Baby Cries Any Time She Isn't Being Held!!!!

As you've discovered, some babies are just like that. I remember when my son was born, the ped at the hospital said to me, "I've noticed that he cries when you put him down, stops when you pick him up. Some babies are like that. You'll want to get yourself a sling or something to carry him in." You can't change their personalities, you can only work around them. There's nothing wrong with her, she just needs physical closeness more than your son did. Get yourself a sling and learn how to use it. There are a lot of good resources for this. Google the term "baby wearing" and you'll learn a lot. It will not spoil her, on the contrary. It will probably help a great deal. And chances are, like my son, she's actually very inquisitive and independent. Wearing a baby will not delay walking either (mine walked at 9 months ooooh my).

My son is 4 now. He sleeps in his own bed, does things on his own, etc. I sometimes miss the early days. They are over so quickly. Just keep that in mind. This doesn't last forever.

I do think it's too soon to worry about this being a "bad habit" or to expect self soothing. All kids are different and some just have a much stronger need for that closeness - it's totally normal. However, it could be that something you are eating might be giving her some GI distress. If you consume cow's milk products, then you might try dropping those entirely for a couple weeks and see how it goes. Other things that bothered my sons: broccoli (any of the cruciferous), orange juice (or any fruit with small seeds) and of course dairy. Also, you may not notice any outright GI symptoms. With my younger son, he just got fussy when I ate broccoli or had orange juice. Being held is just plain ole comforting to them and helps them to relax despite being aggravated by something.

I know how frustrating this can be especially when you have an older child. I went through the same thing with my son and my twins. One thing that worked for me was to put them in the same room I was in so that they could see me and I would talk to them while I was doing whatever. None of them liked the slings or carriers so I just used the vibrating bouncy seat and a travel swing. I even showered with the door open so they could see me.

She is too young to self soothe IMO. I don't think you need to worry about this behavior. It is totally normal and holding her a lot won't lead to an unbreakable habit.

As hard as it might be with two little ones, try to take time for yourself so that it is easier to deal with it even if that is just a long soak in the tub after the kids go to bed.
Hang in there! Like others have said, this too shall pass.

I think 4 months is to young to worry about spoiling her or setting up bad habits. My advice is to continue to hold her as much as you are able, but also know that is ok for her to cry for a bit if you need a few moments for yourself or to do something that can't be done with a 4 month old on you.

And the days do go fast! I remember complaining about this with my son, and now I am lucky if he stops long enough to give me a quick hug! I am sure she will settle down once the teething slows and she gets a bit older.

You are right, this time is fleeting, but I understand your worries. However, in my experience, I don't think you need to worry about her behavior. She is comforted by you and that is a good thing. She is learning trust which will eventually let her learn to be more independent. Something you might try to help her learn that other people can take care of her is to let a trusted family member or friend take care of her for a little while each week (or some other regular basis). This will help you out and will help her learn to deal with being without Mommy for a while. In a few months, this will very likely not be an issue. She will have moved onto something else with which to challenge you! :)

I 'wore' my son almost 20 hours a day.. it worked for us. I had several people tell me I'd make him dependent on me - he is the most independent little man on the planet now. When I dropped him off at Kindergarten this year, he was like, " bye mom - have a great day". He still wants me when he's sick - but otherwise it's like having a very well mannered teenager around - he does it for himself, by himself, all the time, and he is fearless.

My younger one was not so interested in being held unless it was for eating - wearing him was more an issue of safety, since he didn't get around well and had poor muscle tone - I didn't want him to get stepped on.

So I would just hold her.

S.

I don't see a swing on there. I had one who didn't demand to be held all the time, she would just never nap, so I sympathize with you.

I would check with a doctor to make sure there isn't something ear-related going on. I think at this point you either live with the crying some of the time to gie yourself a break, and you can turn on music, etc. so that you cannot hearthe crying. I used to go sit in my car, sigh.

One thing that might help is trying to make sure she has something that smells like you. We tend to think it is great when the blankets, sheets, etc. smell like Downy but to baby, smelling like mama is much better.

Other than that, I suspect this is a phase she will get through hopefully sooner than later. Trying to break this habit when she is teething may be impossible.

I don't think it will become a habit. My second son cried a lot and would only sleep about 30 minutes at a time all day long for several months, so I know your frustration. You just have to soothe her anyway you can. Try the swing until she cries then move her to the bouncy, then to the sling, etc. This is what I did for 4-5 months and it was the only routine that worked. I would always say I was moving my baby to a new "center" like they do in preschool. If her teeth are hurting why not ask the pedi for the correct dosage of Tylenol. That may help some, too. Good luck. It will not last much longer!!

What does her daily sleep schedule look like?

This is an old pedi nurse and mother of 5, 3 grandchildren. Unless your Pedi tells you to worry, don't. Babies are little people, and you notice everyone big has a different personality. She may need more hugging and holding and may truly have some colic, which will be shortly outgrown if so. If colic coupled with teething it will seem like a constant thing. I'd take her to the Pedi and ask what you just wrote about. Your daughter is in the Trust vs Mistrust stage of development, which takes place in the first year of life. She needs to believe her needs are going to be met before she's ready (after 1 year) to move forward to Autonomy vs. Shame & Doubt. (I love Erickson's 8 Ages of Man: after years of watching people I agree with the basic tasks he describes.) Just my opinion, but talk to your Pedi. You've done all the right things, so it may be just a little longer before she has the physical skills to get busy getting into and onto things and make you crazy that way!