Advice for Potty Training

First off, please don't compare your son to anyone else. He is his only little man. They are all different. My son was 3 by the time he was potty trained (I consider this when a child is using the potty and having NO accidents). I know several people who claim their children were potty trained by the time they were 1 or 2, but they were still having accidents. To me, that is not trained. With my boys, I did not have to bribe, just had to stick it out. With my daughter, I asked her what is the one thing you want that big girls have. She wanted Barbie skates. I told her she couldln't have them until she was trained. Six months later when I was sure she was trained and would not back slide, she got her skates. Not sure if this works for everyone, but it worked for me and I had tried everything else. I tried stickers, punishing, special treats, just about everything I could think of, and none of it worked. I had pretty much decided she would be going to college in adult diapers! Good luck and hang in there!

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Each child is different - for some it takes longer than others. Try and be patient, he'll get it when he's ready to get it and not a minute sooner... In the meantime, you can buy some pods - they are little underwear inserts that absorb pee if pees in his unders. He can still be a big boy with underwear and you can have a little peace of mind from all the wet clothes. Still gently remind him often or set times to pee and he'll get it eventually... I'm just finishing up training with my third child and I've been through everything with this. Believe me, they are all very different.

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Hi B.!

I feel your frustration! I have recently potty trained my 2 1/2 year old daughter. It took 6 days. We put her in underwear all the time...completely eliminated diapers. At first we tried putting her on the potty every 30 minutes, but what worked for her is that she had to decide for herdelf when she needed to potty. She didn't tell me at first, I had to watch for her signs. She would stand in one spot and fuss, or pull at her bottom or say ow and toch her bottom. The big thing I learned is don't let yourself get frustrated then your son will. Good luck!

I am getting ready to start with my daughter (or thought I was). She is about to turn three. Everything I've read (not to mention a talk with her pediatrician) says the best age is around three for girls and three and a half for boys - especially if you don't want to deal with a lot of "accidents" later. This is mostly a matter of their bodies being ready. My daughter is still not dry through the night, so she's not ready. No big deal. As everyone says - no one has started college in diapers, so why rush. I would rather it be a non stressful time for us both than push it. AS for your stepson, he's a rare animal as they say. Good luck and be patient. There's no reward for getting him trained soon rather than later.

Hi,
I wouldn't worry about it too much.
Boys usually take until 3yo to potty train- from what I understand. So your 2yo being trained is definitely in the minority.
Suggestions: maybe have him go every time you go. And ask every 2-3 hours for him to try to go potty, even if he says he doesn't have to do so, just ask him to try by counting to 5 or 10 while trying and see if anything happens. Often they will go and be surprised that they had to go when they could not feel that they had to go...
Good luck, but no worries!
He won't be 5 needing diapers during the day :)

I reared 4 kids (2 girls, 2 boys) and have helped train 2 grandsons. Mine were all totally potty trained by 2 (except both boys had a few wet beds after that -- not the girls), so I have some experience. (My mother-in-law said her 2 boys and 1 girl didn't use diapers after their first birthday, but she TOOK them to the potty or held them over a newspaper regularly. I didn't have THAT much patience with it!!)

Your attitude is probably most important. Either you DO expect him to be responsible, or you are 'casual' about it. Neither is wrong or right, they're just 'different'. Just make sure that you're consistent, not 'demanding compliance' one day and relaxed about it the next.

If you seriously think he KNOWS when he needs to go, and YOU are ready to 'get down to business' about it:
1) be sure to praise him (cheer and clap, if necessary) when he does go on the potty (either #1 or #2).
2) don't use diapers at all. They're too dependable (hence the adult brand of 'Depends'). Use training pants or regular underwear and let him wear them wet or dirty for a little bit for his discomfort (as long as he's not getting it on stuff).
3) tell him ahead of time (calmly, not threateningly) that if he 'messes' his pants, he'll have to clean up the mess -- then FOLLOW THROUGH. Have him dump (even 'scrape', if necessary) it in the commode (however YOU would have to do it), have him put it in the laundry or washer (if it's wet bedding, have him go ahead and help with the whole laundry process, washing, drying, folding or putting back on the bed).
4) Tell him when he uses the potty all the time for a week, he can go choose some cool underwear of his very own (then do it).

P.S. Using stickers as a 'reward system' is NOT 'bribery' (which is usually something about 'DON'T do this or that [negative thing] and I WON'T do this or that [negative thing]' -- kind of like 'blackmail', which is a BAD thing) or promising/giving them something that's not really good for them. On the other hand, saying, "If you do 'this' (desirable thing), I will give you 'this' (desirable thing)," it's simply positive reinforcement (like we adults get a paycheck 'if we do this and/or that' at our workplaces), and it's a GOOD thing!

Bribery works. I took off work for a four day week-end. (added an extra day to a holiday weekend) My husband made a big production out of taking my son to Wal-Mart and buying "big boy underwear" and a big bag of Skittles.

He wore the big boy underwear all 4 days. Every time he went potty in the potty seat he got a Skittle. If he had a bowel movement we gave him 5 Skittles.

He had the big boy underwear on for the first time less than 5 minutes when he had an accident and peed his pants all over the kitchen floor. He ran and grabbed a towel before I even said anything to him. I cleaned up the floor, put him in the bathtub to wash him off, sat him on the potty, put on another pair of big boy underwear and clean clothes. That was the first, but not the last accident. By the end of the weekend he was doing really well.

My son is smart. He knows the difference between a pullup and underwear. If he is in underwear he is less likely to have an accident than if he is in pullups.

Children do things on different levels. I think that it is huge progress that he goes in the potty at all. I feel he may not fully grasp having clothes on. He might feel it is the same as a diaper. try letting him run around in his big boy underwear at home, then when he needs to go encourage him to do so on his own start with baby steps like walking with him to the bathroom door and then watching him. You know that type of thing then make a SUPER big deal when he accomplishes the task.

I wouldn't stress; because if you do - he will. Some children just aren't ready that early - my son is not. He's 2.5 and not ready at all; my oldest was completely potty trained at 3.5. I hear girls are usually earlier on then boys. Just keep encouraging, but don't be over bearing - otherwise, he'll feel he's not good enough at something and that's not what you want with a natural body function. It's so easy to rush it along, I know we did with our first and it backfired. So - with our little guy now, we're letting him go at his pace, he sits on the potty now - but doesn't 'do' anything...

Get Elmo Goes Potty, and some other potty encouraging fun stuff for him... maybe that will help bring him along.

You're doing great - good luck.

Do not compare your son to anyone else....every child is different and it puts undue pressure on yourself. I totally let my boys potty train themselves, one did by 3 and the other by 3 3/4. We NEVER had any accidents OR wet beds. A wise woman (my mother-in-law, BSN,MSN,NP,PhD) once told me that by the age of 5, 99% of ALL children are potty trained, so not to sweat it.

Hey B.! I know that potty training is not one of the easiest parenting jobs that we get to do, but there is hope. What I did was made a game out of it. I would use cheerios or fruit loops in the potty or toilet and have them "aim" for them. It made it a whole lot more fun, yes alittle messy a first but that's what Lysol wipes are for.I wish you the best. May God Bless you all!

Hi B.,

Every child is different.

One of my sons refused to use the potty even though he knew how and when until I threatened to take away his birthday party. He was turning 4. The other, would stay dry for months, as long as he wore a pull-up. He finally was fully trained at 3.

My best friend's oldest son was completely trained the day before his 3rd birthday. Her younger son is still not night trained at 5.

He'll get it in his own time. It may be a control thing. He'll do it when he's ready. It's one thing he has complete control over.

Good luck!!

Hi B.! My son will be 2 next mth. The end of May is the 1st time my son went potty...and he did it on his own. He took my hand and walked me into the bathroom and said "potty mommy". i didn't force it full on....he did it here and there. For awhile he wld constantly go to the potty...even at daycare. now he goes pretty good and just the other day he pooped in the potty for the 1st time! :) But we're having the same issues as u....if he has his pull-ups on or even his spiderman undies he'll go in them. he willcome to meat timesnad say he needs to potty, and i also ask him in time intervals if he needs to go...and then there are times when i can tell he's about to go. I've started letting him run around the house naked so he can learn to go to the potty when he needs to go. I'm not real sure what caused the back set b/c he was doing extremely well. But from what I've read in books it makesit worse if the child is pressured to do it, etc. So i try to be consistent but I don't force him.. Hopefully we'll get it down soon. Like every1 says, every child is different. Good Luck!
E.

Potty training is TOUGH!!! My only advice is every child is different. And when he is ready he will be ready. I know that sound cryptic - however he will let you know when he is ready. I have found with my boys, pushing does not work. It does the opposite.

Also I don't see stickers as bribery. If you see it is an accomplishment chart with stickers and with a reward for hard work at the end, it might go better.

Good luck and dont worry he wont go to kindergarten in a diaper!

Hang in there. My son has been out of diapers since he was 18mths but is just now sarting to tell me. He just started out of the blue one day. He also likes to just go on his own, and willeven tell me he is going and "Mommy don't come". He has a little stool near the big potty that he uses to get on the big potty. Just be patient. He will get there. Just try to avoid as many accidents as possible and be super excited when he goes on the potty!

Good Luck!

My son finally got peeing in the potty at 2 1/2. He's almost 4 1/2 and he still sometimes has accidents with poop. We tried sticker charts but he didn't really understand it. I know several people who have successfully used candy like m&ms or skittles as a reward. We had to go a little bigger. For mine it took about a month of new hot wheels to finally motivate him enough. A single hot wheels car is less than $1 at walmart so I figured it was worth it. Once he had the habit of going we phased out the reward and he didn't even notice. I took advantage of the summer too with him. He had shown no real signs of being ready, but he had always taken prompting for any change in routine. First he went naked in the house. (it helped that we were about to replace the carpet anyway.) After a couple of accidents he got to run to the potty which I kept within arm's reach at all times. Then we put on underpants (the ones that have a little padding in the crotch just to absorb some of the mess). We didn't even try to pull them down at first just get use to wearing them and making it to the potty. Then we started pulling them down before sitting. Then we started putting shorts on too. He quickly decided he liked the big potty better than the floor potty though and when got on of the adjustable seats. Once there he decide standing to pee was much better. Now he only sits if he has to poop too.

Just be patient. Sounds like he just needs time. Some it takes longer than others. Do more naked time. Don't make a big deal about any of it. Especially accidents. They are only accidents. Go on and try the Big Boy Potty. Have always liked training mine on the big potty with a small seat on it if we need it. And I always only used praise for rewards. We dance, clap, jump up and down, etc.
Good luck and it'll happen!

Hi! My son just recently turned 2 and was showing signs of being ready to use the potty. We bought him Batman underwear and told him that he would make Batman sad if he pottied on him. We've only had 3 accidents total so far. We've only been training for 2 weeks and he's almost completely potty trained. A friend told me about this method and it's worked for us. Good luck!

B.,
Every child develops differently... seriously, as different as all of are, me from you etc.. so is your little boy. More than likely, he will be completely PT by the time he is 3...
My nephew said, when he turned 3 he would wear big boy underwear and that is exactly how it happened. There are very few things kids can control and that is one area that they can decide WHEN... or maybe he just doesn't realize it. Maybe if I may suggest put him in those underwear that are like training pants, not pull ups.. yes, it will be messy but it will also let him know when or the real mess that he will be in if he goes in his pants... the pull ups pull so much of the wetness away, the kids aren't feeling the yucky feeling of being wet or in dirty pants.

One suggestion and that is your decision as you know what will work best for your family is... when our DD was PT and she started early at 14 months on her own, I suppose because everyone was always going potty, daddy, mommy, brother, the dog.... anyway we gave her 1 M & M each time she went pee. When she had a BM (that is what we refer to it as I didn't want a child screaming in public that they had to go POO, just a personal choice but one that worked well with my now adult child who is 19) But when she had a BM, we gave her 2.

I think a child has to be aware of the muscles in his or her own body and develop that self control. Maybe when he is naked, he doens't want to go on the floor so he runs to the potty..but when he has clothes on.. he knows it isn't going to go on the floor... I would put him in those cloth training pants and nothing else... since it is still summer... always bring several changes of clothes with you anywhere you go, and don't buy anymore pull ups.

It will be rough but it will work.

Remember B., do what is best for you and your family. :)

All I can say is keep trying and be patient. When he is ready, and not before, he will start going on his own. My 1st two children were trained at age 2. Not so with my youngest. She is 3 1/2 and has only been potty trained for two months now. Talk about frustrating! I never thought I would have a 3 y/o in diapers, but I did. We tried bribery (chocolate), rewards with stickers, we even got a little book about going to the potty-one with buttons to push that made noise like a toilet. She loved it, but it didn't convince her to use the potty. Nothing worked. Just like your son, when we took our daughter, she would go, but left on her own, wearing clothes, she would just wet her panties then come and tell us to change her. One day a couple months ago, though, things finally seemed to click and she came to us and said she needed to poop in the potty. Since then she's done great. It was just done on her time table and not ours!