Almost 3 Yo Daughter Beating Me Up...

Hi M.. Have you asked your pediatrician for any advice?

I know it is hard, but I would keep calm anytime she does this behavior.
Simply remove her from your presence - physically pick her up, put her in her room, lock her door (install a lock on the outside of the door), and let her have a tantrum. Tell her when she is done, and can act like a little girl, you'll let her out of her room. That's it. Don't yell, raise your voice, be calm. Don't give her any of the attention she is looking for.

Make sure there is nothing in the way in her room where she can hurt herself.

I would not typically recommend locking a child in their room, but this is an extreme case. She can also hurt herself, and if you are getting that frustrated (as I would too) she needs to be out of your line of sight, and you need to be out of hers so she can't hurt you, and can't see you.

With that being said, make sure your praise her over AND over again for every little good thing she does during the day. Tell her you love her a lot, and give tons of hugs and kisses for when she is being good.

Best of luck to you!

I read good advice here last week that children don't act this way with others because they don't feel comfortable enough. This has reassured me lately because my daughter has been totally disrespecting only me, so maybe keep that in mind so you don't take this personally.

I've become so fed up with my daughter arguing and talking back to me that I decided last night that it was desperate enough to resort to crying to show my daughter how she's hurting me. This has had good results so far because it draws on her nurturing instinct. It's the only thing I've found to work at all. Good luck!

Sounds like she is very frustrated - why? She doesn't liek the rules? Maybe sit down and discuss the rules of the house with her - in simple terms - let her make up some rules. At 3 she is testing you - so put it out there on the level playing field. Make sure she knows the rules and if she breaks them or makes the choice to not follow the rules then there will be consequences - and stick to it. You are setting the stage for all the other times in life she will test you. But let her know that she is making the choice - at 3 she gets that. The other thing is to have Dad have a talk or a "meeting" with her. Meetings are very important and require you to sit and listen - Mom doesn't need to be at the meeting. Dad needs to give some examples of how it is not nice to hit (or pinch etc) anyone especially Mom. Make sure that she knows Dad doesn't hit Mom or anyone. That is the way we act. You may have to say it thousands of times but you need to put the expectations out there. Our children always make their own choices, those belong to them. But we need to put our expectations of what is acceptable in front of them all the time even at the age of 3.

Good luck - hope it helps.

Hi M.,

My daughter is about 2 weeks younger than your daughter. Her problem is when she gets frustrated she starts to bite. She throws mean temper tantrums. Not all the time........ What works for me is simply using the words "NO......then whatever it is she is doing." No biting, no screaming, etc. I use a stern voice that lets her know that I mean it. It is not a magic word, but it establishes the rule. When she is calm, then I talk to her about the behavior and what the rule means. Let her know the right behavior. My other trick is distraction. Or changing the subject. Sometimes, its just the way you use your voice that could pull her out of it.

If that doesn't work, like you, I walk away. I did establish one trick early on in this phase where I ask her if she needs a time out to calm down. If she says now, then I remind her that we don't need to........and whatever it is she is doing. However, sometimes, my daughter does say yes to the timeout.

Hang in there.