Difficulty with Potty Training

If you and his other caregivers are "actively" training him he'll catch on soon enough, there is no magic age where potty training clicks with children especially little boys.
Secondly, I may rethink this daycare. If they are holding your son back from moving up just because he's not potty trained they are also holding him back from learning and doing activities that a 3yr old should be doing. If he's not with kids his age, why would you expect him to do age appropriate things-like using the toilet? Sounds to me like you may have found a lazy daycare worker.

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Have you tried Dr. Phil's method? I have an 8 year old and twins that just turned 3. It worked well with all. Here's the web address, in case you are interested: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/264

I couldn't find a doll that wets so I just used a regular doll--I'm sure you can customize so that it's interesting for your little guy. Good luck!

You asked for an "off the wall" method for toilet training. This was years ago when my son was nearly 3. Today he's a missionary to the Ukraine and may not want me to tell this??:)

But we went to Disney World and I took a suitcase full of diapers because he had NO interest in the potty. On the train he fell in love with the "wiggle potty" and potty trained himself by going there quite often.

I realize a train trip may not be in the budget. But we came home with an entire suitcase of diapers, which I thought would be for bringing home souvenires.

Grandma N.

hello L.,

i did the same than L C. Just let your son run around naked or find some cool underwear that he likes and let him run around at home and in the yard. pull ups did not work for my son. that was just like a diaper for him. as soon as i took them of and he peed himself a couple of times, he figured it out by himself.

But yes, i definitly wouldn't push him to hard. if he is not ready he is not ready. it will just take even longer for him to be ready. try it at home without anything. if it doesn't work wait a month or two and try it again.

if your daycare doesn't like it find a diffrent one. you pay them to take care of him. you shouldn't feel guilty and your son selfconscious because of it. and it problably would help him to be around other kids that are potty trained. they usualy take them all together on a potty run and if he sees them all go he might just want to do it too.

well just relax and it will come on its own. at least now you only have one guy that leaves his pee stains on the toilet :)

A.

Boys are harder to potty train than girls. Just something in their make-up I guess. I had a hard time with my son, now almost 6. We tried everything from bribes and sticker charts to putting food coloring in the toilet (this went okay until he squirted blue food coloring on the floor but he thought it was pretty cool how the water changed colors). Is it possible that with the pull-ups he doesn't feel wet? We used the Sam's club brand pull-up which are only look and learn (totally useless) but I would put a pair of his Thomas underwear on underneath his pull up. Granted if he has a BM it will be a little messy but at that age you can usually tell when that
is happening.

Also, if he is in daycare 3 days a week why aren't they doing something to get the ball rolling with potty training him. Afterall, you are paying them to take care of your child while you are at work during the day.

Good Luck.

L. S.

Hope this helps.

L.,

I wouldn't push your son just b/c DC wont advance him to the next class. If they want to leave him in the 2s... so be it, don't stress your son, don't stress yourself. Save this energy for things that REALLY matter!

I have learned this lesson w/my now 5 yr-o son, who went potty on his own until almost 4 and I just about lost it then....(not to discourage you, but this is when he finally went potty!) I thought he'd go to college in diapers!!! I'm not kidding, I'd cry I was so frustrated!

Luckly, our DC ctr was a lil' more cooperative and made ane exception w/him (although their rules were no diapers on the 3s class), which eased off a lil' of stress on me, but still I nagged my son like there was no tomorrow. My poor baby, I feel so guilty now! No bribes, no treats, no movies/cartoons, big-boy undies, no promise encouraged him to go... I quit diapers long before he actually went potty, at least 5 months, I 'roughed' it washing dirty underwear everyday!!! It got to the point where my son'd rinse his own undies.. it was CRAZY!!! He'd rather do that then go potty on his own. I couldn't understand, I was on my last string! THen one day, outta the clear blue, while we were eating dinner, he gets up from the table and dissappears.. I call out to find out where he is and he yells from the restroom, "I'm in the potty" and I come in, and yes he was! He went potty! I couldn't believe it, almost as he'd known to go all along.

So I promise, he will not go to Kinder in diapers... I'm expecting my 2nd and I know that when he is ready, he'll go. PERIOD.

My son turned 3 in May and could care less about the potty! We've tried underwear, pull ups and just sitting him on there every 15 minutes or so and nothing has worked. He just has no interest in it and I wish I knew what to do. Everyone just keeps saying not to worry he'll do it when he's ready but I have the same issue with daycare, they put him in the 3 year old room but they don't like changing the diapers at all!! I wish I could offer some advice but according to a lot of moms I've met boys just take longer and are slower at it. Thanks for asking though, maybe someone can come up with something for both of us to try!

If the incentive to move up to the three's room is not enough (might be after a while, when his friends all move and he doesn't) then you want to see if you can find something that will make your son see potty training as beneficial to him. For my son, he was very motivated by stickers and rewards, I bought this book that had a chart, and he got reward stickers for staying dry all day. Once he got 10 stickers he got to choose a treat (he wanted a Barney video. I hated Barney, but it was very motivating for him). By the time he had gotten 10 stickers, he was pretty much trained. Giving the rewards for staying dry helps avoid the problem of going to the bathroom every 10 minutes just to get another sticker. I have a friend who's son loved the cheerios in the potty as targets. It's whatever will motivate your child. Once he got the #1 down, it took a little while longer, but we used the stickers again for #2.

With my son he was also a late bloomer when it came to potty training. A friend of our suggested that we make a chart and everytime he had a successful day at the potty he got to put a sticker on his chart and then he received a hot wheels car. During the day he got 1 jellybean for a successful job. I know sometimes the cars can be expensive, but try the dollar store, it will be cheaper than pull ups in the long run. This worked like a charm.
S.

It surprises me that they expect all 3s to be trained. Many newly three year olds are not, although preschool age (usually older threes) are usually trained. Does he know that he will be in the "baby" room while all his friends go to the "big boy room"?? Might do the trick.

With my daughter, we did a naked weekend right before she turned three. Only underware and no clothes for about 12 hours except sleeping. I took her to the potty every 30 minutes. On the second day she was going on her own so we put on some easy clothes. Third day we actualy left the house a little. A week later whe was night trained. I know boys have a reputation for being different, but it worked for us.

Overall, don't let anyone put pressure on you. As you know they will do it when they are ready and not before. When they are ready, I really do believe it will only take a few days. Sticker charts and little potties are okay, but for us the key was just HER deciding to use the big girl potty (with a little seat) and being physically ready of course. THree is still pretty young - I bet you will be golden in 3-6 months - husge age gap between now and then.

Hi, L.. Have you taken him to a family restroom in some of the malls(montgomery, tysons, etc.)? The potties are munchkin-size, and my son and his friend really like potty time at those malls. My son is changing his school this fall, and we are in a pressure to fully potty train him until September just like you. It is a great pity because most preschools in other Western countries don't require 3-year-olds to be potty trained from the beginning.

Hi L., did you try cheerios in the potty and did you try a Peter Potty they are great for boys. Also I have a childcare in Pasadena Md.with 1 part time opening for Mon.,Tues and Wed. if you are interested let me know. The cost would be $90.00 for all 3 days and I also do Pre-School and with it being a small group most of the children learn to read by the time they go to elem. school. Well good luck.
L.
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www.childsworldchildcare.com

I would suggest that you go to 3daypottytraining.com. I used this method and successfully potty trained my 18 month old son.

L.,
I'm no decorated expert, but I have long thought that kids don't potty train easily these days because they are so comfortable in our 'new fangled' stay dry diapers. When kids wore cloth diapers that got heavy and felt wet, they were uncomfortable and kids were releived to get potty trained. I found the Pampers, Feel & Learn pull up style diaper to be helpful for us with our son. The simple art of putting our son in regular underpants and letting him feel wet helped him make up his own mind to go in the potty. Naturally, I had the inconvenience of having to tidy up some mishaps, but in the long run it was not bad. Once he got the idea that he was a big boy and it was time to wear big boy pants, he got on board. (like it or not, they must decide to do it, so if we help them along with their decision, that's 90% of the battle)
I see on the Mamasourse page a link to a guaranteed potty training in 3 days, site. I haven't studied it, but there may be some additional ideas there.
Good luck... I know you'll do fine.
S.

My 3 1/2 year old used pull ups during the day, he had to put them on and take them off. At bedtime he wore diapers.
Take time with only you and your child, I did it on a Sat. Morning. my husband took the other children out of the house for the day.
When he had to go, we went to the bathroom together, used a child potty chair. His own chair. after he went, he had to pour the wast into the big boy toilet and flush.
Grandma has to follow this procedure. have the child put on his pull ups. Maybe then you can buy him some big boy boy underpants to wear when your home with him. Just a few ideas. that worked with my first two boys, the third boy was too busy doing things, playing with computer, digging in saandbx etc. to realize he was messing his pantts.

Try the Once Upon a Potty video. you can get it from Netflix or the library. I also give my kids "potty candy"(skittles or m&m's) 1 for #1 and 2 for #2. I would also switch him to cotton training pants for when you are at home. You can put plastic pants over them to minimize mess. But it will help him to feel when he wets himself and it will not feel nice when he does. Also, he may not be ready yet. If not then i would not stress yourself or him out I would continue to talk about the potty and read about the potty and try again in a couple of months.

Hi L.!

Please don't let the day care center try to put your child into a mold. Don't let them tell you that he "should be" trained by 3yrs old. That's not true. You do not learn new things at the same pace as everyone else in the world that is your age so we can't expect these little ones to either. Can you tell that they frustrate me?! Sorry!

As for cost savings, could you just put him in regular diapers until he is ready? They are so much less compared to the cost of pull ups.

Do you put him on the "big potty" at home or a potty chair? Do you put him on the big potty backwards? This worked great for all 3 of mine. But remember, all kids are unique.

With a 15yr old, you know he will learn eventually. LOL

Take Care,
N. :)
SAHM homeschooling 3 boys 12, 7 & 2 yrs old. Married for almost 15yrs to Mr. Wonderful!

The other ladies are absolutely correct, the more you push, the longer it will take. That much I know from experience! I would encourage you to look for a new DC that's a little more understanding, and let your current DC know you'll be looking. If he's three, he needs to be learning the three year old stuff whether or not he's potty trained. Tell your DC that maybe being in the room with the other potty trained 3 yr olds might do the trick.

Even adults when they're learning something new tend to go at their own pace, to a degree. Why do we expect our children to do any better? I can understand a preschool not wanting to change diapers, but a daycare? That's ridiculous. They should be helping potty train him. What are you paying them for, the partial care of your child? Or to take care of all his needs through the day?

Pull ups are a waste, unless you're going on a long car trip and he'll be trapped in the car. Kids treat them like diapers 'cause that's what they are; more expensive diapers.

You might try telling him that he's on the last size of diapers and they'll be getting very tight and uncomfortable, so he needs to start wearing big boy underwear. Get the padded thick kind, Gerber makes them, but also get some with a cartoon character he really likes, and tell him he has to go on the potty and stop having accidents before he can wear the character ones.

Wishing you better luck than I had,
S. K

I know what it's like to feel pressured by the daycare. Sorry you have to go through that, because it sounds like you and your husband have a pretty healthy attitude about the whole thing. Too many people think kids need to be trained by such a young age now. My son was approaching 3 and still not even remotely interested in training. I tried every couple of months from the age of 2 to gauge his interest, and finally a month before his 3rd birthday, I had a whole week off work and we did potty training boot camp. Stripped him naked, stayed in areas of the house with vinyl or tile floors (for easy cleanup) and asked him every 1/2 hour to try the potty. He didn't really like it, but he did it, and I only really needed 2 days of my week off before he got into the whole thing and decided it was good to be dry. I also found out that he was more comfortable facing backward on the potty, I think he felt more secure and relaxed. Once I figured that quirk out, he had no problems at all. Good luck!

Hi L.,

Here are some webs sites:

http://www.thediaperfreebaby.com/

http://potty-training.suite101.com/article.cfm/elimination

Hope this helps. Good luck. D.

Hi L.,
I was having the same issues with my son. He would use the potty only when I asked him to go. The pull-ups weren't helping at all, he was using them just like a diaper, I tried putting him in just underwear, but again no success. So finally after months of this we decided to let him run around naked.....and it worked. He had no accidents, ran to the potty on his own, and was very proud of himself when he did it all by himself. We did this for 3-4 days, and now he is in underwear and so far so good.
I did let my son go where he wanted to in the house and his potty chair was always within reach. I know friends that have also done this but kept them on hard floor surfaces--just in case. Good luck, I hope this helps.

We let our son go buttom naked over the weekend and he started running to the potty since he did not want to pee/poo on his toys or wherever he way playing. Of course there wer some accidents, but we just used a steam cleaner from Lowes afterwards.We did not push, did not bribe....he was ready so he did it.

I have 4 boys and 3 of them are potty trained. Each one of them was a different story. But, according to my ped. he said that the average potty training age for boys is 3&1/2. Mine were all 2. (not ot brag ;)) A slow pour of warm water over their "pee-pee" helped one of them. This way they understood the sensation of going and having to go pee. Also, because I was the one training...all my boys sit to go. Less mess. What helps too,is that there are not alot of people training him. If he has good verbal skills, he should be ready... It does take time...alot of time. Hope some of this info will help. Good luck!!!

What I did for my grandson, most people would not agree, but here goes. I created a potty center similar to a calendar (small squares), and taped it to the wall in the bathroom. I then created stars small enough to go into the square of the calendar. The color of the stars were the color of the skittles candy in the red bag. I cut out the stars. Everytime he used the TOILET, I rewarded him by allowing him to pick a star to glue (stick glue) on the chart and then pick the skittle of the same color of the star. This process gave me a 3 for 1. He practiced his fine motor skills by gluing the small star in the square, he learned his colors (matching), as well as got used to using the TOILET. You can also use froot loop cereal and allow him to practice an aim. I started 3 weeks before school started for him because he needed to be potty trained---it worked. Once he was in school,he did as the others did. Good Luck. P.S. The other part of the training is another issue to deal with if you know what I mean (smile)