Another Supernany Sleep Method Question

I don't know how old your kids are and I haven't read your other posts, but something my husband and I tried with our son was staying in the bedroom with our son, but every night moving farther and farther away from the bed until eventually we were in the hallway. It might be easier than just always putting the kids back into bed!

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I do not want to sound harsh, to you or your children, but I am afraid that You and your Husband are the ones making it fun for the children. The idea of not talking to them, and escorting them back to their beds in silence is so it is not an enjoyable experience. It would be different if after they have been tucked in they have to go potty, or they genuinely need a little cuddle or something. I don't want them to be on some 'punishment walk' and made to feel bad. But do not make them feel good. No cutesy tucking in, or lots of hugs and kisses. They need to go to bed. 117 times is ridiculous. After like time 5 I would ignore them. Going in and answering their call every time they do it is reinforcing why they do it in the first place.

I think you have a plan, and you need to Stick to It!
Remind yourself that it is in their best interest to get a good nights rest, this won't last forever, and you are doing the right thing.

GOOD LUCK!

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Oh, girl, I don't have twins and i reached 117 with my daughter all on her own! ;) Hang in there. I too believe in this method but it does take a bit out of you. It will get better but you have to stick to the program. I think they will think it's a game for a while, but not forever. You have to remember to not talk or yell, which is super, super hard, but I found it worked better when I did that. I don't think you mentioned how old your kids are and it can make a difference. The older they are the more aware they are and the more stamina they have, all which makes it harder for you! I would also talk about during the day with them and give them a heads up for the plan for that night. Straight up tell them what you want and ask what they're going to do at bed time. Tell them if they choose to get up you and Daddy are going to just keep putting them back in bed, etc. etc. I felt that helped with my daughter (she was about 2-2.5). She didn't really want it to happen and once we talked about it and it kept happening she kinda realized she didn't want to be a part of it anymore. It certainly wans't overnight, but it helped! ;) It is only fun right now, soon it will not be and the number will go down! Hang in there because having them stay in their own room night after night is the best feeling in the world! You can do it and the reward is worth it, just remember that!!

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To be perfectly honest, when it came to bed time, I don't talk to my ped. Only if my normally well sleeping child is having a medical issue and not sleeping, then I would. But, they aren't in the house with me when it comes to bed time. I co-slept with my daughter & transitioned her to her own bed this way. I would lay with her til she fell asleep. If she woke in the middle of the night, she came to our bed. It just slowly got better, where she doesn't need me as much at night anymore. She's 3 1/2 now. I plan on giving her whatever she needs at night to sleep.
Granted, I don't have twins, so I don't know that aspect of it. I also don't remember how old your kids were. But, it won't always be a game. If this is the method that you want to use, just be consistent. It will take less time in the long run. But, it might take some time to get there. Consistency is the key.

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C.,

Have you tried some sort of reward system? I had to give stickers each night to my then 2 1/2 year old for her to sleep all night long in her bed. After 4 stickers she got some sort of reward. Then the number of stickers increased. She's ten now and never wakes me. :-)

Also, you guys have given up after 117 tmes before, right? Well, your kids know that so they may even try 127 times the next night. Creating a habit is easy but breaking it is exhausting. (I've helped created several undesirable habits during the course of raising my kids)

If your goal is for your twins to go to sleep without mom and dad in the room then stick with your plan.

Would a checklist of some sort work to get them ready for bed. Are they visual learners? Make a picture chart of what to expect at bedtime (put on pjs, brush teeth, read nighttime book, hugs from mom and dad, lights out, go to sleep). Depending on age is how many things you list. (for example, a two/three year old may be able to handle a system of pictures where you have two spots: first we do this and then we do this. You move the pictures or let the children move the pictures when task is completed)

Also, would it be possible to seperate them at bedtime. Do you have another room? I am sure they feed off of one another. Could you put the heavier sleeper to bed first? I had to do this when I had all three of my children in the same room.

Here's another idea - if what they want is snuggles from mom or dad could you set a timer of how long you will lie down with them and when that goes off you have to leave the room? I don't know if that would work....

Good luck! You are doing a great job. Just stay consistent with not sleeping in the room with them if this is the goal you are hoping for. (I have been there sleeping on the floor of my child's room. I know it is no fun and eventually we worked it out and all three of my kiddos sleep like champs.

J.

with our daughter, the key is definately no eye contact. She went through a phase of knocking on her door and asking for things 10 or more times a night, so we went to the store and picked out stickers (her fav thing) and every morning where she doesnt knock on the door for anything other than really having to go to the bathroom, she gets a sticker in the morning. This has worked really well for us, I'm not sure how old your girls are if something similar would work for them. Good luck, momma, it's not going to be an easy road.

I had a similar dilemma with my 30 MO daughter - I just continued to put her back to bed without saying a word - after a couple of weeks it did stop. She did go through the phase of thinking it was a game as well - but she soon found that it was not going to work. I never thought it was going to get better - but it did. Hang in there - I hope it works for you as well.

It may not seem like it now, but the method WILL work. But it will work only if you stick to your guns and do it. the kids will catch on. Maybe not tonight or tomorrow, but it will. This type of "game" won't be very exciting to the kids for long.
the doctor is right.

I tried the supernanny way, but after 100 times, I gave up. My pediatrician told me to ferberize my son over again. She said to either put a gate across the bedroom door (he pushed it over) or lock the door. Then we could check on him ever few minutes decreasing the time or if that bothered him even more, then not check on him at all. The goal was to keep him in the room, not necessarily in his bed. Each night he cried less and less and overall, it only took 3 nights. i don't know if u have the room but if u could split them up that would help.

It's an issue of standing your ground. Eventually the game will get old.

I rely heavily on a book called "Healthy sleep habits, happy child", I would recommend picking up a copy. It helped me get my babes in line quickly.

Yes it works. Forget about the rude responses you got, I'm sorry you did since that is NOT what this is for. This site is NOT for other moms to feel "holier than thou" and offer snide/rude comments.

You asked if it works, it does. We have 7 1/2 y/o twins and went through the same thing. We didn't move into 'big boy beds' until around 3 1/2 (thanks to crib tents!!) but once we did, we went through the same thing with them getting up and we too, ended up staying in their room laying on the floor between their beds to keep them there. Like you, it quickly became inconvenient and a bad pattern. We did the following:
1- took any and all toys out of their room - this included books.
2- told them sternly throughout the day that when bedtime came what was expected (for all it was worth!!)
3- did the super nanny thing.
Now, we weren't as good about it as she is, since after we hit double digits, there were a few episodes of yelling - our frustration. Anyway, we stuck with it and it didn't take long before they adjusted. I was told once when the boys were babies that any behavior we try to change while they're young will: 1- get worse before it gets better and 2- you won't see any results before 3 days.

Sometimes it's a horrible and frustrating 3 days, but it seems that that rule of thumb has held true.

I know it's hard, but stick with it and before you know it, you'll be past this and grateful that you did it.

J.

I am sorry to hear that you are having such a challenging time and recieved such a hard time from others (I didn't read what others had to say). It is x2 with twins because they can really feed off of each other I would imagine. I don't have twins so I won't even pretend to know what that is like. I do however have 4 kids ages 7, 5, 3 and 8 months and two bedrooms that they share. It can be a challenge to keep kids in there bed especially when you switch them to big kid beds. Really the only thing that keeps them in bed is your say so. So it is really more of an obedience issue. After 117 times I don't think I could have kept my cool so long so good for your husband that must have been very tiring putting them back in the bed that many times. I know that this is very taboo but have you considered spankings when they disobey and get up, say after a few warnings? If you aren't the spanking kind you could always consider a rewards program like for every night you stay in bed you both get a sticker and after you get 2 stickers then we will go to Chuck E. Cheese (this also works with potty training) start small and then make it increase as they get better at it. By the way you don't have to eat there just eat dinner first and then buy $20 in tokens and let them play, at that age even McDonalds play land can be a good treat, and that is free. You could also start taking things away when they don't stay in bed. As for the spankings I use that as a last resort but it lets them know that you are serious. I have had to do that with 3 of my 4 (obivously not a baby) to get my kids to stay in bed for nap time. Bed time wasn't so hard as it was dark. It only took them each 2 days and two spankings to stop getting out of bed. I also left their door open and watched them from a distance as I know they would get out of bed, put them back in bed several times and told them ok this is it if you get out again you will be spanked before actually doing it. They were also wearing pullups so it didn't really hurt. But whatever you do be consistient and don't give in and yes it will get better. It just might not seem like it now. It sounds like you are on the right track with your twins by putting them back to bed every time they get up however many times it may be. Good luck!

I think pediatricians are not experts at sleep. My ped talked the talk but when it really came down to it, she did not follow her own advice with her children. I think you have to decide what will work for you and what your goals are. As parents, if you are both on the same page and doing the same thing, the kids will learn the rules. But if you disagree, don't belive what you are doing will work, or are inconsistent, it will not work and you will be in a tough spot. There are lots of ways to help kids get to sleep - I'd start to deconstruct your day and routines and figure out how to ensure that your kids are having a chance to wind down at the end of the day, as well as having enough time with both of you so they can sleep. One thing that works for us, is that we read and talk with our kids before bed in their rooms. Then we put them in bed, say our goodnights, and let them know that we "know you can sleep in your bed by yourself. You are such a great sleeper, and I know you can fall asleep on your own." We have said thinngs like this since they were babies - sounds nuts but it helps. Good luck and be gentle with yourselves and your kids. I know you are tired, but it's not a life and death situation, and if it works for you to be in their rooms, then that's OK.

My son did the same thing and it was exasperating. But eventually they will tire of the game. You just have to continue to be consistent, persistent, and make it no fun for them. I know this sounds terrible, but I had to be a little stern and rough with my son until he would cry once he realized how displeased I was. Once I heard him cry, I knew the game playing was over for the night. I didn't hurt him, but I did have to hurt his feelings a little. That was the only way he would take me seriously and stop playing around. Now he is almost five and stays in bed great.

your ped didn't give you the number 117, you guys came up with that. why did it take daddy until 75 or 80 to get stern? not every method works for every child, but this is an excellent method that works for most kids most of the time. consistency is the key. you're already sinking into fail thoughts after a single night. it takes much longer to break a bad habit than it does to form it in the first place, so take a deep breath and just get it done. no talking and no eye contact means 'don't let the interaction be exciting.' it doesn't mean you can't say 'stop that' if it's getting ridiculous.
khairete
S.

yeah right now they might think it's kinda funny but once they realize night after night no matter how many times they get up that nothing cool is going to happen and they just get put back in bed it will get old for them. But honestly I remember hearing it could take a couple weeks for it to work. Now that doesn't mean every night will be 117 times of putting them in bed but it could take 5 or 10 times after 2 weeks or so. I know for my daughter the first night was the worst but after 3 nights she stopped coming out of her room. so good luck and stay strong!

Let them know at dinner, they are supposed to stay in bed all night. Let them know that once they are in bed, you will not allow them to get up. That this is not a game, this is bedtime. Let them know to grow up big and strong like (insert favorite person, dad, neighbor, super hero) they need to sleep all night long.

Do you have a bedtime routine? Eat a quiet dinner, no TV, no phones ringing, no excitement.

Quiet Bath, read books..Read books they have heard over and over again and do not ask them questions, do not read with an animated voice. Towards the end of the book read slower and slower. Do not read a short book, read one that is an involved story.

If they get up, stick with it. It can take a few nights 3 or 4. Once they realize you are not giving up, they will stop. I remember this being a hard thing to get through but it really does work.. Is their room set up for summer sleeping? darkened room, sound machine?

Then no eye contact , I used to say , it is time for you to sleep or it is bedtime, go to sleep now.