Potty Training for 3 Year Old - Johnson,VT

A lot of people think that potty training is about LEARNING - and that, therefore, a "very bright little girl" should learn it quickly. Unfortunately, that's not the case. She has learned what you expect, so she's excited about the big girl underwear - but she knows she can't do it, so she runs away. She sits on the potty because you want her to, but she doesn't "go" because she doesn't have to, hasn't figured out how to push anything out, and so on. She's sitting there, but her brain isn't sensing anything, so nothing happens.

Here's the problem - it's a developmental stage. Her brain has to get the "full bladder" or "full rectum" signal from those organs, and she has to translate that into action. That part of her brain isn't developed yet. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with her; it just means that kids have different timetables. Don't some of us have early talkers, while others have early walkers? Don't some kids read early, while others develop incredible gross motor skills sooner than their peers? We cannot rush them - we can provide them with opportunities and encouragement, but we can't sit there with a 9 month old and say "You're bright, why don't you walk???" just because a friend's child did just that.

Your daughter isn't ready. There's nothing you can do except celebrate and be confident in her other achievements and milestones, and wait for this potty stage to develop. Put the diapers back on, forget about the "training" part, and take the stress away from both of you. Tell her, "when you're ready, we'll try again." See what happens in a few months.

What it boils down to is whether she is ready or not. You can cart her to the toilet, put her in underwear, or let her go commando but if she doesn't equate the physical feeling of having to go to the potty, nothing is going to help. It doesn't mean she isn't bright or "normal" it just means she's not ready to train yet. And that's fine...all this get the kid of of diapers by the time they're two is a bunch of hooey. You end up making it worse for your child and yourself if you do that. She will get it when the time is right. She won't be peeing in pull-ups in second grade. :)

I would just go back to diapers and wait a couple of months, then try again. She clearly isn't totally ready. It doesn't have anything to do with being bright or not. My oldest son is very bright, was reading by 3.5, but also was not potty trained until 3.5. We tried several times before that (since he was 2.5 I think) with no luck, lots of accidents, and lots of arguments. When he was ready, it was so easy, so quick! He was trained in 3 days. My middle son was ready much earlier and was trained at 2.5, but also in 3 days. I just don't think it's worth all the hassle of potty training a child who isn't quite ready. Yes, you will have to buy more diapers if you wait, but your stress will be so much less, the mess will be so much less, and the arguing will be so much less. When you try again, try for 3 days, and if you don't have success, just wait another while longer.

Also, I agree about not using pull-ups. I purchased them when I was potty training my first, but they weren't helpful, and with my second I just went straight to underwear.

Ditch the pull ups! Pull up ARE diapers with an elastic waist. Put her in undies, load her up with water and juice and cart her to the potty every 30 minutes. She needs to feel the wet in her undies and the poo to really know that it is uncomfortable. And, she needs to get into the habit/routine of going to the potty. 2 or 4 times a day is not enough for a potty trainer. Once they are successful getting the stuff into the pot then they can learn to hold it longer. But they need to go in the pot often to get the habit trained. I bribed all of my trainers, 2 m&m's for peeing in the potty, a lolly pop for pooping in the potty. I don't punish mistakes, just " utoh you had an accident, next time you have to pee or poop we have to get to the potty really fast ok!" And, when they would sit on the potty and nothing happened I would tell them it was a good try. Good luck.

When I potty trained both my boys they were about 3 years old. I'm a working mom so what I did was on the weekends we would spend most of the day in one room. Either the bedroom or family room and watch DVD's or playgames with the potty right there. I would have their favorite drinks (juice, Milk or whatever) so that they could get more chances at peeing. Also, have grahm crackers or something on hand to create a thurst. The purpose was for me to be right there and catch them the minute they had to go potty to make sure that they went into the potty. It was easier than having them just set on the potty for minutes at a time. Also, they did not wear any pull-ups or underpants while they were training in the house. It was easier that way they could just set down fast and not have to worry about pulling their paints down. However, once they get got the potty thing down I then went to pull-ups in the house and they then had to learn how to pull the paints down fast enough without peeing on themselves.LOL That was another challenge.
We had plenty of accidents but eventually they got the hang of it. I think they have a tendency to "hold it" while they are setting on the potty waiting. But after they actually go into the potty a couple of times it is much easier.
I would help them to carry the potty container to the bathroom and we would pour the pee into the toilet so they would know this is actually where the pee goes. And if they had an accident they would assist in cleaning it up and put their dry pull-ups on by themselves. I think if they participate in all areas of the training it helps them to understand it better.

It only took one weekend for my youngest to get the idea. He still had accidents but he would at least try to get to the potty on his own.

I'm with Brenda H. It's much easier to have her get it if you wait until she has to go and get her to the potty rather than making her sit and wait until she has to go. Be on her like glue for a day or two and get her to the potty as soon as she starts to pee. She will quickly put together that she needs to get to the potty when she has that feeling and will start telling you before she pees.

you have to ditch the pull-ups and just go for the underwear. Too similar to a diaper. Bring her to the potty every hour, and celebrate success ridiculously. Be prepared to have accidents. Bite the bullet to do errands, and stop at each store's bathroom (my daughter LOVED that, and we had more success that we). Of course pack back-up clothing (3 sets made me comfortable :) We promise a toy with proven success (training is done, minimal accidents for pee or poop).