Advice for Getting Infant into a Napping Pattern

Updated on February 28, 2008
J.M. asks from Papillion, NE
39 answers

My daughter was born in December and in October, I took a job working from home so I could be with her. We couldn't afford for me to not work so this is the best of both worlds for us. I started back to work part time last week and I go back full time next Monday. My daughter is 2 1/2 months old and does not nap during the day other than occassionally falling asleep in her bouncy seat for 20-30 minutes maybe twice a day. Does anyone have any advice/tips for getting her in a pattern of taking naps or is this just something that time will fix? I want to spend as much time with her as possible during the day but I also have to find time to get my work done which I wanted to do while she napped.

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N.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

The book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" is wonderful and will guide you thru all the stages to come. It's great to have on hand to reference. Highly recommend this!

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S.T.

answers from Appleton on

I do not know what is "normal" or not, but, my daughter did not start having scheduled naps until I started laying her down in her crib for nap time. This was at 6 months for us. Up until then, she took cat naps where ever she happened to be- in the swing, the car, etc. Good luck!

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L.H.

answers from Des Moines on

I "third" the advice on Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I can't say enough good about that book. I highly recommend it.

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C.D.

answers from La Crosse on

First off, my advice to you is to try to co-sleep with the baby when she naps. Co-sleeping is a great way to teach a baby how to sleep. However it sounds like your schedule may be a wee bit intense. Just so you know, it is very difficult to get an infant to maintain a napping schedule at 2 1/2 months because they are changing so much for the next year and closer to one year old really is when you can start to find sleep consistency. I suggest pushing your baby in a stroller around the kitchen table while playing a tape or cd of calming music ever so lightly. An indoor stroller (umbrella or the Grayco kind) was a permanent fixture in the house for us for a couple years there! The trick is this: tilt the stroller back while you push it, kind of like it is propped up doing a wheelie. It makes it easier to turn the corners. That way the baby can lie back and be extra comfortable without a wobbly head. Tuck her in, make sure she's warm, and buckle her in safely. If you go around the kitchen table enough times, the baby will tire and fall asleep. When she does, just make sure she's buckled in well and push her into a quiet space in the home where you can hear her if she cries. An added bonus is that you can get some exercising done while pushing her around in the stroller: tighten one butt cheek at a time while taking each step, and step lightly. It worked for me! Good luck!

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K.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

My second child was not a good sleeper. I stumbled across a book called Sleep Sense. It was an on-line book that you purchase and then download to your computer. Great book! It was worth every penny to me.

Good that you are thinking about a sleep schedule now. It will be much easier on you if she learns how to be a good sleeper, both at naps and at night.

Good luck,
K.

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L.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

It can definitely be done! Just hang in there--as she gets older she will develop more of a pattern-maybe around 6 months. I loved the book Healthy Sleep Habits-Happy Child by Wiessbluth.

Are you nursing? My babies would always go down after a feeding. There is a hormone in your milk (tryptophan--like in turkey) that will help make your baby sleepy! Remember with breastfeeding not to schedule your feedings because that could decrease your milk supply and make for a cranky baby. It is best for breastfeeding to feed the baby when the baby wants to eat. It's all about supply and demand!

Otherwise just prop your baby up in a bouncy chair next to you and talk to here while you work!

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M.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

With my older son I couldn't get him to sleep to save my life (and sometimes to save his LOL). I found The Secrets of the Baby Whisperer to be a godsend. I had read a lot of different methods and couldn't bear to leave my baby alone in his room. Although I did agree that having them fall asleep on their own was the best way to get them to sleep. Baby Whisperer has a system (EASY Eat, Activity, Sleep, You Time) that seems to work really well and doesn't involve leaving the baby alone and screaming. I went from a baby who never slept to one who had 3 1-2 hour naps a day. I used the same method with my second and it worked really well. Good Luck!

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B.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I read in a book about following this pattern and it worked for my daughter: put the baby down two hours after she wakes up for the first nap, and then put her down four hours after that for the afternoon nap. For example: if the baby wakes up at 7, put her down for a nap at 9, if she wakes up at 11, put her down again at 3. Fit your feedings and play time around that. She may need a catnap before bed as well, those used to concern me about disturbing night time sleep, but they didn't. Really watch your daughter and look for sleepy signs, rubbing eyes, yawning and go ahead and put her down. Get into a routine and she will start to nap better. Do not hesitate to put her down awake or drowsy eihter. Good luck! My older son was not a napper and it was a nightmare so I really understand what you are going through. :)

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J.B.

answers from Fort Myers on

J.,
I'm sorry I don't have much advice for you as I had twin girls the end of Nov. and are now 3 months old and they too do not nap other than the occasional 20-30 minutes. I look forward to hearing what advice you do get because I could use some. But does you daughter sleep through the night? I was working but my job wasn't willing to be flexible with me upon my return with scheduling and needing to pump, because I'm nursing my girls. Due to this I decided to leave but I am curious as to what kind of work I can do at home. I'm not interested in selling MaryKay or Partylite or anything like this. What kind of job are you doing from home?
Good luck new mama.

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C.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

You can start working on a schedule. Usually morning nap 2 hours after she is up, then same for afternoon nap. It's ok to put her down awake and let her cry for a bit. There's something called an EASY schedule - eat, activity, sleep, you time. As soon as you see that first yawn or rubbing the eyes put her down for nap. Probably at that age she'll nap 3 times during the day. Try to write out her cues on a typical day and then structure around that.

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K.R.

answers from Sioux Falls on

what i did with my boys is this: i would feed them and burp them, change their pants, and then put them down in their crib. (or play pen, or bouncy seat or wherever you want her to sleep) and leave them alone. i mean not literally alone, lol but dont mess with them. make sure there is some sort of back ground noise, a tv, or radio, or something. and leave them be, even if they start to fuss or cry a bit. dont go to her unless she is at a full blown cry. most babies need some sort of stimulation to coax them into relaxing to sleep. if she really starts to wail, go to her, give her a paci if she uses one, or simply talk softly to her and pat her belly or back or butt real gently. when she quiets down then go back to your work. keep that up and she will start to learn that when you feed her, burp her, and change her then put her down at that time of day that you want her to sleep. it will take time, doesnt happen over night... lol that would be too easy, but with persistance it should do the trick!

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G.P.

answers from Appleton on

I would recommend a baby carrier. I have a 4 month old and a three year old, and this thing is my life line. My baby loves to ride in it, and will sleep in it for hours. He has reflux and has already begun teething (ugh!) so this is pretty much the only way he sleeps soundly. I have full use of my arms when he is in it, and am able to play with my older son, and get my own things done. I have an ergo baby carrier and I love it. I am able to wear him in it on the front, back, and side, and can switch to these positions without taking the carrier off. It's awesome! However, it is very pricey (I received it as a gift from a friend who owns a baby supply store.) There are many other types of baby carriers out there. I would not recommend the Snugli pack as the buckles slip and seem to need constant readjustment. I also personally had a difficult time with 2 varieties of slings, but know people who love them. You just need to find out which one is right for you. I know this does not answer the question of the nap routine, but it may help you get your work done. Good Luck.

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S.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son was a "cat-napper" when he was young also, and to my envy my friends son who was only 5wks older took 2-4 hour naps durning the day. My son also would ONLY sleep on his stomache which I allowed being truley he would not sleep on his back, which I believe was because he was colic (very gassy) as he grew out of that problem his naps and night sleeping got better. My son is now 16 months old and he has been a great napper, and sleeps great at night and my friends son still wakes up at a very early hour.

If you daughter seems gassy, or when you hold her she likes pressure on her stomache or likes stomache time best mybe she is also colic. Most of the time my son was happy, but sleeping was a real issue. I hope this helps and maybe gives you some hope, the swing became a great asset for me in the earlier days, being he would sleep in that when it was going.

S.

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N.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

I have not read the other postings, so I apologize if I'm repeating what others said.

Anyway -- I hate to be the voice of negativity, but I was in a similar boat when our son was that age. My employeer had a policy where you could bring our child to work until they were crawling, initially I thought this would be great. By the time our son was 4 1/2 months old I was almost having a breakdown. It was challenging to get our son onto a regular nap pattern and he didn't start taking 1-2 hour naps until around 5-6 months. I ultimatly found that if he was with me I couldn't get work done and we started him in daycare.

I know this is not the answer you were looking for, but I wanted to reassure you that you are not a bad mother if you are struggling with balancing work and home -- I REALLY struggled with this and felt like a failure for not being able to do both at the same time, I've since learned that it is o.k. to make each a seperate priority.

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A.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I know you already have received a ton of responses, but I just wanted to add M. opinion. I have almost 10 month old twin girls, so a schedule was a necessity for us!!! I read the book Babywise (recommendation from M. sister), and it worked AMAZINGLY!! It sounds like it's the basic method that is used in the baby whisperer book from what your responses said. It's very important to keep them on the pattern of eating, playing, then sleeping. Please don't listen to the advice of walking your child around the table in a stroller or co-sleeping--are you kidding?! Who has that kind of time?! LOL! Do what's best for you! Good luck!!!

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A.R.

answers from La Crosse on

I also have a 2 1/2 mo. old. congrats:) she's our third, so i need to have some time for my other 2. my saving grace has been a baby sling. she's still light enough so that she's not killing my back, and some days, for whatever reason, she just will not settle unless she's next to me. the sling lets me be close to my baby, while going about my daily business. i can make snacks, dance, play games, type (at the moment, she's dozing on me:), read, do some house work, etc. my other 2 were similar. they did get into a great napping schedule when they were 3-4 mo. old. at such a young age, if she isn't sleeping during the day much, she is probably getting overtired, making the problem worse for you both. when my little one gets overtired, she absolutely needs to be worn in the sling. when i do wear her, i can often lay her down later b/c she IS settled. i also recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" an excellent reference for parents. the sling i use is the kind recommended by William and Martha Sears. they have a great webpage. good luck. hang in there:)

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A.B.

answers from Sioux Falls on

We used the Baby Wise Method. I didn't have a chance to read the book all the way through but it breaks down to the child being up for 2 hours then take an hour nap. For example if your daughter wakes up for the day at 7:00 in the morning then she would be up until 9:00 and then go down for a nap until 10. Then she would be up again until noon and go down for a nap until 1 and so on.
When they wake up from their nap you are supposed to change their diaper, feed them and then play until the next nap time. It is to train the child to be able to fall asleep on their own. Our little one is quite good at doing that now. And they say to only let them nap for the hour but sometimes we let our daughter go longer. I would really recommend at least getting the book to get more specifics on the method. But it has worked for us. Then you know when there will be breaks in your day to get work done while she is sleeping. I hope this helps!

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S.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

My son is 6 months & he is like that. Our dr. said that he just might not be a napper ever. He sleeps well at night but takes these mini cat naps during the day & that seems to be all he needs. He doesn't want to miss anything while he sleeps it seems.

Sorry that I have no advise, but I just wanted to let you know my experience. =)

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C.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I agree with putting your baby on a schedule.I read The Baby Whisperer and used their recommendations. I would wake up my son from his napping until I got him on schedule. My hubby went away to grad school when my son was 8 weeks old and I was a stay-at-home mom for 2 years so I had to have my child on a schedule or I would have gone crazy. The other big thing was that i had to make sure he had enough to eat during the day so that he wouldn't wake up at night to feed.

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K.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter just turned 4 months. She was the same way until a few weeks ago. She would fall asleep in her chair, the floor, the swing or on us. Finally one day, I told myself, I have to get her to nap. I started laying her down for her nap at 2pm, when my husband leaves for work. I work from home and this is when my son naps also, so this was best time to get her to nap. She started out fussy when I put her down and would cry for awhile, but since I knew she was tired I just let her cry it our for a bit. Eventually the crying lessoned and even stoped. She would sleep from 2-5, waking up to fuss for minute here and there at times, but would go back to sleep. She sleeps just fine at night, but knows when it is "not night time". Sometimes I open her curtains a bit so there is light in there and it seems to help, I think it feels the same as falling asleep in the living room with the light.

Good luck, I am sure you will get her on a routine soon enough... I know how it feels to need your time to work...and your quiet time!!

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S.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

When I took an early childhood class with my babies, the teacher suggested that babies at that age are ready for sleep at about 2 hour intervals. So after she's awake for 2 hours, try to put her down in the same place each time, creating a consistent routine. Give her some time to fall asleep, and if it doesn't work you can try again 2 hours later. I think at that age both mine were napping three times a day, and the "2 hour" rule helped me watch for those sleepy cues.

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S.H.

answers from Duluth on

I followed the advise from the book The Baby Whisperer. She had awesome schedules and advise for all temperments.
I have twins and it was important for me to have them on the same nap schedule. I followed the EASY plan. Eat...Activity....Sleep,,,and You. It is all about consistancy.
I would highly recommend the book to read.
Good luck with the naps and geting back to work.

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K.B.

answers from Milwaukee on

Hi,
A book that saved my sanity with my sons sleeping habits is, 'Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child'. It has many suggestions and tips for how long, how often and flat out, how to get your child to sleep. It starts with birth and goes into the toddler and preschool years. It has worked wonders for me!

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A.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

The most helpful thing I've learned about scheduling a baby is doing things in this order:
wake up, eat, play, go to sleep and then repeat. At 2 1/2 months, I think I had my kids on a three hour schedule. So, for example: Wake up and eat at 7, then activity of some sort (bath, under a mobile, cuddle time, etc) and down for a nap at 8:30 or so. Then, up and feed again at 10.
I think the key is doing things at the same time every day. Babies do really great with consistency and it sounds like that would help you, too, for predictable work times.
Another note: try and keep her awake during activity time. If she falls asleep while eating, wake her up because she will likely only take a short nap then and be fussy later. Being proactive about a schedule is really the only way to implement one. In my experience, just going with the flow did not work. Plus, I never knew what the baby needed when fussy. This way, you are being proactive and giving baby what she needs (food, sleep) and so you are not left wondering what's wrong.

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B.C.

answers from Rapid City on

Hi J.,

I HIGHLY recommend working on some kind of napping pattern. Don't force your daughter into anything that's not right for her … every child is different … but it will make a world of difference for the both of you if you have regular nap times!!! And if you can get into a nap time routine now then you won't likely struggle with them when your daughter is older.

My son and I struggled with nap times when he was 3-1/2, 4 months old. He is now almost 9 months old and is sleeping much better than he did when he was younger. Some times his naps only last 30 or 45 minutes, but that seems to be what he needs. At least I can put him in his crib at regular times and he doesn't fight me, he goes to sleep and wakes up in a good mood.

I read the Sleep Sense Program and that helped a lot, but it involves some CIO. There are lots of resources out there.

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K.N.

answers from Lincoln on

We followed the schedule and advice in the book Baby Wise, and I cannot say enough about how successful this was for us as well as my sister and her son. I wholly believe that our son sleeping 8 hours a night at 2 1/2 months and 12 hours a night at 5 months, with two solid naps (at least 1 1/2 hours each) during the day was due to his ability to get to sleep on his own and to the consistent schedule that he was on. However, this was only accomplished because we let him do some crying and didn't run in and pick him up every time he made a peep. The crying is short-lived, and now, at almost 2 years old, he almost never cries when we lay him down for his afternoon nap or nighttime. Although I sometimes hear him in there talking, jumping, or knocking on the wall before he settles down on his own to sleep. One thing the book talks about it that the parent determines how long the nap is, and I think that is important to remember in this process. My son often went to work with me for half days until he was about 11 months old, and it was because he was a great sleeper that I could make that work. Good luck.

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A.H.

answers from Milwaukee on

At about 12 weeks infants typically start developing a 'schedule'. That being said, as soon as you think you have a schedule, it will change. When babies have growth spurts, reach milestones, etc their schedules and especially sleep patterns will change.

What I did is just started putting my son (now 7 months old and taking 2 naps, morning and afternoon, for 1 1/2 -2 hours each) down at the same time each morning and each afternoon to give him consistency. I started a naptime ritual with pulling down the shades, reading a book, saying a prayer, singing the same song and then putting him down. It may take a day or two for them to get used to a schedule. Typically a morning nap is about 2 or 3 hours after waking in the morning. My son goes down at 9am and then again about 1:15-1:30pm. At your daughter's age she probably won't be able to go more than 2 hours of being awake before being ready for a nap.

Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Bismarck on

I read this when I was pregnant with my second son and it worked incredibly well. I had the same problem you are having with my first son, and surprisingly, it not only worked for my newborn but also for my first son who was 5yrs old, at the time. Here goes: for now, every time you see your daughter falling asleep, have a cd player ready to play ONE particular song or sing that particular song to her. After a few weeks she will subconsciously associate that song with a calm, relaxing sleep environment. Gradually move the time she normally falls asleep to a time that is convenient for you. While singing to my sons for a few minutes, they would fall asleep, I would then turn on the sound of waves crashing or rain falling (white noise) to block out any sounds that might disturb them if they were otherwise sleeping in complete silence. The songs I chose to sing were "Silent Night" "Somewhere over the Rainbow" and the Titanic song by Celine Dion. By the time my youngest son turned 2, he could sing all the songs by himself!!I hope this helps. My sons are now 12 & 18.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

J.~

Is your daughter on a schedule? Does she eat at certain times each day? I know some people are against schedules, but I think infants need it. If she isn't already put her on an eating schedule like: 8am, noon, 4pm and 8pm. Then put her on a napping schedule like: 9am-11am, and 1pm-3pm. When you put her down for a nap, just lay her down in her crib or pack-n-play then walk out of the room closing the down behind you. I'm sure she'll fuse for awhile, but she WILL fall asleep. If you are consistant, and keep putting her down at about the same time everyday and walk out of the room, adventually she will take good 2 hour naps with no fusing. Also putting her on a good day schedule will help her sleep through the night. Remember, it is OK to let your child fuse a little. I did this with both of my girls and they were good nappers until 4-5 yrs old. Good Luck!
~J.

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L.E.

answers from Minneapolis on

Napping can be tricky. My little boy is about to turn 10 months in a few days and it's really hard to get him to take a nap. He only likes to fall asleep on the boob, in my arms, just not in his crib. You are lucky that your's is still little and you can introduce the crib at an early stage yet. The trick is to get your baby in there before she falls asleep so she will learn to fall asleep on her own and in her own crib. All naps should be at the same time and same place. You will notice a pattern of when she gets tired. Put her down at that same time every day. Before she gets fuss. We had problems with sleeping through the night as well. We started using Dr Ferber's book on sleeping disorders and now he sleeps through the night and it was fairly painless. It was a little sad at first because they do cry and all you want to do is hold them. Really it is better for the baby in the long run and you. And your relationship with your husband.

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D.S.

answers from Omaha on

We used the book by Dr. Weissbluth calling "Healthy sleep Habits, Happy Child". The man is a sleep genius and his ideas kept us sane. I liked how his book was set up so that each age group was it's own chapter so you dont have to read the whole book to get started, just the parts that pertain to a 2mo old. The first few chapters are kind of an overview and then he breaks it down by age so you can probably read all you need to get started in one to two nights. My honest opinion is that she will settle into a better, more solid schedule soon but you need to be sure and do the right things to ensure that. Good luck!!

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R.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

J.,

This could have been written by me! My daughter is very much the same way. She rarely (and I emphasize - rarely) falls asleep on her own during the day - and if she does, that's the only chance of her taking a decent nap during the day. Otherwise I have to hold her in order for her to get a good nap. Once I try to put her down - anywhere!- I've only for 10-20 minutes before she wakes up. I think it's just how it's going to be for a while. Eventually they'll start taking better naps, I'm sure. My son didn't get into a pattern for napping until he was a little older - when he only needed two naps during the day..then it was pretty typical as to what time he'd be ready to go down. Every child is different, but I don't know that there's anything you can do to make your daughter take naps on schedule - at least not yet. I do understand what you're in for - just trying to take care of my house is a challenge since she doesn't nap well - let alone doing anything extra - or anything on a time frame. Good luck, and if you happen to find the magic 'cure' to get her on a napping schedule, let me know! ;)

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B.T.

answers from Sioux Falls on

Good Morning J.,

We have a 6 year old and Twins who will be turning 2 in April. Let me tell you I KNOW nap time is IMPORTANT!!
Anyway, what we did with all of ours to get them in the pattern was make sure they are fed, changed, happy, do not have any basic needs at the moment and then go and put them in their room, hug em', tell them it's nap time and off you go. Yes, they will cry for a little while but if you do this consistently the same time everyday it works. But the trick is routine, same time.
My hubby gave in with our twins, because one is a girl and his heart melted everytime she said "boo" so I said okay- balls in your court... if you wanna stay up at nap time and at bedtime with her...fine. I have things to do and I would let him handle it. After 3 days of listening to her whine, and giving in. He went back to the routine and they slept (and still do only in the morning now though) every morning and in the afternoon and that is when I got stuff done.

We also adhere to the same bedtime every night. When they were under 9mths they stayed up till 9pm - now all 3 are in bed by 8am and up at 6:30am. It's awesome!! But you gotta put up with a little crying until they get used to the routine, know they are safe and know you will come back and get them later.

Hope this helps.

B.
____@____.com

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S.B.

answers from Omaha on

Do you have a swing? That made a world of difference for us when my son was that age. Also, feeding him formula right before his afternoon nap helped keep him asleep longer. I know there are plenty of breast-feeders who believe there will be "nipple confusion", but food is food and we never had any problem giving him formula twice per day (once before afternoon nap and then before bed) to get him to sleep for 4-5 hours at a stretch. It did wonders for me and him!

BTW - I am looking for a work-at-home position. How did you find yours?

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S.S.

answers from Des Moines on

Hi J.,

I wouldn't stress out about it too much yet. She is still pretty young. My twin boys didn't start napping reliably until they were 3 1/2 - 4 months old. Now they have two little half hour naps in the morning in their bouncy seat or swing, but after their 1:00 feeding, I rock them to sleep and put them to bed in the crib. This works well for them, and they will sleep until 4-5:30ish, which allows me precious time to get stuff done.

So, try rocking her to sleep after her feedings, and then put her in her crib, and see if that will help her to sleep longer.

Good luck!

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S.A.

answers from Omaha on

My little one is exactly the same age as yours. The only way we can get her to sleep during the day (other than her cat naps) is to put her in a swing. She usually falls asleep within a few minutes and stays asleep for 30 minutes to an hour. We don't do it very often though (twice per day at most) because we it's SO effective. We feel like bad parents for wanting a few minutes of quiet uninterrupted time for work and chores.

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R.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I second the advice on reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy child...It is a life saver!

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

She may not be a napper. My son is 6 months old and has never been a napper. He will usually take 2 to 3 half hour naps and that is it. Sometimes less. He sleeps pretty good at nite just not during the day. He is very active and will probably not ever be a big napper. Your daughter may not be either. I know its tough now, but as they get older it gets easier because they can entertain themselves. Good luck and mabye as she gets older she will get better.

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J.S.

answers from Davenport on

It is very important that you get your child on a schedule. Feed her at the same time everyday. Also, never rock your child to sleep or use swings or bouncy seats for napping. Lay her down at the same time daily. I had 3 children and I did in home childcare. Every child slept at the same time for 1-2 hours in the afternoon, if not more.

I had a schedule of feeding my kids at 8:00. They would nap around 9:00. Lunch at 11:00. They would take a 2 hour nap around 12:00. I would feed them around 2:00. They would eat again around 5:00....they would take an hour nap after they ate. I would then feed them around 8:00, and then laid them down for the night. So basically, they would eat every 3 hours or so...when they were tired, I would lay them down. All my kids were night sleepers: The oldest slept all night at 10 days (8-12 hrs.) and the other two were sleeping all night at 8 weeks (8-12 hrs.) I think a schedule is important to get your child to sleep well.

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