Advice Needed for a 7 Year Old's Strange Behavior

As a parent of 4 mostly grown kids, I was never successful in "pushing" my kids to put more effort into schoolwork. I think I should have been more structured about homework time. But as a consolation (and maybe there's some advice hidden in here) studies have shown that the more kids feel like they are doing the work and learning as their choice, the more they actually remember after the test is over and the more they are self-motivated. Punishments and rewards both convey the same message--there's no reason you would want to do this if you weren't forced/bribed. Structure (i.e. dinner/games/TV or whatever only comes after homework is done) and showing real interest in the content of what is learned may help. Good luck!!!

The Psychology of Parental Control:How well-meaning parenting can backfire by Wendy Grolnick is a good source for quality information.

He might need to be tested to check for ADHD or possibly some type of learning problem. Alot of times they will act out in school to cover up the fact that they are struggling elsewhere. If hes having trouble doing his work now it will only get worse! I have 3 sons with ADHD so I understand the difficulty. He may just be fine but with him acting out it's usually a sign of something going on. You might want to talk to his teacher about getting him tested.
This is just a suggestion based on what you have said.
D.

It sounds like it's the male peers making him feel inadequate, and the girls don't. He feels more comfortable around them.
Try and get him to talk about what's going on at school. Or leave it to the teacher/principal to talk with him.

My oldest got hounded for wearing glasses. Or one of my two oldest for where they were born (overseas in Sweden), like it made a big difference.

You can try Sylvan learning centers and see if they can spot a learning problem. If a child can't read, for instance, they'll lose interest in schoolbooks for fear of being discovered and teased even more for not keeping up. And kids can be mean!
My oldest didn't show a lot of effort either. He had/has the smarts, just never realized where effort could work for him. Until now.
Find out what his interests are. Encourage that interest, but gently lead into what it would take to attain that goal. BUT that he could do it because he is a bright kid and you and dad are always happy to help.

There is a really awesome book you might want to check out called Better Late than Early by Raymond S. Moore http://www.amazon.com/Better-Late-Than-Early-Education/dp... The premise of the book is that kids generally start school too soon for their 'Integrated Maturity Level', boys being more susceptible to the misgivings of institutionalized education. At the very least, it's a thought provoking read and it might help you identify what areas your son needs the most attention in and will give you some ideas of how to address the issue.

Good Luck!