This question is for my fiance. He has a daughter who is 3. We have her every other week, so we have her 50% of the time. We pay for her child care when we have her and buy all of her clothes, shoes and food when she is with us. Her mother has 2 other children with 2 other men, but she receives no help from these other men. She was having financial trouble so she went to DHS and signed up for food stamps and families first on all 3 children. The problem is, when you collect families first the government requires you to file child support on the father. He has to go for an appointment on 06/12 and he is nervous they are going to want him to pay an outrageous amount so that the state can collect what they have paid out to her. He cannot afford to pay for her childcare, food, clothes ect. and pay child support on top of that. We are afraid that if he has to pay child support, he will have to be an every other weekend parent. I find this totally unfair to him and to his daughter. Has anyone else been in a 50/50 situation, and if so how did it work out? What should we do?
Well, my husband settled out of court, but they set his amount at $206 a month! I think its absolutely rediculous. We are already paying for so much, but when they did the calculations they said he is %70 responsible financially and her Mom is only %30 responsible. Its sad because I think we are going to have to give up having her every other week because we cannot afford childcare and groceries and clothes for her on top of child support. I guess the good fathers get punished while the deadbeats run free.
Sorry but we just went through a similar situation. Bring receipts of what you have spent, but the judge told us that that was considered a "gift" not child support however It will show that he is involved in her care and look better for him.
my sister had a similar situation. The father would buy diapers and clothes every now and then and DHS considered that child support. Maybe if he and his ex go to DHS they can set up an arrangment. He needs to have recipets for everything he has paid for. IE clothes, food, shoes, daycare, etc. I also don't think they can force a limited amount of visitation, especially when things are going well the way they are.
Good luck.
I have seen this alot and what you should do is gather ALL the receipts from which you have purhased items for her. This will be your proof when you go to your appointment. Keep in mind that the case workers work for the person filing the child support and it might not be a bad idea to consult an attorney.....someone who has your best interest as well as your other children. In our experience the caseworkers have not considered the other children. Make sure you don't let them push him into accepting an amount that will make is hard for yourselves later on.From this point on...make sure you keep ALL receipe purchased for this child. I know it seems little much but I have seen alot and they tell you that they seek child support on the father before you sign papers to get help.
Since your fiance has his daughter every other week anyway. He should file for joint custody. However, this will more than likely include some weekends, but will reduce what he pays out in CS. Also, he should discuss going to court with the mother to ensure her plans to tell them that he has been providing for their daughter & spending time with her on a regular; reoccurring basis. This should help with any "back support" that they require him to pay (if any). Hopefully, your fiance can get an attorney to assist him with this matter. However, if the mother is "fair" he may not need one. My prayers to you & your fiance that this matter is resolved peacefully & fairly. God Bless!
My ex and I have 50/50 and we live in NC. If you go on google and put in NC(or whatever state you are in)child support worksheet and there will be some that come up. You enter in all of his and her income information that you know and how many days you have the child. It also asks how much you each pay for healthcare and daycare, etc. And it will calculate the amount. In NC there is no way around it. It is the amount it is. For 3 kids I get 140$ from my ex. So depending on how much he and she make and the expenses from both... is how much it will come out to be.
When he goes to the child support meeting he needs to let the DA or whoever he is working with know the custody arrangement that they have had. Since its a 50/50 split he may not have to pay for anything, but she may also not be able to claim their child for benefits through DHS. They will also take into consideration any other children he has and any other ones she has before they set an agreement or amount. Hope everything goes ok. Congrats on your upcoming wedding.
why not contest it and go for custody of the child. It sounds like your home is more secure and stable anyway. If you have custody, ask for nothing from her (as you probably wont get it anyway), but the state should like not having to pay her extra for your child anyway. Sad situation however you look at it. The children are the ones that suffer. Fight for the childs best. God bless!
have your fiance go to court and get touch of his little daughter this can be done if she have 2 men in the house because of her bad situation and it can be brought to court to get touch of the child after you married him this will work.he does not have to pay support because of her mother is not take care of her kids this can be done to turn her in with the dept of human service and they will check the woman's house and the kids can be taking away from her.Be sure to keep all debit bill that was paid for the child without the mother 's help.
I work for DHS in West Virginia and I know each state may be different, but here you only have to go through BCSE to file for child support if you as the mother receive adult medicaid and/or cash assistance. You do not have to if only food stamps and children's medicaid is received. So, you may want to check into this policy where you live. You can choose to do so, but it is not required. She might just be trying to collect child support because she wants to. Hope this helps!
I agree the case worker for child support needs to know that dad has the little one half the time and what he pays for while he has her and not only will it be him but dhs will go after the fathers of both the other children mom has but do let them know about the time arangements that plays a big role in what is determined along with any and all other expences paid by dad for this little one and due to the split she probably wont be able to claime the child at least thats what i think i was told im going thru something similar but i think i was told that if there is an even split then the child cannot be claimed by either parent for any kind of dhs help where as in my situation there is 1 day difference between mine and yours
Normally if he has to pay child support he would not have to pay the food, clothing, etc as well. That is to come out of the child support payment. I would suggest that they try to settle this out of court if possible but if not, his attorney should try to compromise with her attorney that if he pays less child support than what his income would expect, he will continue to offer support for clothing and food, etc He should also try to work out a plan where he continues to get her the same schedule. Most of the time the father gets the child every other weekend and on the weekends he does not get her, he will get her that Wednesday. That is the average that the judges award which is more than you guys get her now if you add the Weds. Tell your fiance to try to get receipts or canceled checks from what he has bought for them in the past and from here on out until time for court, he should keep all records of every penny he gives her. He needs to show that he has been an active father in the child's life and intends on continuing to take care of her. I think the judge will see that the mother is lazy too! Also, do not be worried about an outrageous amount just to pay back what the govt has given her. It is based on his income so that part does not matter. Also, if she gets support from the other two men by having to file, maybe your fiance' will not feel as pinned to supporting this lazy woman! Crazy how women just have kid after kid w/ whoever will be with them! Your fiance' is doing the right thing taking care of his child and if he plays his cards right and the mom does not, he may get full support of her. Good for you supporting him and being by his side. Congrats on your marriage in two weeks!
Consult and attorney. Usually a consultation is free, and you can find out his rights. I am a paralegal, but not it that area of law.
Maybe you can call the DHS office and without giving names or other identifiable advice, explain the situation (my fiance has 50/50 care of his child; when we have her, we pay the bills, and when the mom has her, she pays the bills) and just ask what you can expect to happen in the interview. What you hear can also help you prepare if the person says that you would need to have proof of your expenses -- if you know that beforehand, you can get your receipts from day-care or whatever and he can bring that with him when they go. It may be that they will want him to have a more formalized custody/support arrangement so it's not just his word, and it might be good to know that beforehand. They probably also take into account his income, as well. Probably, everything will work out just fine -- it's the fear of the unknown that is so bad. So, make the call, because knowing one way or the other will be preferable to the unknown.
Not knowing what legal agreements he has with the mother, You might want to contact a lawyer, you need professional legal advice. Do he and the mother have anykind of legal agreement in writing. He needs to show how much he spends and supports her. Make sure he takes every receipt and check he has ever spent on her with him to this appt. Get a lawyer.
We have this issue in my house. My husband and I have our stepdaughter 50% of the time. In their divorce it stated they would share custody and he would pay 50% of the state guidelines. He can discuss this with the case worker. When she has gone for reviews, the amount was raised due to his income change, but we still just pay 50%. She like your husband's ex, has several more children with several more men. Very frustrating, I KNOW!!
On the other side, I am also a caseworker for child support. I can tell you that if your husband her the child's mother come to an agreement, you can sign an agreed order. The office runs the guidelines but parents can do what they see fit if the circumstances deem necessary. Yes, if she is on state assistance, then child support needs to be established. The reason being, the state wants to try to get her off state assistance. Be in contact with the caseworker. If you are in KY, go to http://chfs.ky.gov/dis/cse.htm and look at the guidelines, you can figure how much she would receive. Let me know if you have any questions in particular!
C.
My son was just granted joint custody of his 1 yr old son. We found that most NC judges are now being more sensitive to father's who are seeking some custody for thier children. My son pays $300 month in child support which is also the amount of the mother's health insurance for the child. The courts also made it clear that the child support has no bearing on the custody or visitation rights.
Child support is based upon what he makes. The state does not care about anything but what he makes. They are allowed to take so much from his pay. As for the other two they may go after them to pay as well. My oldest is 24 and I am still collecting child support when ever my ex decides to pay. Good luck, the laws really suck, I wish more and more people would fight back to our goverment, they really do not know what their doing most of the time.
there is a worksheet on the state website that you can guesstimate how much it may be. they will take into consideration what the other fathers are doing. if your kids are also his children, the court will take into consideration that he has other parental responsibilities. IN ANY EVENT, HE DEFINITELY NEEDS TO GET A LAWYER!!! typically the system will side w/the mother & the burden is on the father to prove what he's been doing.
more than likely, the reality is that even if she's awarded an amount of support that breaks your budget, if the mother isn't willing to pay for the stuff that your fiance has been footing the bill for, you guys will end up paying for it anyways b/c the only one suffering would be the child. your fiance sounds like the type of man that would not let his children suffer due to the negligence of the mother.
it sucks but that's how the system is unfortunately. i have 2 step kids & my own daughter - bottom line is you do what you have to for the kids. if it doesn't turn out in your favor, you'll make it work.
they go by what he makes for example my em made anout 1000 a month and i only got 70 dollars of that.so dont sweat it
