Anyone Else's 3 Year Old Picky About What They Wear?

My son is 2.5 and has his favorite shirts. We allow him to pick out his clothes, but we put some of the washed clothes "elsewhere" and tell him that they are dirty, he needs to pick one of these, until he goes through all those other shirts too. He may still want the other ones, but he understands that it is dirty and that I will do my best to get it washed for him.

Oh yes, the Buzz Lightyear argument that we have at least twice a week. I really like your idea of taking turns picking out what he wears and am going to give that one a try too! In our case he LOVES the character jammies that my mom bought him for the cold weather. Fortunately he has 4 pairs, but the fight is to get dressed into play clothes for school in the morning.

What we have found helpful (at least this month) is giving him two options in the morning (neither of which are jammies). "You have to put on clean clothes for school and we're not fighting about it today. You can wear your racecar shirt or the baseball shirt. You pick."

My 2.5 yr old is the same way!!! He loves Cars movie and that is all he wants to wear. We have come to an agreement... (unless he is really tired, then he fusses no matter what). I let him pick between 3 shirts in the morning. It used to be between 2, but he didn't like either one regardless what they were... so now he feels like he is really making a choice! And it is really cute... he puts some serious thought into which shirt he wants to wear!! Sometimes there are character shirts in the mix of 3, and sometimes there isn't. Then at bedtime.. he has about 10 pairs of pajamas... but he will ONLY wear the CARS ones. So I bought him more CARS pajamas (total of 6 CARS pjs now) b/c I don't like to do laundry everyday. He gets to wear his CARS PJs at night (every night) and then he doesn't feel the need to throw a fit and have to wear it during the day for school. which is good b/c he only now has 3 cars shirts for winter (he had more for summer so it was easier). So far it has worked... And yes... I have bought way more clothes than any one child needs, but it saves alot of tears....

My girls (4 and 2.5) are ridiculously picky about their clothes. I just basically let them wear what they want (but they must wear pants when we leave the house in winter).

If he only wants to wear those 2 special shirts then let him....and once they're both in the laundry say "those shirts are dirty and you can wear them again when they're clean. Now, which of your clean shirts do you choose?" That way, HE'S still the one picking a shirt for that day.

Oh, and there's no rule that says as soon as those 2 shirts are in the laundry they need to be washed right away. Maybe they don'e make it through the wash for a few days to allow the other clothes a rotation ;)

Are there three-year-olds who are NOT picky about what they wear? I remember all mine having favorite clothes that just had to be worn! Sometimes they got to pick out from among their clean (!) clothes, but I did try to teach them what went with what - just basic color matching. It worked to an extent. Sometimes it was Mama's turn to choose and they had to go along with it. You might stock up on a couple of extra character shirts just to save yourself some hassle. If you have good thrift stores in your area, check there first - often children grow out of their clothing before they wear them out.

I have major clothing stuggles with my daughter - 41/2 and have realized it's not about her wanting to wear certain things- it's about control and her feeling like she has control. The problem is that I made the mistake of negotiating with her when this first started- probably around 3. Now she thinks she can get her way or get me to give in. So I don't have any great advice other than to start putting your foot down so you don't set a presidence. No, I don't think you should buy only shirt with characters- you are the boss- not him. I agree about letting them assert their independence but we are still the parents. Let him know that he does have choices but he cannot wear the same 2 shirts all week. We put outfits in cubbies on Sunday night for her to pick from through the week- if it's in the cubbie she can wear it- if it's not she can't. We still have struggles but I do wish I'd put my foot down sooner- I think it would have helped. Good luck.

In the scheme of picking battles, I don't think this one is one I would pick to fight. I say let him wear what he likes. Once he wears his favorite shirt, it goes into the dirty clothes and is not subject to being picked again until it's washed. Those are the rules and he will have to live with that. But I do say buy him what he likes and let him wear what he likes, whether it matches ornot or whether it would be something you would pick or not. He obviously is a little independent and may be trying to develop his own style. I bet some of those famous designers wore things that made their parents cringe when they were small. You and dad have to get used to the idea that he's going to have his own likes and dislikes and his own taste and style. Just wait until he's 14!

yes, my daughter is very picky about what she wears. she has no new clothes unless they were gifted to her - everything (besides socks and undies) she wears is hand me downs or thrift store purchases, so she has very few "outfits." however, now she's really into matching tops, bottoms, socks, etc. what i do is bring her several "outfits" and she has to choose from what i bring her. if she chooses only one item, say a dress or a shirt, it is up to her to go find something to go with it if she doesn't like my choices. if she dawdles, i tell her to choose within 3 seconds or i'll choose for her. it never reaches that point. so generally, she picks out her own clothes. there are certain rules, usually weather-related - no tanks without a long-sleeve underneath, no shorts without tights or pants or leggings underneath, always a sweater ("you can take it off when you get to where we're going"), no sandals without socks, you get the picture. although i'd love to be able to coordinate all her outfits (i hate pink!) she wears what she wants, as long as it's safe, modest and warm/cool enough. it has worked out quite well up to know (she's 3.5). oh, i forgot to mention, the clothes have to be CLEAN! if she wants to wear the same thing again and it's clearly dirty, she can wear it around the house, or sometimes i let her wear stuff in the bathtub.

in summary, part of your issue might be the "i pick your clothes today" thing. why not let him choose every day, with some very clear guidelines in place? unless there's an actual reason to choose his clothes, like you're going to church or a wedding/funeral (in which case he still chooses - just from a few outfits that you have pre-chosen FOR him), then let him decide what to wear. it's one of the few areas they can actually exert their control at this age.

and about the clothes that don't get worn, my daughter has things she didn't wear for over a year, but now that she wants to match, it has re-emerged. if you don't spend a bunch of money on clothes then it won't really matter whether he wears it or not.

good luck mama!

You tell him: Do you want to wear (choice A) or (choice B)? Everyday he gets to wear his choice, but you've stilll got control.
Another thought, don't know how well it would work but some people have a hanging shoe or clothes caddy in their child's closet where they put an outfit for each day of the week in the cubes. (Or each approved outfit combo and he chooses the one to wear that day from that caddy?)

As for his top 2 choices, once they're worn, they're in the hamper and maybe move it or cover it so it's inaccessible to him?

My son (now 8yo) is picky too, he still insists on wearing soft (sweat or knit) shorts everyday. He CANNOT wear them to school (our rule) and now that it's cold and he will still change into them (or other approved school shorts) everyday, we've taken the shorts out of his drawers (to be returned when the weather is reasonable for shorts again!). Less (#@!) on our part at seeing him wear somethin inappropriate *again* when he simply doesn't have them to put them on in the 1st place.