Almost One and Still Wakes up 3-6 Times a Night HELP!

I have no suggestions but to make you feel better my son is 22 months and still wakes up 3-4 times a night. His brother is now 4 and did not sleep through the nite till he was 2. And you know when the kids don't sleep through the night either does mom.. hang in there.

Get the book "No Cry Sleep Solution" Worked wonders for me, and everyone that I recommend the book to. I even reference it sometimes for my 4-yr old!

A.- I bet you are tired! I can say I was pretty much in your shoes too until about a month ago! I was exhausted! It sounds like your little man only is able to soothe himself to sleep while nursing. At 11 months, he is not hungry. He needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own. He is waking up evey 2-3 hours because he knows you will come in & put him to your breast each time & he'll be able to fall back asleep while nursing & next to a nice warm body. I really liked Healthy Sleep Habits. I think the MD who wrote this book is right on target. He actually is a practicing MD in Chicago too. You can book an appt. with him too for a sleep consult if needed. My boys loved nursing & falling asleep on my breast. I loved watching their cute little faces as they nursed & they drifted off into a deep sleep. Who wouldn't? I have twin boys & I fell trap to the automated swings too. What I did for a peace & quiet & to sleep for at least an hour here & there. I thought these swings were the greatest inventions, well, until they outgrew them & couldn't fit in them anymore. I knew things had to change. For my sanity of getting at least more than an hour of sleep here & there, & for my baby to get a good nights sleep & naps during the day. I've heard so much advice on what to do & believe everyone loves to dish it out & tell you what works & what doesn't. What it sounds like to me though, is that your son doesn't know how to fall asleep on his own because he is comforted by nursing. I threw this question out here @ Mamasource when I was desperate & wow, some people privately emailed me who believed in the cry it out & it was great to know I was not alone. I'm not saying to leave him by himself & let him cry for hours on end, but I this is what worked for me. I combined some methods/books together & you will want to do what works for you the best too. My boys wake between 7-8 am. I open their curtains, roll up their shade (which is room darkening in their nursery), let as much fresh sunshine into the house that I can, I nurse them, & then I change their diapers, fed them, play a little & have them down for their next nap within a 2 hour time span. Sometimes it is an hour & a half, depends on their sleepy cues (yawning is an early sign, rubbing their eyes is a late sign of being tired-you want to avoid the overtired state-which is summed up in this book the signs to look for). I bring them to up to their nursery, put them on the boppy, nurse them, but I DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO FALL ASLEEP WHILE NURSING! You know by now, when he stops nursing, listen to him, hear the suckling, feel & hear him. Put him in the crib, either drowsy, or even wide awake. I have small stuffed animals that fit right in the palm of my hand that I have in their cribs & crib soothers (which allows them to play if they want to, on their own). I gently tell them, it's naptime love, time to go to sleep & leave the room. They'll cry for about 5 minutes now when I put them down, but they are out like lights for the next 2 hours. Sometimes one will wake up about 15 min. b4 the other, because all kids are different of course. Then I nurse them when they wake, same cycle, change diaper if needed, lunchtime, play & again, within a 2 hour time span, the same routine. This nap is usually a little longer than the early morning nap, about 2 1/2 hrs- sometimes 3. Then same routine again (you'll find, babies love routines too), this time daddy is home for dinnertime, I entertain them in their highchairs in the kitchen while preparing dinner & they love watching me open cabinents & the clang of pots/pans, unloading of the dishwasher (anything that makes noise), we all eat together as a family, my husband feds one baby & I fed the other. Then we play with the babies for a while, & then it's bedtime! The bedtime routine we established is, I first nurse both boys, then bathe the babies, my husband gives them their massages & combs their adorable hair & puts on their diapes & pj's. He cuddles them, we read the same exact story every night, I bring them up to the nursery, nurse them on the boppy & same routine again, put them to bed but do not allow them to fall asleep on the boppy. If you find he is falling asleep still or missing the cues, nurse him in a different room or just nurse him prior to the bath. I nurse prior to the bath, but I do nurse prior to putting them in the bed, I'm sure there's not a whole lot of milk left by this point, but the boys love to suckle, hold hands, touch faces before I put them down. I had to separate them at 6 mnts in their own cribs because they were rolling on top of each other. This is what worked for me. I did add in an air purifier in their room (which they love the white noise, I found they slept better with this on), & I make sure that they during the day they nurse at least every 3 hours. At nighttime, they wake around midnight & between 4-4:30 & I nurse them 2x a night (I think the book states @ 9 months, babies shouldn't need a nighttime feeding- of course check with your ped) My ped said that at even 7 months they should be able to last a good solid 10 hours (granted no dirty diaper- meaning #2). I was tired of hearing criticism in the beginning that the boys weren't sleeping because they weren't eating enough- but they certainly were- they are 17 lb boys. Everyone is going to dish out their advice to you. My mother in law of course was the best criticizer out there, aren't they all suppose to be like that. She bottle fed her boys, was adding cereal to their bottles from the start & feeding them solids at 3 weeks too. Well- needless to say, times change & if that's what worked for her, then that's great. My mom nursed all 3 of us & when we would make a peep, she'd run in the nursery, & bring us back to bed with her & we'd co-sleep, (I slept with mom in bed until I was 7 too!) So, I do what works for me. I want the boys to sleep in their cribs & not with us. They slept with us in the beginning & that's what worked at the time for us. Now, I want them in their cribs & to learn to fall asleep on their own & I now can say this is going great. At 11 months, I think your son has learned to fall asleep at your breast but you can change this. Realize, it's not too late, It's going to take time, probably some tears & he'll pull at your heartstrings. He's going to cry & probably a lot. Don't give up though, stick with your plan. I gave in many times, only making it harder for my boys. He'll learn how to sleep longer than 2-3 hours at night & naptime will improve a lot. Don't go to him, let him fall asleep on his own at nightime. Crying is a method of soothing himself to soothe. Invest in a monitor that has a cammera that you can see him from outside the nursery, so that you don't have to open the door & disturb him. You have to work on one thing at a time, don't do naps/nightwakings at the same time. My ped. recommended this & her baby has been sleeping for 10 hours at night since she was 3 months old. She knew @ their 6 month appt, how drained I was. Yes, motherhood is draining, but especially at 11 months, he does not need to eat. He is looking for the comfort of mom. Maybe your husband can go in when he wakes up every 2-3 hours & tell him the same phrase. Watch the supernanny clip on Youtube, she also has a website with the information from sleep experts on what to do with children who wake during the night this often. The most important thing is don't pick him up out of the crib. This gives him false reassurance that you will do this everytime & they do learn to expect this. There are going to be harder lessons in life that you will have to teach him, you will get through this. There are so many methods & this is one of the toughest issues many parents face, but stick with your plan & do what works for your family. Change is good & I think you need to do something @ 11 months for you & your son. Good luck!

I agree with many of the moms that have said you need to stop nursing him at night - if you want him to stop waking. He is now old enough to sleep through the night. Hunger is not the issue, the comfort of his mama in the middle of the night is... I can speak from experience. It may be hard for a few nights, but if you can do some sort of crying out regiment. The graduated approach, letting cry for 10 minutes, then 15... I thought my daughter would never sleep through the night and never nap without nursing to sleep. We've done this approach to sleep training several times now (after sickness and travel) and it only takes 2 - 3 nights to get them back on track. Although it may be miserable to hear the cries, your child will wake up well rested and loving you!

You are going to have to stop nursing him at night when he wakes up. I know it's hard, I've been there done that. I know it seems easier to just get him to go back to sleep, but that is the whole reason why he keeps waking up so often. At 11 months your son is old enough to sleep 10-12 straight hours. I did the same thing with my second child. Everytime she woke up I would nurse her just so she would go back to sleep otherwise it seemed she would just cry forever, she has always been stubborn. I used the pick-up/put-down method from the Baby Whisperer book, I think Tracy Hogg is the author. I did this at nap time once, my daughter also wouldn't sleep longer than twenty minutes during the day, when she was just 12 months and that is all it took. Sure I was in there with her for 40 minutes, but it worked and she has slept through the night ever since and takes good naps. You just need to teach her how to self soothe. Right now she is using you to soothe her, but she is old enough now and you certainly deserve a good nights sleep. Good luck!

I've been there! My 17 month old just slept through the night for the first time last night! Ok, so I had started a longer note and then I hit something and it all disappeared. So, I'm going to try to make it short. It sounds like our sons have some common traits because until 14 months my son woke up every 2 hours to nurse. I tried the No Cry Sleep Solution and that didn't work for us. So, I went back to the book we used for my daughter, although things were a bit different for her, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It was so hard to let him cry! But we did it. We did modify it a bit for his sake and mine. Instead of making him so all night, we made him go 4 hours (when he was 14 months). It was an improvement on the 2, so we were happy. Sometimes he was up right at 4 hours, but other times he would start to sleep longer stretches. The trick was trying to work my sleep schedule around it so I actually got more sleep. When he is teething it is hard for him, but when that passes he'd go back to sleeping better. Recently we weaned him from his going to bed nurse time and my husband puts him to bed. And that has produced longer sleep sessions at night. So, read the Healthy Sleep book, it is good and full of research, but you might need to adjust it a bit, such as making him go a certain length of time instead of all night. But don't go in the room unless you pick him up and comfort/feed him. This is my opinion, but going in and not picking up my kids just made them even more angry and cry harder. And you have to stick to it. It will not work in one or two nights. Try at least 2 weeks of letting him cry if that is the method you chose. If you use another method you're going to have to wait at least a month. I wish you much luck and I hope you don't have to wait another 8 months to get a good night's rest!

1st please know that your not alone. My son is 11 months old also. My son does almost the exact same thing. It's so bad at times that my husband and I now call it...Napping cause you only get to sleep for a hour or two and then your back up.My son doesn't nap well either and right now I'm lucky to get him to take one nap. He used to take two.

I don't have any advise just yet, cause my son is doing the same thing. I hope someone here will have a answer.

I had the same prob w/ my son who's now 3. I nursed too. He's too young yet to cry it out. It's not about hunger. He's waking and the habit is to be comforted. I now have a daughter almost 11 mos and She is only waking once a night now. This is better from before where she ususally was up 2-3x/night. We see a homeopathic Dr. for our chronic issues and I brought up how she wakes in the night. She will go right back to sleep after nursing too. So the Dr. took that into acct when figuring out what remedy to give her. DD only wakes once a night now, most of the time, during a 12 hour sleep. We see Dr. Josephine Polich (www.dupagehomeopathic.com) in Naperville. If that's too far, I know of other homeopathic Dr.s in the area and can send you a link. My son sees her for eczema and food allergies and Reactive Airway Disease, so we see her for all our ailments (basically our primary care Dr. for problems, in addition to seeing a pediatrician).

try and give him less time on his naps

The one resource that I have used over and over again is the "No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways To Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night" when facing sleep problems with my daughter (18 months old next week). The author is Elizabeth Pantley. I used the gentle Pantley method of getting my daughter to sleep through the night of plucking the nipple out of her mouth just as she was falling asleep. It took a couple of attempts before she stopped whimpering and waking up, but after only one night of doing this, my daughter started sleeping through the night (15 months of no sleep prior to this!). It's such a hard habit to break for babies: associating nursing with sleeping; my daughter didn't know any other way to fall asleep. And since I was the one that encouraged the behavior in the first place while she was a wee little one, I wanted the breaking of the habit to be as stress-free for her as possible...hence the book.

I also know that there is a toddler version of this book, though I have not yet taken a moment to review it.

Good luck and feel free to contact me if you have any questions.

I totally feel your pain! My youngest is 9 months and I feel like we just got him to sleep through the night about 1 month ago. I was doing the same thing, going to him when he woke and nursing him back to sleep b/c it was easy and quick. I finally realized things needed to change, for everyone's sake! So for several nights my hubby went in to soothe him and pat his back and since the baby did not get nursed, nor picked up, he realized there was no reason to wake up anymore. It took about 4 nights in a row for my baby to get the hang of it.
Good luck to you, you deserve a long night's sleep. I also like Dr. Weisbluth's book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child"

At 11 months old he doesn't need to be nursed at night. He can sleep all night without any problems. So it is basically up to mommy to make him. My oldest was the same way and I was so sleep deprived I would hallucinate at times.

You are going to have to make him sleep.

1.) he stays in the bed at night...do not pick him up
2.) he does not get nursed at night...tell him it is night-night time and he's is supposed to be asleep.
3.) when he cries gently but firmly lay him back down..pat his bottom, maybe sing a song quietly and then walk out....don't turn on the lights or pick him up....these are all signals to be awake.
4.) let him cry it out for 15 minutes or so...then return to gently but firmly lay him back down. Tell him it is night-night time and he is going to go back to sleep.
5.) Repeat the process until he gives up. It will take a few trips the first night...and a few the second and third night...but typically they get it after a week.

Don't give in. Don't capitulate to him. He's the boss right now and you need to take over the role to maintain some sanity.

If he's not in a crib, you may need to physically keep putting him back in his bed. Don't let him get out of bed, don't turn on the light, and just keep telling him he's going to go to sleep. He will soon realize that you are the boss and you mean what you say.

Don't worry all parents typically have atleast one child that goes through this. It is normal. You just can't let it continue.

PS don't be afraid to let him cry it out a little. When you go back in every 15 minutes you are reassuring him that he hasn't been abandoned...It will not traumatize him and he will be fine. Who knows where the ridiculous notion came from that you can't let a child cry. My girls are the sweetest, smartest, loving, little ones you will ever meet and they have cried it out plenty of times. Sometimes we need to know that the world doesn't revolve around us and we are not the boss...good to learn before they get big enough to start swinging and hitting.

I can feel your pain. My second daughter was 18 mos and still waking up about every two hours. It was very hard! I took her to a sleep therapist. They used to be in Napervlle by Edwards hopsital, but I know they've moved (your dr. can probably recommend someone too) What ended up working for mine was taking the one side off her crib and butting up a bed next to it (this way she didn't get used to having someone is bed with her. I did this in a spare room for 2 reasons, one so she didn't get used to mom and dad's room and two, this room had no distractions. Just the crib bed and changing table. The issue with my daughter is she lacked the capability of relaxing herself on her own. So when she rolled or wiggled and woke herself up, she couldn't calm herself down. The key was as soon as I felt her start to wiggle I'd gently rub her back to help her calm down. This lasted about 4 months and she has slept wonderfully ever since.

he is too hungry. give him formula for the last feeding. you may not be producing enough milk to satify him. or give him aliitle baby cereal before bed so he stays fuller longer. try putting him to bed an hour later

We had the same problem until I stopped feeding him when he woke up. Our ped. recommended that we at first just soothe him until he went to bed. Then if it continued to just ignore his crys. It took a few nights, but it worked. It was h*** o* me at first, but a good long sleep is good for their health. Our ped. also pointed out that it really isn't hunger that wakes them but the routine. At this age they don't need nourishment in the night. Good Luck

yikes! I feel your pain. Been there at 6 months with my little one. It's not fun. Go to the library & check out a few books suggested by everyone. You'll find a method that you are comfortable with. It is hard, but at this point it's a habit that needs to be broken. Sleep training works-usually within 2 weeks. Best of luck!!

as long as you continue to nurse him during his waking up at night this will not stop- you have to decide when you are ready to have him stop tell his father and she if dad can go in there make sure hes dry and tell him its bed time- no lights on as little stimulation as possible- let him cry 5-10 min go in dont pick him up and tell him its night night time let him cry 10-15 min go in dont pick him up etc... it is not easy. its so hard and you may not get much sleep the first few days but then when he gets it you will get your sleep then so I recommend trying on a thurs or fri when you have the weekend to rest. my husband and I would take turns during the day- I would watch him the hour before his nap time and my husband would get him the hour after his nap and that would give us at least a 3 hour break.

He is probably waking up and crying because he hasn't had to self-soothe because you are nursing him. You will have to stop nursing him and may have to let him cry it out for a couple of nights, which will be extremly hard. What I have done is that I pick them up calm them down and then put them back down without feeding the baby. It is VERY HARD to do. We have had to do this several times with my daughter. When she gets sick, she is 2 1/2, we let her sleep with us and then when she is better she only wants to be in our bed, so we have to get tough for a couple of nights.

Good luck!

Dear A.- your tender heart toward you little one is such a good thing. But it seems you have trained him to wake up so often by rewarding him with a snack and a snuggle. It will mean a few difficult nights, but the chuck wagon needs to close down at night. Perhaps you can pat his back, and speak soothingly, but no snack. Soon, he'll get the picture. My kids are older now, but I wish I'd gotten a clue sooner about how incredibly important training is. As parents, we seem to think that our children should behave well, and when they don't, we should correct them. but training is a completely different thing! It's more instructional, with tons of opportunities for positive reinforecment, hugs and kisses. the best book i've ever seen on the topic is a little booklet called "To train up a child" by Mark Pearl. I'm sure it's available on Amazon if you're interested. I wish with all my heart I'd had it when my kids were younger. It would have saved me years of trial and lots and lots of error! Bless you as you raise your precious son. -N.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weisbluth!

My little guy was never a good sleeper either. I know that many people will disagree...but we would give him a bottle of formula (By the time he was your son's age I was still nursing...but only before bed at this point) and he would be out cold until 6:30-7am.
I did get better.....all of a sudden....just shortly after he turned one he finally started sleeping through the night.
Hang in there.....it will get better. You just have to do whatever you need to do to survive! Ha.
Best Wishes.