Advice on How to Feed Reluctant Self Feeder

If she seems interested in what you and your husband are eating maybe if you start eating and show enthusiasm about your food and then cut a little bit of it up and put it on her tray she'll try it? My 11.5 mo old eats lots of table food and she only has two teeth (it's amazing what they can chew!)Things my daugther like are peas (I put some frozen peas in the microwave for 30 seconds), Gerber puffs, cantelope, banana, avacado, bread w/ cheese melted on it, quartered grapes, cooked sweet potato, cheerios, cereal bars (earths best sells them for young kids) and french toast (made w/ egg yolkk only).

Try a couple of different things to see if she'll take any of them. If not, maybe like some of the others said, it's just going to take some time with her. Good luck!

Hi,

Most babies won't feed themselves (that is, if we're talking spoon-feeding) until after they are about a year old. My two oldest were good self-feeders at about 18 months. My now 18 month old son is proving to be much slower than them because he has, with the exception of a two week vacation aat the grandparents house, never sat in a high chair for feeding.

If we're talking finger foods, I wouldn't worry about it. In fact, consider yourself lucky that she is not putting too many things in her mouth. Perhaps also she doesn't like what your are offering. My son will eat crackers and cookies if we are out, but at home he only throws it on the floor and crushes it up. He also had no teeth until he was about 10 or 11 months, like his sister, and when he was one year old I started giving him Cheerios, which are the classic finger food.

Good luck. BUt remember, the most important thing is that she is eating, not necessarily how she is eating at this age.

Hi J.,
I have a 14 month old boy & I found that they will do it when they are ready. Just keep giving her the opportunity. It seems as soon as I stop obsessing about the issue of the day it ends up working out.
I am also in the Greater hartford area & would love to get together with other moms.

I would just keep encouraging her to feed herself. When she does praise her, make a huge deal out of it. Clap your hands, say YAY Brianna you are feed yourself, great job etc. : )

My kids were both self feeders because I'm not big into "baby food" and just let them eat real food when they were ready.

Just cut up things (avocado, mango, banana, ripe pear, tofu, pasta, steamed carrots, anything kinda soft) into small pieces and put them on her tray. Then step back and let her explore. I think it's just a matter of frequent exposure and practice.

And believe me, you don't need teeth to eat. ;)

I wouldn't worry about it - I promise she will self-feed eventually, and in the meantime you can be grateful that she lets you feed her since that is a lot less messy. My daughter wasn't a huge self-feeder, but things she liked to feed herself were yogurt (she wouldn't do that until she was a year or so old), little puffs (look in the baby food section), and freeze-dried fruit. She was around that age when she started to get teeth too - she was over 2 before her 1-yr molars came in and it always seemed like her friends would eat a much wider range of things than she would but now she eats everything they do and actually is a very neat eater, so I guess it all works out in the end!

My son, now 26 months, absolutely would not feed himself anything until he was 15-16 months old. Our pediatrician told us to not feed him and that after a few meals, he would do it, but by the second meal, he just screamed, and we relented. We tried praise, letting him sit for a good period of time with foods he loved before we would feed him, everything! We thought we'd be feeding him in high school! It was a pain to have to feed him every meal, but as someone else mentioned, we didn't have to ever deal with the messes most babies make when they start feeding. One day, he just started feeding himself, and because he was older when he got started, he took to a fork almost immediately after (we always had one that we used and one that he could play with while he was eating, so he would get used to one). So, looking back, my advice is that you just don't worry about it. Eventually, she will get it all on her own.

J.,

Relax! My 10 month old has 8 teeth and still gags on anything besides extremely mushed baby food. It is actually easier and much less messy to feed them than to let them feed themselves...and believe me that time will come soon enough. I am sure she is doing beautifully!! I don't know where you live...but in the Merrimack Valley we have the Mother Connection which is a great volunteer based organization that connects moms with playgroups, a great newsletter, and workshops. You should check them out. Another great tool is joining a gym with a child care facility. I am a member of the Y in Andover which has a wonderful community of SAHM's plus free childcare of up to 2 hours a day...you can't beat that! Good luck!!

H. Z. (Mom to Spencer 4 1/2, James 3 1/2, and Wilco 10 1/2 Months)