburgBreastfeeding.com

S.

You gotta do it! Yes, you're paying the price for breaking a difficult habit that you formed, and now you feel bad that she's upset. SO BE IT! Just console yourself-and it's genuinely true-you have been AWESOME to nurse this long. It's SO good for her. Therefore, you are exonerated from any guilt resulting from weaning. PROCEED!
Do something special and fun to celebrate her big girl-ness, and at the same time, start the process hang tough while she cries. It will only be harder later! Good luck!

Hi I.,
Good job nursing this long! I nursed two little people for over 2 years. Both of them nursed to sleep for years. Both kids gave up that nursing as one of the very last. My daughter had to encouraged quite a bit. What worked for us was to start nursing her, but to have her stop just be for she was asleep. Then staying and holding her until she was asleep. It did take a long time, but right before she weaned completely, she was only latching for a second and then rolling over to go to sleep. I think it helped her to know I wasn't going to get up and leave as soon as she finished.

Good-Luck,
K. Loza

Congratulate yourself for nursing you child for this period of time! No need to second guess yourself. It may not have been any easier to wean at an earlier age!

I'm with the others...distraction, distraction, distraction.

Good luck!