25 answers

Anger Advice

Hi ladies!

My dear friend came to me yesterday very upset. She confided in me that she feels angry all the time and doesnt know how to be "normal" anymore. She says she is very sad a lot of the time and really doesnt know who to talk to about it. She says she feels particularly bad because she feels like she is taking out some of her anger in the form of yelling at her children. In particular her oldest who is 4. She says it usually starts out with a simple bad behavior or aggravation and by the third mishap or so she is yelling at him. She says she feels horrible, and that she doesnt want to yell at him, but she doesnt know how to stop once she gets mad. She doesnt get physical in anyway and she says she doesnt call him names or anything, but she says she feels like a monster when she is yelling. I had no good advice to give her really so I decided to ask you ladies for help. She doesnt want to go on any medication, but would be willing to change her diet or lifestyle if she new what would help! She also says she doesnt want to go to a doctor. Does anyone know anything she can do to calm herself, book recommendations anything. I dont want to tell her to "not sweat the small stuff", she is really upset and embarassed by her behavior and wants to change. She is a good friend I have known her for years and I want to help her be happy again.

3 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

It sounds like there is more than she is telling you. It may be that she has an underlying issue that is causing her a huge amount of stress in her life and she is not dealing with it well on her own. She has a more personal issue that she is not sharing that is causing her to take her frustration out in yelling. Stress takes a toll on you and especially if you have young children it doubles with out warning. She needs to work out her underlying issue and ask for help. Perhaps scheduled "mommy time" might help her to unwind a little too. She is taking the first step in asking you for help, so do what you can to help even if that is just listen when she needs to talk.
Good Luck

2 moms found this helpful

Meditation, Yoga, music/dancing,walking any kind of excersise helps me. Most of all I have to have my alone time.

2 moms found this helpful

Seriously, she NEEDS to talk to her doctor. If it's a big enough problem that she confided in you, then she needs to step out of denial and see her doc. It's really unfair of her to dump this on you with the caveat: no doc.
Hope she does! Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers

Seriously, she NEEDS to talk to her doctor. If it's a big enough problem that she confided in you, then she needs to step out of denial and see her doc. It's really unfair of her to dump this on you with the caveat: no doc.
Hope she does! Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

It sounds like there is more than she is telling you. It may be that she has an underlying issue that is causing her a huge amount of stress in her life and she is not dealing with it well on her own. She has a more personal issue that she is not sharing that is causing her to take her frustration out in yelling. Stress takes a toll on you and especially if you have young children it doubles with out warning. She needs to work out her underlying issue and ask for help. Perhaps scheduled "mommy time" might help her to unwind a little too. She is taking the first step in asking you for help, so do what you can to help even if that is just listen when she needs to talk.
Good Luck

2 moms found this helpful

Can anyone take the 4 year old for a couple days, Give mom and him a break?

2 moms found this helpful

First of all I'd tell her to not be embarassed!! Not sure how many kids she has and if she works or stays home, but I bet all of us moms can remember times where we were overwhelmed and stressed and may have taken it out on our families. She needs to sit and try to sort out what may be stressing her out. Does she get anytime out to herself or just with her husband? Is she overwhelmed by the kids and house and is she getting any help? There could be so many factors at play here and she needs to figure out what could be at the root of all of this, then try to work on it.
You can let her know that you are here for her and that she can talk to you when she needs to, AND that she's not alone. MANY MANY of us have been there. I've been going through this myself, and I am seeing my Dr. about it who is very supportive. She needs to realize that happy mom, means happy home. And she should never be embarassed to ask for help and to do what she needs to be healthy and happy. Best of luck to her!

2 moms found this helpful

Meditation, Yoga, music/dancing,walking any kind of excersise helps me. Most of all I have to have my alone time.

2 moms found this helpful

ok, it sounds like she wants a miracle. If she has an imbalance somewhere (chemically) she needs help to deal with that (meds). She needs to talk with someone.

Things to try in the mean time; Is daddy in the picture? She needs to find a hobby that is Mommy time every day to calm down. Drawing, Scrapbooking, writing, reading what ever.

If no daddy, she can ask friends for playdates to have 1 hour to herself to unwind. But if nap time, and 1 hour is not enough to loosen up a little, then there is more going on and she needs a DOCTOR.

If she feels bad for her behavior then she does not really believe it is bad if she is not willing to do anything to stop it.

we all get overwhelmed yes; however, we all can work thru it with time.

1 mom found this helpful

I had similar anger outbursts when my girls were small. I am now a grandmother and a therapist. The best thing I did was see a counselor to get to the source of the anger. I did have PMS and hormone treatment helped, but then the anger came anytime, not just premenstrually. In counseling I learned what was pushing the anger, both the overwhelm of my life at the time and the old negative self talk that I used on myself since childhood. I learned about the feelings of sadness, fear, and regret that were pushing the anger into action. Medication is not necessary. Having someone to talk to who can guide you back to your true self is life changing for you and your children. An old book by John Gray, "What You Feel You Can Heal," is simple and great for understanding our feelings. Feel free to congtact me if you want. ____@____.com

1 mom found this helpful

I can't imagine why she wouldn't want to see a doctor. It could be a hormonal issue. I know since I've gotten older, I get extremely moody and angry the week before my period. I'm completely not myself. If medication is the answer then why not? Talk to her about going to her doctor and being open to whatever will help.

1 mom found this helpful

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