Any Advice About Moving Overseas with Young Children..

M.,

My sister-in-law and her family moved to France from MI on very short notice last summer. Their children were 8, 6 and 2 at the time. Her husband still travels a lot even now that they are living in Paris.

I can tell you the positive and negatives and am happy to offer you her feedback directly if you'd like to exchange emails with her.

She is a very laid back and patient person. There has been a lot of getting used to the European way--the basics of shopping, knowing store hours, getting around with public transportation (they do have a car but parking is tough) finding ingredients, figuring out the school system, etc. is challenging.

Her kids are having a fabulous experience and she was worried how her son would adapt but he's doing great. I imagine at least the youngest child will be bilingual and they send pix every few weeks of all the amazing countries they have visited. The youngest has adapted the most easily I think.

There was a lot of pre-planning to be done in order to have the right supplies while they were there--including food, clothing, toys. I know the prices for many things are quite astronomical in France and they had some items shipped by container and others they packed for the flight.

Their plan was to be there for 2 years and it looks like they might extend to 3 now.

Let me know if you want to contact her directly, I'm sure she'd be frank with you. Her husband is in the auto industry and they are honestly thankful they are in Europe with the state of that industry here in the US. They also knew some day he'd get an overseas assignment in order to keep moving up in the company and were thankful they got France as an option because it's got better living situations than some of the other countries.

A.

A little about me:
FT working mom (home office) to a 3 1/2 yr old son and 6 mo old daughter

I don't really have any advice, but I say do it! This is a great opportunity for you and your family, and your children will go up as global citizens with an expanded world view! There is so much to learn from this experience, I think if you don't do it, you will regret it. Good luck!

Fifteen years ago my friend moved to Switzerland for her husband's bank job. It was a 2 year commitment and her kids were 5 and 7. They kept their home here and her brother moved in as the caretaker. They had a wonderful experience with EVERYTHING, and if she were on this website, I know she would say go for it and have a wonderful time; you are giving your kids a terrific opportunity!

GO!!! It's an opportunity of a lifetime...People adjust to new situations all the time.....Keep a cool head, organize yourself and GO!!!

You are so lucky to have a chance to experience what so many people never will.....

Hi I am a veteran of the armed forces and have made a few moves, well, more than a few times myself. It is always difficult when families are involved. Congrat's on your hubby's new position! My best advice is to take it for what it is, a new adventure, kids are so curious and excited to do new things and they are more resilient than we think. I think you will find Switzerland to be more accommodating to your family, perhaps more than most people in the states are! That was my experience anyhow! Everyone speaks English, perhaps better than we do! Yes, you will miss family around you but learning new things about other countries is a once in a lifetime experience! Take lot's of pictures! Switzerland truly is like the movie "Heidi" Rent it and then compare for yourself! You will be fascinated by it all! The castles the stories behind them and the ease of travel in Europe is Phenomenal! Take advantage! Best travels! With new technology don't forget to send home DVD's of your adventures and your family can do the same! My family read storybooks to my baby's and we still have them and cherish them! Kids don't really get the concept of distance and why family can't just come on over! But the technology helps tremendously! If your child is close to one auntie, uncle or grandma then talking to him/her within the first few days arrival helps. Ask that person to ask the child about new things and not on the distance between them. Inquire about the childs new room how exciting it was to be on the plane, etc. Then phone calls can lengthen out to every couple days to once a week, so they are comforted. Oh yeah! Don't forget to send home some chocolate! Your family will look forward to that!

I was in middle school when my family moved overseas and while we were devastated to leave, we were also just as devastated to move BACK to the US. There was a group called the American Women's Club and it was really helpful to my mom to meet people. Plus, if your children will be in kindergarten/preschool you'll meet others that way too. Depending on where you move to there should be international schools that generally teach in English. Also, the class sizes are smaller so even though I was a shy middle schooler, it was so much easier to start school there than at an American school where you have hundreds of kids in your class. Switzerland is beautiful. While your kids might be too young to remember it, I think it's a great opportunity at the same time!! I would love to have that opportunity for my kids some day. Good luck!

You have to do whats good for the family. The 4 year old will adjust and you'll be back in 2 years...that'll fly by. Kids make friends everywhere. You're lucky they're so young. This is the best time if you need to uproot them temporarily. Just don't remind them of who they're leaving behind, just that you'll see them again someday.

Being a military brat I can honestly tell you that we adjust well. It won't take long before they are doing just fine....especially if mom and dad are excited about the move and make it an adventure. If either of you acts worried or talks about being worried then the kids will pick it up and play up to it.

We moved three times before I was five and I don't even rememeber them. I do remember little bits about the places we lived, but no trauma.

It is a great opportunity to live overseas and see some of the world. Being in Europe you will be able to travel and see so much of that part of the world very easily since everything is within close proximity. It will be great.

Be sure to promise yourselves that you will take an adventure to somewhere at least once a month. How sad to be there for two years and never go anywhere.

It is a safe part of the world and you don't need to worry about your kids getting into trouble with drinking or drugs since they are so young.

My husband has been offered a position in Mexico for two years, but neither of us is confident it is safe after doing some internet research and discovering that part of Mexico has the largest number of kidnappings in the country.

Being that my husband is Puerto Rican it would be nice to go and learn spanish even if it would be the Mexican form (which is more proper than Puerto Rican)

Anyway I think it is a great opportunity and you are fretting about your kids when they will be the ones to adjust more quickly than anyone. Maybe it is you that is more hesitant....I know my mother hating moving and she always put a huge damper on our moves making us all miserable when it could have been a great adventure. We always adjusted well and enjoyed our stays in different places quickly even when she kept moping about the move.

A mom really sets the tone for her family whether she or anyone else wants to admit it.

If you are excited, they will climb on board.

You might want to consider home schooling your children while overseas. A friend of mine just recently had to move of a year over seas because of her husbands job. They decided before they went that they would be home schooling their daughters. Abeka has some great curriculum that is used all over the world. Personally when I home schooled our son for 7th and 8th grade we used Alpha Omega for our main curriculum but that is because they offered the classes on line. The school my son attended PreK - 6th grade used Abeka as they main curriculum and he thrived. There are many home school families who would be glad to help advise you. Or you can contact http://www.iche.org/ "Illinois Christian Home Educators". They are a wealth of information.
As far as your children making friends and play mates. Most European schools have English as a regular class so most of the children will probably speak english. You also could have your husband find out if there are other families with the some company living there already.
My opinion would be if the an opportunity like this would have happen to my husband we would have went because it is an opportunity of a life time for your whole family.

God Bless,
S.

You have gotten some great advice! You can keep in touch via Skype, which is free to use over the internet. Take lots of pictures of your current surroundings, your house, school, tree in the front yard, friends, family, your car, EVERYTHING!Then make a scrapbook from it, not even anything fancy... Has anyone else from your husband's company moved there? Or will they be? If so, maybe your kids can meet their new friends here and then once you are there, you have a few familiar faces. As fas as the schooling, I am sorry I don't have any suggestions with that. Good luck in your decision, I think it is a fabulous opportunity.

Given how young your children are I think it's the perfect time to do something like this. GO for it! It will be much harder when they get older.

A friend of mine moved to england for 2 years as a little girl. the mom wrote to the people in her new building and explained halloween to them so that my friend could go trickortreating in her new building. I have always thought that was very thoughtful of her mom.

Another huge help was that her mom didn't want her to lose touch with her old friends from kindergarten since she'd come back to our school again eventually and her mom didn't want her to have to start all over again. So her mom frequently wrote letters from herself and her daughter to our classroom and the teacher read the letters to us so that we wouldn't forget about my friend, and we wouldn't lose touch. That made it easier for her to re-integrate herself when she came back.

Hi M.,

Due to my father's job, we moved quite frequently when I was growing up. I lived in England, Sweden, Germany, India in addition to New York, California, and North Carolina. Each time it was a little scary (but also exciting!) to move to a new place (and sometimes having to learn a new language) but it was even more difficult to leave all the wonderful friends we made. I still am in contact with many of them and believe myself to be very blessed having experienced different cultures - it is definitely a part of who I am today. I wouldn't change my childhood for anything in the world. My father will sometimes now say that he can't believe how my siblings and I were able to cope but, as others have said, kids are resilient. I have had friends who have turned down jobs overseas because they didn't want to move the kids and I always felt that they really missed a wonderful opportunity for the kids to grow in ways that they won't have the opportunity to with living in once place. I say go for it and cherish every moment of the experience together as a family!

Hi,

We moved to USA from India for about 4 years, when our daughter was just 5 months old! We are back in India now though.

Its going to be tougher at times (especially Christmas and other Holidays) when you wish your family was around.
But I think with 2 kids you should be just fine.
Kids adjust way too quickly than we do.

I lived in the US with guilt of having separated my daughter from her grandparents etc..but belive me the guilt and fuss was not worth it. It hardly mattered to my daughter anyway :) Now she has settled back very well in India like she never went abroad!!

Wish you the very best!