Another Potty Training Queston

When my oldest daughter let us know she was ready to potty train when she would bring us a diaper and wipes to changer her. She got treats (m&ms, jelly beans) for using the potty chair. Sometimes she would use the big potty, but she was not consistent until we spent a weekend with friends and she saw her friend use the big potty. That was all it took for her to use the big potty all the time. She also really liked the potty seats that you put on the seat to make it kid size, then she wasn't afraid that she would fall in. She would put in on herself when she needed to potty.

Good luck, we have been working with daughter # 2 and she is slowly getting the hang of it. I found that she did worse on the days where she wore diapers or pullups with underware. So for now she is in pullups and when she can go several days in a row with out pottying in a pullup she gets to wear underware.

My daughter is 23 months old and potty trained. We used the Potty Training in One Day Kit and it really works! It comes with a doll, two bottles, some doll training pants, and a book that tells you how the whole program works. Basically it prepares both of you for the big day. Children take pride and joy in teaching and showing others how to do things, so they can teach their baby (Potty Patty) how to go in the toilet or potty. This reinforces the behavior you are trying to teach them. My daughter thinks it is really fun and loves to go in her little potty. She will go on the toilet if I hold her, so I need to get her a stool and a smaller seat for the toilet and I am hoping we'll get rid of the little potty. But at least we are only dealing with nighttime diapers now! You should really give this a try. It helps approach the issue from all angles preparing both of you for the adjustment.

A.

Hi J.,

I don't know if this will help or not, but is it possible she's afraid of the potty?

My dd potty trained early - a few weeks after her second birthday. But about one month into being potty trained, she suddenly developed a fear about the toilet.

When we asked her what was wrong, she said, "I fall down and be all gone." She was afraid of being flushed down the toilet!

We had her stop using the big toilet and only use the little potty - I even had to get a little travel potty to take with me (thanks to some great advice from mamasource!). She eventually got over her fears and now uses the big toilet.

Anyway, that's a LOOONG way of saying, maybe she's afraid of the noise? The feel of the potty under her skin? The splash of the water?

Another suggestion: does she have the opportunity to see children her age or slightly older use the potty?

If a child is ready to potty train (and it sounds like your daughter is), watching a child her age use the potty and be praised for it can be a big motivator! I've seen children become potty trained in a WEEK based on their watching children their age use the potty and hearing the adults say, "what a big boy/girl!" "Good job!" and so on.

Best of luck!! M.

Here's one idea:

My niece did that...had total bladder control...but insisted on her diaper. (For an idea of where she's coming from emotionally...try peeing your pants...it's almost impossible to do!)what my SIL finally did was in 2 parts.

1) She made crotchless diapers!!! (It's the new vogue). What she actually did was make 2 cuts with scissors in the pullups, so a diamond shape was missing. My niece would wear underwear during the day and then if she couldn't pee in the toilet my SIL would put on one of her diapers. The sound of her pee hitting the water freaked my niece out at first but she gradually got used to it.

2) Gradually cut away more and more of the pullups until they were bottomless. In about a week my niece was hopping up on the potty sans diaper like she'd alway been there.

I would strongly suggest if you try this that you don't switch into a different kind of diaper. Stick with what she's got and modify them. I'd also use your own best judgment on whether to keep the "pee hole" a surprise or to tell your DD about it. My SIL kept it a surprise since my niece a)liked "sneaky" things and when my SIL pointed out how "sneaky that was!!!" it cracked her up and b) could argue like nobodies buisness.

~Z.

You can also try turning on the faucet while she's on the potty. The sound of rushing water sometimes makes you have to go.

My daughter was also stubborn about potty training nearly 3yrs old. She wouldn't even sit on the potty. We didn't force it, but just kept asking if she wanted to sit on the potty and finally she tried it and succeeded. It was all down hill after that.

That is really frustrating! Potty training is not fun, or easy. We are training our 2 year old daughter right now too. So what I've started doing, and it's not easy, but giving her the "big girl" panties anyway. My daughter has had several accidents, but she really doesn't like having wet underwear. It does make for a mess for you, but I really think especially if she's 3 that she'll learn fast it's better to go in the potty than in her pants. We have all together just said no more diapers you are a big girl and we're going for it. It's a little messy, but you just have to be consistent. She isn't going to get it right away. Good Luck! :-)

Try the book Everyone Poops. It's a great book and helped our 2nd daughter figure it out. Also, we discovered that for a piece of chocolate she was happy to do her business in the appropriate place! For our first, a marshmallow was the successful reward! The trick was finding a treat that they didn't usually get - something extra special to make the effort worth it.

Here is some out of the box thinking that I gave on another board. Lay out several diapers and together draw and cut holes into the diapers of progressively larger hole sizes. This graduates her in her dependency on diapers until she is ready to go on the potty without putting on a diaper and if you have it scheduled right, all of the diapers will gone when you come to the biggest hole. She also is able to take ownership in this process.

The other woman said that this worked great.

Jenifer,

I am sorry to hear there is a deadline because it's best not to rush her. I would tell yourself you are going to try for two weeks and have her wear training underwear as well as a protective nylon pant cover. Just have a bleach bucket ready and don't complain just let it run it's course. After two weeks if she is peeing way more times in her underwear, tell her you will try again in two weeks. When you are training her I would buy videos for her to watch and ask her if she needs to go every two hours. Also have her get her own pants and put them on herself. Dressing is part of the whole process as well as learning to wipe, flushing potty and washing hands...Her reward, being independent of course!

Best of luck to you and your beautiful girl and this exciting adventure.
G.

I watch 2 friends kids plus my own and have for 5 years now. When it was time for potty training, before we put them in the "big kid" underwear I bought the "Potty Power" DVD and the watched it and watched it and watched it..lol then they were asking to wear big kid underwear and go in the potty so they could say they had "Potty Power"! It was fun and they all had set backs but it all worked out. She may not be quite ready so start easing her in to it. You just have to try differnt ways until you find the one that fits her.
Good Luck!

Two things were established with this: 1) She knows when she has to pee, and 2) She's in control.

The diapers have to go. Set them on fire in the backyard, in front of her, if you have to. She's just proven she can do this...only she's scared to make the shift. She won't be scared once she does it. In two days she will be FINE.

Let her know, in some real, tangible way, that the diapers are no longer an option. I found my daughter (the first day) didn't want to go if I sat there with her. As soon as I went into the sink area, she did it! I don't advocate punishing her, but your expectations are realistic, especially since you know she can hold it AND can tell when it's coming.

It will go fine, I promise!

You could try leaving her in the diapers that she's used to and tell her to tell you when she's ready to try the toilet. This gives her a choice. Two year olds are all about choice. Perhaps when she does, ask her if she wants to wear her diaper which she can take off before peeing or would she like to try the panties again.

I also like the idea of using a little potty and would add to try using it in another room. I've seen and read about this working for some toddlers.

Another idea is for you to sit on the big pottie while she sits on the little potty.

It sounds like she might be wary of being a big girl. Being a big girl has responsibilities. Sometimes my granddaughter, when she was around 3, came right out and said I don't want to be a big girl and would curl up in my lap. I'd tell her it was OK to be both a big girl and a baby.

This happened first around the time her baby brother was to be born. I think her reaction to being a big girl/big sister confusion was caused by the new brother. She was fearful that he would take her place, yes. But I also think her wanting to be a baby is still used when she's feeling like she's overwhelmed.

She is 8 now and her brother 5. She still sometimes sits in my lap (She barely fits and I miss the little body :))and pretends to be a baby. we rock while she pretends to put her thumb in her mouth. She curls her thumb up next to her mouth. She says goo, goo, ga. This lasts for maybe 5 minutes now. She's 8 going on 13. Scary!

My advice would be to let her wear her undies all day....tantrum or no tantrum, and if she pees in them, she has to clean herself up, and put new undies on. Just try not to make a big deal out of it all, and she will tire of the process, and start usting the toilet!

My three old little girl almost three and a half wouldn't go potty for anything. I too needed her potty trained for preschool this fall. So Bible School was going to be next weekand her aunt would be her teacher. Her 30 month oldcousin had been potty trained for months. So I told her if she wanted to go to Bible School she needed to start going potty. Her motivation came overnight and she was potty trained in two days. She wore no underwear or pull ups so when she felt she had to go she had to sit on the potty. She also wanted to sit on the toliet like everyone else. If she pees on the floor she has to help clean it up little girls hate that. Other than an occasionally accident we are dry all day and at night now. We promised her she could get her ears pierced if she started going potty. Stay calm . It will happen .

I know I've posted this elsewhere, but my friend finally got her daughter on board by saying "You know, when I tell the garbageman that you are peeing on the potty and he won't have to carry away any more of your wet diapers, he'll be so happy that he'll bring you a present!" She bought a gift and stashed it in the closet so that it would be on hand when needed. Worked like a charm. She did it again to get her daughter through the bowel movement stage as well, and they never looked back.

Hi! I haven't started the potty training nightmare yet but my dad is a graphic designer and just happened to do a website for a product called the weeminder. Go to www.weeminder.com and check it out! Good luck, my time is coming soon too!

Try putting her potty near the sink or bathtub, and when she has to go potty, sit her there and ask her to stay put while you wash the sink/tub real quick. Turn on the water and work slowly while ignoring her. Let the sound of the water do the rest. You could also on a nice day go play out back with her naked and do not give in when she begs for a diaper. Have the potty outside and nearby. There is a good chance she'd rather go in the potty than on herself. Also, with my son, we gave him a treat each time he sat and tried as well so that he would like sitting and trying. We have a bowl of "potty candy" that my son gets when he goes (whoppers, kissables, etc).

I would get her excited about the underwear again but don't let her wear them until she goes on the potty. Put books in the bathroom that only stay in there, and wait for her to get excited about it again. If you don't push it but she sees the things that she can have if she goes and can't have if she doesn't she might be motivated to try. We did stickers just for trying at first. Self motivation is really the only thing that seems to work long term, so hang in there and try making less of a big deal about it but just be matter of fact about things that big kids that go on the potty get that are different and new. Change can be hard and she just may need to get her head around the idea without being pushed. Good Luck!

My son was afraid of the big potty. My daughter thought the training potty was a toy. It sounds like your daughter fears losing something in the toilet. You may have her pick out a seat or a chair of her own.

I read a few of the responses and I didn't see this. Take her to the store and let het pick out her own underwear and explain that whatever is on her underwear can not get dirty or wet. If they do get wet or dirty she should change herself and put new ones on. I also used m&m's with my daughter. I gave her some when she went potty. My two girls also took a very long time to be potty trained. I tried everything I knew of with them and they both decided at 4 that they were ready. Sometimes it just takes time. Be patient, every child grows at different speeds and they are ready at different times. We can not make our children do things they are not ready to do.