Baby Shower or Not - Carrollton,TX

We did a wedding shower for a friend that's son was getting married. The bride is VERY shy and didn't want to open gifts in front of so many people so we had everyone bring the gifts unwrapped to take that stress off of her. It went over really well. You might consider that for the mom to be. :)

1 mom found this helpful

I was very fortunate to have a couple of showers with my one and only child, and am not the kind to be comfortable in front of lots of people opening gifts. One of my showers was a fairly large group but it was done at a family-style restaurant, where the two hostesses paid for pizza dinner for the group --instead of decorations and cake -- while the dinner was going on, they were helping me out opening the gifts (and then people explanined what some of these items were..ha!). It was very relaxed, and I appreciate everything!! It doesn't have to be drawn out boring open up gifts with everyone staring you down and playing games that no one wants to do anyhow. I say do it.They will thank you later.

My husband and I are very private people and were aware of possible complications due to my high risk pregnancy. I was uncomfortable sharing all of my risks even with close friends. So I told them that they could have a shower or "sip and see" after the baby was born. This allowed me to take care of myself and not worry about being hospitalized or that the baby would be in the NICU on the date of the shower. It's a good thing that I did that because I spent the last three weeks of my pregnancy in the hospital. So it's a possibility that your sister-in-law has not told you everything.

Why not make it a couple baby shower where her husband and his friends can attend also that way she is not the main center of attention. Make it a surprise shower. Though she may not like the attention I know without a doubt in the end she will appreciate the help & gifts for their new little one.

You can also do an email party or letter one. Send out letter regarding thir pending arrival. Give a list of things registered for & a drop of date & time. Have a party favor for each person who drops off a gift to you as the host and a thank you card. Partys are fun though....I didn't want one either...I really hate being thecenter of attention....but I truly appreciated everything after the baby was here.

or wait till after the baby is born & have meet the baby party so the baby is the center of attention???

Have the shower at a restaurant. It will feel less focused on her with attention divided.

These are all suggestions.....but I hope she chooses to have one. Its a great thing!

I would plan the baby shower and explain to your sister in law that it's not about being the center of attention, but to look at it more about her family and friends coming together to celebrate her having a baby. The focus is on the baby. And how it is a blessing to others to help out new parents, especially with their first baby.

She may feel a bit self-conscience if they don't have much- thinking everyone is buying her things because she cannot... but she needs to realize it's not about that at all.

You can even make the list a small intimate gathering of just her closest friends and family... and might let others know that there will be a diaper party after the baby is born.

Just some thoughts.

A baby shower is a celebration of the newest family member to be. Instead of baby gifts. Maybe favorite books of people's childhood. Or everyone can make a scrapbook page (you specify size) to make a baby's first year book. Assign pages. Or a diaper party. She is thrify but you can't buy used pampers. Reminder her that this is a baby celebration. She is not the center of attention the baby is, she is just carrying the star of the show.

I like suggesting the couples shower and the Meet the Baby party----but Never. Never, ever give a surprise shower to pregnant woman. Especially one that doesn't want a shower anyhow. (Well maybe if the baby is 2 weeks past due. :)!)

Maybe you could do something a little non-traditional...Like asking everyone (who you would invite to a traditional shower, if she wanted one) to submit a something written for the couple--sage advice, well-wishes, memories of them as children, etc. You could compile that into a scrapbook or something. And on the email or written invite to folks when you ask them to submit something, you can tell them where the couple is registered online. That'd give people a chance to send or give presents if they so choose. Dunno, just a thought...

L.,
Maybe instead of having a traditional baby shower, you could have a barbque or fingerfood party where men could come too and just have gifts for the baby as an extra. That way it would be more of a friendly party and less of a cake and game shower. And her husband would be comfortable too since he could have some male companionship. Then your sister-in-law is not the only one that is the center of attention.
Good Luck
A.

i had a shower with only one child, as i hate showers in general. but if for the second child someone had offered to throw a party with no games and just a gift table, sure, why not? if daddy wants to open gifts, let him be the center of attention.

What about a "meet the baby" after he is born? That way the baby is the center of attention. On the invite, don't put where she is registered so that people don't feel they MUST bring gifts, although most everyone will anyway.

I can relate to your sister-in-laws feelings. I did have a shower for my first, but when baby number two came around, I asked for there not to be a shower. I had the essentials already and it seemed a bit greedy. A friend of mine mentioned that my friends really wanted to celebrate and acknowledge the big event. So we met in the middle. Instead of a big shower with everyone I had ever met or worked with invited, we had nice intimate lunch with a half dozen or so of my friends. Everyone paid for their own meals, well, someone did pick up my tab...it was Macaroni Grill, so nothing extravagant. There were no games or speeches. It was basically girlfriends having a great lunch together that ended with presents and cake for me. :) I enjoyed myself thoroughly, friends got to celebrate with me, no one really had to do much planning, no clean up and no embarrassment. Maybe that would be something more palatable for her. Ultimately it's her decision. It will be no fun for anyone if she is uncomfortable or upset.

For all these good ideas, ask her if any of them would make her feel better or if she has some ideas herself. Have the husband there too to contribute ideas since he's grown to know her so well. Then, if she agrees to some basic concept, you can review each aspect of the plan to see how that feels to her or how you can change it.

I like what SB said! Maybe have a get together instead of a traditional shower, without all the games and such. I had 2 showers with my DS, but with this pregnancy I said no! We have all the essentials, so we didn't need one.

Don't throw a baby shower or any other social event if the mother-to-be doesn't want one. Maybe she is very uncomfortable in social situations or has some difficulty she doesn't want anyone to know about. You can't always tell by looking either, don't assume that because she is able to cope or cover she couldn't possibly have any issues. I consider any kind of event at which I am the "center of attention" roughly equivalent to the seventh circle of he.., well you get the idea.

You don't need a shower to send a present, if you want to send a present, do it. Encourage the people you would have invited to do the same, if you have occasion to speak to them.

It's very sweet and thoughtful of you to consider the thrift store issues, you are correct, a used car seat may have been recalled (which you could easily check on-line), but worse, could have been in an accident already or somehow dropped or damaged and should be discarded (which you can not check).

If you want to do something fun (for everyone, not just the mom-to-be) have a "let's swap stuff" party. Everyone brings a treat to eat and multiple copies of the receipe and whatever nice things their kids have grown out of or they can't use anymore.

No kids are invited (this is very important, since things for kids are up for grabs). If someone doesn't have used stuff, they can either bring new stuff or enjoy the party snacks.

If people know a mom-to-be is going to be there, she usually ends up with a lot of cool stuff for a newborn.

I felt the same way with my first child. My in-laws threw a "Daddy's Little Girl" shower instead. The guys had to participate in all the games while the girls (and me) just got to watch. He also was the one who had to sit in front of everyone and open presents. I had a nice time since I was not the one who everyone was watching the whole time.