20 answers

Big Boy Bed! - Oklahoma City,OK

My son is 22 months old and I am 16 weeks pregnant. We are hoping to have my son into his big boy bed and the crib out of sight before the baby comes around. We have set up a twin bed in his room along with the crib and he is fascinated with it. At naptime and bedtime he asks to sleep in it. He tells me night night and points at the twin bed. The problem is he won't stay there. I put him back in it repeatedly. During the day, at naptime, he gets up and plays in his room for awhile and then eventually comes out. He knows he's not supossed to be up, he comes and peaks around the corner at us, but doesn't come all the way into the living room. Today at naptime he got up about 8 times, a total of about 45 minutes, before I put him in the crib. He cried when I put him in the crib for about 5 minutes and then went to sleep. Bedtime has been the same way tonight.
I am going to continue putting him to bed in the twin bed first and not give up, but does anyone have any advice on how to get him to stay there? Its very frustrating!! Thanks!!!!!

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you may try letting him pick out a big boy toy to sleep with. My son also had the same problem. My second son was already born and needed the baby bed so I could not put Nathan back in the baby bed. I took him to wal-mart and he pick out a pack of 3 barbie size army men. He slep with them every night and did not get out of bed very much at all. He still tried his limits occassionally but the is to be expected. hope this helps

We had my son out of his crib by his 2nd birthday. It takes a bit of struggle and patience. Consistency is key here!! Do you have a routine for bedtime? Having set things (potty, bath, story) every night in a certain order helps calm the child down. Also, I found that with my son, if I sat in the room with him, he would stay in his bed. Each night I got closer and closer to the door until I was finally in the hallway. I would leave the door cracked so it wouldn't bother him so much when he was asleep and I was trying to get out. There were still nights that it took a bit to get him to stay in bed. From my experience, I had a few nights that I wanted to give up and I put the rail back up to make his bed into a crib again and I quickly learned that he knew how to climb out. So my sitting in there with him was key. I would even bring the laptop in there and play on it and simply ignore him (so long as he stayed in the bed) until he fell asleep. Good luck!!

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had the same problem with my little boy (he was 18 months when i moved him to a toddler bed). according to nanny 911, if you stay consistent they'll eventually get it. they advised just picking him up and putting him straight in the bed - no conversation. this took about a month of working with him for more than an hour. sometimes, i think that he thought it was a game. i stayed consistent, though, because i knew i was about to start trying to get pregnant, again. also, on nights that dad was home (he works overnights), he did much better when dad put him straight back in the bed than with me.

Congratulations on the new baby! Your son is doing exactly what most other kids do. I would suggest that you take the crib out of his room if you are wanting him to sleep in the big bog bed. He may be a little confused by 2 beds. Also, keep putting him back in the bed every time he comes out, EVERY time. I know it is frustrating and may take some time, but consistency is important. He will eventually get the message and sleep like he's supposed to. When my son got his big bed he would get up at all hours of the night and come to my room I would get up every time and put him back to bed. It only took a few days for him to not come out anymore. I don't know if you all watch TV or not, but you might allow him a specific amount of time to watch a lullaby or bedtime movie in his bed. You could come in and turn it off after the alloted time, or get a movie that's only that long, or set the sleep timer on the TV to shut off after a certain time. He could also listen to a lullaby CD while he falls asleep. Hope you have lots of luck and just keep trying!

The first time he gets out of the bed, say, "You aren't going to be a big boy and stay in bed? Too bad! You're going to have to sleep in the crib." and put him there, and leave him there to sleep. Next bedtime, start over from scratch, and play the game the same way. Make him earn that bed. You have put a lot of pressure on yourself by wanting this to happen by the time the new one arrives. Another way to handle it is to sit by his bed, and keep your hand on him gently, so he can't get up, until he falls asleep, so he will get used to falling asleep in that bed. He has gotten a good start on a new habit- of jumping up out of bed over and over, every time you put him in it. You have to train him out of that habit. Don't allow it to happen. It takes a lot of your time, but training little ones takes a lot of time.

Hi B.,
My Daughter is 25 mos old and we are just relieved that she hasn't figured out if she wants she CAN Get Out of her Crib. :-) We have a Big Girl bed (in pieces in the attic) and a full bed in her room-it's also the "guest room" when we have company.

A friend told me to keep both in the child's room for a while and keep working on it. You might also start a reward system-stickers if he likes them etc... one for every day he naps in his "big boy bed". You could also praise him "what a Great job, sleeping in your big bed"...etc... As I said, we want to keep our little flip/flopper in her crib till she's too big for it. Maybe someone will answer w/ more knowledge than me.

The Useful part (why I responded) another Mom friend told me her son had stopped napping-she said he has to stay in his room and have "quiet time" b/c Mommy needs quite time too. Maybe you can start telling your son-if he gets out of bed he can play quietly, but he needs to "Shush" (that's what my girl does when she thinks it should be quiet) and not talk or make a lot of noise. At his age, I don't think he will get it, but if you keep telling him-if you don't nap, then sit and read/have "quiet time" when he's older he will be used to it and when your new baby is napping you can have a moment to yourself.
Also, I LOVE the Baby gate Idea. Maybe you could add a soft comfy rug so if he is playing and just falls asleep he has a nice place to play/nap.
I hope you find an answer.
Good Luck and Congrads on your expanding Family.
:-)
C.

I would recommend putting up a baby gate or a child proof door knob so he can not get out of his room. We put our son in a big boy bed when he was 16 or 17 months old because of another baby on the way. I actually reversed the door knob and locked him in. We started putting him in the big boy bed only at night. The first night he cried at the door and I kept going in his room every 10 minutes or so and putting him back in bed then I would leave the room. I was very consistent and after the first night he was fine. He ended up crying total of about 1 hour. CONSISTENCY is a must.

I had the same problem. You just have to keep being consistent don't give in. I think he knows that if he keeps doing it wrong you will eventually give in and put him in the crib. When I first started it took me almost 3 months to get my little boy to stay in the big boy bed. He loved the bed he just knew how to push my buttons. But I didn't have another place to put him. We had to take down the crib because it broke. They are just curious which gets them into trouble LOL!! It will get better I PROMISE!!! Just have faith in your self and him LOL!!! Good luck from another SAHM. A.

Hi B.. When we put our daughter in her big girl bed at 17 months, we would lay with her until she fell asleep and gradually leave her room sooner until we could just put her in the bed and tuck her in say goodnight give kisses and she would go to sleep on her own. It took about 2 weeks, start to finish. She never had both crib and big girl bed in there at the same time though. Recently she has started to get out of her bed and want to play now, (she is 24 months now) so at night we put a different night light in her room, one that isn't so bright, just one so she isn't scared but not bright enough for her to really see anything. Nap time I still have to lay with her though, I think she is coming to that age where she doesn't want to take naps anymore, but I need that time because I have a 12 almost 13 month old son as well.

I hope my advice has helped you. Good luck

you may try letting him pick out a big boy toy to sleep with. My son also had the same problem. My second son was already born and needed the baby bed so I could not put Nathan back in the baby bed. I took him to wal-mart and he pick out a pack of 3 barbie size army men. He slep with them every night and did not get out of bed very much at all. He still tried his limits occassionally but the is to be expected. hope this helps

Hi, I know how you feel. When my oldest was going from baby bed to big girl bed it was hard on her and me. I was pregnant and needed the baby bed for the baby. We put alot of stuff animals in the baby bed for the baby made it uncomfartable for her and had special treats for her for not getting out of the big girl bed. When I put her down for a nap we would talk about a movie or book or going to the park if she stayed in the bed until I came to get her if she didn't than she didn't get the special treat and I would repeat why she didn't. Than at night we would do the same thing and I would remind her of the fact that I was true to my word. That is the key being true to your word if you tell your children you are going to do something do it.

We did the same thing, put the crib next to the toddler bed, and it worked great. Here's a few other things we did:
~Put a safety cover over his door knob & close his door, so he can't walk out. This way he won't hear you in the other room & want to see what's going on. He may think he's missing out on something.
~If you don't already, put a fan or something in his room (out of reach) for white noise.
~If you still have his monitor, keep it in his room so you can still see that he's ok. We still have our son's video monitor in his room, so we can look at him if he crys during the night or at nap time. This way you won't have to go in his room, but can watch him. If he gets out of bed, wait a little bit before you go in and see if he gets back in his bed. If he figures out you will come back in, he may get up just to prolong the bed time routine.
~Put up toys so he doesn't have them out to distract him and close his closet door.
~Have him sit in his bed at nap/bedtime and read him 1 bedtime story. This will help relax him & let him know it's time to go to sleep when the story is over.
Sweet dreams.

The Big Boy Bed. We are still dealing with our little guy getting out of his big boy bed. He is 29 months. There are a few ways to deal with this. The first is to use the crib as a go to. If he doesn't stay in his bed say, "do you need to go into your crib instead." Tell him, "the next time you get out of your bed your going in your crib." If you have to put him back in the crib I give my guy about 5-10 minutes screaming and then I go back in there and ask him if he wants to sleep in the big boy bed. Sometimes he says yes and stays in his bed and other times he does not. If he doesn't stay in his bed then put him back in his crib and he sleeps in it.

The second way is to sit in his doorway until he goes to sleep. This is difficult because you will give up your evenings to do this one. This one worked for a friend of mine. They know they are being watched and each time they think their going to get out of bed they realize you are sitting there.

The third way is to continue to put him back in his bed. When you put him back don't say a word and gently put him back. He will realize he is not going to get a reaction out of you and give up. It takes alot but it works for some.

The other thing about this age the stage they are in they want to assert their independence and make their own decisions. It makes them going to sleep for a nap or for the night very difficult.

All of this information came from a sleeping book I have. I've searched high and low because we have tried everything. We have resorted to sitting with him until he goes to sleep right now. We went home to Arizona to see my family and it messed up the sleeping schedule.

If you hear of any other way would you please let me know. I would really appreciate it. I wish you all the luck in the world.

M.
____@____.com

Although I was blessed with a child who would ask "can I be up", I had a friend with your problem. All kids are different, but it seems to me you give in and put him in the crib. Mixed message there. Take the crib down and out. Yes in just a few months you will have to put it back, but it will send the message that the big boy bed is where he should be. Consistency is the key. Even if you have to do it a dozen times. Find a routine and stick to it. He will catch on. Kids at this age seem to be "training" us while we are training them. Good luck and God bless.

We had my son out of his crib by his 2nd birthday. It takes a bit of struggle and patience. Consistency is key here!! Do you have a routine for bedtime? Having set things (potty, bath, story) every night in a certain order helps calm the child down. Also, I found that with my son, if I sat in the room with him, he would stay in his bed. Each night I got closer and closer to the door until I was finally in the hallway. I would leave the door cracked so it wouldn't bother him so much when he was asleep and I was trying to get out. There were still nights that it took a bit to get him to stay in bed. From my experience, I had a few nights that I wanted to give up and I put the rail back up to make his bed into a crib again and I quickly learned that he knew how to climb out. So my sitting in there with him was key. I would even bring the laptop in there and play on it and simply ignore him (so long as he stayed in the bed) until he fell asleep. Good luck!!

When I transitioned my oldest into a "big boy" bed, I layed in bed with him for about 20 minutes patting his back and listening to "bed time" music. I gradually decreased the time I would lay down. After about a month he was going to sleep on his own. It took alittle bit of time on my part, but it was time I was not fussing at him for getting out of bed. He did occasionally have "relapses" into getting up over and over, but that is normal child behavior.
Oh and by the way, The baby gate in the doorway, is considered a fire hazard. The reversed door knob is just as bad, and just wait till your little angel is older and tells someone at school that "Mom and Dad used to lock me in my room."

My almost 3 yr old moved to a twin bed at 11 months because we were going to be moving out of state and weren't going to be able to take his big beautiful nursery set for this smaller house, so I got him a toddler bed, but he preferred his brother's twin bed, so we got him his own twin bed. Anyway, we just put a gate at his door so he couldn't come out, and let him play in his room (limited toys) and when he was tired enough he would put himself to bed and snuggle up under his blanket. Sometimes he would nap on the floor, but we let him. Once they get used to the new routine, they adjust just fine! Good luck!

I agree completely with everyone that suggested the baby gate idea. I didnt like shutting the door on my son (in a toddler bed at 18 months) it made him scared and honestly left me a little scared myself with not being able to see what he was doing. With a gate at his door he knew where we were as we could always see what was happening in there. He never really had a problem with the bed he went straight to sleep in it from day one his problem was he tended to wonder at night if he woke. After the first time we saw this we started the gate ( we woke to find him sleeping soundly in the dining room). I didnt feel it was safe for him to wonder around the house alone in the night - so to insure his safety he was gated. Many mornings we found him curled up with his bear and blanket against the gate in the door but never again in the dining room. Oh and the other thing I think helped him like his bed was we went and let him choose any bedding he wanted for his new bed, blues clues was alot more fun to sleep with then the precious moments in his crib!

This wont stop him from playing in his room at nap time but you could get a baby gate for his bedroom door so at least he knows he has to stay in his room. That is what I did with my son. He would eventually fall asleep after playing for a while. Now he doesn't need the baby gate any more and since he is older I think it has helped him with knowing when quiet time is. I don't always make him take a nap because he is 3 but he does have to have quiet time - or mommy will go insane. LOL

C.

I too had to take the crib down. It was too easy to put him in it! We have a gate that we put up in his door so that he has to stay in his room. It was some adjusting for a bit but better now than later. He will do it once you start because he already likes it! Just put something up in the door for him to keep him in there and tell him from the door to go back to sleep. That is what we did. AFter about a week of doing that it got easier! Let us know how he does!

We recently moved our 21 month old son to his twin bed. We had to just take the crib down and put it out of sight. It was an adjustment for a week maybe, but he now loves his "big boy bed" and puts himself to bed. Best of Luck!

You might try putting him to bed in the crib and transfering him to the twin bed after he is asleep. When he wakes up several times in the other bed, it should be easier to get him to sleep in it.

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