Am I Justified in Flipping the Hell Out on Him?

I'd be pissed. Some posters are bashing you a little bit because they don 't think you had a good enough reason to ask him to come home early. I don't think it matters what you asked of him or why. You needed him to help & you don't ask very often & he wasn't there for you, one of the few times you needed him.

Sounds like you had a really bad day. Sorry about that. Hubbys can be clueless sometimes. It's a guy thing, I swear.

This seems like one of those cases where those of us outside aren't seeing any reason why you would flip out on your husband. I guess that is the beauty of not being emotionally invested in a story.

You chose to send her to school less than 24 hours after she had a fever, a fever that clearly was only reduced by the meds. Why, because you didn't want to take her with you to your son's school? So you infected her preschool but you are on him because he wanted to infect the drive through of Burger King?

I am going to leave it at that and hope when you are less worried about your daughter you read what you wrote and hopefully see your husband did nothing wrong, well at least he did nothing worthy of flipping the hell on him.

I'm not trying to be mean but personally, what you are describing is not an emergency. Over the years my husband has never had a job I would ever expect him to leave, or even leave early, just to take a sick kid to the doctor.

I've got a million stories where I had to figure it out on my own. It's life, it's hard sometimes. To me there is just no reason for two adults to be at the doctor for a 4 year old with strep throat.

Sorry, but I don't understand why he had to leave work just to accompany you to a doctor visit with your little girl. It seems you were fine taking her to her ped by yourself; what's the difference taking her to urgent care by yourself? As it was, all he did was sit in the waiting room. There was no need for him to come in; it would have just made the exam room terribly overcrowded.

Also, you could have done the drive-thru at Burger King; you didn't have to go in. I don't blame him; I wouldn't want a sandwich for dinner either.

I'm sorry, but I don't think you are justified.

I'm surprised daycare even let her come in today. They should have some sort of policy that a child has to be symptom free for 24 hrs WITHOUT any meds before retuning...anyways why are you making such a big deal Bout your husband being there? I have taken my kids to the drs plenty of times by myself. No biggie. Heck I drove myself to the hospital when I went into preterm labor with my son. I think your over reacting just a tad

I too don't understand why he has to come and help you. My husband works out of the state 5 days a week. One sick kid is nothing....try appendicitis on one kid...broken arm...stitches....with 4 kids. That's jut the big stuff. Never has he been here to help for that. Sorry....I'd be ecstatic if my husband helped as much as yours (and he does when home....it's just never when I need it).

I haven't read the other responses but I don't see why you are mad at him. I mean, how many people do you need sitting in the doctors office? I think you sound like maybe you are tired and worried about your baby but I think you also need to apologize to your husband. My husband would not leave work to take the kids to the doctor with me. I hope your daughter feels better soon and everyone gets some rest.

I think you both made mistakes. Since you had the day off your daughter should have been home with you. The commitments at your son's school while important are not essential. A sick child trumps volunteering at school. The lunchen at the daycare again nice to attend but not essential. Your child is sick, Tyneol only treats the SYMTOMS not the DISEASE. She did not get magically better overnight, but her symtoms disappeared because she had meds. A sick child trumps EVERYTHING else going on. When we become parents we have to sometimes forgo social activities to care for our children. To me that is the promise you made when you decided to have this child.
Your husband should have taken your son home, you each had a car there. On the way home he could have picked up dinner or ordered something to be delivered. Pizza, Chinese ect could have been ready and waiting when you got home. He also could have spent the time straightening up. You are going to be busy with a sick child most of the weekend and there is always lots to do when you have a job and kids.

I think it would benefit both of you to read "The 5 Love Languages". I don't think you are nurturing each other or your marriage.

Annoyed yes but not furious. Men at my work don't leave to help their wives take a child to the dr... Your son is 6 so. He isnt that hard. I could definitely see if he was 2 but I've taken my kids to urgent care at those ages without even thinking of asking my husband. Of course, he'd say no too so I don't bother. Not to say it's ok... It's just fairly typical here. You did have the day off from work... Im sure that's part of his thinking. As for BK, I'd have been dying to get home too but a guy would think it's only 5 min, what's the big deal. So frustrated I can see. Livid Im not sure seems justified. He was at work. You had the day off. That seems to be a big difference IMO.

I have learned that my husband does not get subtle.

If I want or need him to do something I have to just say it plain and straight out.

I.would say "I need you to get off of work, go and pick up our son, because I am going to urgent care and do not know how long it will take."

Or I want you to go to urgent care with son once you pick him up. .

The dinner thing, i would have said, ok we will eat sandwich stuff, you and son go to Burger king.. or go through the drive thru if that is what you want.
I will meet you at home with daughter, she is not feeling well.

I know it is frustrating, because you and I see what needs to be done. We do not need a leash and a road map to see the problem and how to solve it.. But that is not how my husband is and sounds like your husband also suffers from this clueless. It does not make them bad fathers or bad people or dumb.. it is just that they are not wired the way we are.

Hang in there. I have been there for over 30 years.. It does NOT get better, instead I have learned to just be very clear, honest and blunt with him.. It is working very well.

I'm with Cheryl B. I am also confused as to why you wanted him to go to urgent care with you, nor do I understand why you wouldn't have done drive-thru.

You have gotten great answers and good advice, I'm with you %100 and I'm actually surprised at all the negative answers about you asking for help.
There seems to be a lot of high and mighty super moms out there who never need help and can take care of 4 sick kids and have dinner ready by 7 without batting an eye, kudos to them but some of us mere mortals need help from, and we expect help when we ask the kid's FATHER. He should have get his butt out there and help you, sorry but taking care of the sick kids is both parent's responsibility not just the mom.

I haven't read but maybe 1 or 2 answers, but honestly both of you are being ridiculous. I understand that you wanted help with your son, but it wasn't necessary. I have spent many days/nights sitting in a waiting room with up to 5 of my kids at a time. Yeah, it sucks but it is manageable.

You could have also waited an extra hour or so before you took her in. In the grand scheme of things one hour wouldn't have been a big deal, for that matter neither would two hours.

So he wanted BK. I am assuming you had two different cars, so he could have taken your son to get the prescriptions and went to eat at Burger King while you took your daughter home and got her settled.

As for work, just cause other people were there doesn't mean he can leave. My husband can not leave his job, only one time did I ever ask and that was when a tree fell on our house in the middle of a storm...but guess what? He had to go back. It happens.

Honestly it sounds like you were just stressed to the max and decided to nit pick everything that you felt he wasn't doing. Sorry that it was such a rough day, but this was an argument that could have been avoided.

Consider yourself lucky that he can ever get off from work. Mine can't. EVER. Oh wait, once when I did have four sick and puking kids (ages 4months to 7 years) he came home at 11pm instead of 1am.

Maybe I've just been doing this longer than you, but there are times when you have to cancel volunteer stuff to deal with your sick kids, and I agree that you never should have sent her to daycare/preschool unless she had been fever-free for 24 hours.

That said, for him to ask you what was for dinner was clueless on his part, but not malicious. He should have offered to make dinner, so I'll give you that one. It sounds like you were both out of sorts and need a bit of a break from the grind. Time for a date night.

I'm confused, I'm wondering why you didn't just ask him to pick up your son from daycare/school after he got off work and stop to pick up some takeout on the way home so you could take your daughter to the doctor and not need to worry or think about dinner.
I have NO idea why your husband and son needed to come sit and wait in urgent care for an hour when they could have been picking up dinner and getting home while you took care of your daughter, making things easier for ALL of you. Unless you only have one car, then of course that makes sense.
Though I'm not sure why he couldn't take your son to the bathroom, do you think that was some kind of passive aggressive move against you on his part? That sounds pretty immature so I hope that's NOT the case :(
Pour yourself a glass of wine, run a nice hot bubble bath and close the door. Let hubby take over for the remainder of the evening. You'll feel better in the morning I am sure!

I'm assuming your son is at daycare too?
I'd have just had hubby pick up the son, let those two grab something to eat, and take my daughter myself to urgent care & to get the prescriptions filled....

Sorry, I think your anger about his inability to leave work early today is out of line. You've assumed that he could have left work, despite him having told you that it was not possible. I HATE when my daughter gets strep...it always starts with puking and then the fever and always at night or weekend where we always end up at urgent care. I just don't see where it was essential for your husband to leave work for it, though. You could have either waited two more hours or could have taken your son back with you. Convenient? Perhaps not. Still, it seems over-the-top to expect your husband to leave work immediately for what was essentially a doctor visit. And, yes, there are times when it really isn't possible to leave work at the drop of a hat without having to get someone else to drop what they're doing to come cover for you.

Yes, he wasn't all that logical about Burger King, although going through drive-thru would've been a few minutes.

To me, it's ridiculous that both of you are pouting over having a sick child.

Seriousely cannot believe people have the nerve to be so rude. Honestly I do not know who has joined this site. But it is suppose to be a support. Not to be judgmental. I have come to the conclusion their are some very unhappy rude women on here that like to try and make people feel bad. You had an extremely stressful day. You work too. Why should he just get a free pass. I would be the same way. Except my husband would have gotten a damn screaming at. Maybe take a hot bath. Have a glass of wine. Good news is the antibiotics work fast so hopefully your little one is feeling better soon. If I was you I would take some time for yourself this weekend get a manicure and leave hubby with the kids. And for all you rude rude women get a hobby and stay off a support group. Key word support. Didn't your mothers teach you if you do not have anything nice to say do not say anything. Good luck and take care.

i think both of you made mistakes. it happens. hopefully next time he can be a bit more understanding/helpful/patient, and you will find it easier to be patient too. i would definitely be mad. but i'd also be pretty mad at myself for sending her to daycare, since the rule of thumb is 24 hours fever free before returning, to guard against just this kind of situation. if you had gone ahead and planned for her to be out of school, then the running around crazy last minute stuff would have been avoided, saving you all some stress... so i would probably be pretty touchy too. i'm really sorry you had such a crappy time - hope she feels better!

***
pretty sure the "nasty" remark was not directed at me, but i did change my stance a bit after your swh. it really sounds like your marriage needs work. he is resistant and unhelpful and irritable, you are nagging and critical and disrespectful. i do stand by what i said - you both made mistakes. but it really sounds now like you have both been making these mistakes for a LONG time. i suggest counselling. this goes way deeper than this one instance. if something is broken, fix it. don't come here in a tissy wanting us to back you up for biting his head off. that's not right, either.

Doesn't your daycare have a sick policy. My kid's school says they must be fever free for 24 hours. By sending her back to school too soon you exposed everyone at the daycare. Fevers frequently are absent during the day then spike again at night. That is why they have 24 hour policies.

Hope you both feel better!

No, I'm with you on this one. If you thought your daughter was seriously ill I can see why you would want him there. It's called support. Besides you have another child, and I can see wanting to split the duty.

I can also see where you would just want to get home. Your kid is sick and even a few minutes through a drive thru can seem like a long time when you are worried.

I think you are more frustrated than really angry. I honestly don't blame you.

I don't want you to take offense I just want you to understand that many of us have been in this situation. I never called my husband home from work to help me with the kids, EVER. You shouldn't do that, honestly.
This is definitely one of those things that makes a husband proud of his wife, when he knows you can handle these types of situations it gives him pride and makes him feel that his children are quite secure with their brilliant and "able to handle anything" mommy----- and makes him proud he married you and picked you to be the mother of his kids.

I, too, do not see why you're so upset. Surely this is not the first time that your husband has not come thru for you as you've wanted him to. I was a single parent and deal with my grandchildren, when ill, as a single grandmother so that my daughter doesn't have to come home from work when one is sick. I took two children to the doctor when they were the age of your children. With the right attitude it really is no big deal.

I suggest that the reason you're having so much difficulty is that you're insisting that your husband think and act in the same way that you think and act. You will not be so upset if you're able to accept that he is this way and not expect him to do what you want him to do.

You may be able to get him to change the way he acts if you talk with him about what you need at a time when you don't need anything. Work with him to come to a compromise ahead of time.

Find a way to go more with the flow. Be realistic in your expectations. You are mostly harming yourself by insisting that your husband be and do something that he isn't and hasn't agreed with ahead of time.

I am shocked at people's reactions on here. If the uterus were in him you'd have said "He makes half of what she makes. He has a ton of sick days personal days. He should have dealt with all of this while she pursued a career."

What people are missing here, is that this anger isnt about this one incident. You are upset that you are working full time, SUPPORTING your family (not making a little extra money to buy a few more things) AND you are taking care of the house, the errands, etc AND you are raising two children, arranging for childcare, healthcare, volunteering in their schools etc. Meanwhile your husband works and ......?
Forget about this one day, this one very stressful incident. You need to expect more of him on a regular basis so you will not be harboring anger! Wait til you are both very calm to discuss changes. Start with showing him some articles about how the more involved fathers are, the better the kids are socially, emotionally and academically. Make this about a better life for your kids.
Talk calmly about giving up your job to care for the children and be available when they are sick and help them with the homework which will be coming in future years. Let him be the one to point out you wont be able to make it on just his salary. Avoid saying "DUH!" when he figures this out. Ask what he thinks would be a compromise instead of you quitting and listen, really listen to his answers and be willing to compromise your self!
Then start making plans to change things. My husband had flexible hours so I told him he was in charge of well visits to Dr. and since he was taking him he it made sense for him to schedule them as well. Then Make him do it. Your husband should be doing 50% of the grocery shopping, he will do it badly the first 25 times, hoping you'll give up!
NEVER jump in and rescue him once he's in charge of something. NEVER criticize over something done differently then you would do it. It is your job to HELP him bond more with his kids, and help him feel needed around the house. You cant do that if you criticize him, you have to put him in charge of things and thank him for doing them, in his own way.
You need to concentrate on your career sadly many marriages end in divorce and you will need to be secure in your job. You need to expect more of him for his own good and for the sake of his children. He needs to feel important to his family and appreciated when he does things for his family.

ok shes throwing up yes not fun but managable to take her and your son to urgent care by yourself. hes at work and you were not. i only asked my husband to come with me 3 times when i took my daughter to urgent care- 1 we thought she broke her ankle. 2- was having severe stomach pain, 3- shallow breathing in the middle of the night. and only the last time was he called from work.
i think you are blowing it out of proportion. him being there (to what entertain your son) wouldnt have made it any easier on your daughter. just take a breather and clear your head.
Also reading jessicawessica's answer i dont find it mean. i would have told him that you were going to take dd home but hes and ds could go to bk and eat and to please fill both prescriptions. it sounds like you feel guilty that you missed that she was actually sick.

I understand where you are coming from, and I honestly dont understand why people are being negative towards you. You sound stressed, and frustrated and rightly so. He is your husband and the father of your children. You shouldn't have to practically beg him to come and help out and do his part. I am sure that there is something that he could have done to be there to help sooner, but it sounds like he just didnt want to. Your daughter was sick, and that is a stressful thing in itself, but to have it be strep and contagious is just another added thing to it. He shouldn't have to be told to come and help out. I'd be pretty upset too, especially if this happens a lot.

He could have easily gotten your son, and filled the prescriptions without being told and then I dont know, taken some of the stress load off of you. If he wanted drive thru for dinner than he should have gone and gotten it while taking care of the prescriptions. And maybe this is just me, but asking if both prescriptions are needed is a little lame, of course they are needed! The doctor wouldnt have given them to you if they werent thought to be. But thats just my opinion.

He should have thought about what he could do to be helpful instead of dragging his feet. You said so yourself that your daughter doesn't get sick often, so it all shouldnt have been a problem for him to leave work a bit early, take care of your son, and figured out something for dinner.

Doesn't seem like asking to much to me. Its not like its even a regular basis.Just doesn't seem fair..

I hope that your daughter gets to feeling better soon, and that you all stay healthy too.

Time for you to treat yourself to a drink!

mommy, you have no reason to flip out on him.
you exposed your son to whatever had entered urgent care, and your husband was useless there because what was he supposed to do?
my suggestion would have been he stay home with your son..
ps go to bathroom at urgent care is again not recommended. so had he been home he wouldn't have had to.

To answer your question: Yes, they really ARE that freaking clueless. Sorry. I guess that's why WE have the babies.

:(

wow, i am guessing you are having a really rough day, or there are other problems in your marriage, or you've just been fortunate enough to lead a charmed life without any bumps in the road... a 4yo with a middle of the road fever and vomiting is hardly an emergency. and to add to your "but it had been 18 hours since her last dose of tylenol" - so, let's do the math there, if tylenol lasts for 6 hours, she had only been "fever free" w/out the aid of meds for 12 hours when you took her to daycare. people like you make me SOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAD - if people would follow the "fever/illness rules", it would stop so much spreading of illness. yes, my kids have missed birthday parties, school, etc. b/c i have more respect for others than to expose their kids(some of whom may have fragile immune systems) to my kids illnesses out of convenience to me - that's just rude and "clueless".

as for your husband, you guys need to sit down and talk about this kind of stuff and come to some type of agreement. personally, i don't see why you needed help to take two kids to the doctor, but that's just me. if you did need help, urgent care is usually open late, and you've already put her illness off well over 24 hours, why not wait another hour or two til he's off work? looking at it from HIS side, he's probably thinking "you went here and there and everywhere doing xyz during the morning hours when you COULD have taken her to the pedi at that time while our son was at daycare, yet you now want me to wreak havoc on MY workday for something that's NOT an emergency?"... i get that you thought she was better, etc., but that's probably HIS view on things... he could have been a little more empathetic once he arrived on the scene, but i'm guessing at that point you were the martyr and copping a serious attitude with him, probably not very endearing - he was at WORK, it's not like he was at a strip club, or that your child was deathly ill, that would have been a VERY different situation. if he really is a jerk, then you picked a bad one, get into some counseling and try to work it out, but based on just this day and the couple of prior examples, he sounds like a typical man(not always clued in) with a good work ethic - he could be FAR worse.

I didn't work outside of the home when I had children but I took all of them when I went anywhere and they sat nicely and waited. I wouldn't have asked my husband to take off work to go to urgent care because I had another child with me. I don't see that your husband is a problem here. Maybe he could have taken your son to the bathroom but did your son ask him to take him or tell him he needed to go? I wouldn't think this is anything to be that upset about.

Oh boy your post rings a bell with me.

It sounds like you are needing him to clue in that you needed some extra support. As someone whose child had strep throat 5-6 times in one year, I completely "get" how hard that can be and how miserable your child must have been. My son used to throw up too, and he often would not have the raw sore throat until it got very, very bad. I sat in the ER one Christmas Eve with him, and stayed up watching him all night for fear that he would slip away from me. So I "get" what you're saying.

Unfortunately your husband sounds VERY literal. You probably need to spell out exactly what you want, and when, and hold him to account for when he does not meet the reasonable "standard of care" when it comes to children (i.e., asking your son if he needs the bathroom). If he can't meet those responsibilities I'd tell him that I'm quitting my job, or cutting way back, so that I can focus on our children. In other words I'd make my point very clear.

I would make sure we are communicating effectively with one another. If not, I'd get some counseling. If he's being passive-aggressive, or you're being unrealistic - then that can be addressed in counseling too.

Good luck.

Hand the kiddos off to him and go pout in a hot bubble bath with a glass of wine :)

Oh I feel your pain here. I have had days like this when my husband acts like its first day on earth. I have been really ill at times and he does not even bother to ASK if I am ok.
I think men (some men) like yours and mine need to be tought to care for sick children and wives. I know we think they should just know what to do or they are being dumbasses on purpose. And I think sometimes they just do not want to deal with sickeness because thier mother always did it all. So we need to teach them...lol
I would have been upset like you...way to much going on for one person to handle.
I hope your daught is feeling better becasue you know your son is next. Good luck!

I'm just wondering why he didn't meet you at the Urgent care, drive himself and your son home, picking up dinner for everyone (buying a can of soup or something for your daughter). Him and your son sitting there for an hour seems like a waste of time. I mean, he didn't really need to be there, did he? My husband has never gone to the doctor with me nor my son. The only reason I see for your husband needing to be there is to pick your son up so that you can concentrate on the one sick kiddo.

Yes if it were me, I'd be pissed. MORE pissed because I have PMS right now and every little tiny thing is getting on my nerves. Sure you're justified to be pissed (the texting, the prescriptions, the potty, the dinner), yes, but remember that we all have bad days. Sounds like your bad day and his bad day collided. And he really didn't have a need to leave work early to just sit there. He should've been used in a more useful way (ie, come home to care for our son, pick up dinner ....)

yes I'd be livid.
not to sound mean but he sounds like a self centered jacka$$.

You stressed over this situation. We've all been there. And you took out that frustration on your husband. We've all been there, too.

Next time just tackle the day. It's all in a day's work for a parent, especially a mom.

Honestly, it doesn't sound like he did anything wrong. So just forgive and forget and move on.

I agree with some others.... annoyed, but not furious and flipping out. However, the strength of your reaction probably has more to do with other things going on than this situation.
Sounds like you two need better communication.

Men don't get it... sorry for any male readers. For the most part, they just don't think of things the way we do, they don't plan and unless you are very clear he won't read your mind about how urgent it is for him to get home. He isn't thinking about her being contagious; he's thinking we've been sitting in urgent care for however long, I'm starving it's late, lets have fast food tonight.

I would not have taken her to daycare today, and as a provider, I wouldn't have let her come back if it hadn't been 24 hours from the onset of her fever.

It's Friday, maybe a long week and everyone is probably still off schedule with daylight savings time. Take a breath, and talk to him when you're not so pissed.

Others are posting that they don't see why you wanted his help, but wasn't it because you also had your son with you and wanted dad to deal with son so you could focus on daughter?.....

When you have calmed down (and yeah, I'd be furious right now too), and a day or so has passed, you and he need to talk without the kids around or demanding your attention.

"We need to talk now, when the kids are not sick and it's not a sudden emergency. Now--not when a kid is sick or one of us is sick and we're rushing around--now is the time to come up with our rules about how we're both going to operate the next time this happens. Because, husband, it IS going to happen again; kids will get sick again at inconvenient times for you AND for me. Or a kid will get hurt at school and need to go to the doctor or even the hospital. Or for other reasons, we'll need to act like a team, all on the same page and the same side, which you and I did not do at all the other day."

Then you and he need to agree on what the procedure will be. He needs to understand: You have TWO children, so if an emergency doctor visit is needed for one of them, you really do not want to have both of them there; it is distracting to the parent trying to hear a doctor's instructions and exposes the well child to germs, etc. If you need to get daughter to a doctor, husband leaves work and gets son and takes him home -- as someone else posted, there was absolutely no reason for your husband and son to sit in the waiting room today! And husband will be responsible for food,period. If YOU are the one picking up the well child, while he goes to the doctor, YOU will be responsible for food. And so on.

Tell him how you feel but don't be accusatory: Try "I feel" statements: "When I call you at work and tell you our child is vomiting and I need help, I feel devalued when I'm told that you cannot come." "When we have been struggling just to get a vomiting child to stop vomiting and to see the doctor, I feel angry and upset when I hear that I am also expected to have dinner plans for us." And so on.

If this is a pattern with him, and he is generally unhelpful with the kids and does not understand obvious things like "we don't take a vomiting, feverish child out to eat," he and you really do need to talk more and he needs to see the reality of things. HE should spend a day with the vomiting child next time and should be responsible for all cleaning up, disinfecting (he clearly worries about contagion so he should learn what an antibacterial wipe is and where to use it around the house) and so on.

Oh, and I agree with the person posting that you should not have sent your child to day care or anywhere else the day after the first fever showed. I figure that since she has very seldom been ill, you probably did not even realize the 24-hour rule: No school, preschool or day care wants a child back unti the child has been fever-free for at least 24 hours. You can see the reason why in your own experience -- the fever going down due to medications, and the child seeming fine, does not mean the illness is anywhere near over.

#1 - If I call you and tell you your child is ill and we need you...your darn right he needs to high tail it home without questions. I would be livid that he didn't come after the first call/text. I understand that there was no one else in the office but I'm sure they have a backup plan for emergency situations.

#2- There is no excuse for making your child hold it when you are sitting on your bum doing absolutely nothing. He absolutely should have taken your son to the bathroom. Again, I would be livid.

#3 - I could see him asking if he should fill both since one was an "if you need it" kind of prescription and well, frankly your husband sounds clueless so I guess he thought best to ask.

#4 - Your child is vomiting and has a contagious illness and yet he wants to go to B.K. Yeah, refer to #3 - he's clueless or perhaps just selfish but clearly he is not putting the needs of his children before his own.

I'm with you all the way on this one. If my husband acted that way he would get the butt chewing of a lifetime out of me and I guarantee he'd never act that way again. Hells bells, it sounds as if you're a single mom doing all the work already.

Peace and Blessings and I hope your little one feels better soon.
T. B

I can see why u are irritated but this reaction must be abt other issues too to be this mad.

Is he the birth father or a step-dad? He seems disconnected from reality? Or is it you? My husband has a trucking company so he is hardly ever home he is Working to make Money to pay our bills.. I do not work so I have to do it all most days No matter what it is.. But when he is home is most helpful. I hope you and your Husband D.H. will start work together.... You should be mad. . he is probably mad as well .."why" the world will never know ... .. But Kids are hard and as long as you love each other it will all work its self out in time.. "He is just a man"... . .. . :)

Sounds to me like you had a right to be upset... I would be, that's for sure...
Sorry, but based on what you are posting, he sounds like a jerk.... I even find myself annoyed with him........

Well, I hope your daughter gets better soon. Once things settle down, maybe it might be worth it to have a sit down talk with your husband, I mean if something totally mega happens, will he help then? has he always been like this? I hear feel your pain. when it comes to our kids, we all want the best and would like a little help too..

Good luck and get well soon to your daughter..

Hmm...I am of two thoughts (or more) on this post.
One, my husband NEVER comes home to take the kids to the doctor, urgent care, dentist. Anything. Unless we are in the ER with a broken bone, I am on my own with the 3 kids (one of them being 22 months). If he is already home then he will take care of the kids while I take the injured/sick kid to the doctor. I wouldn't even call my husband at work because I know he wouldn't be able to come home.
I would be PISSED if the husband wanted to stop somewhere to eat while my kid is in the back of the car with strep. Poor kid. She couldn't even eat I bet since her throat was hurting. We would have gone home and my husband can pout and grump all he wants.
I find that my husband is often clueless in the care of the kids. Sometimes I feel like I can't die or else my kids will suffer!!
Being shaking mad isn't going to help anything though. You probably should wait until tomorrow, or the next day, when you are not so mad at him and sit down and talk with him about your expectations. He may want to talk with you about HIS expectations as well.
L.

I would be mad too. It sounds like you are frustrated with him because he turned out to be so helpless and useless to you and the kids. My husband is a very capable man, and it drives me nuts when he reverts to acting like a helpless child when I am treading water taking care of our kids. (This doesn't happen very often, but it does happen.)

Treat yourself to something nice after your daughter gets better. So sorry you've had a bad day!

I just read your post so I'm late to the party. If I called my husband and asked him to leave work everytime our kids were ill, he would have been fired. I only called when they were in the ER or being admitted into the hospital. My son had surgery when hubby was out of town.

My husband traveled all the time. I can't tell you what all I have had to do with two kids and no family nearby! OB visits, yeah that was pleasant.

I think calling your husband at work telling him he needed to leave and come to urgent care was a little over the top. Sorry but I really think so. You child wasn't dying, wasn't being admitted into the hospital. She has strep throat. She needed to see the doctor. There really was no reason for all the drama you created. There is more going on then just this. You and your husband need to sit down for a long discussion.

Yes, those things would annoy me too if my husband did them. But you are awfully angry about it. Maybe there are more reasons for your anger than this? I have had one kid come down with strep and I had to run him to the doctor dragging the other kid along. Also, I have had one kid break an arm and had to take them both to the ER and then wait a long time and go get xrays and then back to the doctor. It was not that hard to have both kids with me...I didn't feel like I needed help. Next time maybe bring some books, coloring stuff, maze book or search and find book for your other kid to look at while they wait. As for you being puking sick that one time, it would have been nice if your husband could have come home then. I've been there too...it really sucks. I don't think you are asking too much of your husband if this is just 2ce a year thing. Maybe he is not taking enough child responsibility in the family? My husband gained great "child care" confidence by me leaving for 2 days every now and then for different reasons and he has to take care of the kids for the weekend. Anyway, take a deep breath and remember all the things that you love about your husband. We all get on each others nerves now and then in life. Try not to get so stressed...life is short!