5Yr Old - Bedtime Issues

Updated on April 07, 2008
H.L. asks from Lockport, IL
9 answers

I have been noticing lately that it can be a chore to get my almost 5yr old to bed. Sometimes he will go to sleep with no issues and other times he will fight to go to bed. He will talk back, stall, you name it. Is this normal? Does anyone have any suggestions on what to do?

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R.G.

answers from Chicago on

I am a mother of a 5 yr old. She tries all the tricks! It's not easy, but stick to the routine. If my daughter knows what is expected, I get less trouble.

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

This works for all kinds of issues:
A therapist advised me to make a calendar or chart with days of the week. Keep it up where he can see it on the wall or fridge. Each time he goes to bed without a fuss he gets a gold star sticker. When he has a full week of stars he gets to choose a special outing of his choice. In my experience they always prefer to spend time with mom & dad, even better if you get a sitter to stay with little sister.

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L.W.

answers from Chicago on

The chart idea works really well for both my 3 and 6 year old sons. A week may be too long for the reward depending on your son's attention span... you may want to work up to a week? Another idea is to make it bedtime for an imaginary character. My 3 year old loves to play in the bath, but balks at having his hair washed so sometimes we pretend he's a dinosaur at the watering hole being washed by his mom or last night he and his older brother were puppies being washed at the doggie salon by my assistant (Dad) for the upcoming dog show. They each pick out what type of dog or dino they want to be and act it all out. They both won best in show at the dog show last night which earned themIt never fails to produce happy cooperation. When 3 year old balks at nap, I ask if he wants to be baby kitty snuggling Mama kitty in his bed (or baby and Mama kangaroo or whatever!) and it almost always gets him lying down. For your son it may be Spiderman curling up in his web, or Batman in his bat cave or a cowboy in his bedroll... You know what he likes and if you can combine what he balks at with something he's interested in, it's suddenly bedtime with a fun spin to it. I would start the pretending right after dinner, matter of factly, like. "I think after dinner Spiderman's going to swing upstairs and do his Spidey bedtime routine." You make things up and he'll make suggestions and you just have to stick with it until he's in bed! Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I am having the same issues. It is like they are afraid they are missing out on something.

Thanks and Good Luck!!

I work full time and have a 5 yr old and 19 mon old girls

M.

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H.A.

answers from Chicago on

H.,

Have you purchased 'big boy' sheets that will want your son to get in his bed? If you have done this already you may want to take a TV program away for 'the next' day. Try that and see if that may work.

H. A. Crete,IL

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D.S.

answers from Chicago on

Lucca, now 7 did the same thing, and before I noticed, bedtime was taking almost 2 hours! My pediatrician suggested using an alarm clock to put the process more on a timed schedule. I now have an alarm clock in the bathroom, that from the time we get upstairs to start the bedtime routine, I set for 20 minutes (sometimes a little shorter, if we get upstairs a little later than usual). If Lucca can take a bath, get in his jammies, brush his teeth and be in his room before the alarm goes off (I still help him with most of this), he gets an added treat of an extra 9 minutes (the length of time our alarm clock takes to go off again if I hit snooze). The 9 minutes is for laying in bed, under the covers, and me reading a story to him. If he's not in bed by the first alarm, no 9 minutes. It's happened a few times, and you might imagine the temper tantrum that causes, but I can't give in now that the rule is established, and because he knows I'm serious, he's good about it. I give him warnings (e.g. you only have 6 minutes until the alarm goes off...better hurry or no 9 minutes...) Once the alarm goes off the second time, it's lights out for good.

FYI, my husband has his own routine with Lucca, and does not use the alarm clock, but that hasn't been an issue for its effectiveness for me. I put him to bed most of the time, and he just knows it's a little different with Mommy or with Daddy.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

He's probably testing you. Stick to your guns and don't argue with him. Tell him once to go back to bed and however many times he comes out carrying on, pick him up and put him back...if you have to sit outside his room all night! He must respect what you say now or you're in big trouble when he's older.

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

The best advice I can give you is make a bedtime schedule (bath, book and then bed etc.)I know when my son was younger and before all these bedtime bath w/ lavendar came out I used to get lavendar oil from the natural food and supplement store in our area and added just a little to his bathwater, dimmed the lights, and put on soft music ( Norah Jones is a big fav for bedtime)Consistancy is the key to getting any child to sleep or do anything for that matter.

Hope this helps!!

A. mom to Noah

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L.R.

answers from Chicago on

Sorry to get so basic on you, but in my experience bedtime issues are often related to not getting enough exercise, so they don't feel tired. Also, try to ignore what you read about how many hours of sleep kids need. They will get what they need. You may just be putting him to bed too early.

The other alternative that I've had a lot of experience with is, kids think the circus (i.e., noise, fun!) is still going on without them and they hate that! Since I remember it vividly from my own childhood I try never to do that. Slow down the activity level of the entire house; turn lights off or down; turn TV down or off for a while. When the kids are asleep you and spouse can turn lights and TV or music back on, more softly of course. You might find you enjoy the slowing down of evening activities yourself.

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