Birthday Party with Food Allergies

I think it would be incredibly sad to serve something that the birthday girl would LOVE to have, but can't. Especially when there are so many other, equally delicious drinks that EVERYONE can enjoy.

Isn't her birthday party supposed to be about HER?

I would tell my Mom that we are not serving Lemonade. And it's replacement will be Sweet Tea, which is a great summer drink also!

Tell mom it's her party and no. She does not want her party to be ruined by seeing lemonade being drank by everyone. How cruel.

Forget the lemonade, it's her birthday! I'm with you on this one, mom.

my 15ur old is gluten free and dairy free and her parties are gluten and dairy free. Its the only time she can eat and drink everything at the party!

You are completely right. Your Mom should not be planning the menu for the party anyway. Your daughter should be able to consume everything at her party.

My son is allergic to Peanuts, which means he can't have M&M's because they may contain peanuts. I would never serve them at a party because "other kids like them" and they are "good party food".

The other kids WILL NOT care what is served.

J.

Your mom's being kind of a jerk about your daughter's food issues, isn't she? It's your little girl's party - why should there be anything there that reminds her of sadness? And, seriously, WHO is so hung up on LEMONADE that it HAS to be served? Aren't there a million other alternatives these days? Your mom's being very strange.

It's your daughter's party. I would not serve anything she can't eat or that will make her sad. It's HER BIRTHDAY. No one is saying never go anywhere where there might be lemonade. Honestly - I have a pool party every summer and have NEVER served lemonade. And I have no problem with it - just not on my radar.

I don't see why lemonade has to be offered. What about sweet tea? Seems your mom is using lemonade as some sort of horrible power tool, wth?

My kids never gave a darn about lemonade, most of us don't think a lot about it. I drink it now because it's a healthy thing for ME, but before that... lemonade was not a staple for a bday party.

Mom is acting out seems to me.

Older people can be incredibly stuck in their ways and it's too bad.
It's not like there aren't a million other citrus free drinks and punches that could be served during the summer.
How about googling some awesome recipe ideas WITH your daughter? Find something even more yummy than lemonade and bring that to the party! Win win, for all, and no drama :)

Your mother is off base. It's one thing if you go to a restaurant and lemonade is on the menu, or if your daughter goes to someone else's house. But at her own party, you are supposed to serve something she cannot drink? If you want to be completely healthy, then don't serve soda either - just water and iced tea (decaf/herbal) and maybe a low-sugar juice. Your mother is in denial and has this idea in her head about lemonade being required at summer gatherings.

And no, you don't need to serve eggs at your house. I have friends whose kids are allergic to nuts, and they don't serve or permit nuts in their home. Not a problem.

I work with a lot of people with health issues and have had great success at getting them past their food allergies, but I have to say, when people are in the midst of an allergy problem, then you go with it.

She is allergic to Lemonade but your Mom INSISTS on having Lemonade???
Really????
How insensitive.
That is her Granddaughter.

There are lots of other things you can have:
1) Mango nectar... mixed with Sprite or 7-Up, in a punchbowl with ice. And with scoops of sherbert in it floating on top.
2) Pineapple juice... same way as above.
3) Guava Juice mixed with 7-Up in a punch bowl with ice and scoops of Sherbert. Same was as above.
All of these are real popular local Hawaii things that we locals make for parties. It is a SUMMER or anytime, special thing.

Your daughter gets Migraines from citrus. It is a debilitating degree of Migraine? Does she have, or can she have medication, for the Migraines????

I think, (and sorry to say this), but I think your Mom is being really bossy and insensitive about this regarding her granddaughter. It is almost mean.
Being a good "Hostess" does NOT mean, that she has to serve Lemonade.
Geez... I don't know of any birthday party that my kids went to, that served lemonade. And this is Hawaii... land of fruit juices and fruit.
I think, your Mom... needs to get over it.
I feel sad for your daughter.
That is TOO much pressure she is putting onto YOUR daughter.
This is your daughter and your daughter's party... thus, YOU and your daughter decide, what to serve. NOT your Mom. NOT your Mom at all.
Tell her, "No Mom."

Your Mom seems to have a hang-up... about being thoughtful about your/your daughter's allergies. It is almost mean.
Does she know, that some people with food allergies, can die and suffocate???? Or swell up so bad they cannot breathe???
My daughter is allergic to Kiwi fruit. It causes reactions like I mentioned. My daughter loves Kiwi fruit... but she knows it is dangerous for her. And she is fine with that. But we don't go around SERVING Kiwi Fruit at her parties nor tell her we have to have Kiwi fruit for the guests.

Your Mom, is emotionally manipulative... bully like.

your mom is not in charge....unless she's footing the bill. Do what is best for your daughter...& your mom just needs to suck it up. It's not all about her. :)

sorry, but your momma pushed my buttons. :) LOL

Wow, your mom is being a jerk! Put your foot down and tell her she is being disrespectful. This party is your daughter's party not your mom's party. If she won't listen, move the party to a nearby park and prepare the refreshments yourself.

I can't have MSG and I always have to ask when I go places to eat. Most of the time my family and friends make sure there is no MSG.

Re-tell this story to your Mom:

Several years ago when peanut allergies were just becoming well known a little boy attended a birthday party. A lady at the party insisted he have a cookie, he politely said no, she insisted, he said no -- this went on and on ---- and the boy finally was broken down enough to eat the cookie -- a peanut butter cookie --- he died before the paramedics could arrive.

Tell Mom NO LEMON-AIDE. If she brings some dump it down the drain right in front of her.

Since there are plenty of other drinks you can serve, I would skip the lemonade for your daughter's birthday. Kids with allergies have to skip enough things when they go out to eat or go to other peoples' houses. They should be able to have things they like at their own parties.

This is your chance to show some empathy for your daughter and skip the lemonade. It's your mom who needs to "get over it".... the idea that lemonade is necessary at a birthday party.

You are not being over-sensitive to the issue of food allergies. You get to choose what foods to serve at your house and at your daughter's party.

In response to your mom saying she needs to get over it and be a good hostess, would she say that an alcoholic needs to get over it and be a good hostess and serve alcoholic beverages at any party they host? I know it is not the same thing, but the temptation would be similar, and the results would be unpleasant.

It is taking it to the extreme, but your mom might get it if you put it in those terms. Or you could just reference the "loony lady" on mamapedia who talked about it!

I believe your Mom is wrong on this one.

It is your daughter's b-day party and if she is sad b/c she loves lemonade and can't have it you had better believe that if this was MY daughter we would NOT be serving lemonade!

There are so many other summer drinks...this is one of those times that I would throw around my 'this is MY daughter' weight and say NO to the lemonade. Period. End of story.

Why is your Mom even involved in this decision?

Are you having the party at her house or something? If you are, then I suggest a calm but serious discussion with her about what you would like to have happen to make *her* granddaughter's day the best it can be. If you are NOT having it at her house, then I suggest a simple, yet firm 'we will NOT be having that' should suffice!

As far as the comment your Mom made about her being 'a good hostess' is concerned, that is just crazy to me....your daughter CAN BE a good hostess and NOT SERVE lemonade...it is NOT the end all and be all of summer drinks? Give me a break!

I would say that if your daughter was at someone else's party and lemonade was served, she's have to "get over it" because it's just not within her control. Since the party is FOR your daughter, I don't see any reason why you need to offer lemonade. I don't really understand why your mother would be involved in what is served at your daughter's party. You don't need her to approve the list of food/drinks served.

i think your mom is being mean.
yes, your daughter DOES have to come to terms with the fact that she's going to encounter her beloved lost foods in the world and deal.
but she's only 11 and this is HER party.
there are lots of good summer drinks in the world. will the guests actually 'suffer' because they get iced tea or flavored water at a party?
hmph.
khairete
S.

You are not being over sensitive. I don't understand why your mother is being so uncaring when it comes to you and your daughter's allergies. I would never think that someone would serve something they are allergic too- ridiculous- why should the host/ birthday girl have to suffer?! . Like the other posters said there are plenty of other summery drinks that don't have citrus in them (I love S.H. ideas) or maybe even ice teas with fruit flavoring (a favorite of mine in the summer- I freeze a mint leave in the ice cubes sometimes too- soooo good).
The egg free stuff- my brother is vegan and my mom is vegetarian leaning towards vegan so everything at her house is egg free/ animal by product free and you can't really taste the difference most of the time (soy burgers and tofurkey- BIG difference). She makes the desserts for all of our family get togethers and my husband didn't know for a long time that they were all vegan. So I don't think people would probably even notice.

Tell your mom to "Get over it" - no one NEED lemonade for a party. It's your daughter's party. SHE, the BIRTHDAY GIRL, can't have lemonade, so making her sad on her birthday is pretty insensitive. I'm guessing your mom is probably an insensitive person, as she also gives you a hard time. No one "suffers" by not having the kind of food they like at SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE. You're not being over sensitive - she's being UNDER sensitive and selfish.

I like reverand ruby's idea. If you tell her she will make your daughter miserable and she chooses to make lemonade, dump it, and tell your husband to dump it too if he sees it before you do should she keep making it. EVEN if mom is paying for the lemonade - then dump it and give her a dollar.

Your mother is wrong, wrong, wrong. Your daughter can "get over it" at someone else's party. At her very own party, she should be made to feel special, and she should be able to consume whatever is being served. Her party/birthdya is not the time or place to teach her this particular lesson.

(Your mother is also wrong about YOUR parties. Her focus is on pleasing everybody else. How about we let other people learn that they won't always get what THEY expect at a party?)

I can related to your daughter. I get migraines too and have had to eliminate many foods from my diet in order to control them. It's been a difficult adjustment for me too, and I'm an adult.

It's going to take time for your daughter to adjust to her new restrictions, and it will be much harder for her if people are telling her to "get over it." I don't think you are being over sensitive at all. In fact, I think you can use this adjustment period to empathise with her since you are in a similar situation with your allergies.

It's your daughter's birthday party, and I don't see any reason to spoil it by serving a drink that she can't have, just because it's a "good summer drink." Why make your daughter miserable? There are plent of other opportunities for her grandparents to have lemonade, and the other kids won't miss it. I think her grandparents need to be more supportive.

Good luck, and happy birthday to your daughter!

I'm with you... I'm sorry your M. is being so insensitive!

Can the party be held at your house, or somewhere else (like at a park), where you can control what is being served?

It's her party, serve what she can have. No question. Hope she has a wonderful birthday!

I agree with the other moms here: Your mom is flat out wrong and insensitive. This is your daughter's party!

Put your foot down on this one right now, or you'll be arguing about it for years. Tell her there is to be NO lemonade at the party. If it just "shows up," remove it immediately. Right into the trash/down the drain.

I have food allergies too - thankfully I have outgrown most of them, but it was hard when I was a kid because of of my allergies was to chocolate (Thank GOD I outgrew that one!!!!). My parents always worked around my food allergies when we hosted something. Lemonade does not a party make - I would NOT serve it out of respect to your daughter. You could serve kool aid or something a long those lines to have a non soda choice.
It's hard enough to deal with not being able to have something everyone else can have without it being at your own party. your daughter will have plenty of opportunities to "get over it"
Just a thought for dealing with your Mom - if it's at your house and you are preparing the food, then you get to pick the menu. Unless you are hosting a brunch or breakfast, most people won't notice if the menu is egg free. In that instance, it's your mom who needs to get over it.

I agree with you 100%, it's your daughters party and she should not have to watch other people drinking lemonade. I don't think that you are being over sensitive. I think HER party should be perfect for HER and no one else.

How about Kool-aid? That's a great summer drink as well. Personally I don't really like lemonade (gives me heartburn) and never drank it as a kid. I have two daughters and they do not like lemonade because its bitter. So I think your mom assuming that is what the kids are going to really want, is wrong. My youngest has a peanut allergy. We do not serve anything with nuts/ tree nuts and trust me no one ever misses it because I serve plenty of great things.

I think you need to put your foot down, say no, and compromise with some sort of Kool-aid flavor. Kids who drink lemonade, will drink Kool/aid and kids who do not like lemonade because it is bitter will drink Kool-aid because it's sweet.

Bottom line, your daughter should have a day that's all about her and what she likes.

Please no lemonade. No way no how. Food allergies are tough for kids and at birthday parties in particular. Her party should not have that added stress for her. My daughter has severe nut allergies and is often feeling like she is missing out on things. I would hate to have her party be one more instance where everyone is eating a treat while she watches. You can let you mom know that I recently went camping with 6 other families and each parent was vigilant about not bringing anything with nuts. I didn't even have to ask. They just all understand. Somehow it was just a given.

As someone who is having to deal with gluten issues, I get it. You don't want to have to deal with the temptation of something that you enjoyed so much. Personally, I think she should just avoid it altogether. There are plenty of other summertime drinks that are available. People aren't going to get upset if there isn't lemonade there, they will drink what is available.

The only other solution would be to find a drink that tastes similar but doesn't have the citrus....maybe a minutemaid type drink with no real juice in it.

My son has multiple food allergies and if I know something is being offered that he can't have (including cake or cupcakes due to milk, wheat, egg allergies), I provide a version that he can have. Most of the other parents are considerate and ask what they can serve him, but it's always easier if I just bring it. I have a stash already made in the freezer. Obviously I don't expect people not to have cupcakes or cake b/c it's a birthday, but in your case, lemonade could easily be substituted for another fun summer drink. Maybe try Pinterest? Or have Capri Suns? It's your daughter and your party for her, so I think you should stand for what you feel is best. Even though my son has had allergies since infancy, it is still hard now that he is older when he can't have what everybody else is having. He's never even had real ice cream or a "real" cupcake. I can only imagine that it would be difficult to have been able to have something then suddenly you cannot. I would respectfully tell your mom to butt out. It's your decision. Your daughter, in time, will be able to understand she'll be around things she can't have, but it is soon so I would serve something in it's place. It's unfortunate your mom isn't a little more supportive for both you and your daughter. I hope it works out and I hope your daughter has a wonderful birthday!