About Having Baby #3.... - Arlington,TX

Updated on December 14, 2010
B.C. asks from Arlington, TX
3 answers

Here's our situation:
I have baby fever BAD!!!! Here's the issue:

In Feb. 2006, I had an ectopic pregnancy (this was our first baby together and I was 23). I had a 4 year old by another man at the time.
It took us 12 months to get pregnant again and that was after 3 months of clomid and an hsg test to clear my tubes (which got us pregnant that month)
I had our daughter who is now 3 (light of my life!) :)
We were doing the whole "we're not trying but not preventing" thing for a year or so and I ended up pregnant in May of this year. I miscarried it at 6 weeks.
We got pregnant again 2 weeks after the 1st miscarriage and I miscarried that one at 6 weeks too.
The doc did bloodwork and told me that I have cytomegalovirus which is very very common but that some people have it recur which is what he thinks happened to me. It can cause miscarriages. He told me to wait until Jan. to get prego. I was completely anti-baby Until recently. I just can’t think about anything else. I was only anti-baby because I didn’t want to get pregnant again until I really felt it and now I do! My problems are this:
I am terrified to get pregnant again b/c of the risk of miscarriage. I know that there’s nothing I can do to prevent it, but I guess that’s what is so scary!
Since we’ve had SO many issues, I have no idea how long it will take to conceive again and I was so frustrated for that year that we had to try for Aubrey that it took a toll on us. She was worth the effort though! 
I’m just scared to start the process. I guess that’s all. I want another one so bad and I know it’ll all be worth it in the end, but I fear that my anxiety about it is just going to make it harder. Any wisdom?

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More Answers

J.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

have you googled cytomegalovirus? you should.

1 mom found this helpful

S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Anxiety will make it harder. It's just a sucky fact. So when you start to feel stressed or panicky, do some deep cleansing breaths and think about your daughter.

Multiple miscarriages are progressively harder to take. I have lost five pregnancies, so I know the toll. And I know the toll extended trying takes. Everybody thinks, "Heh heh, all you have to do is have sex ALL the time, heh," like Beevis and Butthead, I swear. But the mind and the heart do funny things to a person who's struggling. The fact is, you can overcome your losses and get your rainbow baby. And he/she, too, will be as worth it as Aubrey.

Be proactive. Can you take something to make sure the virus doesn't recur? Do that HSG test again to clear your tubes (I have no idea what that is... my main point is to make sure your body is in order before you start actively trying). Find out what you'll need to expect through your pregnancy and delivery that might be different because of the virus, if anything.

January is practically here (I know... that's when I return to work after having my third in August). You have some time to schedule appointments, start taking prenatals and begin the work. I'm not going to say "just relax" because, really... who does that just because they're told to? But I will suggest that you drop your shoulders, breathe slowly and see what happens.

Hugs,

S. :+)

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

You should do some more research and talk to your doctor further about the cytomegalovirus. It is very common, but it can also cause a number of congenital complications to a baby and in the U.S. is only 2nd to Down's Syndrome in causing mental retardation in babies:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cytomegalovirus

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congenital_cytomegalovirus_i...

I would make sure I had REALLY explored everything including any possible medications you should possibly be taking for it before conceiving again.

1 mom found this helpful
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