Advice on Development & Bed-wetting!!

Please don't be swayed by the responses that say he's way too old to still be wetting! You've talked to your pediatrician -- it's perfectly okay. You should not worry & neither should your son. Of course, I understand that you want to do everything you can to help, but it's not something that either one of you should be ashamed of. My advice - go with your doctor's advice. If you're not happy, call your insurance company to see if you can get a 2nd opinion. Or see if you can call a different doctor's office to see what they say. Don't rely on other moms (non professionals) on this one. (Unless they have advice on helping - not just saying that it's way past time!)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.,

With the bed wetting, many kids have this problem, and will out grow it eventually. Age five is not that old for kids who are having this problem (although most kids without it are dry at night long before this age) so for a child who has this difficulty, he could take several more years before he will gain control, but it does happen. You can talk to the Dr, or you can wait it out and use good nights. If you have not had any luck with the standard things like limiting fluids at night, there probably won't be much else you can do to help him until he matures. I know kids who have gone until age 12 with enuresis, so he is not that old in terms of the issue.

On the other issue, you should seek help, but I am not sure what kind of professional you should seek. It sounds like you are baffled about where he might have seen this behavior, it seems a little overboard for the usual hands in your pants kind of thing with boys. You might consider asking your pediatrician for a referral to a social worker. Maybe they could set you up with the right kind of professional who could get to the bottom of where he was exposed to this, if there is anything, or help you get some help to get it under control.

If you think that he really does not get how relationships work, as long as there are no other social oddities then you can probably assume that this is behavioral, but if he has other social difficulties, language, sensory or attentional issues too, then you should look deeper into a developmental evaluation. Bed wetting frequently accompanies developmental delays.

Good luck
M.

Your little boy sounds normal to me, although I can see where you are concerned. First, the bedwetting may last a while. Certainly talk to your doctor if you are concerned, but some kids wet the bed until they are into adolescence. I know it's so frustrating, my 3 year old is still wet at night no matter what we do. My aunt wet the bed until she was 15 and there is a genetic component so I'm preparing myself for that possibility! So I guess what I'm saying is talk to your doctor, or even a few doctors, and see what they say. I'm not even sure there is anything you can do other than wait for his body to be ready. As for the other matter, definitely don't make a big deal about it. Just because he's never seen it doesn't mean he hasn't figured out how to make himself feel better. What he's doing isn't really a sexual thing, he's too young for that. It's self-soothing. Is there something going on at school that is bothering him or some trouble with a playmate? Many kids this age who feel unsure about something or are dealing with something emotional will find this particular method to cope. Have there been any big changes in his life recently? And please DO NOT think I am saying he's "troubled". I would just maybe keep your ears and eyes open to anything he might say about something bothering him. And if there's nothing significant going on, then chalk it up to he figured out probably by accident that it feels good and wants to keep doing it. I'm sure he'll stop on his own! I wouldn't tell him to stop, I would just encourage him to do it in private.

My son was a bedwetter, as was his father. Son wet the bed occasionally until he was around 12; mother-in-law said the same was true for my husband. They are both very deep sleepers; I had a terrible time waking my son if he fell asleep for a nap before dinner.

Have your son checked for a physical problem, but there's probably nothing wrong. Some kids just take longer, and some take a really long time. That's why they make UnderJams. Use them, and relax about it. He'll be dry at night before he goes to college.

I don't have advice on the bed wetting, but I do remember being about 5 years old and trying to "make out" with my mom lol. I remember that I had seen it on a soap opera while my mom was home with me during the day. My version of making out was holding my lips together and turning my head from side to side while I kiss her. She immediately corrected me and said that's not how mommies kiss their kids, it's how husbands and wives kissed. I never did it again.

Kids are funny! Maybe he is just doing what feels good. I would not make a big deal out of any these things unless he is doing them in public.
As for the bedwetting, my son wet the bed from age 5 until he was 9. I know it is frustrating. I would definitely get him checked out by a doctor. We tried everything even medication, but none of it worked. I was beginning to think he would be one of those guys who wet the bed all their life and then he quit. May just take time.

You would be surprised at what kids might be doing or talking about at recess or on the school bus!
And even at this age.
It IS gross when a child of this age is doing or talking about such things.
I would not hesitate to talk to him about it and ask him where he saw or heard of such a thing and remind him that it is inappropriate for ANYONE to be doing "that" in front of anyone etc.
You do not have to go into detail with him right now but I would make sure that he knows that it is not acceptable behavior.
Here is my question:
"Whatever happened to CHILDHOOD, and why does the media think it's perfectly ok to expose children to adult themes at every turn?"
It makes me sick when my grandchildren are hearing stuff from their schoolmates or others that I didn't know until I was in college or even later.
We grandparents and parents have one helluva job today to keep "childhood" for our children.
I wish you the best.

Hey M.,
I had to write you. My son is 6 also and he has done the exact same thing. He still wets to bed also and we're doing exactly what u're doing. The humping stuff also. I actually have some advice on that. Believe me, I know the exact thoughts that run through u're mind when u see u're child doing that. I actually took my son to therapy because it was so bad and we found out it was a sensory thing. She said that when you find your child doing that just act normal and get him to do something that he likes. you could tell him a story, or direct him to some toys that he likes. Just something. I know this works because my son has quit doing it. Does your son have playdates or anything? I was just wondering because when my son would go to his grandma's house on his dad's side, he would witness his cousin doing these things and he thought it was completely normal because she is his age. Just pay attention to who he hangs out with. I hope this helps a little bit:)
Jenn

I had the bedwetting prob with my now 9yr old. I ended up taking him to a pediatric uroligist. They did a belly scan on him to find out that his bowels were enlarged. He eats the heck out of fruit and veggies, and I of course wasnt monitering his pooping. Apparently the poop would sit in his bowels for a good couple days which put pressure on his bladder inwhich than he wet the bed. solution hes on miralax once a day for 6-12 months to shrink his bowels. Once we put him on that within a couple days we were accident free.

Relax and don't make a "big" deal out of it. He's "exploring" his world. He sees you and "daddy" MORE than you think! Put a blanket under door. My six yr old still "explores" his gentials. If you don't over act they evidentually stop.
As for bed wetting - Nite times work wonderful. He stop when he's ready!

Both my sons wet the bed until age 8. I say wet the bed, but actually they were in pull-ups. I tried all sorts of things, including letting them wet themselves, thinking the uncomfortable factor would make them wake to pee. Nope. All my kids are very heavy sleepers - their bodies just didn't recognize the "I have to pee" signal. I took my oldest to the urologist and they tested him, but nothing physically was wrong. They suggested the alarm system where the sensor beeps when it senses wetness. My son only had to use this for 2 weeks before he started waking up to go to the bathroom. My other son never had to use the alarm, he just started waking up to pee when his body was ready. Some kids just take longer. It can be very frustrating, but patience was the key. As far as the other issue, I've seen you have received different opinions and I don't know anything helpful. My first thought would be that it's somewhat normal, but with something like this, I would also have him checked out by a therapist just to be sure. I don't think you can be OVERLY cautious when it comes to these kinds of things. Good luck with everything.

Definitely take him to the dr and get a referral to maybe a urologist. On the other issue, he must have seen something somewhere or he wouldn't act out this way. It's not normal behavior. I would maybe start by asking your pediatrician for a referral for a pediatric counselor. But definitely, think about if there is anybody that he is around by himself who would either watch TV shows or movies that are inappropriate for your son or someone who is on the computer looking at more hardcore stuff. Have you ever asked your son why he is doing this? Or where he saw this being done?

It is past time to talk to your physician about the behavioral issues going on with your son. I have a brother 9 years younger, raised a son who is 27, and am raising a 10 year old boy currently. We've had some issues with bed wetting until about age 3 1/2, but none of the other behavioral issues are at all normal. He needs help and you need to get it for him ASAP.

Please take him to a urologist.
My little brother struggled with this until he was 16 tired everything!
finally someone referred my mother to a urologist (however you spell it)
He spent one night in the hospital on medication. Something to do with his prostrate and he was cured.
Please don't let your son aganize any longer

Hi M.,
You have received advice from a number of directions so you obviously have a lot of decisions to make. I didn't see anyone mention this so I'll add this to the mix. Bedwetting can be a vitamin deficiency. I know it doesn't sound logical, but I have learned that so many issues are tied to nutrition. I know of a person that was bedwetting until 21 when she added one specific vitamin to her regimin and it stopped almost immediately. In fact I have testimonials of many this has worked for. Please contact me off site if you want to know the specifics. ____@____.com

My son will be 6 in a little over a month...still wetting the bed also. I bring it up to the ped. everytime we are there, always have. She takes note of it in his chart. She told me to not wake him through the night. Sleep walking runs in my family (my brothers were HORRIBLE---slept walk and peed in closets, walls, shoes!!) Anyways, our ped. said that waking him through the night could turn this gene on if he has it and cause him to sleep walk. We also discussed limiting fluids, and have tried, but it does not help.
There are meds they can start to give at some point in time, but I still prefer the wait it out game. His bladder will catch up at some point...I hope.
I did do some research and found that typically if they never really potty train at night then it could take 12 years to really get it. If they do potty train at night and then regress there is concern for other issues.
As for the other things, I'm not sure about. My son has tried to make out with me once but it's been about 6 months. I explained to him that's what adults do when they really like and love each other and he needed to wait until he was an adult to do such things. He saw it at his dad's house, said daddy was kissing his girlfriend, so my son wanted to kiss me that way.
As for the humping thing...I'm not sure. Good luck!