9 Month Old Wants to Nurse Throughout the Night

My daughter, who's always been a good sleeper, started waking up at night wanting to nurse at EXACTLY that same age (probably an impending milestone thing). I sent my husband to her. She screamed the first night for 45 minutes, which was so hard to hear. The second night she cried for 20 minutes, the third night for five minutes, and on the fourth night she didn't wake up. It only took her three nights to figure out that mama wouldn't nurse her at night anymore. It was tough on my husband, but he was willing and able to do it (I was NOT!) I let my husband get her back to sleep his way without interfering.

Good luck.

K. in EC

1 mom found this helpful

Well, a 9 month old baby doesn't NEED to nurse in the middle of the night - for hunger. He is probably doing it for comfort. You should probably try putting an end to this as soon as possible. Breaking routine later on is always more difficult. My son also liked to nurse himself back to sleep at night. I was just exhausted and had to put an end to it... My husband was the one who got up with him for about 3 or 4 nights and soothed him back to sleep. He did whatever it took to get him to calm down and go back to sleep. He would pat his back, or carry him and sing, or rock him to sleep... That way our son was comforted, but he got the clue that waking up did not equal nursing. On the third or 4th night, he figured out that it wasn't worth it to wake up - cause he wasn't getting mommy and he didn't get to nurse. It worked!

1 mom found this helpful

Dear M.,
My children both always slept all night by the time they were about 4 weeks old. If they woke, it was one time and I put them in bed with me to nurse them. It was as much for me as anything as I could be laying down and resting while nursing. Of course, there were always exceptions to the night sleeping if they were ill or teething, but my kids slept all night and were alert and active/eating during the day. They were 10 years apart, so I really wasn't expecting to get so lucky a second time. But sure enough, my son was a night sleeper too. Sometimes I almost feel guilty saying that I never had to do the up every two hours at night thing. My babies kept me hopping during the day....but we all were able to sleep at night.
The only thing I can recommend is letting your baby "tank up" before you put him in his own bed. You said yourself, sometimes he just wants the comfort of the booby to get back to sleep.
I don't believe in the cry it out method either, but there is a big difference between a baby screaming for 20 minutes and just fussing around, semi awake, expecting that boob to be right there. Giving him the breast every time he starts squirming or rooting around may not be the best idea. Babies do need to learn to self soothe to an extent. I called my kids "Holy Rollers" because they were very active in their sleep. They'd roll from one end of their crib to the other. If I thought that meant they were awake and needed to be nursed every time they started wiggling around, my boobs would have either fallen off or I would have died from exhaustion.
I nursed my son for 15 months. He had dinner, bathtime, night time booby, and then he slept all night.
He did go through phases where he would wake up and we could hear him jabbering and rolling around. And I figured out if he fussed and fussed, (different from plaintiff wailing), he was usually too warm. So, he liked sleeping in a jammie top and a diaper and didn't get too hot.
I hope you get some other good advice.
Like I said, there is a difference between a kid crying and a kid just fussing. It won't hurt any of you to try just waiting to see if he will roll around a bit and settle back to sleep. If you are co-sleeping, you have already begun a pattern to which, at 9 months old, your son can crawl over hill and dale, find you, lift your shirt up and get the breast all by himself.
Best of wishes.

Try offering him a pacifier first before you give him your breast. He may just need to suck. My daughter will nurse all night if I let her. After a point, I take her off my breast and if she doesn't settle down, I'll give her her pacifier. That seems to help.

If he is truly hungry, the paci won't soothe him and you can let him nurse. Good luck!

Hi there,

Stop worrying about it. Your lucky that your boy is eating baby food. My son now 5 yrs old, when he was a baby all he wanted was me for 13 mo. I made baby food, a bought baby food and I did not have any luck. Dr. said as long as he is breast feeding he is very healthy. Anyway enjoy while you can. then he was 10 mo. in between breast feeding I'll give him baby crackers, cheerios, cut up banana, and other foods but as I said he prefers me. He is healthy, and smart.

Stop worrying......and enjoy your baby.
M.

We went through the same thing with our 13 month old son at around the same time. i had done some hard work of letting him cry while i rocked him in order to 'cut' out feedings. this would work, but then we would travel (and sleep in same bed) or he'd get sick or be teething, and we'd be right back to where we were when baby was 3 months old. this was particularly frustrating because people LOVE to tell you that babies don't need to night nurse anymore or how their baby sleeps through the night. by the time my son was 9 months i was greatly disliking the night nursing. but my husband kept encouraging me to ride it out to 1 year and then reconsider what to do about the night wakings. during our son's 12th month, he started sleeping through the night all on his own! without doing anymore crying over lost feedings. i am thrilled!

so, what my advice to you is... consider that your baby is breastfed and often people whose babies 'sleep though the night' let their baby cry in their room by themselves or feed baby formula. remember that exclusively breastfed babies eat more often and it is best to breastfeed for at least 1 year, unfortunately this often includes night feedings long after we think they should be over. and when you decided to have a baby you did sign up for lots of nightwakings the first year. so perhaps if you can just accept them as a part of your life for now and set a focus on that 1 year benchmark and then see what's going on, it can help you to not be stressed out about it now. oh yes, and the advice about having your husband going is a great tip!

Hi there,

We're still struggling with the sleep issues with our 1 year old, so I don't have a great solution. But I'd guess your son is either teething or going through some other change or growth spurt and he'll grow out of it.

One thing that might help is if your husband goes to soothe him at night. Then he won't expect to be breast fed. This works sometimes with us. Sounds like you are lucky to have a supportive husband so hopefully he will be happy to help at night.

We've tried sleep training but it hasn't worked for us, so we're trying to just go with the flow and see if we can manage that way. In our experience so far, our daughter has had nights where she didn't wake at all (or maybe just once), to nights where she wakes 5 times. When she has more frequent night wakings it's hard not to panic and think that a solution has to be found before it gets worse, but I think it's not so linear... things might get worse and then better on their own, without having to resort to drastic measures. It's REALLY hard when we're sleep deprived and feeling like we're reacting all the time, not able to control the situation. But this phase is so short, our little ones will be grown up soon and off to college before we know it!

Good luck and sweet dreams to all of you!

H.

I've been there. It felt like I was reading my own story. I could never let my daughter cry it out so every time she woke, every two hours, for her whole first year, I would get up and nurse her. I justified this because she never nursed for very long, maybe 5-10 minutes, and I wanted her to get as much breast milk as possible. This was especially the case when, like your son, she was eating solids during the day and would not want to relax to breastfeed and refused to drink milk out of a bottle or cup. So, I continued the all night routine till she was a year (my own goal for breastfeeding) then decided it would be worth the pain of breaking this night feeding habit, and basically weening her, in exchange for some much needed sleep.

What I did was slowly drop one feeding at a time by instead giving my daughter her paci and rocking her and rubbing her back until she would finally get to sleep. At first this took up to an hour, which was hard when I knew that just 5 minutes of nursing would do the same, but I thought it better than the alternative of an hour of her screaming. By a week she would sleep 3-4 hours between waking instead of only 2, and it usually took around 15 minutes to rock her back to sleep. Within the month we were down to one feeding a night (from 5) but she was still waking numerous times. And, of course every time she woke she would stand up and be crying for me to pick her up to rock her, so I still wasn't getting the sleep I needed.

One day, in my sleep deprived state, it finally occurred to me that if I didn't want her to automatically stand up every time she woke that I shouldn't be trying to comfort her from above the crib, but instead be down at mattress level. So then, instead of rocking her or leaning over her to rub her back I started sitting on the floor with my head next to her mattress and would not make eye contact until she laid down herself. After only a couple nights she stopped standing up and would roll over to fall back to sleep as soon as she saw me sit down next to the bed. Then about a week later she stopped waking altogether!

I finally realized that to get her to sleep herself, without crying it out, I needed to eliminate the stimulation of nursing, rocking, back rubbing, etc. and just let my presence be enough comfort. Then it didn't take long for her to not even need that. So, now she's sleeping 8 hours, then I do still nurse her once, and she's back to sleep for another 3-4. Unfortunately, I still wake several times during the night and go check on her, I just can't believe she's actually sleeping for so long. I really drew out the process thinking it would be better to slowly change habits than smacking my baby with a new routine cold turkey. So, it has worked but took a lot of patience.

Good luck and hopefully you’ll soon have good nights.

Hi M.,
I never dealt with the issue you have, but I thought the book The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems was a great resource for getting babies to sleep through the night without having to cry it out. I used this book with both of my kids and they were sleeping through the night at 3 months, so I know the methods work. As far as timing, it's really up to you. But the way I see it, if you get him off the nursing all night now, you'll get more sleep (always a good thing) and you won't be taking away his nighttime comfort and breastmilk all at the same time when you wean him at 1 year. I would think it'd be easier to wean him if you aren't taking away 2 things at once.
Good luck whatever you decide to try!
C.

Hi M.,

I too have a 9 month old son. When he wakes up in the night, which is quite frequent, I give him his pacifier and he sucks on that and pretty much falls asleep right away. He is a light sleeper so luckily he takes the paci. If he wakes up and the paci does not soothe him, I will pick him up and rock him back to sleep, sometimes I lay down with him on my tummy and he falls asleep that way, then I just take him to his crib again. My son will only fall asleep after nursing too. You are very lucky to have a husband who is willing to help you. Have fun. Take care and get some sleep!
H.

I just weaned my 13 month old from her nighttime snacking. I decided to wait until she was 12 months. I did it because I needed the sleep - she was still waking every 1-2 hours. She still eats before bed (sometimes 3 times) and then again after 6am, a couple times before getting out of bed. She slept with my husband and me exclusively until a few weeks ago and is only in her crib now because that was the only way to get her not to eat during the night. She is now sleeping much longer, but still wakes occasionally.

How we did it... we started on a Friday night by putting her in her room and my husband or I would get up with her when she woke. The first few nights were very tough since she was use to nursing to go to sleep and cuddling with me. I couldn't do the actual cry-it-out method, so I ended up sleeping on her floor for a week and talking her back to sleep. If she wasn't going to calm down I did get her out of her crib and soothe her or move her to the matress on the floor with me.

What ever you decide to do, just remember it takes time. Good Luck!

Hi M.,

My son is almost 16 months old and still nursing at night. I just want to encourage you that it is totally normal! Americans for some reason think that tiny babies need to sleep alone in their own rooms, but in most of the world that is not the norm. I was talking to my Thai friend yestreday and she said they don't really use cribs at all in Thailand. Also I wanted to point out that nursing for comfort is a legitimate need, just as much as nursing for food. You are your son's main source of comfort in an overhwelming world and that is a wonderful gift you can give him!

All that said, sometimes you do need a break. What has worked for us is having my husband rock him to sleep. The first time we did this, our son cried for quite a while, but eventually fell alseep. But the next day he seemed way more bonded to my husband, and now he will go to sleep for him without even fussing. That has led to me being able to rock him back to sleep without nursing sometimes.

Don't be too hard on yourself & your son. It's totally normal for him to want to nurse at night. Unless you're just hating the nursing, maybe you should just go with it for now. Despite what people tell you, he will outgrow it when he's ready. Good luck!

My son would always fall asleep at the breast. So what I did was i tried not to associate nap time and bed time with eating. I would nurse, bathtime, sing a couple songs and then lie down and turn out the lights. When he would wake up from a nap I would do some kind of activity before nursing again. whether it was looking at a picture book or singing some more and then I would feed him. It really worked for him, he was sleeping through the night a 7 month's. A night time routine is the best way to help your child learn to sleep through the night but you have to be consistent and try to keep it at the same time each night. One thing i've learned is that it's so important for children to learn to fall asleep on their own. Of course i'm not a believer in letting them scream themselves back to sleep. But usually if I let him go for a few minutes it was enough for him to go back to sleep. oh- another thing I would give him a stuff animal and a blanket when he would cry that way he also associated those as comfort instead of my breast. It can be done but you have to be patient and you are going to have to be prepared for some crying. It's normal. But it can be done. Good luck! Enjoy your son! It goes by so fast!

If you can't do the cry it out thing, I would try getting a calming CD to play while you nurse him. Try to get the "falling asleep thing" associated with the music. Then try moving from nursing him to sleep with the music to just rocking him to sleep with the music. You may get lucky and have a baby who will "just go to sleep" eventually (I unfortunatly am not so lucky, my children have to cry to go to sleep for some unknown reason).

Hope this helps.

At 13 months I had enough of night nursing too. I wanted to wait until at least a year stop at night because I wanted to make sure he got as much breastmilk as he wanted for the first year, and not have it reduce my supply. We had my husband sleep with him and comfort him when he woke, and I'd say about a week later he slept through the night, and has for the last 5 months. We were hoping he wouldn't think it was worth it to wake up if we wasn't going to get to nurse, and I think that's exactly what happened.

M., we are going through the exact same thing right now with our 9 month old daughter. My pediatrician said that she doesn't NEED food in the middle of the night -- her nursing is more for comfort than hunger. She also said that if she keeps nursing for a long time, after the breast is emptied, she'll get more foremilk, which may lead to a sugar spike and more restlessness.

So, three nights ago we decided that I would not nurse her between the 11 pm "dream feed" and 6 a.m. Instead, my husband comforts her, and will give her a bottle if she's really inconsolable. So far, very limited success, but we're going to keep trying for a while and hope it works.

I know how you feel, I didn't think much of it when my youngest wanted to nurse through the night. Now she just turned 2 and wants nothing else except my milk. I have a one year old that just wants to nurse mainly when he is tired, but he still wakes up in the night. My 2 year old just comfort nurses all the time. Try to break the habit now. I didn't and I am now struggling with weaning her. You can ask your doctor about introducing cow's milk now. I started when m 2 year old was 10 months old. She was almost weaned until I had my son. We started with one 8 ounce bottle a day then gradually increased it to 3. Good luck.

Mother of 4 (15,10,2,1) Still breastfeeding

I had the same problem with my baby girl. My peditrician said she was using me as a human pacifier and told me to get her into her crib ASAP. It was a rough 2-3 nights but she has been sleeping in her crib all night ever since. She doesn't even like to nap with me anymore :( But it has been better for all of us! Hope this helps.