Birthday Blues

You know, I'd be honest with him about how you feel a bit cheated out of a good time for your special day. Believe me, when you're with someone for 10 or 15 years and you don't nip some hard feelings in the bud right now, you won't last with him another birthday. I'm not saying you need to demand anything of him, but I am saying that all people should be treated special 1 day out of the year at least. Tell him. And, I'd also let him know how you feel about him missing out on your daughter's art show and last soccer game instead of him getting drunk at a party.

Your husband needs time to do things he likes to do, too, but I'd really have to say something if my husband chose to get drunk rather than build up some memories for his daughter. Call me selfish but that's just the way I operate.

I know it's different when you get to the thirtyish age then wow the fortyish age gave me a sting there too. I'm sorry you're blue it sounds like many mothers birthday's in the sense that men don't really surprise many of us once we become moms we do so much for the family they kinda forget how to do things like even a surprise. I know what you mean sometimes I get mad at my husband he seems to be many times more footloose and fancyfree while I get the kids. Like a friends of his got both of them zz top tickets and it's a surprise for him which is great and guess who gets to what the kids???? yep, me!!! so while my husband has a surprise coming for his birthday I have a birthday 2 days different his friend didn't get me a ticket but oh well...I really think it's a mom thing. Enough about me lets see mother's day is coming since the birthday was a bit of a bust how about you let you hubby know you'd like him to watch the kids while you go do something for you like get a salad for a $1 a wendy's and take a book go to a park near by for a few hours and read without anyone yelling mommy. Or if you can afford it get yourself a manicure for $13. Do something just for you, you don't have to share and you know you will enjoy (in case he isn't prepared with a gift). The only thing I can say is when I'm with the kids and I know my hubby is having some fun without us I take the kids to a $1.25
or somewhere fun for us...it helps a little....blessings to you I hope your blue turns pink soooonnnn.....

you need to pray for peace and be thankful for your loud children.
I'll pray for you.

I know you didn't really ask for a solution, BUT I know how you feel because I too get these kinds of feelings and I don't always say something. But you know what? When I tell my husband how I really feel when I don't get any "me" time, he encourages me to go do something. I do think we all need time to just get away by ourselves even if just for a little while.

I know how you feel. It really sucks not having parents in town to babysit. I would not stand for him getting to go and do and you not being able to. My husband and I have an "eye for an eye" policy about that. If he has a night out with the guys and stays out and gets drunk till 3am for whatever reason, then I get a night out with my friends while he stays home and I stay out till 3am. This works well because we both get to go out ocassionally, but it also makes him think twice about going out, because he knows he will have to stay at home with the baby while i go out, so he doesnt do it very often.

Men are clueless - he has NO idea you could possibly feel this way at all. You are going to have to tell him flat out how you feel. He probably thinks that because you aren't thrilled about being 31 that you don't want anything special. Men don't rationalize things the same way women do.

C.

It is something we all go through at some point.Hell my husband has been invited to wrestlinf events,concerts,even just regular outings alot vs. my none.I didn't get to go on either of those.But it's best to let him go without guilt but let him know how you wished he had done something more special with a little moe effort for your birthday. He prob thinks you were ok with how it turned out and doesn't know just how mad you are about it.But making him feel as crappy as you just makes you both feel crappy which causes you both to resent one another.And if he's a good man he will appreciate that despite his fault you still sucked it up and loved him enough to want him to be happy.And if he's anything like my husband he'd make it up to you.And maybe after he comes back he could repay the favor by watching the kids while you go hang out with some friends or go have some fun at a male strip club..maybe evn a spa day or something to make up for his lack of common sense lol.